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Kola
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Post Number: 1248
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 02:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am sick and on medication that makes me dizzy...so I will do this in sections.


FIRST UP:

Lambd did not tell me that he LIVES with a woman already.

And it didn't help that she came back to D.C. UNEXPECTEDLY the night of our date.


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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 02:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm sorry!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I REALLY am!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 02:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "Lambd! Who the f@#$ is she? I thought you said you didn't have a woman."

Lambd: "Say Kola baby. You misunderstood. I didn't say I didn't 'HAVE' a woman. I said I didn't HAVE a woman...with me right NOW."
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 02:58 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

OK.

I stayed at the CROWN PLAZA HOTEL in Washington, D.C. and it was marvelous-----although, I do have to complain about the high cost of eating in the hotel's restaurant. The breakfast was $17 and it was NASTY. Rubber pancakes and cold eggs, bad coffee and fake bacon. I was just too polite.

They charged me $23 for lunch---all I had was two small crab cakes on a piece of spinach!

ANYWAY:

It rained terribly on the Friday night of the Book Signing.

LAMBD arrived early and he was so handsome and such a gentleman. He told me that I looked "Beautiful"---however, I got the impression that he wasn't too happy that I've lost about 15 pounds since he last saw me. He asked, "What happened to that fat booty you had at UDC?"

It was fun.

___________

NOTE:

Although Lambd grew up in the same Anacostia Ghetto in S.E. Washington that I grew up in....he is now far more "Upper Middle Class" than anyone of us would imagine. I had no idea about what he does or how secure he is.

AND...I had no idea about his cute girlfriend (she's very pretty, a Kola Boof fan and dark brown like me).

Anyway, I found out about her after Lambd picked me up and his cell phone kept ringing and ringing on our way to the signing.

Apparently---his girlfriend of 3 years came home unexpectedly from being out of town--and I can't tell everything---but Lambd and I basically spent the next 5 hours together at the book signing, but DID NOT have dinner as we'd planned.

The rain storm made the signing itself a BUST as only 2 people showed up!!

It was in a Mall, though, so I worked the passerbys and managed to sell 20 copies with the help of my brother, Gerald pitching to people----and my fan Tiye who stayed and pitched to people----while Lambd, during the 4 hours, had to go back home (which was right down the street) and MAKE LOVE to his girlfriend to prove that everything's ok before returning to the store. It was a trip.......and very much like the ABM/Destined fiasco...I felt very bad about myself and was on my own.





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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Sorry your signing and Lambd date whirled down the crapper.

Well...

At least you sold a few books. ("YIPEE!")

And you helped get 'Lady Lambd' laid. Your pro-sistahgurl spirit should at least appreciate that.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

HAHAHAHA!!!

A "...ABM/Destined fiasco..." indeed.
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The Washington Post, once again, did not carry the notice of my signing in the Calendar section of EVENTS----so I was pissed about that.

Lambd, was wonderful. He acted as my personal bodyguard for the 5 hours we were together, basically intimidating people with height and muscles.

I forgave him about having a girlfriend--as I'm still in love with Thomas and not as close to Lambd as I am to say, ABM----but still, it hurt my feelings, and I was polite and very sorry for what his girlfriend must NOW think of me---apparently LAMBD has all my books on his coffee table in the livingroom.

Lambd brought me back to my hotel after the signing and we had a long, long HUG on the curb outside (they only allow Valet parking) before saying goodbye.

I came inside the lobby---it was about 9:50 pm----and I felt very down, because I had to call my Publishers in Cali and tell them that I had only sold 20 books.....they paid $2,000 to send me to Washington. Anyway, thankfully, they took it well.

THEN, the Front Desk called me.......


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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "THEN, the Front Desk called me......."

(As the "Psycho" theme music play in the background...)
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There was a gentleman at the desk with flowers and wanting to see "Kola Boof" they said----he had given a description of a tall, black woman writer from Africa and told them I might be registered at the hotel as "Naima"....and they DEDUCED it might be me.

I came down to meet the man---it was a famous Black Writer who made me promise not to reveal his name in "The Kool Room" since he comes here sometimes. I think he's gay, but anyway, he gave me a bouquet of gorgeous white Tulips---he was incredibly kind and took me to dinner in the hotel's restaurant. We chatted for about 90 minutes.

In the meantime, the 6 people who work the Front Desk had looked up "Kola Boof Naima" on the internet and found out who I was.

