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Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1543
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:58 am: | 
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Not just US inner city kids who fall prey to the "bling" afterall...
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200612/omag_200612_mission.jhtml
WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE
Here we go again in this crazy season of wishes and expectations. Pressure to give and receive—and spend until you wish you hadn't. It's a part of the culture we need to change, or we'll all pay a price for mindless giving.
Four years ago, you may remember, I went to South Africa to bring gifts to 50,000 children, many of whom had never received a present in their lives. It was the best Christmas I've ever had. During that time, I adopted ten children, ages 7 to 14, who had no parents or family to take care of them. They were living in four separate households, trying to fend for themselves. This is happening all over Africa.
I knew I couldn't save all the children. But I could manage to stay personally engaged with these ten. I enrolled them in a private boarding school and hired caretakers to look after them. Every Christmas I returned with gobs of presents. This past year, I bought them a big house and hired a decorator to personalize each of their bedrooms.
These are children who come from the most dire backgrounds. Thanda was 14 when I found her in a small shack taking care of her 8-year-old sister. She had to walk a mile for water. So many children have similar stories. But now Thanda and her sister are living in a big house in a beautiful community where they have been embraced by the neighbors. They have a normal life—playing soccer, taking acting classes, dance classes, you name it. Two of my girls just went to their first prom in a limo, no less. Their lives are so much better than when I found them. But this summer when I went to visit, I was in for a shock.
I walked in and surprised them—they had no idea I was coming. I found them all at the homework table off the kitchen, doing their work. That's a good thing. But when I sat them down in the living room for a conversation, everyone's cell phone kept going off—the latest "razor" phone that costs about $500. And the inner spark I was used to seeing in their eyes was gone, replaced by their delight in their rooms full of things. Most of the girls had long, braided hair extensions flowing down their backs—too much hair under baseball caps shading their eyes. No one felt comfortable enough to speak. And they could barely look me in the eye. I think they felt embarrassed. They could talk about what they owned—the latest portable PlayStations, iPods, and sneakers—but they couldn't speak of what they'd done.
I asked all the children, "On a scale of one to ten, where are you in your work level at school?" Nobody said ten. "Are you doing your best?" Nobody said yes.
I knew immediately that I'd given them too much, without instilling values to accompany the gifts. All kids want what other kids have—but it can't be given with abandon. That's a big lesson for me, coming not a moment too soon before I open my school, which will be home to 450 girls, future leaders of South Africa. I want to give them the opportunity of a lifetime. But I also want them to understand the value of that opportunity and not take it for granted.
What I now know for sure is that a gift isn't a gift unless it has meaning. Just giving things to people, especially children, creates the expectation of more things.
So instead of having a big Christmas with piles of presents for my ten this year, I'm having each of them choose a family that is where they were four years ago, and we'll do something wonderful for that family—pay it forward. You're never too young to get the lesson.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7559
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 12:31 pm: |
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I'm just amazed by the audacity of Oprah lamenting the very culture of consumerism that she has greatly contributed to over the last +20 years. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6574
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 12:52 pm: |
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My observation on this subject is that well-off kids are also very materialistic particularly because they harbor a sense of entitlement. Or do they necessarily hunger for an education or tend to have the potential to be outstanding scholars. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1683
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 12:53 pm: |
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This is what parents learn all the time. You try to buy your kids everything you think they wan because you think it will make them happy, and they just get bored and want it bigger, better, faster. There are parents who get better jobs...and never see their kids.....but buy them expensive stuff... She's just going through typical parenthood stuff. Well, not "typical". She doesn't have to stay to hear them screaming and fighting over a borrowed sweater or someone using all the shampoo. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2865
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:23 pm: |
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Oprah knows nothing for sure. She's clueless when it comes to matters that are "real." She created the very monsters that she bemoans and now she wants to teach these ten adopted children about values.
Must I say it again?!
If Oprah doesn't want people to be materialistic then she needs to stop pimping and pushing useless consumer products and fashion statements upon everyone.
My Hope In A Jar is in a 6 oz. container of Nivea creme.
