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Kola Boof
Unregistered guest
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:31 am: | 
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One of my good friends is the history-making gay activist Keith Boykin...in my upcoming autobiography I describe Keith as "the handsomest man in America" and write about exactly why I find his work to be so important and worthy of support.....but right now...I'm intensely anxious to find out what Black Women think of his new book "Beyond the DownLow".
This issue of the so called "down low sex craze" is one that we should definitely be discussing.
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Kola Boof
Unregistered guest
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:33 am: |
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KOLA's COMMENTARY:
To my understanding....the down low is supposedly a new phenomena among "STRAIGHT" black men who supposedly, in droves, are having wild compulsory sex with other "STRAIGHT" black men.
I don't buy it.
#1) Any man who can fuck both women AND men....is Bi-sexual......not straight.
#2) The epidemic of AIDS in the Black Community, in my opinion, is more likely the result of "promiscuous STRAIGHT serial Hip-hop fuckers"......THINK ABOUT IT......Hip Hop boys who have to PROVE their manhood by having "10 bitches" as they say--and without a condom----and then the rising mass of insecure black girls (made intensely insecure as the White society and upper class black men have now put the resounding message into the Media that a Black woman's worth depends almost entirely on her ability to....not be black).
In Black America...the "kids" run the parents, you notice.
There are no ELDERS here, and the few that do speak up, rarely address the real true issues that the young people of today face--and if they do speak up, ie. Bill Cosby---then they're expected to be "perfect" and "completely right"--rather than LISTENED TO just by virtue of being an Elder, so the result is.....nobody listens. And with all these Broken Homes, Non-Relationships and a [Dying Black Community] in general......and don't forget the Patriarchy and Blatant Sexism of a Hip Hop culture that promotes "promiscuity".....it's no wonder that black people are innundated by AIDS.
#3) Because of colorism and American society's non-acceptance of the Black woman in her natural form.....I see more STRAIGHT black women "creeping" into DESPERATE sexual encounters with other STRAIGHT black women.....than I see men engaging in this behavior. And I'm totally serious. My heart breaks as I interview young High School age girls and discover that many of them have no prospects for "boyfriends".....and are actually having sex with other girls, not because they want to, but because it's all they can get!!!!
As for the "down low"...........the MEDIA invented it....to further demonize black men, to scare America's White Daughters out of giving so much EASY SEX to black men (as they had been doing), and to stigmatize black women and the black community itself as "diseased" and undesirable.
MOST DEFINITELY.....we have a lot of Black Gay and Bi-Sexual men......but we also need to realize that the rampant Homophobia of both the Black Community and the Black Church....creates this synergy by making it impossible for Black Gays and Bi-Sexuals to come out and be who they are without being lynched, ostrasized and disowned.
When I did my last tour in Washington, D.C., I spoke with one of my favorite Uncles, a Christian Minister....and was heartbroken to learn that he was "CURING" homosexuals of their homosexuality and marrying them off to lonely black women and girls in his church.
All I could do was shake my head.
Black Women complain that there are no Black Males for them to marry/mate with....but they never EVER seem to notice that this is directly connected to generations of BLACK WOMEN's own self-hatred and that they are the ones "giving to birth" to weak sons who view blackness with the same....."stigma"....that many, MANY black women attach to it.
Notice the high number of "BLACK WOMEN" who cringe whenever you try to discuss the issue of "colorism"....or who languish in denial about the fact that Racism is...in actuality.....the Sub-Disease of Colorism. Even the old slavery days system PROVES that it was "COLOR" far more than "race" that dictated the hierarchy of the discrimination and evil carried out.
More than race....it has ALWAYS been about "color". Just compare Lena Horne's life in the 1940's to India Arie's in the 2000's----and contemplate which one had the most advantages and compare the TIMES they lived in.
It's mind-numbing.
But Black Women prefer to straighten their hair, bob their heads at concerts where colorstruck black men routinely pull white women up on stage and ignore anything that requires CRITICAL THINKING.