So when I came back, they (5 of whom were black, 3 of them African) were really excited. I went up to my room and came back and gave them all free copies of "Flesh and the Devil", signed them and spent an hour answering their questions. One of them---"Kalala" was a journalist from CONGO working as a porter in the hotel. He was quite intelligent and had very strong questions. Another guy, a 20-something black American named "IKE" and I became instantly attracted to each other...he was almost charcoal colored and mean looking, brooding, but lightened up considerably once I called him "handsome" and wrote while signing his book---"to Ike, who's so handsome and kind, thanx Kola Boof---and then he asked if I was single and I lied that I wasn't, out of fear, but then a few minutes later told the truth when the lone White girl (and boss) asked me something about my "husband"---anyway, the desk people really, really liked me and by the next day....word had spread that Kola Boof was at the Crown Plaza, draped glamorously across the front desk in a flowing silk robe.

A reporter from the Washington Times arrived.

...
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh...

Chris Stevenson, my handsome friend from the Buffalo Times couldn't make it to Washington to see me, because of the weather.

So that was LAMBD and Chris both DOWN.

Anyway...as you're about to see...BLACK MEN still ended up showing me the time of my life.


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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 03:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well...I should go back and explain that IKE asked to have a late night "coffee" with me after his shift ended and I agreed to it.

He got off at 12 midnight and I came back down to have coffee with him. I learned he's only 23 (he looked 19), and although I didn't tell him, his age made it impossible for me to feel comfortable flirting with him---but he turned out to be very smart and we had some INTENSE disagreements about culture and identity and I picked his "insecurity" regarding his color apart----he was extremely dark skinned,mind you, but also extremely handsome and was very apologetic and uptight about "color", so this lead to painful discourse between us.

Anyway, I left him at about 2 am....and then my FAN from the book signing, "Tiye", who is a MALE from Nigeria called my hotel room (I had agreed to see him at my hotel on Saturday for breakfast)....wanting to know if he could drive me down to Virginia, to go fishing at a place that I'm very familiar with and that we'd talked about.

I agreed to go fishing in Virginia and then ordered up a Vodka straight to knock me out.

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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Because I went to bed with a Vodka Friday night---I was dismayed to be woken up so early on Saturday morning with the news that I had agreed to do a RADIO INTERVIEW in London that morning and was scheduled to appear on PBS in Washington for BOOK TV.

As well, I had no idea that a News Story had been printed about me--a 3 year old article REPRINTED mysteriously--in the NIGERIAN GUARDIAN (see "Friday Review") just the night before:

http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/

And that another article calling me "Bin Laden's SLAVE" had been published in the widely read SUNDAY INDEPENDENT in South Africa (scroll down in BOOKS section):

http://www.sundayindependent.co.za/index.php?fSectionId=1085&fSetId=548




I was very glum and sad and for some reason---I let the interviewer get away with picking on me during the London Interview. A phone caller even remarked that I wasn't the "usually quick, smarty-mouthed Kola Bitch" that Londoners "know and love".

I just didn't feel like fighting. And after the interview and the Host praising "Flesh and the Devil"----I had to get up and shower to go out with Tiye.

_____________

At 9 am, Tiye took me on a small "sharecropper's" airplane and we flew down to the Tidewater Bay to fish and crab.

He made us an African breakfast of fried pan fish, fried crab legs and grits with yam and radishes in them. We had tea.

Unfortunately, I was very sad and not very good company.

We came down off the pier and went for a walk, looking for fish bubbles along the banks, and because of the previous storm---it was very muddy and I ended up slipping and sliding down into the bay water. Luckily, I'm a good swimmer and I got myself together.

But I also had a slight fever when I got out of the water.

----------


Tiye brought me back to the hotel, and because of the strong windy air during the flight in the tiny sharecropping plane....I was bloated and very ill when we landed in Washington.


And waiting for me.....was a man I will just call "Cheshire"

...a tall goodlooking lightskinned Morehouse Graduate and EXECUTIVE at Lexxus Motors who had a business proposition for Kola Boof...



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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I told "Cheshire Cat"---our smooth lightskinned dude from Lexus Motors that I couldn't have "brunch" with him----he countered that he was interested in sending Kola Boof on a nationwide book tour in exchange for me allowing myself to be SPONSORED by one of the companies he represents....so it turned out he was an Publicity-Marketing Honcho and wanted me to FRONT one of his clients....Lexus, Cutty Sark, Old English 800 or a Perm/Dye Hair Product, of which, I couldn't do that.

Anyway...a limo came to fetch "Cheshire Cat" and I let him take me to PBS for the BOOK TV interview---he really spelled out the benefits of letting a CORPORATE SPONSOR underwrite my book touring....something I have never thought about or even knew existed. He said he wanted to do this without bookstores being involved----in other words, rent halls at hotels and have LEXUS Presents Kola Boof type events, but I told him that I would have to pitch it to Door of Kush, my publisher.

