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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 3157
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, June 03, 2005 - 03:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Below is an interesting article that alleges to represent what many women would like for men to better know/appreciate about them.

Well. I thought it might be fun/instructive to provide politically incorrect masculine rebuttals to what Black women think.

The rebuttals are bolded.


http://bv.channel.aol.com/lifemain/lifemain_canvas/featurestory?id=2005053112020 9990001

Updated: 2005-06-01 13:34:35
Inside the Minds of Women

By Camille Lowry, AOL BlackVoices columnist
Contrary to male opinion, women don’t enjoy drama. In fact, we’re working overtime to improve male-female relations. We’ve logged in hours watching Oprah and reading self-help books to gain new skills and insights, while men roll their eyes. But our efforts haven’t helped, because it takes two. So fellas, please read these 10 hints about the female psyche, so that maybe, finally, we can all just get along.

What's She Thinking?
Yes, we want to be respected as individuals, and have equal standing in the workplace, but we still want you to open the door for us. Don’t use women’s lib as an excuse to be lazy. A little effort goes a long way with us. And paying for the first date goes even further.
So then, you basically want to "have your cake and eat it too." Has it ever occurred to you that implicit in the many niceties you expect of us men is the not-so-subtle message that you’re less capable of doing such for yourself, which, btw, controverts your expectations for equality elsewhere? If you fairly considered that, you might better understand men’s confusion about such things.

We Invented Window Shopping
While we would prefer that you not look at other women, it’s unrealistic to think that you won’t. After all, we check out cute guys, too. But notice when we do, our tongues don’t hang out of our mouths. You men think you’re being slick, but you’re not.
Fair enough. But here’s the thing: Guys don’t pay enough attention to what guys you’re checking out for that to matter to us (we’re too busy scoping other hunnies) . However, if we so much as catch a hottie from out of our rearview mirror, some of you have such a royal conniption fit you almost cause us to crack up our rides.

No, That Doesn’t Feel Good
Our nipples are not the twist-off cap on your beer bottle. Nor are they the dials on the radio. They are not your toys. They are parts of our bodies. Gentle, gentle, gentle.
Oh. Sorry. We didn’t know.

Grow to Love Aunt Flo
Don’t go there with that time of the month. You don’t have one. You have no idea. We didn’t sign up for PMS. Stop acting as if we choose to feel like this. And if we say anything unreasonable during that time, all behavior is to be forgiven, especially since this hormonal process helped bring you into this world.
Okay. But some of you max-out on the Aunt Flo trump card. Yeah. We don’t know how painful, stressful, etc. it is. Yadda...Yadda. Enough already! Just listening atcha I'm beginning to get a headache similar to the one you're always yapping about. And explain to me this: How is it your pre-menses ALWAYS seem to coincide with my disapproving of something you want to buy or do?

We Dig Thinkers
We appreciate a man with a plan. Spontaneity can be nice but a half-baked plan is just lame. When you take us to a restaurant for our anniversary without making a reservation, and we have to wait for a table for two hours, we feel like you don’t really care. Simple forethought shows us that we’re important.
All jokes aside: Most grown men don’t give a dayam about anniversaries, birthday parties, Valentine’s Day, etc. Actually, we loathe such frivolity. Don’t believe me: Next time you’re at such a celebration, secretly spy the eyes of all the attending men. You’ll likely observe a strange mix of angst/horror/confusion/boredom. So just chill and enjoy any effort we extend in this area. Because, honestly, we’d much rather be doing more important things like watching ESPN, detailing our cars and lying to each other about our prior female conquests.

We've Got a Plan B
Remember when you got jealous that time a guy invited me for coffee at 9AM, and I told you he was just a friend? And you said whenever you’re the first thing a guy thinks about in the morning, he’s not just a friend? Well, "He’s just a friend" means, yeah, I know he wants me, and if you don’t do me right, he just might get me! A girl’s got to have a plan B.
See. I knew your @$$ was cheatin’. THAT’s why you can’t trustah chick!

You Can’t Handle the Truth
When we say we’ve never slept with anyone on a first date, or that we’ve only been with one other person, we’re lying. Just like you do when you say you’re going to call. We do want honesty. But we also understand the protective value of a little white lie.
HAHA! Maybe we need to start consulting the same reference guides. Because you rank my fibbing about whether or not I’ll call you with whether you’re lying about having knocked boots with Usher and his road crew?

We Can’t Handle the Truth
If we’ve gotten chunky, and we ask if we look fat, just say no.
Finally some common ground. Now, can I assume you won’t get pissed when you receive those Fat Farm registration forms I ordered for you?

Prepare for the Inevitable
There are some things in life that are certain. The sun sets in the west, Mariah Carey always exposes too much cleavage, and women will always ask where the relationship is going. You know it’s going to happen. Why aren’t you ever ready for it? You act like a camper in the woods trying to survive a bear encounter by making no sudden moves. You can’t avoid confronting your feelings when you are in a relationship.
Well. Whaddaya want me to say? I’m just kickin’ it with you now until something better comes along? I don’t think that’ll make for good pillow talk.

Yes, They Know
I know all women say we want intimacy. But if you think there are only two of us in this relationship, you’re crazy. We share every moment of our affairs with our friends, sisters and mother. They know all the mushy things you’ve said, what size you are, and that you make me TiVo ’Desperate Housewives‘ for you. But be clear they also know every time you mess up and hurt me. This relationship has a jury. So you’d better watch your step.
Oh. I ain’t worried about them. Cause they are probably worse off in their own dealings than you will ever be with me. So if you’re dumb enough to allow them to have the primary say in our relationship, you’ll be the big looser. Plus. 1/2 of ‘em wanna give me some. Especially your mom’s. Laugh if you want. But I can tell by the way she press her chest (btw: "Nice.") up against me whenever we visit her.
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Libralind2
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Libralind2

Post Number: 108
Registered: 09-2004

Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)

Posted on Sunday, June 05, 2005 - 09:39 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm..?? Anything I could come back with wouldnt be as amusing as the above so in the great words of Hammer "I cant touch this"
LiLi

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