I have said to Black Women: "Give birth to the people that you need. Give birth to a new son."
But most Black American women detest an African woman (with something to say) in the first place. They'd prefer to take tea with a Chinese or an old wrinkled up Indian bitch (the one they CLAIM to have gotten their "African" cheekbones from).
They're all Indian, you know. Not Wolof or Serahuli or Ashanti.
You see them with BLOND hair in their heads, fake light eyes, always chirping about so and so has "nice hair"------notice the African superstar from Benin, Angelique Kidjoe and her BLOND nappy hair-do, notice how this dark African woman squeals and gives her white audiences the accomodating "monkey faces" they love so much---and notice how our dark skinned black women writers, Maryse Conde comes to my mind, almost always feature a Mulatto or Lightskinned "gray-eyed" Heroine and leading lady----and in daily living, you see Black women dutifully supporting those Black Men (think t.v.'s KEVIN HILL) who create disrespectful images and literally PISS on our heads and tell us it's raining....and the Black women pass this complacency onto their children and the children around them...................and then they don't understand why there are no black men who want to love, cherish and committ to a black woman.
The Down Low is BULLSHIT in my opinion.
The Black Community is ravaged by AIDS.....because the Black Community lacks a vision of "Self-Purpose" in general and is over populated with stubborn, class-minded materialistic people who refuse to acknowledge that....THEY.....are the "white devil" out to destroy black people, far more than anybody else.
I don't agree with everything that Keith Boykin says, and of course, because he's my friend, I am prejudiced in his favor......but I think that EVERY black sista should read his new book....to get a better understanding of this media creation known as "The Down Low".
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 32
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 09:03 pm: |
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10 Things You Need to Know About the Down Low:
http://www.thumperscorner.com/discus/messages/2152/2354.html?1107482549
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Jen
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 10:43 pm: |
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Kola, I agree with you that Keith is gorgeous. What say you and I ambush him, hold him down, and convert him to heterosexuality? LOL! I'm just kidding. Well....not really! Have you seen the pictures on his website? What a body!
Anyway, I am getting away from the topic, so let me get back on track.
Many Black women do succumb to America's color caste system, but I see hope there. I see more Black women than ever before being true to their natural selves and wearing dreads, sisterlocks, natural hair and loving themselves for who they are. True, there are just as many going blond, and I used to view this with dismay, but I don't anymore. The white female copies every nuance of our style and attempts to appropriate all of our physical attributes from full lips to big behinds to braids, cornrows and dreadlocks. So, if a Black female wants to try lightening her hair, why not? Now, I will agree - the blue contacts are just spooky. They make people look demon-possessed if you ask me.
Regarding giving birth to the people that we need and a new black man: I agree that black males would be stronger and love Black females more if they weren't listening to their mothers praise light-skinned, stringy-haired females and hearing that "good-hair/bad-hair" ignorance their whole lives. But even if you raise your son to love Black women, our sons are inundated with images of white, blond, blue-eyed beauty as the feminine ideal 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Can we prevail against mass media, movies, television, magazines, advertisements and, probably worst of all, black men who speak louder than all of these through their hurtful example of worshipping the white female and rejecting the black one?
Jen |
Answering You Back
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 10:56 pm: |
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Hi Jen, it's KOLA answering you back.
Black women most definitely have the ability to circumvent the affects of White Media,television,magazines and White Supremacist Examples set by Black Men.....IF THEY CHOOSE TO MAKE IT A PRIORITY TO TEACH THEIR CHILDREN WHAT IT IS AND WHAT CREATED IT.
Black people, prior to the 50's and 60's civil rights and Black Power movements DID IT.....and it resulted in their children rising up and fighting the power structure.
But we have regressed. Both in the U.S. and in Africa.
AND the largest part of that regression has been the Black Female herself, who often allows the MEDIA, the T.V. and everyone else to raise her kids...rather than herself.