I did the 20 minute interview with PBS, which is supposed to be included in a program that features some 100 authors talking about the difficulties of writing "autobiography", etc. and is to air on BOOK TV in February 2006.

I left with "Cheshire Cat" and he took me to lunch at another hotel close to the pentagon---which is where my Black American father used to work.

I talked to my kids on the phone for about 40 minutes of our lunch time.

Somehow, I mentioned to him that I had only sold 20 copies of my books at the signing....

......he asked me if I knew that there was a major EVENT at the Convention Center that very day called "For Sisters Only"???

I told him "no", I didn't. And anyway, I wasn't registered for such an event. I couldn't just walk in and start selling my books.

BUT......

like magic, Mr. "Cheshire Cat" drove me to my hotel, gathered up the 60 copies of "Flesh" that I had not sold........told me to wait at the hotel for his LIMO to fetch me

.......in the meantime, HE went down to the Convention Center where several THOUSAND black women were visiting the stalls of "For Sisters Only" and Miraculously...on the spot....booked a VENDOR'S BOOTH for Miss Kola Boof and then called me and had his limo bring me down.

It was amazing!

I sold the 40 remaining copies of "Flesh and the Devil" and signed about 200 autographs in 2 and 1/2 hours.








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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "A phone caller even remarked that I wasn't the "usually quick, smarty-mouthed Kola Bitch" that Londoners "know and love"."
ABM: You can't be all things to all people, Babe.

Kola: "Tiye took me on a small "sharecropper's" airplane..."
ABM: Sure you don't mean "cropduster airplane"? I know plenty foks who were sharecroppers. Not a single one of 'em owned a plane.

Kola: "[Tiye] made us an African breakfast of fried pan fish, fried crab legs and grits with yam and radishes in them. We had tea...I ended up slipping and sliding down into the bay water. Luckily, I'm a good swimmer and I got myself together...But I also had a slight fever when I got out of the water."
"Tiye": "Dayam! I figured by how much she brags about food and skinny dippin' that if I feed her and get he near some water, I'd be 'In like [an African] Flint'."

Kola: "...a tall goodlooking lightskinned Morehouse Graduate and EXECUTIVE at Lexxus Motors who had a business proposition for Kola Boof..."
ABM: Yeah. That kinda thing happens a lot to single women at hotels.
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Naturally,

When "Cheshire Cat" asked me to have dinner with him that night.....I agreed.

As well..."IKE" came to work his shift at the Hotel Front Desk and was sending me love notes and "single white roses" during the early part of the evening.

I admitt that I had endured "sexual fantasies" about IKE...but put off by his youth...SO....for some reason, I started entertaining thoughts of having one selfishly stupid one night stand with him before I left Washington.....later that night in my hotel room, I imagined.....AFTER my dinner with "Cheshire Cat".

And that became my plan.

Dine with Chesire Cat (who I KNEW would do it up) and then fuck the shit out of young stud boy before taking a 6 am flight OUT.



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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Hmmmmmm? This Cheshire Cat dude sounds 'interesting'.

I wonder, though: Has ANYONE on Lexus' marketing team READ "Flesh and the devil". If not, make sure you ink a phat sponsorship deal BEFORE they do. HAHA!

Seriously. This is quite an enjoyable and inspiring tale. :-)
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "Dine with Chesire Cat (who I KNEW would do it up) and then fuck the shit out of young stud boy before taking a 6 am flight OUT..."
ABM: "...just like momma raised me too."
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LOL

Yes, ABM, it was a "crop dusting plane".

And the "Cheshire Cat" had a LEXUS Credit Card with his photo on it.

It said: Regional Marketing Director and his name.

I'm not as gullible as you think. LOL

Or am I?

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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 04:54 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Clarification:

I sold 20 copies at KARIBU BOOKS

I gave, in total, 20 copies to the CROWN PLAZA HOTEL STAFF ("free" of charge)

I sold 60 copies at the "FOR SISTAS ONLY" convention event.

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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 05:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Anyway, I got all dressed up and came down to the lobby at 7 pm for dinner with "Cheshire Cat".

He took me to the Hotel Restaurant---despite my objections that dinner is about $32 a plate, not counting drinks in the Crown Plaza Restaurant.

I had lobster and he had steak.

AND....just as I was wrapping my romantic fantasies around Mr. dashing Yellow Boy from Lexus---I keep mentioning his skin tone for those who claim I would never give a light skinned guy a chance-----anyway

just as I'm beginning to DREAM that his charm has merit....he reveals that he LIED TO ME

about ONE thing.






I smile. "Oh, what was that?"

WELL...he "IS" Married and has 3 teenaged daughters.

