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Sabiana
Regular Poster
Username: Sabiana
Post Number: 148
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 04:06 pm: | 
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Timely Tips for Time-Outs
By Judy Arnall
Tired of holding the bedroom door handle closed when your child is trying to leave during a time-out? Fed up with your child’s trashing his room during time-out? Frustrated because you can’t get your child to calm down and think about restitution during his time-out?
Perhaps it’s time to re-think the way a time-out is used. Some parents use a time-out for punishment, and it often erupts into a power struggle. Originally, a time-out consisted of removing the child from a positive situation. However, often the child is acting up or blowing up because of the negative emotions he’s feeling. The emotions are not generated from an environment of pleasantness — but rather, a negative situation is occurring.
For example, a child is fighting with a sibling and is feeling angry. He hits the brother because he is feeling angry and frustrated. Removal from a negative situation is what a child often needs, but he also needs help to calm down. So ideally, a time-out should not be a punishment but instead a calming-down strategy for an upset child. Many parents call this child directed time-out, a “time-in.”
Adults often take time-outs for themselves when they are angry and frustrated. They go for a walk, blow off steam at the racquetball court or just stay in their rooms and listen to a soothing piece of music. The time-out is a useful skill to teach your children, but the way that it is used is a big factor in achieving the results that you desire.
You want your children to think a time-out is a great idea, not something to be dreaded. The parent-directed time-out is used as a punishment and is not recommended. If you want a great way to calm down your children, focus them on their emotions, actions and restitution, and connect your parent-child relationship in the process, try the child-directed time-out.
© Judy Arnall
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Okay, I DID NOT get Time-Outs for being a bad ass when I was child, rather a quick slap on the behind.
So how do ( Or did) you discipline your children? (for parents) Do you believe that "hitting" your child is wrong?
For me it depends. I'm a little torn.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9266
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 09:18 pm: |
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I certainly didn't get time-outs when I was a child, either. I would get whacked for misbehaving. To me, spanking my kids was always too much work, so I would give them tongue lashings and to this day they still quote some of the things I said to them. Nowadays, I leave the disciplining of kids up to their parents. I have found that ignoring little monsters seems to challenge them and they eventually try to gain my attention by acting civil. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4879
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 13, 2007 - 12:09 pm: |
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I think you discipline kids differently. Some you only need to talk to. Others you can ground or withold favors.
Others frankly need to be beaten and terrorized into submission--but you gotta do it with love and only after repeated warnings that this is going to happen. |
Libralind2
Veteran Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 886
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 13, 2007 - 07:39 pm: |
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I think ALL kids need to be BEAT at sometime in they little lives..LOL
LiLi |
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