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Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1153
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:36 am: | 
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Well, we knew it was coming....but who expected it to be soooooo great!!
Our own Mahogany Anais....Ms. Deesha Philyaw Thomas...is FEATURED in the Sunday, May 29th issue of the WASHINGTON POST---the PRESTIGIOUS "Book World" Section. This girl KIN write! Check it out below.
 
Here's a link: (although there's no telling how long the link will be FREE)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/26/AR2005052601267.html
So, anyway. I STOLE my Sist-ur's story and re-printed it here.
 
Parenting
Raising our sons and daughters in a challenging and changing world.
By Deesha Philyaw Thomas
Sunday, May 29, 2005; Page BW13
"I like to play indoors better, 'cause that's where all the electrical outlets are." To Richard Louv, this comment from a fourth grader is further evidence of our children's diminished ties to the natural world, a disconnection he believes is making them sick. Obesity and depression, he argues, are hallmarks of childhood in an increasingly plugged-in, online world. In Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder (Algonquin, $24.95), he calls for a nature-child reunion.
Louv, a columnist for the San Diego Union-Tribune, suggests that "nature-deficit disorder" be used to describe the "human costs of alienation from nature," including, in his view, various physical and mental illnesses. He cites new studies that offer hope, linking exposure to nature with improved cognitive abilities and mental health in children, and to a reduction in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms. Louv writes of his own childhood: "The woods were my Ritalin." According to him, children today are less inclined and less free to engage in activities that previous generations took for granted, such as playing in vacant lots and building treehouses. Television and video games aren't the only culprits. Fear of litigation and stringent neighborhood covenants restricting the free use of open space limit children's play as well. Parents' sometimes unfounded fears also are "effectively scaring children straight out of the woods and fields." Louv argues that more time in nature, not less, enhances children's safety by heightening their senses and strengthening their self-confidence. He also offers suggestions for reacquainting children with nature.
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Louv touts environment-based education, in which the local landscape is a curricular focal point, and he praises communities that are on the cutting edge of preserving nature and making it available for child-friendly exploration. With this scholarly yet practical book, Louv offers solutions today for a healthier, greener tomorrow.
Lightning in a Bottle
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Bonnie Buxton's daughter, Colette, was a beautiful, energetic toddler who stole the hearts of her adoptive parents. But by first grade, Buxton writes in Damaged Angels: An Adoptive Mother Discovers the Tragic Toll of Alcohol in Pregnancy (Carroll & Graf; paperback, $15.95), Colette was stealing money and lying, seemingly without remorse. Buxton, a Toronto-based journalist, struggled for years to get special education and therapy for her daughter. School and mental health professionals downplayed Colette's problems; some blamed Buxton and her husband, and even Colette herself. By age 14, Colette was sexually active and involved with drugs.
Only after Colette became a homeless crack addict at age 18 did Buxton discover that her daughter suffers from permanent brain damage caused by prenatal alcohol exposure. Like many of the estimated 3 million affected Americans, Colette does not have the "face" (wide-set eyes) and severely impaired intelligence usually associated with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), which has been popularized by the media and often presumed to be mainly a Native American disorder. In fact, FAS is just the most physically obvious manifestation of several impairments covered by the umbrella term Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).
Buxton presents well-documented studies and anecdotal evidence that challenge the notion that there is a safe threshold of alcohol consumption or a safe time to drink during pregnancy. When prenatal alcohol exposure results in FASD, children may require specialized treatment for learning disabilities and behavior problems. Diagnosis is key yet often elusive. To skeptics tempted to write off these "bad" children, Buxton notes that the preventable tragedy of FASD costs Americans $3-4 billion annually in social and medical services, welfare, criminal justice expenses and lost productivity.
Buxton's heart-wrenching book is a wellspring of information and compassion for families dealing with this condition and a must-read for concerned parents and professionals.