He shows me his wife's picture---she's a sweet looking white lady.

They have a tudor mansion in Georgia.

JUST THEN...as I'm realizing it's ALL BIZNESS....he reveals quite flippantly

...that he CHEATS all the time and that if I wasn't Kola Boof, he would put the moves on me...but he has "business" ideas for me.

Anyway, he pulls out his Cell phone and calls a friend/editor and tells his friend to do a feature article about me in "ROLLING OUT" magazine:

http://www.rollingout.com/

His friend, also from MOREHOUSE, is very gracious---obviously not interested in Kola Boof----but agrees to feature me in "Rolling Out" as a favor to "Cheshire Cat".

Of course, I'm EXTREMELY grateful and excited about doing the SPONSORED TOURS------AND, I'm kind of relieved that it's my "career" that he really is interested in.

Then we have martinis and light desert and I let him walk me back to my hotel room.

But at the doorway, he grabs me and kisses me---tongue kisses me-----AND I LET HIM, because I don't want to lose any of the HELP he's setting up for me---and he's done so much for me already---and he presses his body into mines against the door sill and I can feel that he is very hard.

It becomes obvious that he wants MORE than a kiss.

He removes my breasts from my low cut gown and sucks on them for a good 3 minutes, squeezing them.

I stop him, reminding him that he's married and that this isn't part of the agreement and that I have to go.

When he presses my arm and pushes me inside the door.....I'm glad that I'm TALLER THAN HIM and that he's intimidated when I instruct him to LET ME GO.

He can see...INSTANTLY...that I'm not a whore OR WEAK.

I promise to call his office at Lexus TODAY (he didn't answer)....to have lunch with him when he comes to L.A. next week....and to send the necessary materials to Rolling Out and he departs.

It's 9 pm by then. IKE gets off at 12 midnight, so I start to take a long, hot bath---but Tiye and Lambd call. Just courtesy calls really to invite me to contact them when I come back to D.C.

Finally, I pour myself a small Vodka and I take a long hot bath....













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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 05:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

HAHAHAHA!

You're right: We REALLY outtah write together.

'Cause, honest, there's SO MUCH material here my head's about to explode!

HAHAHAHA!
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Mahoganyanais
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 06:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Congrats on the D.C. Experience! You had your highs and your lows, but all in all, it sounds like a memorable time.

*hugs*

Btw, I'm *still* reading "Flesh and the Devil" and will still review, fyi. Not that it's a slow read of course--not at ALL. ;-)
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 06:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Final Post...

I got out of the tub, perfumed myself, watched some of CNN's 25th anniversary and had 3 more Vodkas.

I had forgotten that I had taken TETRACYCLIN pills for the spots I was seeing in my eyes...and for the pain in my kidneys, which has gone on for a few weeks, and MIGHT BE a urinary tract infection, although I haven't had any pain in my UT or any other signs of a UT infection.

I just felt miserably sick and forgot that I was mixing pills with alcohol.

I fell on my bed dressed in a Victoria Secrets Havana brown teddy with my real hair out (not the usual disguise wig)....and passed out.

IKE came to my room after his shift ended...

HE LET HIMSELF IN with one of those electronic manager cards when I wouldn't answer the door OR the hotel phone or my cell phone.

...HE left a NOTE with his telephone number on my nightstand saying that he found me passed out, tried to wake me, but that I wouldn't wake up....he didn't want to disrespect me, he said.

(And of course, he had no idea that he was getting some pussy that night---NONE)

____________

I woke up to prepare to leave the hotel EARLY but received a call from the airport that my flight was cancelled and wouldn't leave until 10 am.

I found IKE's note, called to the Front Desk, but he was gone home.

I took a flight out of D.C. from Reagan National Airport going to N.Y.'s John Kennedy Airport.....and traveling on a Mini-Plane that carried like 50 passengers.

Door of Kush had downgraded my flight to COACH.

I kid you not.

They weren't aware that I ended up selling the other 60 books.

Anyway...I'm sitting on the back of the plane, softly weeping that nobody believes in or supports my career and that Thomas doesn't love me anymore....when this black family gets on and comes to the back.

They're lightskinned blacks with "good hair". The wife and 2 sons sit on the 2 seats in front of me (so they can't see me) and the husband sits in the ONE SEAT across the aisle, which makes it possible for him to see them AND me.

The husband begins immediately staring at me and nods a few times, but out of respect for his wife, I ignore his attentions and stare out the plane.

The plane takes off and these light black people with slick wavy hair begin speaking profusely----in SPANISH.

I assume they're some kind of Puerto Ricans.

The stewardess brings sodas and pretzels....and then....THE HUSBAND gets up and sits next to me behind his wife and kids.