It's probably too simple a concept for her to grasp, because SHE'S CLUELESS!!! And she is doing more harm than good.
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3931
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:26 pm: |
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We all feel a certain way, so we all understand how she FEELS....
Her latest controversy, however, was not about how she feels; it was what she SAID…. It was about the fact that she’s in a position where her words carry a lot of weight…. They can impact the lives of others and possibly even her own. But apparently she still doesn’t get it, uh-uh, not that lesson.
But now Thanda and her sister are living in a big house in a beautiful community where they have been embraced by the neighbors. They have a normal life—playing soccer, taking acting classes, dance classes, you name it.
Oh Really? Is that how we define "a NORMAL life."
...Or is that how a small segment of THE WORLD’s society define it?
...Not to be a stickler about every word she says because who doesn’t want to see an Authentic Black woman rise, but somebody needs to put a stop to this woman…for her own CREDIBILITY, her own good.... She's not Rosie.. she's better than that.. (we thought). |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1680
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:52 pm: |
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Oprah has worked hard to achieve the success she enjoys. And she, UNLIKE so many other celebs (black and non-black), puts her money where her mouth is. I see nothing wrong with her enjoying what she can afford and, in the process, mentor other young minds to do the same.
Life is a delicate balance, and Oprah works just as hard as she plays.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7565
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:00 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
I believe if Oprah had kids of her own she MIGHT have a perspective about them that all her millions can never provide for her. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1685
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:08 pm: |
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I'm not going to criticze what she's doing until I help some poor children and do a better job at it. As long as people like us clearly don't care enough to do ANYTHING at all, we're not in a place to criticize her when she's trying to do something to help someone.
We're not in any position to fall from grace.....when we're sitting on our asses. We can only try to trip those who stand. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3932
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:13 pm: |
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..And maybe one way to trip those who stand is to offer zero criticism... the oldest trick in the world. |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1682
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:14 pm: |
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Abm,
Do you think Oprah would be a good parent?
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1686
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:21 pm: |
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Tonya, I don't blame her for not accepting criticism from people. On this board alone we have had discussions saying we don't feel the need to help anyone in Africa at all. We're hardly who she should listen to on how she should help them. It would be just as well with us if she never set foot on Africa and just married a white guy and gave him half of her money. |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1546
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:27 pm: |
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>>Off topic<<
Renata, how are you doing? |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2869
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:27 pm: |
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Oprah has worked hard?!?!?!? LOLOLOL. Right. Holding a microphone and expressing your opinions is real tedious backbreaking labor!!! Get real MoonSigns. I'm starting to think you're out of touch.
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Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1486
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:30 pm: |
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And you are the same person who said that 50 cent was a hard worker and smart. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3935
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:33 pm: |
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Reneta:
"On this board alone we have had discussions saying we don't feel the need to help anyone in Africa at all"
Who are the WE on this board who said such? Pray tell. I think it's only fair that you must, instead of linking us all together under THAT assertion.
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1691
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:44 pm: |
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Fair enough, Tonya. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1692
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:45 pm: |
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Yvette, I feel better. Low blood pressure, low sugar, somewhat dehydrated, low iron. But it's getting better now.
Thanks for asking. |
Troy
Regular Poster
Username: Troy
Post Number: 485
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:47 pm: |
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I agree with all of ABM's comments.
However that does not mean that I would rather Oprah stop doing what she is doing and keep all of her money to herself.
I think it is better that she provides a handful of kids the opportunity for a better life than to do nothing at all.
Renata, you may not want to criticize Oprah, but that does not mean that no one should. All of us can learn from something from someone else.
Oprah literally has an unimaginable amount of money. Oprah’s contributions are actually less impressive, than the grandmother who supports the local church through tithing; when you look at it on a relative basis. Oprah can walk down the street an ignore a million dollar bill in the same way that most of us would not bother to pick up a penny laying in a puddle of dirty water.