Ties That Bind
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For nearly three decades, Swiss psychoanalyst Alice Miller has written extensively about the long-term effects of parental cruelty. Hitler's atrocities, Miller suggests, were the direct result of daily beatings by his father, a subject Miller explored in For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence (1983). But repressed rage from childhood does not always explode outward in adulthood. Sometimes it turns inward.
The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting (Norton, $23.95), translated from the German by Andrew Jenkins, is Miller's examination of how mistreatment in childhood can lead to depression, chronic illness and premature death in adulthood. Unable to express anger and hatred toward abusive parents, children become adults who are unwilling to do so because, Miller explains, they are bound by the societal imperative to forgive, derived from the Fourth Commandment -- "honor thy father and thy mother." Miller writes, "Forgiveness has never had a healing effect," but with the help of an "enlightened witness" (a "non-neutral" therapist, for example), traumatized adults can reject the Fourth Commandment, acknowledge their true feelings about their abusers and begin to overcome the debilitating physical illnesses that plague them.
Psychoanalysts on the other side of the therapeutic fence prefer the forgive-to-heal approach. But Miller argues that such preference simply proves how deeply rooted adherence to the Fourth Commandment is: Therapists' loyalties to their own flawed parents keep them from effectively treating their patients.
Using patient anecdotes and the tragic biographies of writers such as Dostoyevsky and Virginia Woolf, Miller writes so convincingly of truth-telling as a matter of life and death that her criticism of the Fourth Commandment feels needlessly provocative. This is one central weakness in an otherwise strong clarion call on behalf of child-abuse victims.
The Will to Live
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On March 11, 2001, Gail Griffith's 17-year-old son, Will, took an overdose of his antidepressant medication that left him comatose for 48 hours. He became one of the approximately 2,000 Americans between ages 13 and 18 who attempted suicide that day. Griffith chronicles her son's journey back to a renewed interest in life in Will's Choice: A Suicidal Teen, a Desperate Mother, and a Chronicle of Recovery (HarperCollins, $24.95).
After Will's suicide attempt, Griffith searched for a residential treatment facility, the right combination of medicines, and answers to the question that haunted her: "Why?"
In addition to the emotional toll on Griffith's family, the time and financial cost of finding help for Will was enormous. The treatment option they deemed best -- a $5,000-a-month, out-of-state therapeutic boarding school -- was not covered by insurance. What about families who don't have such resources? "They are relegated to the dregs of the mental health system -- poorly managed and poorly maintained state-run facilities," Griffith explains. "Their children suffer, their families suffer -- and we all pay for this heinous failure to provide adequate treatment for every young person who needs it."
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Part memoir, part social manifesto, part reader-friendly biochemical textbook, Griffith's personal story turns political as she uncovers the obstacles that many depressed teens and their families face: an illness that is difficult to diagnose in young people, ill-informed pediatricians recklessly prescribing antidepressants, and the powerful drug companies holding sway over the Food and Drug Administration ("The two are incompatible and they have no business being in bed together.")
Griffith's powerful prose provides just one of several voices in this book. Articulate, revealing journal entries from Will and his girlfriend supplement the author's description of Will's road to recovery, speed-bumps and all. Correspondence from various relatives during Will's treatment rounds out the book, and the entire family seems to have a way with words and an irrepressible sense of humor.
As an advocate for depressed teens and their families, Griffith educates and empathizes. With the story of Will's choice -- life -- she gives hope to families in crisis. ·
Deesha Philyaw Thomas is a columnist for literarymama.com and parentsaction.org and a film reviewer for 3blackchicks.com.
The Will to Live
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On March 11, 2001, Gail Griffith's 17-year-old son, Will, took an overdose of his antidepressant medication that left him comatose for 48 hours. He became one of the approximately 2,000 Americans between ages 13 and 18 who attempted suicide that day. Griffith chronicles her son's journey back to a renewed interest in life in Will's Choice: A Suicidal Teen, a Desperate Mother, and a Chronicle of Recovery (HarperCollins, $24.95).