I turn on him, viciously, but it turns out---the woman is his SISTER and the two boys are his nephews.

They're all from the Dominican Republic and are returning to New York City from Miami where someone died...and the MAN ONE is going on to L.A. (where I'm going).

Up close, he looks like one of the SYLVERS turned 38 and tells me his name is "Negro". He's very...and I mean VERY fresh. Constantly smiling and telling me how good I smell, how pretty my smile is, how lovely my dark complexion.....and patting my leg every other second.

When he asks what I do for a living, I say that I'm a Nurse. He says he's a government worker, but won't specify.

Anyway, we get off in N.Y. and I go to the next Gate and make conversation with the sweetest OLD, OLD man from Jamaica who's on his way to L.A. to visit his sister.

I fall in love with this elderly Jamaican guy, because he's so handsome and full of fire and he's telling me such fantastically interesting stories about growing up in Jamaica and how to make coffee (my mother was a Gisi-Waaq, a tribe that worships the coffee bean) and many of his ways of making coffee are similar to how Mommysweet made coffee in Sudan. The rituals are endless.

Anyway, we get on a HUGE airplane with 3 aisles for the flight back to L.A.

I sit down and I'm paired up....miraculously...with a tall lanky Jewish guy who writes for The Los Angeles Times regularly and thinks that I'm basketball player Lisa Leslie.

THIS WHITE MAN....is a powerful newspaper big shot that I referred to as an "asshole son of a bitch" in my book "NILE RIVER WOMAN"---which I'm sure he's heard about, so I don't want to tell him that I'm Kola Boof. I look out the window and GO TO SLEEP.

Thomas and the boys pick me up at LAX

AND THAT WAS MY TRIP.

_________________

FOOTNOTE:

We talk a lot about Interracial Stuff on this site.

I just wanted to mention that while I was in WASHINGTON D.C.....it was like culture shock for me.

I saw HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of "Black Couples" everywhere that I went!!

They were happy, smiling and talking to each other---I saw BLACK KIDS with their parents---I was constantly.....constantly being said "hello" to by BLACK MEN.....of all ages, types....they would Nod, smile, say hello or acknowledge me in some way..............and it was TO DIE FOR!!

I really have to move out of California, I realize, because I'm becoming paranoid.

I only counted 3 interracial couples the entire time I was in D.C.----4 if you count "Cheshire Cat".

In California, it's the opposite. I have gone MONTHS without seeing a black couple in Cali, yet EVERY DAY see black men with non-black women....and black women by themselves.

Seeing "Black Children" by the bus loads, laughing and playing together, in D.C. almost made me cry.

So, for that, it was refreshing and because of the ENORMOUS kindness and attention that I received from Black men...LITERALLY EVERYWHERE I WENT OUTSIDE CALIFORNIA.....I consider my trip to have been very successful and Worthwhile.

I am still sick, however. I feel awful and keep nodding to sleep while trying to be online.

I took a break after the last post to make lunch....but my boys actually made their own breakfast this morning and brought me Orange juice and oatmeal.

I'm so proud of them.





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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 07:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, ABM

after DESTINED reads all this, I'm sure she won't let you and I write together.



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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 07:03 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

My biggest regret is that I didn't get laid, because now I'm "hot" and back stuck on the ranch with the river, the trees, the horses and my kids.

I really wanted to use this trip as an opportunity to break the bond with Thomas and sleep with another man.

Also---I met with Ajowa Ifetayo, my dear friend.




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Libralind2
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 08:19 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

GURL..Im about to write BRAVO and tell them they are wasting good tape on Bobby Brown, the REAL life they need to have on TV for the world to view is Kola
LiLi
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 08:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I'm not blaming you or anything. It's just something that always interests me about how men/women often view things so differently: Didn't it dawn on you that "Cheshire" was a really a 'Tom' cat in disguise?
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Nope, ABM.

I didn't see it.

AND...I'm still dealing with him in the hopes that he can help my career.

___________

ONE THING THOUGH:

There was this very eerie moment...when I suspected that Cheshire Cat was YOU, ABM.

It went away, however, after he showed me that he was married to a white woman in Georgia.

But for a few moments, I was pale and very still as he talked so elegantly and with such wit and authority----and seemed so intent on getting my name and work out there.

I kept wondering---But "WHY" does he want to help "ME"????

I'm not exactly a STAR yet....and I'm not someone that could easily be SPONSORED by a Corporation.





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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:24 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I used to be bothered...that almost ALL of the big breaks and successes I've had in life have been provided by relationships with MEN....including plutonic friendships like with Troy Johnson and Cornel Chesney.....

....but lately, I've come to accept that in my career, that's how it's going to be.

