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Sabiana
Regular Poster
Username: Sabiana
Post Number: 161
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 07:39 am: | 
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(from NPR) Movie Clip Stirs Debate over Black Relationships.
Director/Creator Tim Alexander
June 11, 2006 · A clip from the upcoming film Diary of a Tired Black Man is generating a great deal of buzz in the African-American community. The scene features a man arriving at the house of his former spouse with a new partner: a white woman.
The clip has been e-mailed around the country and featured on blogs and on nationally syndicated, black-oriented radio shows. It has sparked a heated debate over the many issues it raises, from interracial dating to whether many black women are simply "too angry" to be datable.
The clip is just three-and-a-half minutes long. But it's still enough to leave many viewers waving their hands in the air — either in agreement or frustration.
Provoking Viewers
The clip begins with an attractive black woman sitting with three friends, watching her ex-husband pull into her driveway with a white woman at his side. The women castigate the ex-husband, James, as a "weak punk" who has chosen to date outside the race rather than handle what they call a strong black woman. James blames the women for their inability to find, much less keep, a decent black man at their side — because of their penchant for drama.
First-time filmmaker Tim Alexander, who enjoys being provocative, says there's a disease out there that he calls the "angry black woman syndrome." He says it must be identified, diagnosed and treated.
Alexander believes African-American women who grew up in fatherless homes, hearing their aunts and grandmothers saying black men are no good — and hearing that opinion reinforced in the media — are now angry adult women.
"They grow up, deal with the wrong men, finally meet the right guy and don't know how to turn it off," Alexander says. "They are so used to fighting; it's the only way they know to have a relationship. So when a man is a good man, they think he's a punk."
Rekindling an Old Debate
Alexander's movie scene revives a sometimes rancorous debate that has been going on in the African-American community for decades: Why can't black men and women deal with each other in a positive way? And what does that mean for the future of the black family?
It is a burning question for many, including the callers that flooded the phone lines during Alexander's recent appearances on nationally syndicated black radio shows. When Alexander appeared on Rev. Al Sharpton's show, Keeping It Real, one female caller argued that black women's anger "generally starts from the man." A male caller countered: "When we come home, we don't need that loud-mouthed, self-sufficient, independent macho woman disagreeing with everything we say. We need kind women."
Bleak Messages About Black Relationships
African-Americans have been bombarded in recent months with negative messages about the outlook for black couples. The Washington Post fronted a weekend "Outlook" section with the headline "Marriage Is for White People," and there are many books with titles such as Black and Single. The Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies in Washington says the percentage of black women who've never married has more than doubled between 1950 and 2004.
"If you internalize that, you will enter a relationship where you are doing everything or putting up with anything just to have someone," says LaDawn Black, a Baltimore-based author and radio host. Her show deals with relationships between black men and women. She says things aren't as bad out there as one might think.
"Don't believe it," Black says, "because if you look around, you have friends having successful relationships."
UCLA professor and sex therapist Gail Wyatt agrees. She says African-American men and women have to stop allowing outdated concepts -– and media-driven angst -– to divide them.
"Our strength is in our ability to stand together," Wyatt says. "I don't care if a black man marries a black woman or not. I care if we support each other and don't buy into myths that make us look like and live like stereotypes."
There's no quick fix for the issues between African-American men and women, Wyatt says, but she believes they can be solved. Filmmaker Tim Alexander says he hopes his movie sparks a discussion that can bring some change and healing to the black community.
Watch it here..http://youtube.com/watch?v=1HVcFyF-mco
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So what do you guys think? Is it open season of Black Women again? I don't agree with the stigma that all black women are angry, (which the director claims he is not shooting for, but I do like the questions the movie has raised.)
My problem is the Tim Alexander "glosses" over why Black Women are angry-with some simple kind of "well, see, in past relationships....." does not explain the complexities.
In one of his interviews, which you can find here, I think his views are more clarified. http://www.blackpodcasts.net/mediaplayers/player.aspx?podcastid=35665
******People, please don't turn this into a Black Men/ Black Women bashing thread. Can we please have a positive discussion? Hopefully this will not turn nasty. (*Crossing fingers SS won't go on a tirade.....****)
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Sabiana
Regular Poster
Username: Sabiana
Post Number: 162
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 07:42 am: |
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*Tim Alexander's wife is a black woman, by the way. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4909
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 12:40 pm: |
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So what do you guys think? Is it open season of Black Women again?
(Again? When did it ever cease?) |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2388
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:59 pm: |
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"So what do you guys think? Is it open season of Black Women again?"
Nope! It has nothing to do with open season on anyone. Tim Alexander is illuminating something that is real and should be discussed because of it's real world implications and consequences. It's just frustration, disappointment and disillusionment on both sides. It's just a perspective coming from a black man this time.
Anyone who is involved in the so-called dating-mating game knows that it can be a daunting and very discouraging experience. It's difficult enough to meet someone you are comfortable and compatible with without throwing in the race element. You can hear cynicism and disappointment coming from black women (which is valid) and frustration and bathos from black men (which is well documented). It's just a very unfortunate situation.
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Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 960
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:07 pm: |
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he not tired of black women he wont say what hes really tired of so he blame it on black women, but black men arent tirefd of black women. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2390
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:43 pm: |
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"he not tired of black women he wont say what hes really tired of so he blame it on black women, but black men arent tirefd of black women."
Whatever........Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Yorubaprincess
Newbie Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 26
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 04:06 pm: |
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Black women sometimes are angry.
But a lot of black men are not only angry (hence them committing a lot of crazy crimes) but also somewhat dick-led (insist on screwing anything that moves) as well as quite unmotivated much of the time.
All the faults that black women have are at least matched by the negative traits in many black men.
I mean - dayum - at least black women are doing good education and career wise. At least they're getting something right. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 484
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, July 21, 2007 - 10:32 pm: |
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He's a fuckin' hypocrite! He sh*ts on black women who have children out of wedlock, berates black men who breed women without marrying them, then he tells the board that one of the female members is pregnant for him with twins. She has two children from two different men, and mind you, he said that he "will marry her eventually". Man, you should have seen the uproar caused on his board. He had to shut it down temporarily. LOL! Please. None of these losers have a right to talk about black women. |
Renata
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 2474
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 22, 2007 - 12:45 am: |
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Thank you, Fortified!!! These women who are having children out of wedlock.....ain't having them with other women. I don't want a man with 5 kids out of wedlock, either. Who is he kidding? |
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