After Will's suicide attempt, Griffith searched for a residential treatment facility, the right combination of medicines, and answers to the question that haunted her: "Why?"
In addition to the emotional toll on Griffith's family, the time and financial cost of finding help for Will was enormous. The treatment option they deemed best -- a $5,000-a-month, out-of-state therapeutic boarding school -- was not covered by insurance. What about families who don't have such resources? "They are relegated to the dregs of the mental health system -- poorly managed and poorly maintained state-run facilities," Griffith explains. "Their children suffer, their families suffer -- and we all pay for this heinous failure to provide adequate treatment for every young person who needs it."
Part memoir, part social manifesto, part reader-friendly biochemical textbook, Griffith's personal story turns political as she uncovers the obstacles that many depressed teens and their families face: an illness that is difficult to diagnose in young people, ill-informed pediatricians recklessly prescribing antidepressants, and the powerful drug companies holding sway over the Food and Drug Administration ("The two are incompatible and they have no business being in bed together.")
Griffith's powerful prose provides just one of several voices in this book. Articulate, revealing journal entries from Will and his girlfriend supplement the author's description of Will's road to recovery, speed-bumps and all. Correspondence from various relatives during Will's treatment rounds out the book, and the entire family seems to have a way with words and an irrepressible sense of humor.
As an advocate for depressed teens and their families, Griffith educates and empathizes. With the story of Will's choice -- life -- she gives hope to families in crisis. ·
Deesha Philyaw Thomas is a columnist for literarymama.com and parentsaction.org and a film reviewer for 3blackchicks.com.
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Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1154
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:38 am: |
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Deesha/Mahogany...I'm so proud of you, sis.
There's nothing quite as exciting as actually SEEING it IN PRINT.
You have arrived, girlfriend.
And the write up is FANTASTIC!!!!!
I really admire your style.
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 503
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 07:56 am: |
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Kola girl, THANK YOU! Now I'm *really* crying (read your email)!
I'm in NYC for the long weekend...need to run out and get a print copy. I'm going DANCING tonight, y'all!
This *almost* compensates for the fact that my companion for this weekend is at this very moment STARING at Kola's pic on the back of my copy of "Flesh and the Devil"--he forgets I'm a mom and have eyes in the back of my head. Plus, I hear the heavy breathing...LOL!
Seriously, love to you, Kola, and to the aalbc fam for all the support and encouragement. It means everything. ('Vette, remember when I was PROCRASTINATING on this?!?!?!) |
Libralind2
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 95
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 09:16 am: |
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Excellent Mah !
LiLi |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 347
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 09:53 am: |
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('Vette, remember when I was PROCRASTINATING on this?!?!?!)
I do, indeed, Mah--And no wonder! Kind of a downer bunch of books, yes?
But I agree with Kola--Great job, wonderful style and flow. Hope the litmamas also get more traffic as a result of this, as well as the exposure you're sure to get.
And speaking of "exposure"--LOL about Kola's book cover. Maybe, tho, I can suggest this to my single friends (and married, but doubting friends) as a "test" for DL brothers! LOL
Have fun dancing! And get SEVERAL hard copies and clip to your heart's content. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3078
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 12:11 pm: |
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Mah,
CONGRATS, Babe!
SWEET!
Your article(s) are very informative and accessible.
Your “Raising our sons and daughters in a challenging and changing world” article seems a bit heavy on the quotes. But you allowed more of your own voice ‘flow’ in “The Will to Live”.
If you don’t mind, I have some questions pertaining to what you present concerning the book “Damaged Angels: An Adoptive Mother Discovers the Tragic Toll of Alcohol in Pregnancy”.