And that I shouldn't feel ashamed that men SOMETIMES help me with the hope that maybe they'll fuck me.

I no longer see anything wrong with a woman getting opportunities and doors opened because men want to fuck her---or because, in fact, she actually DOES fuck them.

With all the cruel, underhanded tricks pulled by my enemies and detractors----why shouldn't I have some alternative ammunition is this fight to be heard and to exist as myself.

No one snickers and rolls their eyes that my hometown newspaper---The Washington Post----mentioned everybody's book signing but mines.......or that the Los Angeles Times book editor made fun of my name being "Kola Boof"...........or that SOME black bookstores refuse to carry my books even when their customers request they order them

...but they act like it's murder when rich black men start publishing companies just to make sure that there's some FAIRNESS in the game.....which has happened twice----Russom Damba started "North African Book Exchange" to publish me and Cornel Chesney started "Door of Kush".

I didn't sleep with either of those two men, but what if I did?

So what!

That's why I love Diana Ross.

An evil WITCH has gotta have somebody on her side in this sorry ass business (not that I think of Diana as evil/witch---but when people call me "the Diana Ross of the book business", I know that's what they're implying--that I'm a prima donna and a bitch). So fuck 'em.

Who knows, maybe I WILL end up fucking Cheshire Cat.

Let's just wait and see how much HELP he's offering--and how badly I need it.

I've already proven that I can write with the best of them.









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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:26 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Again. Not judging. But it's always interesting to me how women get lured into the assorted "Hey Baby come with me and lemme make you a star." schemes that men pull.

Half of the reason why guys become movie and record producers is for that very reason.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

What bothered a lot of people about Ross was not her boning whomever was necessary to get from point B, then C and so on.

Most mature foks figure that's the game.

I think, though, foks looked at the Supremes as being a group of attractive, talented young Black women who achieved a high level of success together and who loved and looked out for each other. And they got disappointed when Ross proved that fantasy to be untrue.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I agree with you that there are times a woman's gottah use what she's got to get what she wants.

Hey, that's the world.

But a guy miraculously appears from the ether and promises to do ALL these wondrous things to advance your career, a career he don't really even know anything about?

Come on, Boo Boo. Don't be no fool.
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 09:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I guess you're right, ABM.

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Abm
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 10:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Hey. I hope I'm not in regards to "Cheshire".

But, well...
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Kola
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Posted on Monday, June 06, 2005 - 10:23 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, ABM, as I said...we'll see what keys he pulls out of his hat to HELP me.

It's already been established that he wants to fuck me.

I'm single.

And I'm a PRO when it comes to making a man..."BUILD A BED"....for me to lay upon.

No bed-building, no laying down.




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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 12:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "I'm a PRO when it comes to making a man..."BUILD A BED"....for me to lay upon."

ABM: Really? How do you do that? "...lie down on [your] bed, close [your] eyes, open [your] legs and think of [Africa]."?
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Kola
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 12:34 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

No, ABM.

You make his ass PROVE that he can open doors....by opening a few.

Then you "do something"---but not intercourse to keep him worked up.

And if he DROPS OFF

---then at least you've had a few doors opened without surrendering the pink.

But if he BUILDS THE BED...then he wins the bed....(with you on it) in the end.

I'm just not so sure that I'm young and attractive enough anymore (or have the engery) to go through all that "chase me around the desk" game playing.

I'm awfully tired and domesticated now. And I'm not as pretty or driven as I used to be.

Frankly, I feel sad and regressive all the time.

I just want to give up sometimes---and move to Belize and marry Thomas and never be heard from again.






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Kola
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 12:41 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I live on a $3 million dollar property in a $700,000 house.......and I have NO MONEY...and no means of escape.

As much as I love and adore Thomas---he owns me.

Do you see where this kind of "bag girl" life leads even when you're smart?

That's another reason why I don't want to play the game.

The men ALWAYS win.

It's set up that way.

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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 12:51 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Naw. We win because we're at our core cruel, heartless, souless b@$+@#%s who always care just a little bit more about what WE want than anything and anyone else.

You women, however, seemingly forever equivocate right at that point.

But in the end, you women prevail.

You live longer, healthier lives. The kids love their mothers and despise their fathers.

And there will probably be more of you in 'Heaven' - whatever that'll be - than us.
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 12:53 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

But I agree there seems little happiness on Earth for women. I don't even think most of YOU could fairly/honestly define what such would entail.
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Nadine Holden
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Posted on Tuesday, June 07, 2005 - 08:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Welcome back. Sorry I couldn't make your signing. I was out to Anapolis. Hope all went well.






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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 01:25 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thanks Nadine. It's OK. I will be back in D.C. this fall supposedly.

