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Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3267
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 12:08 pm: | 
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Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Missouri -
If your local Dairy Queen(Ellington-"Queen-Way") ( or Dairy Shack as Eminence would call it ) is closed from November
through March, you might live in Missouri .
If someone in a store offers you assistance &
they don't work there, you might live in Missouri .
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Missouri .
If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the
same time, you might live in Missouri .
If your town has an equal number of bars and
churches, you might live in Missouri .
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation
with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Missouri .
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:
1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70 or
I-44 for the weekend but you never leave the state.
2. You measure distance in ½ days.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer
more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same
day and back again.
5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social
events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know
how to use them.
9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit
over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter,
winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a
statue of a deer next to a blue spruce.
13. "Down south" means the boot hill of
Missouri .
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate
his new pole shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than
your car.
18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."
19. You know the difference between corn and soy
beans at a glance.
20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is
because you know that East St. Louis is not in
Missouri .
21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet
above sea level.
22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of
home without their being road construction.
23. You don't believe it until you see it.
24. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Missouri friends.
What's not to understand?
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2724
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 12:44 pm: |
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Uh huh. And if you eat bacon on top of your sausage sammich - yo ass is definitely from Missouri!  |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3269
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 01:09 pm: |
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Only if it is between two biscuits and you have some gravy to sop. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6410
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 01:38 pm: |
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Thanks for posting your resume, chrishayden. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3274
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:00 pm: |
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And I'm fit as a fiddle and ready for love! |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2730
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:21 pm: |
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What Ever!
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6415
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:42 pm: |
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LMAO. Ribbit. |
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