Until, perhaps the last 20 – 25 years, it seems little was said about the harmful effects of prenatal alcohol consumption. My questions are were pregnant women just innately savvy enough to eschew drinking or, if they continued to drink, have children born pre-1980 endured the problems cited in “Damaged Angels’” (I have similar questions about the effects of pregnant women who smoke.)?
And why did Bonnie have to get cracked out before her mother Colette discovered her daughter had suffered prenatal brain damage?
Would those questions be addressed upon reading “Damaged Angels’”?
Don’t forget us lil’ foks as you ascend the writers’ food chain.  |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3080
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 12:36 pm: |
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Mah,
Girl!
You got a friggin' article in the friggin WASHINGTON friggin POST!!
Hot DAYAM!
You GO GUURRLL!!
I wish I can just hug-kiss-love all ovah yah right now. (And I'd like tangibly congratulate you too...Hehe!) |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 504
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 12:42 pm: |
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Thanks, guys!
ABM: Your “Raising our sons and daughters in a challenging and changing world” article seems a bit heavy on the quotes. But you allowed more of your own voice ‘flow’ in “The Will to Live”.
Mah: Revising! Each review could have easily been 3 times a long if not for the word length limitation. And that adage used in novel-writing, that one must "murder" one's darlings to keep things tight, was true here as well. I had so many great lines! But alas...
ABM: Until, perhaps the last 20 – 25 years, it seems little was said about the harmful effects of prenatal alcohol consumption. My questions are were pregnant women just innately savvy enough to eschew drinking or, if they continued to drink, have children born pre-1980 endured the problems cited in “Damaged Angels’” (I have similar questions about the effects of pregnant women who smoke.)?
Mah: Buxton's position seems to be that while little was SAID about the risks of prenatal alcohol consumption, the damage was still be DONE. But as with her daughter's case, doctors and other professionals aren't making the diagnosis. Either the kids are just "bad" or the parents are at fault. Buxton even started to read the newspapers, looking for criminal cases with photos of the criminals, and she found many with strikingly similarities of troubled childhoods and subtle facial characteristics which indicate prenatal alcohol exposure. For adults who are diagnosed, their baby pictures tell the story, because those who suffer less (but still significant) damage, sometimes outgrow the tell-tale physical manifestations.
Affected individuals can have so many secondary problems, that no one really cares to go back and look at any prenatal whys. But it's important to treat a brain damaged individual differently than one who is "purely" depressed, or sociopathic, or whatever.
And as far as not much being SAID about this, remember, the alcohol industry, like the tobacco industry is very powerful. In Australia, many doctors own vineyards, so the efforts to minimize and suppress this information is in overdrive there.
Buxton deals with the FAS issue on a global scale, looking at efforts in South Africa, Australia, and Europe.
ABM: And why did Bonnie have to get cracked out before her mother Colette discovered her daughter had suffered prenatal brain damage?
Mah: Bonnie's the mom, Colette's the daughter...
Professional after professional, chalked it up to learning disorders and/or bad parenting. Buxton happened to be watching a TV show where FAS was the topic, and from there she began the uphill battle to try and get her daughter diagnosed.
ABM: Would those questions be addressed upon reading “Damaged Angels’”?
Mah: Yep. They are worth the price, but I'm happy to lend my copies of any of these books, to anyone who is interested.
ABM: Don’t forget us lil’ foks as you ascend the writers’ food chain.
Mah: Never! |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 505
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 12:43 pm: |
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ABM:
I wish I can just hug-kiss-love all ovah yah right now. (And I'd like tangibly congratulate you too...Hehe!)
Mah: See...THIS is why I write: the rewards! ;-) |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 350
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 12:47 pm: |
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Mah: Why do you assume AMB's...um...tangibles would be rewarding? |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1159
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:08 pm: |
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This is what I REPRESENT:
It's so easy to take it out of context.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3082
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:09 pm: |
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Mah,
Hmmmmm. So Buxton would probably argue there was prior anecdote of the destructiveness of prenatal drinking, although access to empirical evidence of such might be lacking.