And my new video is coming in July.

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Moonsigns
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 03:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

What a....strange turn of events....to say the least.

And--lambchop has a girlfriend.

Classic!
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 03:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Moonsigns: "And--lambchop has a girlfriend."
ABM: As if YOU, of all people, weren't already fluent in Lambd's mating exploits.
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Moonsigns
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 03:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm,

You know as much as I do.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 03:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Moonsigh,

Uhn, uhn! That was me with you/Lambd that nite. That was some other brothah.
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Mahoganyanais
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

That was me with you/Lambd that nite.

They say confession is good for the soul, ABM.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:17 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Mah,

HAHA!

Indeed. All my dribbling was bound to leave a stain.
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Mahoganyanais
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:22 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Indeed. All my dribbling was bound to leave a stain.

Yeah, just make sure you swab that up before it CALCIFIES!
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Yvettep
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

swab that up before it CALCIFIES

OTOH: They also say calcium is good for strong bones and teeth.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And why wouldn't Lambd have a girlfriend??? He was not a priest. Heeey, Lambd. Smooches. (Just in case you get a chance to escape the watchful eyes of your girlfriend and sneak a peek at the board. Miss ya!)
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 04:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Mah: "...just make sure you swab that up before it CALCIFIES!"
ABM: Naw. I'd rather leave it as a tip for housekeeping. They do a lot. Thus, they should receive some gratuity that results from other 'hard' work.

'Vette: "They also say calcium is good for strong bones and teeth."
ABM: Yeah. Lot's of good proteins too. All the nutrients you need...plus it goes down REAL smooth.
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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 05:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

WOW!!!

The return of MOONSIGNS and on "MY" BOARD!

I am so happy!!! Welcome home dear sister, Moon, it's so good to see you in the mix again.

LOL






LAMBD wouldn't let me post a pic of him/me or just him as he looks now


but he allowed me this one of how he looked 15 years ago:

Lamd


MOON:

It is "cold" of Lambd to have a Live-in Girlfriend of 3 years.....after her lead me to believe that he might be "rehabilitating" himself to step into Thomas's shoes. We were both really looking forward to our date......but just as I landed in D.C., Lambd was coming back to town from a Vacation and the girlfriend (who wasn't due back for a few days from a different vacation)....came home early.

I always get typecast by life as the mistress. That's why I have a don't-give-a-fuck attitude about what people think of me.

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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 05:22 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Doctor's Report:

They really don't know what's causing my pains.

The Doctor feels....that because my breasts are starting to sag, they're causing me back problems....and because I don't wear a bra very often, I wasn't able to fight him on it.

It seems that as they're starting to droop, they're bigger than "38 C" now and they really are heavier. When my period's on--they swell to a small "D" cup, that's been my whole life, but that's only for a few days. It seems now they're always bigger, so

I don't know what to think.

It's hard for me to believe it's my breasts making my GUTS ache all day.





But OK. I'm putting on a bra.



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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, June 08, 2005 - 07:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Gravity ‘grav’ ahold of us all, My Queen.

I hope your back/kidneys heal up REAL soon. :-)
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Lambd
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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 01:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

My girl is Fine! Notice the capital "F". But she is fairly new. I think KB misunderstood something I said. I've known her for years, but just recently captured her heart. We don't live together so Kola can come back to DC in the fall and come home with me if she likes. Just on that night I had to perform elsewhere, and like you and I both know, Abm, "WHEN DUTY CALLS, YOU GOTTA ANSWER!" I don't think Babygurl would understand if the night she came back after three weeks of being apart I told her, "Look here Babygurl, I'd like to make luv to you tonight, but there's this beautiful big breasted, African woman come all the way back to DC by way of Cali who needs my company tonight."
Actually she was real cool about it. She knew I was with KB. She just needed that thing. Aint nothing like getting it when you want it. Especially when its supposed to be yours! It was good to see you, though, KB. I can drive you around when you come back if you like. We can have dinner then. My treat. I may have to bring Babygurl. Hey! How you feel about threesomes?

What up C-neek! I knew you had my back if no one else. I tried to wait for you, Baby! I truly did. I was single a long time, and you acted like you weren't tryin' to leave Chi-town to tighten me up! What's a man to do? You said yaself that I aint a priest. LORD KNOWS I AINT A PRIEST!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lambd
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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 01:19 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola you are truly NUTZ!!!!!!!!! I just saw that picture!!! That guy looks way better than I could ever look. I really appreciate you not posting my real picture, Babe. I really shouldn't have let anyone photograph me, but I figured, "What da hell!!! Its for Kola Boof! How often does a guy get to take a picture with melons like that?"

