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Pandora
Newbie Poster
Username: Pandora
Post Number: 14
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 8 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 12:28 pm: | 
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Hello Everyone:
My name is Pandora. As some of you may recall, I am the daughter of Cynique, and I've come to this site to announce that my mother has appointed me to be her publicist because, after all of this time, Cynique feels the need to share all the interesting things about her thrilling life with anyone who will listen, and since this board provides such good exposure, she is taking advantage of its captive audience. Cynique knows that everyone is just dying to be told about all the praise and honors that are constantly being heaped upon her, and the books she has out, and the intimate details about her split cuticles, and, um, you know, stuff like that. So, henceforth, Cynique will be dictating to me all the latest news about her and I, in turn, will make these details available for your eager eyes. Now, for all of you in awe of Cynique, here are items on her upcoming agenda. Enjoy!
Starting off her busy schedule, will be a long-awaited appearance under the water hydrant to cool off from a heat wave that is currently wowing Chicago.
The following afternoon, by special request, she will be giving a reading of "Winnie the Pooh".
On the day after that, her plans will include providing signed copies from her checkbook for her admiring creditors.
The next evening, she will be appearing in front of her mirror, and later will be hosting a free event where she will lecture on the subject of "Everything You've Always Wanted To Know About Cynique, And Even More." Copies of her latest release "Notebook of a Black High-Yellow Red-Bone" will also be on sale at half-price in the hopes of moving 5000 units to impress a big publishing house. (Phone orders accepted. Help a sista out, y'all:1-755-555-1111).
Winding up the week, back by popular demand, Cynique will be in the shower treating fans to her inimitable rendition of "Feelings". And do keep your calendar's open for an upcoming concert where, as guest soloist, Cynique will be featured tooting her own horn. I know none of you will want to miss the date and time of this much-anticipated event, so stay tuned. And speaking of staying tuned, the dulcent tones of Cynique's voice can regularly be heard at 89.0 on your AM dial, during her frequent phone calls to this popular night-owl show.
Finally, all of her followers will be thrilled to hear that our own Cynique, who is energized by the boredom of those ol meanies who hate her, has been named to the list of the 1000 most brazen great-grandmothers. Her ongoing crusade to call attention to how stupid, disloyal, black men prefer young curvacious females to flabby older women, and how the media discriminates against senior citizens when filling leading lady roles and selecting video back-up dancers is just one of the many things that makes Cynique worthy of fame and fortune. (again, that phone number to order books is: 1-755-555-1111).
And there you have it: the round-up of what Cynique will be doing in the days to come. I know you all are breathlessly awaiting to hear what's next on Cynique's busy schedule so I will, of course, continue to post all the minutiae she dictates to me about her and her noble mission to have the world at her feet, a goal she shares with that well-known paragon of self-worship, Kola "bunions" Boof.
Happy yawning.
PANDORA
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Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4912
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 12:45 pm: |
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Only one lonely post so far. My God, Cynique. You are a glutton for punishment. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9310
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:09 pm: |
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What is there to post about, chrishayden? No response is required. Pandora has said it all, dumb-dumb. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5288
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:10 pm: |
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Oh
Pandora, Daughter of Cynique!!!
Please tell Cynique that I adore the water upon which she
And that I shall wait with bated
breath until you report her very next move.
I get crazy 
Just
about her!!!
She has the face of an
And her feet are so beautiful 
I just want to kiss them
And if you would please be so kind as to pass along these
As a token of my undying devotion and adoration of Cynique
God Bless You!!!
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Pandora
Newbie Poster
Username: Pandora
Post Number: 16
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:33 pm: |
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My mother Cynique dictated the following to me:
Dear Mzuri:
You are so perceptive and intelligent and creative! And you have such good taste. One genuine person like you is worth 10 sock puppets. I am humbled. Carry on.
All the best,
Cynique
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Brownbeauty123
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 2068
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:37 pm: |
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ROTFLMAO!!! |
Jmho
Regular Poster
Username: Jmho
Post Number: 224
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:08 pm: |
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Too funny. |
Yorubaprincess
Newbie Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 17
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:44 pm: |
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"for all of you in awe of Cynique,"
No such people exist... |
Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 958
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:02 pm: |
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Cynique trolls= JMHO an Pandora she an Mizurible have a lot of nerve to call kola liars an all being they the ones with sock puppets |
Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 959
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:04 pm: |
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Mzuri= lil_z |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5298
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:08 pm: |
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Enchanted =
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Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 961
Registered: 11-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:09 pm: |
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im not your mother Mizurible |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9311
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 04:52 pm: |
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Of course you're not, Mzuri's mother, "enchanted". You can't give birth to anything human. LMAO. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9312
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:01 pm: |
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Yorubytch says in response to the statment
for all of you in awe of Cynique:
"No such people exist..."
Cynique responds:
Yes, my daughter Pandora got carried away in her zeal to please her moms and earn her money. (I have cautioned her to cut the hype and not emulate Nofishy Gomez when she releases her next report on me.) |
Yorubaprincess
Newbie Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 33
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:03 pm: |
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You are so beautiful Connie |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9313
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:05 pm: |
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Well, I guess somebody is in awe of me after all, Lolife. snicker. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5305
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:07 pm: |
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You are much too kind Cynique. You should have called her yorumonkeybitch. I wish I still had those gorilla and orangutan pix. LOL!
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5307
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:12 pm: |
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Uh huh. Watch yorumonkeybitch start posting pix of naked white bitches. |
Yorubaprincess
Newbie Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 35
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:17 pm: |
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Naked white bitches? You mean Cynique? She is after all light bright and damned near white. But the thought of her naked is rather unpleasant |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5308
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:22 pm: |
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You know exactly what I mean you piece of shit troll. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9315
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 05:37 pm: |
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LMAO. I don't even have to make any accusations or retorts. I'll just let the bamboozled crowd wallow in the bliss of their ignorance. Pandora knew when she opened the box the trolls would descend upon the board. She is my daughter "in whom I am well-pleased". |
Renata
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 2466
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 08:25 pm: |
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In the parlance of Nom de Plume, "comedy gold!" |
Latina_wi
Regular Poster
Username: Latina_wi
Post Number: 465
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 07:10 am: |
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This thread is f'cking funny man.... |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 493
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 08:55 am: |
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LMAOSHIPM
(Laughing My Ass Off So Hard I Pissed Myself)
It don't get no better! |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 494
Registered: 05-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 09:07 am: |
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yes yes pandora i agree holehart everrthning cynique say holyw0od oberlook 0ld peepel allways sos sad |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9337
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 03:02 pm: |
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Pandora
Newbie Poster
Username: Pandora
Post Number: 17
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 02:01 pm: |
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Hello Everyone.
My mother Cynique has had an epiphany and decided that the Lord doesn't want her to tell the world every move she makes. Cynique has, instead, decided to emulate that great humanitarian Oprah who has inspired her to take up the noble cause of being a "know-it-all" who tells others the secret of being a "know-it-all". (Interrupt and talk loud.) Thanks for your time. All the best,
PANDORA..... BTW, moms, your check bounced. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5359
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 02:08 pm: |
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I   and Cynique 
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9363
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 02:30 pm: |
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You're learning fast, Mzuri! Just continue to flatter me and shield me from any criticism and you will stay in my good graces! |
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