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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2007 » How To be A Nig%*r...?????? « Previous Next »

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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption

Post Number: 2902
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 01:00 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ok....here we go. You tell me......

How To Be A Nig%*r.

Ref: http://www.niggermania.org/

PART I

1) Lie about how big your dick is all the time, and about how many white women you fucked while their husbands were away at work. This way, you feel wanted by someone other than law enforcement.

2) Bounce as much as you can, bobble your head up & down and back & forth, and hold your crotch when you walk. Don't forget to lick your lips as much as possible.

3) Wear the largest clothes you can find. Wear you cap backwards or sideways. Wear a bandana underneath the cap if possible.

4) Screw as many fat negro sows as you can, this way Your illegitimate children help the mothers bleed the government dry, and you can lie to yourself about what a "playa you is".

5) Only drink malt liquor, Colt 45, or Thunderbird.

6)When you get pulled over and arrested for the trunkful of weed in your Sedan deVille, yell racism and racial profiling (even if the cop is black, he's an oreo). Make sure the Nation of Islam and the NAACP hear about your case. Don't forget the ACLU.

7) All negresses will allow their heathen children to run wild in stores and break things. When they want you to pay for the items, tell them, "you just want me to pay for that shit cuz I'm black. You'd let me go if I was white, muthafucka."

8) All negresses will converse with the black check-out clerks at the grocery store and hold up the line, especially when there's a lot of white folks behind you. Act like you can't find your money and hold up the line even further.

9) Talk about how much you hate white people with your buddies when soliciting downtown street corners, then lose all focus and hose your shorts when watching all the fine, white businesswomen walking past.

10) It doesn't matter how shitty your car is, put the biggest diameter rims on you can find, and the most expensive stereo system. Ride around in white neighborhoods at night and play rap music as loud as you can. We love the rattling trunk, we really, really do.

11) When you are at a street intersection when trying to find parking at you favorite black club, make sure you and your fellow negroes gridlock the intersection. We aren't really in a hurry to get anywhere, really we're not.

12) When going on a drive-by shooting always miss the target and hit an innocent bystander. Children are a plus.

13) Make the most annoying sounds when you laugh. Example: "KSSS SSSS SSSS SSSS!!" Scream out loud when beginning your laugh, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH, KSSSS SSSS SSSSS SSSS!!"

14) Talk as loud as you can whenever you can. Especially in libraries or theaters. Black women, this is a perfect time for you to chimp out on your "boo". Remember, white folks invented home video just because of you.

15) Black women, when going to the theater, wear the highest weave you can, and sit in front of some white people. Oh, this is the perfect time to call your homegirl if you can get reception to your cellphone.

16) When at fast-food resturaunts, hog up the front counter and take your time looking at the menu if you see white people behind you. Then, when giving your order, keep changing it around. If you work at a fast food place, take an excessively long time to get the order ready, especially for white people.

17) When at a check-out counter of any kind, try to bargain with the clerk on the price. If you can't lower the price, grab it and run.

18) Walk slow and purposely push and shove, then look at those people with disdain and smack your lips a lot.

19) When begging for money, act offended at white folks who only give you a dime or a "solid quattah" instead of a five dollar bill. This is a reasonable means to attack or mug them. When you get caught, state your reason as "dey wuz white." The media and the ACLU will come to your rescue, so don't sweat it.

20) Always whine about how the white man is keeping you down, and how you are owed slave reparations. Even though you've never been a slave and could never survive it because you're lazy.

21) Wear a lot of fake gold around your neck and fingers. Go to the dentist and get those rotten teeth replaced with gold implants. Go ahead, you know you're going to stiff the dentist. If he keeps harrassing you about the bill, call the NAACP.

22) Always talk on your cellphone when driving. Ignore red lights, ambulances, and fire trucks. If you hit someone, drive off.

23) Say stupid things like "YEEAAAAAAHHHHHH, BOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!" or "BEEEEYYYYOOOOOOTTCHHH!!!!!" Use ebonics so you don't have to sound intelligent like white folks.

24) Call the founding fathers racist slave owners so that public schools with names like 'George Washington High' or 'Thomas Jefferson High' are changed. Don't stop whining until every public school in America is named the following: 'Malcolm X High', 'Rosa Parks Middle School', 'Rodney King Elementary' and so on.

25) Burn down your own churches and cry racism. This way you can demand that the government build you a new church at taxpayers' expense, and they'll do it.

26) Spread sexually transmitted diseases (to white girls if possible) and obsessively use drugs.

27) Put your hand over your mouth and do your "human beat box" in public places so you can annoy the out of everyone.

PART II

28) Use "muthafucka" a lot when speaking, end everything with "knowwhumsain?". In certain instances, you may end sentences with "...n' shit". Knowwhumsain?