From now on I'm calling you 'Homegurl'! After spending time with you, I can honestly say you more Anacostia than you are Africa. I mean that in a cool way, not a ghetto way...Even though you apparently got some ghetto in yo' ass too.
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Abm
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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 01:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lambd,

Well as I live and breathe. Look what Kola the Cat don' drug in.

LAMBD! DUDE! Where you been hiding playa-playah?

Man. I'm GLAD to 'see' yah.

Heck! I thought the last time you fell off that turnip truck you mustah sustained some permanent injury.

I'm glad you/Kola got together. Though, I'm sorry it didn't work out quite like you wanted it to ("Youknowhatumsayin'. Youknowhatumsayin'...Hehe!!!)

I hear yah though. You gots to lay that deal down strong to keep everything dark/lovely.

So be boss, Chief!

'Sides. Chicks just can't or won't understand the game.

How Kola gon' just stroll all-dat up in the Chocolate City and don't consider that a brothah probably gonna haftah juggle some 'partixulahs' to make thangs happen?

I think life on the ranch is finally catchin' up to her.

Whadashethink: You ain't got plenty other local booty-duty in the works?

Well. Hopeful the next time out, everythang'll be EVERYTHANG!

Aight. Don't be a stranger, Homiecide. Your presense and humor been missed.

And, hey, now that you're back, maybe we'll see more our resident White brothaman stalker Moonsigns.

:-)


("Anxiously awaiting Kola's response to Lambd's gutsy 'I may have to bring Babygurl. Hey! How you feel about threesomes?'.")
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Lambd
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lambd

Post Number: 729
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 01:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yeah! Good to see you, too, Playuh! I asked KB about you when she was up here.

***private sidebar to Abm:
I threw that 3sum thing in as a last ditch attempt at getting a laff outta you, as well as a eyebrow raise out of Kola. Cuz a Playah neva know till he ask. YaknowwhatImsayin???
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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1377
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 02:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lambd is fine as hell. I don't know why he's front'n. He's tall, football-type looking guy.

AND his little dark cocoa princess girlfriend is beautiul, too.

I wish them all the best.

ALTHOUGH...you really could have told me about your girlfriend BEFORE I got in your car, Lambd. In fact--you had a WHOLE YEAR to tell me and you didn't.

That's cold.

But it's OK. We're cool. I love you just the same.

Desiree's POETRY book that you gave me was really, really good, LAMBD. I enjoyed it immensely.

Thanks for being my Escort/Bodyguard for the night...you were wonderful and the perfect gentlemen....and thanks for all the "flattering comments", although I take them a different way NOW.



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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1378
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 02:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LAMBD:

We don't live together so Kola can come back to DC in the fall and come home with me if she likes.


KOLA:

You sure you want her to read that.

No wonder women like DESTINED think the worst of me.

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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1380
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 02:30 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lambd, this is what I truly believe happened---either or.


(1) You arrived to pick me up and realized that I wasn't as attractive/desirable as you remembered me to be...and decided to get out of our late night dinner by interjecting your Girlfriend.

OR

(2) After I got in the car and sweetly reiterated that I was NOT going to put out under any circumstances (not that you were pressuring me, because you were not)---you decided that it was a waste of time to spend 8 hours with Kola and get no "hooni-hoosi hole" for it.

WHICH ONE IS CORRECT?

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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1385
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 03:30 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM!!!

Stop telling him what to say. You guys think you're slick.


And I wonder where is Cynique?

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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1386
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 03:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'll show who's slick, ABM.

I've erased your post telling LAMBD what to say...now lets see what he says on his own.

Uhn-uh


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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 3296
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 03:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Indeed.

I don't where she is. Where's Lambd?

Coincidence?
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 3297
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 03:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

HAHA!

How you gon' fault me for trynah lookin' out.

I'm from duh hood, Babe. Dat's how we do.

HAHA!

But seriously, (3) is something I and A LOT of brothahs can attest to. A LOT of women get boned in the place of other women we couldn't get.

That's Standard Operating Playah Procedure.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2005 - 06:03 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hi Lambd. What a pleasant surprise to see your name on the board. You say the sweetest things. You make an old girl feel young again. You know you still my Boo.
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Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns

Post Number: 505
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 10:37 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Thank you for the welcome to your board--I think?!?! Hope you are feeling better. If you can, buy some liquid chlorophyll and keep drinking unsweetened cranberry juice mixed with water. Also, the juice of two, fresh lemons squeezed into a cup of filtered, warm water, first thing in the a.m., detoxify the liver. It cleanses the body very well.


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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 1410
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 12:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thanx, Moon. I will.

And of course, I was welcoming you and SINCERELY HAPPY to see you.





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