I guess Bonnie must feel guilty about the condition her daughter suffers, huh?
Thanks for the info/correction.
And lookit you. You're already a 'star' enuff to appreciate that knocking boots with groupies is the best part of the writing gig.
You truly are on your way to the (tippy) top!
'Vette,
Psst! Come here: Pull my finger...Hehe! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3083
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:11 pm: |
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Kola,
Got any of these in color or as talkies?
<"yummy!"> |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1160
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:20 pm: |
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ABM has alerted me to a VERY IMPORTANT point.
If we don't HIT this link at the Washington Post---it doesn't help Mahogany with publishing people looking to see how many HITS the story gets.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/26/AR2005052601267. html
PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SIS BY HITTING THE "Link" AT THE POST. EMAIL THIS TO FRIENDS AND ASK THEM TO READ IT, TOO!!!
Thanks ABM for looking out.
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Cynnique
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 01:57 pm: |
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Whew! I really had to work my way through a maze to get to you. Anyway, I would pay you the highest compliment one journalist can give to another: you're good, girl! |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 352
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005 - 07:39 pm: |
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'Vette, Psst! Come here: Pull my finger...Hehe!
*waving the air*
(((What IS that SMELL??!!))) |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 508
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 12:52 pm: |
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Thanks, Lili and 'Vette.
And 'Vette, to answer your question...I figure ABM's tangibles must be all that, NOT because he tells anyone who will listen that they are--because, girl, you know how men lie--but rather because DESTINED, who knows the real deal rolled up here and shooed her little doggie back home (with his tail tucked between his legs), and the way I see it, mutts are allowed to stray, but dog show champions are carefully guarded. Woof!
And ABM, Bonnie Buxton is Colette's ADOPTIVE mother, so the guilt she feels is that of a mother who did all she could to help her daughter and still couldn't until much later in life--not as a mother who drank during her pregnancy. However, in her work on behalf of people with FASD Buxton has met biological mothers from all walks of life who admit to drinking during pregnancy and acknowledge the damage it did to their kids. Some of these women are active in working to bring greater awareness of FASD to others.
And Cynique, thank you! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3092
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 03:28 pm: |
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Mah,
Thanks for clarifying things concerning Bonnie and Colette. I wish them the best.
I saw an interesting episode of “Law & Order: SUV about FASD. It was a provocative confluence of reproductive rights, the parental rights of expectant fathers, abortion, right-to-right movement, etc. A pregnant person refused to stop drinking even though she’d already given birth to a FASD (whom she gave up for abortion 15 years prior which still in college). And, legally, there was nothing ANYONE could do about what she was doing.
Ladies,
I know I do a lot of silly macho bragging. I’m sorry. I know I should stop. I try. But, honestly, I can hardly help myself. It’s just sort of a part of my ‘energy’ when I sign-on here. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1173
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 04:03 pm: |
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ABM,
I remember reading your posts for at least a YEAR before I started posting...remember when Thomas and you all were pals before that?
Well, I don't recall you being as studly and charming to the ladies. You were actually very PRO black and intellectual and and more openly and seriously sexist--although I do recall a few of your barbs with Cynique.
It wasn't until I came that you became a full fledged person to all of us. And of course, through my powers of seduction back then---I, without censorship, sniffed and licked around your "legs" until you just couldn't help but TAME THE BITCH.
God! Troy should have PAID US for the "hits" his pages got during our heydey Golden Era before the 1st Time Thumper BANNED me from the board. And then when I came back as "Snake Girl"---we tore it up some more.
LOL
OK, I'm being bad. But I really made you blossom.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3095
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 04:34 pm: |
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Kola,
I imagine what you say is true. As I think back, I'd probably agree with what you describe. Although in substance/principal, I remain the same, my style certainly has changed.
I'll admit you have more than anyone else affected my persona here. I'm not sure, though, Troy, Thumpers and the others would refer to it as "blossom".