29) When the police officer hands you a ticket, tell him it's because you're black. It had absolutely nothing to do with you running the red light moments before.

30) Park you car on a college campus and vandalize it. Be sure to spray swastikas and vulgarities on the car, then tell the police you are the victim of a hate crime. Even if you are not an instructor or a student, you'll still be able to sue the school. They'll cave in because you're black.

31) Stop in the middle of the street and get out of your car when you see a homeboy of yours sitting on a curb, leave the door open and walk over and talk to your "homie". Ignore the other drivers honking their horns, they're probably just white folks anyway.

32) ALWAYS walk down the middle of the street. Never move for any oncoming vehicles. When they honk, just give them a scowl and smack your lips a lot.

33) When in a grocery store or any other store, always block the isles, especially for white people. Never move your shopping cart, and never tell your heathen children to move out of the way. Whenever possible, act like you don't see the person trying to get past.

34) Negroes are very sexual (not in a good way). anyone or anything.... men, women, children, dogs..... if it has at least one hole, anything goes. Anything to get your freak on.

35) When your girlfriend turns you in for roasting her 2 year old son in the oven, tell the police the truth.... he broke your Playstation 2. Don't worry, it should work.... you're black, after all.

36) Black women MUST have at least five kids by at least three different negroes by the age of 21, or you aren't "keepin it real".

37) Black women do not need babysitters. Tuck your eight children into bed, go out to the clubs and get drunk and "freaked" by five or six negroes. When you return home at 8:45AM, you'll find that someone ratted you out to Child Protective Services. Blame it on your skin and say, "dey tryin' to take my kids cuz I black, dawg!!"

38) Hang around gas stations and beg white people for money. Intimidation is PLAN B if they refuse. Or, cry RACISM when they kick your ass.

39)Black check-out clerks must NEVER be polite or courteous to white customers, for ANY reason. Overcharge them and keep the change, and NEVER thank them as they're leaving, only give them a dirty look.

40) Blacks should strive for at least one prison term, so you can get your proper respect from your peers. They will think you are ignorant if you try to go to college, and will think less of you. They'll call you an "oreo".

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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5970
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 01:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Be a self loathing Negro--a coon in a suit--a Black Republican--Nfts_encryption--

You forgot those
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 10954
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 02:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The truth really hurts you, doesn't it, chrishayden? Sounds like the kind of people you encounter while strolling the cracked sidewalks of St Louis' inner city.
Isn't there a distinction between being a "negro" and a "n i g g e r"? Oh, I forgot. You are the one who supplies the definitions, tailoring them to your arguments.
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5982
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 02:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Isn't there a distinction between being a "negro" and a "n i g g e r"? Oh, I forgot. You are the one who supplies the definitions, tailoring them to your arguments.

(Malcolm X said that's what they call a Negro with a PHD--
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 10961
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 03:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't care about Malcolm X sound bites. He ain't sacrosanct. The list contained in the first post is not what describes a black person with a PHD - unless of course you are stupid enough to allow white people to define you.
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Schakspir
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Schakspir

Post Number: 1206
Registered: 12-2005

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 03:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Usually n.igger check out clerks are extremely polite to white customers and exceedingly rude to blacks--I see this all the time.

Also, the above merely draws a portrait of the lower-class n.igger....what about the middle or upper-class one?
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 9759
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 05:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ntfs,

What if you do anything of what you list but are NOT Black? Because (I GUESS you'd agree that) that Black foks are NOT the only ones who engage in much of what you've posted.
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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption

Post Number: 2916
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 09:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"Because (I GUESS you'd agree that) that Black foks are NOT the only ones who engage in much of what you've posted."

ABM, you're 100% correct. Did you check the reference link I posted? It explains it all.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 10966
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 01:33 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Chris Rock's stock sky rocketed right after he included in his act, a litany about how he "loved black people, but hated n i g g a s".
The writer of this article very cleverly puts black people on the defense, making them feel indignant and obligated to excuse ignorant behavior. I never hear white folks justify the behavior of red-neck, trailer park, low-lifes by saying that black people act just as bad. They simply look down their nose at these types. The response to this article should be that stupidity comes in all colors and anybody who doesn't realize this is stupid.
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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption

Post Number: 2918
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Thursday, December 27, 2007 - 03:19 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"The writer of this article very cleverly puts black people on the defense, making them feel indignant and obligated to excuse ignorant behavior."

True......

"I never hear white folks justify the behavior of red-neck, trailer park, low-lifes by saying that black people act just as bad."

Excellent!!!! And also very true.....

"They simply look down their nose at these types."

Can't argue with that. True again...Dang Ms. Cynique, you're on a roll...!!!!

"The response to this article should be that stupidity comes in all colors and anybody who doesn't realize this is stupid."

End of subject! Well, that's a wrap on this. Subject is now closed. Next........

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