I’m glad there is an Oprah – even though I may disagree with a lot of what she does. …but also probably explains why her net worth is 1,000 times mine.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7571
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:51 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
Not at this point. She's got too much going on with her. And she's become to dayam self-aggrandizing. That's the kind of shyt that would probably wreck a kid, ESPECIALLY a daughter. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 7572
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:55 pm: |
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Troy,
I think was Oprah's doing in Africa is WONDERFUL. I don't begrudge it one iota. And I do NOT think it fair to require her to limit her largesse and goodwill to the problems of African Americans.
My ONLY caveat about that particular issue is she could/should have done such WITHOUT slamming African American students. Because, really, comparing the kids here to those in Africa is like comparing biplanes with F-16's.
They live in very DIFFERENT circumstances. |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1686
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:24 pm: |
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Mzuri:
"I'm starting to think you're out of touch."
Moonsigns:
That is surprising, considering that Oprah's material wealth didn't "just happen"! Much of her young life, as a little girl and young adult, was a struggle --sexual abuse, problems with her biological parents, broken relationships with men, and weight issues. However, she worked hard, completed a college degree, and went on to build a media empire. That's HUGE --and such a prime example of sheer determination and hard work! And the empire she worked hard to build funds the dreams and goals of many underpriviledged black youth whose life "story" mirrors her own. Therefore, that is why I respect her and the (hard) work she does -and continues to do. She "gives back" and in a very positive way that truly makes a difference!
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6585
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:54 pm: |
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I agree, Troy. What's so great about a billionaire doing good when it involves no sacrifice on her part! As I said in an earilier thread, it's the people who don't have a lot who give to those who have less who are the true humanitarians, as well as those with fortunes who donate money anonymously. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2876
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 04:00 pm: |
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Thanks for the bio, Moonsigns, but we really have no way to confirm what happened during Oprah's childhood. Public figures have a tendency to embellish their résumés in order to make themselves more interesting (I'm not saying that she did, just that I don't necessarily believe everything that people say about themselves).
It's also my understanding that Oprah dropped out of college in her sophomore year in order to pursue her television career, so it wasn't as if she worked her way thru college or that she had any significant measure of stick-to-itiveness during her youth. But that's neither here nor there. Oprah got lucky, took advantage of some breaks, and she filled a void in the entertainment industry. I respect her accomplishments as well, but I don't worship her. She is afterall, just a woman.
Again, to say that Oprah obtained her success thru hard work is an overstatement. Oprah's been riding a wave. Madame C.J. Walker obtained her success thru hard laborious backbreaking sweaty menial work. There's obviously a difference in what you and I consider to be "hard."
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6586
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 04:27 pm: |
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Right, Mzuri. And Oprah is not that self-made. She had a lot of people who helped her rise above her sordid life, most importantly a father. She was at the right place at the right time when opportunity came her way, but it wasn't that she was so extraordinary prepared or talented, it was because she was black and she was a woman. She gives back, yes, but how much does this have to do with the fact that such generosity provides her with tax-write-offs? I don't want to totally dog the woman out but there are a lot of people who start out like she did but who don't make it because they were not lucky enough to have a support group. What turns me off about Oprah is that she has an inflated opinion of herself. But that's to be expected of a person who has achieved success.
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3939
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 05:46 pm: |
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One of my biggest gripes about it all is that her attitude and some of what she said make it seems like she wishes to help Americanize a culture that she views as abNORMAL. And that's just taking classism to a whole ‘nother level. It's no less condescending than the attitudes of colonizers and conquerors of any era. |
Tropical_storm
Regular Poster
Username: Tropical_storm
Post Number: 77
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 06:43 pm: |
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I too find Oprah's attitude towards South Africa to be a bit condescending.
On one episode of her show she talked about not eating meat while in South Africa because she wasn't "sure" about the meat there.
In recent interviews highlighting her new school she made repeated references to ensuring the "safety" of all her celeb friends going into and leaving South Africa.
I also hate how she ALWAYS says "AFRICA" when referencing South Africa.
She definitely has issues. I felt almost embarrassed for her when Liya Kebede was on her show and Oprah was drooling over the incredible beauty of Ethiopian women when it was painfully obvious to everyone watching that these women look like the exact opposite of Oprah.
I appreciate beauties of all variety but Oprah was taking it a little too far. |
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