Hehe!
PS: But your referring to how many "hit" the site got during our "heydey" explain something to me. Because to be honest, I've expect them to ban my @$$ from this joint YEARS ago. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3096
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 04:45 pm: |
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Kola,
We did have our fun. Didn't we?
Man!
I've on occassion read some of what we've done in archives. I can't believe some of that stuff spranged out of my dome.
And I wasn't even getting high. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1174
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 05:07 pm: |
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Yeah, ABM. We really do have that thing called CHEMISTRY.
Which is why we need to write a romantic comedy screenplay of some sort. Of course, we'd have to PAY DESTINED to let us type it out over the computers. LOL
Although Troy tried to launch a "soap" written by me to HOOK visitors into daily visits......YOU AND I really did that (to huge "ratings") for more than a year without even trying. I still can't get over Troy's email about the "avalanche of responses"---everyone wanting to know who was ABM and what would Abm and Kola say to each other next---and the ones wanting us to get married! GOSH...and when I got banned those times, for months and months....people were REALLY upset! It was hilarious.
Poor Thumper. It was really you and I who brought a kind of popularity to this site that was literally OFF THE HOOK.
Just by discussing and flirting back and forth.
And then they tuned in as well to see Cynique tell me off and be the one person brave enough to DISSECT my "dramatic" rantings about race/pride/culture. People would write to me: "I like you with ABM, but I can't wait for Cynique to tell your behind where to get off."
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 511
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2005 - 11:57 pm: |
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ABM: I know I do a lot of silly macho bragging. I’m sorry. I know I should stop. I try. But, honestly, I can hardly help myself. It’s just sort of a part of my ‘energy’ when I sign-on here.
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Henceforth, Sire ABM is forbidden to utter unnecessary apologies for being himself and keeping the ladies all aflutter with his braggodocio, double entendres, and randy rantings.
If the Buxom Maiden Mah ever appears to be chastising Sire ABM for such wily witticisms, let it be known that she is merely making merry at the dashing Sire's expense.
Mah has spoken.
As you were. |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 357
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 08:13 am: |
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I know I do a lot of silly macho bragging. I’m sorry. I know I should stop. I try. But, honestly, I can hardly help myself. It’s just sort of a part of my ‘energy’ when I sign-on here.
ABM, ditto, what Mahogany said. It's all in fun. No one comes here (solely) for serious information and enlightenment--there are plenty of other places for that.
So long as you can stand the heat, pull up a chair to the counter and stay in the kitchen with the women folk--and continue to throw in all the hot sauce you wanna. Anyone else get too hot and/or bothered can always go elsewhere. |
Cynnique
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 11:40 am: |
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If, for instance, you "ladies" don't mind a guy calling you a 'ho or a skank or a head-givin porn star or an ass-lickin freak, then have at it. Guess I'm a prude for believing that naughtiness is one thing; nastiness is another, especially since what is an insult to woman can sometimes be a compliment to a man, so the playing field ain't level. There's nothing I appreciate more than clever puns or subtle wickedness, but putting somebody in the toilet doesn't flush with me because it requires no imagination or wit, and amounts to being nothing more than a malicious put-down. Fun is fun, but I'm for ground rules. Yeah, Kola and I have had some really vile exchanges in the past, but it was mutually understood that there were no holds barred and we confronted each other on a equal footing because we were both female. Just my 71-cents worth. Carry on. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3100
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 11:48 am: |
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Ladies,
I appreciate your support. And, yeah Kola: We had a ball!
But maybe I should chill a bit on the sophomoric hijinks. Because although I like to joke around, I don't want to hurt anyone feelings.
I rather just leave things be than do that. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 512
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:00 pm: |
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Yikes, Cynique! I didn't realize how my post about ABM not apologizing may have come off to you. MY apologies to you.
