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Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 406
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:26 pm: | 
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A friend is writing a magazine feature about the increasing # of black American men who wind up with white women. So far she has spoken with brothas who say they'll date white but their preference is sistas, and brothas who brag about the fact that they wouldn't date a sista even if somebody paid them to.
She put up two fake ads on a popular website. One ad was a white woman, attractive, educated, in her 30s and looking for a man of any race. The other ad was a black woman with the same stats, also looking for a man of any race. Neither of the ads included photos. My friend sat back and watched the responses pour in. In total, I think, around 50 black men responded. Of those, 39 responded to the white woman. The other 11 responded to the black woman. The black men who responded to the black woman's ad seemed to be less educated (judging by bad grammar, atrocious spelling and sentences like "so I can holla at you shorty"). |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1485
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:29 pm: |
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That's a shame. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3342
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:32 pm: |
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You don't even want those sorry losers anyway.
Why are you complaining? They are just some creeps who are going to wind up on a police blotter. Let white women have them! |
Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 408
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:34 pm: |
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You don't even want those sorry losers anyway.
Why are you complaining? They are just some creeps who are going to wind up on a police blotter. Let white women have them!
You're right, Mr CH. I'm married now. But if my marriage ever (God forbid) broke down, I genuinely fear that no other black man would be interested in marrying my decidedly non-mixed black ass! |
Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 410
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:40 pm: |
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Here's one of the replies she received. Hahahaha
"A Sagittarius, I was also born to love, to make love, to feel love, to breed babies, especially with beautiful young Goddesses. I am not into the conformities of society" |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7568
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:43 pm: |
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Lola,
Uhhhhh...genius? Perhaps it never occurred to you that part of the reason why more Black men responded to the add for the White chick than they did for the Black chick because it's much EASIER for them to meet Black women sans a personal add than it is for them to meet White women.
Truth is, most of those guys are already dating and boning sistas and are just using the ads to broaden the tint of the population of their potential fuhkbuddies. |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1684
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:52 pm: |
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Abm:
"....and are just using the ads to broaden the tint of the poplulation...."
Moonsigns:
LMAO! I couldn't agree more! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7573
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:57 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
It's funny. Black chicks live all their lives with brothas and yet many of them quite stubbornly refuse to attempt to understand what/how a brotha operates.
I hope you're schooling your daughters. |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1685
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:07 pm: |
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Abm:
"I hope you're schooling your daughters."
Moonsigns:
Likewise.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7575
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:09 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
EH-VAH-REE-DAY!!!
And I pray to the Good LAWD everynight it sticks. |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1687
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:26 pm: |
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Abm,
^^^^^^^Ditto! |
Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 414
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:37 pm: |
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Don't worry Abm, Destined is doing a wonderful job with them. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7582
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:41 pm: |
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Lola,
Indeed. It's ME she still gottah do A LOT of work on. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 421
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 09:22 pm: |
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Are you actually surprised by the results of this "test"? LMAO!! |
Dahomeyahosi
Regular Poster
Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 130
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 09:31 pm: |
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Lola if your marriage did end would you limit your possibilities to black men? Are you speaking of black men in general or Nigerian men? I would be with anyone who shares my cultural background and basic beliefs and I don't care if the person is West African or Navajo. |
Libralind2
Regular Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 432
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 10:16 pm: |
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Eastwest and Lola are the same person..I say again
LiLi |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7612
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 11:15 am: |
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Dahomeyahosi,
Who OTHER than someone from your particular area of West Africa WOULD share your cultural background? |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3798
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 11:30 am: |
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ABM, she means any West African really, because that's like saying a Black in Philadelphia doesn't share the cultural background of a black in Memphis.
They really do, though they have slight differences.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7621
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 11:45 am: |
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Kola,
Okay. I could see that though I guess I would expect there to be some significant differences between, say, foks from Ghana and those from Angola.
So Dahomeyahosi's essentially limiting her mating population to natives of West Africa or those would have a decidely West African perspective (e.g., children of West African natives). |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3802
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 11:59 am: |
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What's funny, ABM.
I am now so culturally "Black American" that it's extremely difficult for me to have a successful dalliance with an Arab-speaking black man from East or North Africa....and to a much lesser extent, West African men.
If I get into a black man lately, he is usually an Islander (Jamaica) or from Nigeria/Senegal/Ghana and ACTS LIKE (imitates) a Black American man.
The "real" Black American men either don't have any interest in me--or--they tend to "romantize" me to the point where I'm a MUSE or something and have to not see them anymore for fear of letting them down once they discover I'm just a "black chick".
But I find myself experiencing this thing where I'm MOST COMPATIBLE with Black American men.
I have come to realize that I've been looking for a Black American man because of how I was raised--though I was always too much for them.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7625
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 12:09 pm: |
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Kola,
I don't follow your "What's funny, ABM.". Is that a question or a prelude to what followed?
And the way you describe your own desires and experiences, it would seem nearly impossible for you to find a good match with ANY man at all. |
Dahomeyahosi
Regular Poster
Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 138
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 09:30 pm: |
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ABM I have met Asians, American Indians, central, and southern Africans who have the same essential beliefs as I do. My best friend is Tuscarora and we have a lot in common but certainly no shared ancestry. |
Yukio
Veteran Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1538
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 11:11 am: |
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abm your brilliance is something to be studied! I am taking notes! |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3828
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 11:28 am: |
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ABM, I don't know why you said that.