ABM responded in an apologetic tone to something I said tongue-in-cheek, and this is not the first time this has happened. I only meant to clarify that he had no reason to apologize to ME going forward for his raunchiness. I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself, even though I see now that my "edict" could be construed as something broader.
I would never dream of commenting on whether or not you should feel insulted or tolerate what ABM, or anyone, says to you. That's not my place.
Again, my apologies, Cynique, and for the record, you are HARDLY a prude in my estimation. |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 361
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:02 pm: |
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For the record, I wasn't refering to you, Cynique, when I talked about folks getting out of the kitchen. (Just in case you thought that.)
We should all practice "safe and sane" cyber-relationships--analogous to "safe and sane S&M" (and other such things I've heard tell of). This, of course involves boundaries and mutual respect, and as Cynique says, ground rules. Maybe even with "safety words" that indicate to others when our lines have been crossed? If so, I'll make mine "thumbtack." (???)
Just a thought... *smile* |
Cynnique
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:23 pm: |
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I didn't really take what was written that personally but I just wanted to clear the air. And the last thing I want to do is to put a damper on things and turn this board into a playground for Polly-Annas. So, actually, everybody should just use their own discretion. (And in reponse to those who wondered if my husband reads this board, the answer is no. He claims he has better things to do, and, in fact, wishes I would find a better pass-time.) |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1185
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:29 pm: |
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ABM has never been "nasty" to me.
Well maybe once or twice, but I called him out.
I've always saw my bantering with ABM to be more in line with an ADULT version of the old t.v. shot "Moonlighting". There is always ENORMOUS "respect", "infatuation" and "playfulness" at the heart of our bantering----and THAT was what people vibed and got hooked into.
Smutt would never draw a crowd of black folks. It was the "sparks".
And yet...it was TOTALLY INNOCENT.
The truth is, I think ABM and I are two BORED middle-aged Family Oriented domesticated people "talking shit" on the INTERNET....because it's SAFE, it's ANONYMOUS and it's MAKE BELIEVE.
Now LAMBD was more the one talking about---"When you gonna give me some ass shots in the mail."
Plus ABM has ALWAYS flirted with "ALL" the ladies--no one was singled out (it's simply that I was more game and had chemistry with him). But a guy who flirts with ALL the girls and then signs off isn't looking for anything.
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Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1186
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:30 pm: |
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Cynique:
(And in reponse to those who wondered if my husband reads this board, the answer is no. He claims he has better things to do, and, in fact, wishes I would find a better pass-time.)
Kola:
Sounds like Thomas. LOL. He even FORBID me to come here.
Just imagine if he knew that I not only come here---but have my OWN BOARD!!!!
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 3103
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 12:55 pm: |
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Kola,
You are scaring me.
Because "Moonlighting" REMAINS one of my all-time favorite TV shows.
Bruce Willis can look down on it all he wants but that show still is one of the highwater marks of his career.
And he's NEVER has as much chemistry with any of his cinematic female co-stars as he had with his Moon' co-star Cybil Sheppard.
They were absolutely ELECTRIC together.
I agree I believe we are 2 foks who lament no longer being able to get into the kind of trouble we could years ago and use this cite as forum to safely relive such.
And, yeah, NOBODY whom I have every met here can accuse me of having pursued anything from them other than what's manifested here: Fun!
Hey. I admit, after look back a time or 2 that I've crossed the line. Its was never willful or premeditated. I probably just got in a flow of oneup(wo)manship that got outtah hand.
My occassional (or frequent) gaffe nothwithstanding, I've ALWAYS had the upmost regard for all of your thoughs/opinions. Truly, had I not, I'd seldom visit/post here. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1193
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:09 pm: |
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My word.
I LOOOOOOOVE "Moonlighting", too. I love Bruce and Cybill so much in that---I can barely accept them outside it.
LOL
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Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 1194
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:10 pm: |
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I looooooove Alease Beasley!!!
And the music!!
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