I find that I am compatible with almost ANY man from anywhere, truth be told...if only from my ability to learn, study and accept other people's cultural/sociological backgrounds.....and then also, my genuine liking for men.
I would make a SPLENDED wife to an Irishman, an Italian, a Black American, a Nigerian, a Belizean (which I did), a Japanese, a Mexican and 70% of White American men.
But first...the man has to allow it.
I don't think I could be wife to an Ethiopian or Somali, though.
But for the most part...I am extremely compatible with most men that I meet. My problem has been them accepting my career and the "image" of that career---but men generally really like me.
Seriously.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7690
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:42 pm: |
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Dahomeyahosi,
Perhaps I'm being a tad anal about definitions. But when I think of the term CULTURE, I recall the results of people having a shared ethnicity/ancestry, geography, history, etc.
I agree folks can be from opposite ends of the globe yet have very similar mores, beliefs and social practices. But I would NOT say they have the same CULTURE. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3835
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:49 pm: |
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ABM's right.
Dahomeyahosi, who I genuinely like, admire and respect...is being ELITIST, ABM....and I'm extremely familiar with this type of thinking, but the fact that she's here, is proof that she is open to realizing some other truths.
I also detect HURT in her from prolonged unkindness and rejection of black people in this country and in this culture (for instance, this culture in America as a culture doesn't like the looks of West African women).
But I also know as a CUSHITE that a person from ASIA would rather marry an African of some "lineage" than a Black American, because they see it as "slave stock"--being with "breeding and bearing". ELITISM.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7691
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:52 pm: |
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Kola,
I think you'd make A LOT of men a very wonderful wife and life partner. But, as you allude to, there is A LOT going on within and about you. And it'll take a uniquely mature and self-possessed man to navigate the winding, tumultuous, fiery and yet profoundly journey that is Kola Boof. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3837
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:56 pm: |
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True ABM.
Since you put it like that,then I agree 100% that I may not ever find a husband, maybe because I'm not...available...but only think I am.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7692
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:58 pm: |
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Kola,
I recall Dahomeyahosi saying her Japanese husband used her being native African to justify is marrying a Black women. I wonder how she responded to her discovery of that.
But then, again...I don't. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7693
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 01:02 pm: |
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Kola,
Well. Honestly, ask yourself this: Can I really want the man who would and could accept everything about me?
I'm not sure you could.
And this is not at all a come problem amongst women, especially many Black ones. The only thing that's unique about your situation is the unique complexities of what you've got going on. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7694
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 01:09 pm: |
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Kola,
I agree the sentiments Dahomeyahosi expresses about African Americans is likely the result of her feeling rejected or belittled by us. She probably feels that way as a result of her individual experiences as well as how AA's often appear to think of and treat Africans as a whole.
And I think it's safe for me to say that most of us here appreciate her visiting this site to attempt to better understand us and to reconcile what she thinks and feels.
Much of this is about ego and hurt feelings that both African and African Americans would do well to disabuse themselves of. Because, in the end, the worlds a very small place. And is getting smaller everyday.
Yes we are different in many respects. But we're also very much the same. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3840
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 01:22 pm: |
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ABM, I just love you so much as my brother and in my heart...I see you as myself, completely.
I feel that way about almost every AA that I've gotten to know.
As I tell Black Americans all the time:
"we are much...of the same muchness"
And let's not forget that our ancestors--both in Africa and in American slavery---would cry with joy to know that we are together again and through technology have been reunited.
This was their prayer.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7697
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 01:40 pm: |
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Kola: ""we are much...of the same muchness""
That sounds like a good new playah-playah line to work on Destined tonite.
THANKS!!! |
Dahomeyahosi
Regular Poster
Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 142
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 08:20 pm: |
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Yes I have been hurt by black Americans and it is tempting to hurt back but I don't think I do. But I honestly think I reserve hatred/deep dislike for one group of people. Kola I was directed to this site by IsisNambi who posts on another message bord. She also led me to your books and I read because I couldn't believe how politically incorrect you were and how wild your life has been. I like this board. I can have a discussion here without losing my job. mashada, nigeriansinamerica, and seneweb are also nice. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3881
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 08:24 pm: |
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Dahomeyahosi,
I'm so glad that you came here...and I hope that I haven't let you down, because everything that I do as an artist is for women like you.
The problem is, you can never be PERFECT, and I'm not even sane truth be told.
But I have love and truth and "veils".
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Dahomeyahosi
Regular Poster
Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 149
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 08:35 pm: |
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Honesty never lets me down. I love you because you are honest and raw with everything. I hope you never back down from telling the truth because it seems that perfection always has to be projected but perfection does not exist.
I don't think any real woman is sane in this world. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3991
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 - 01:01 pm: |
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Dahomeyahosi,
Thank you so much for that affirmation. It's rare that I receive such and it definitely helps one to regenerate.
I AM human after all. 
You're so right about women and THIS world.
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