The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.
BLACK WOMEN have enormous power--but do not value themselves enough to use it for their own ends.
So many of them tell me: "But I don't want to teach my child to be prejudice".
TOTALLY ignoring the fact that the entire power structure is teaching them to be prejudiced against HER every day of the week.
Black women, TO ME, are "weak".
They mistake being able to "endure" great burdens as being "strength", but that's not what strength is.
We need to go away from the rest of the society, as sisters, and Re-invent ourselves and also....MAKE USE of all these kids being born to single black mothers.
We don't have to keep feeding and producing "nigger" children who uphold White Supremacist society.
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 36
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 11:14 pm: |
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I suppose the biggest challenge....is educating Black Females themselves about their worth, their power and their "deserving" of existing.
That more than anything is the biggest challenge, because they generally don't want to hear it...and on top of that...they will listen to almost anyone but another black woman.
They're stubborn, blinded by heartbreak and self-hating.
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Jen
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 06:30 pm: |
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But, you see, that's just the problem. You can't "go away" or "get away" from the fact that this whole system is based upon white supremacy. There is nowhere to hide from it. Mothers rule supreme for a short time. Then we must send our children out into the larger world where they are influenced by peers, other elders, images, and the society around them. In other words, if the whole of American society and culture is geared towards making men of all races believe that Nicole Kidman is the epitome of beauty (and it is), there is not too much I am going to be able to do to fight that. Even among Blacks, who are the woman lauded as the most beautiful? The half-breeds. If you are not half-white or "mixed", if you have two Black parents, you are not considered as beautiful as any zebra that comes along.
Re Black females: You can educated them about their worth til the cows come home. The reality which I have learned firsthand is that we are at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to mate selection. "Last hired, first fired" so to speak. I consider myself to have a pretty decent amount of self-esteem, but no amount of self-esteem can erase that fact. |
Nyibol
Newbie Poster
Username: Africanqueen
Post Number: 4
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 12, 2005 - 01:39 pm: |
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Right on Kola! your commentary was great and very true! I've just got a few things to add here. African immigrants coming from Africa today, who when they arrive to America and see black people perm their hair and dial it blond or red do not find the look impressive; at least I didn't.
Ok, so the African immigrants stay here for a couple of years and realize that the black Amerian community is so much exposed to the permed, straightenned hair and blond, redish hair similar to that of the white, that they deny the natural african afro that's so easy to braid so they too do their thing and perm the hair and dial it blond. Our black people in America aren't being great examples to our true Africans when we make fun of them, leading them on to perm their hair and then turn around and tell them, "ok, now that's beautiful". Most of us black women are always igger to grow long hair, but what we don't realize is that when we put chemicals, the growth stops and this causes us to wear weave.
I think that even the white man knows a true black American beauty better than the black American community themselves. So when we deny and disrespect ourselves, the white man too will do the same. The slave trade never crossed the white man's mind until a black man started it.
The black men and women in America, who keep their African hair are the true beauty to me. Their corn rolls look is the look of a real black, African people. The people who are proud of their heritage and themselves end up living better lives and having better families. And those are the people that the world respect and recognize.
When you have the majority accepting to have a white person's features, it is hard and that's why an African immigrant immitate these looks because that is the only way they find acceptance in the black community of America. As a whole, African American or an African immigrant, we look bad in the face of God and the earth when we don't accept who we are. I've never thought in my life that an African American would ask an African immigrant, "why are you so black, why's your hair like that, is it cause yo mama black?" Just stupid irritating, stupid questions, that are just hillarious. We take it when we call ourselves niggers and ugly; yet when a white man does it, our eyes turn big and ready to strike. I don't think the white man's the problem here because the white man did not start slavery, we the black people did. This colorism war goes on among ourselves, and so the best thing to do would be to stop fighting ourselves before we could face somebody else. We look ridiculous in the face of the world because we refuse to represent who we are and be proud.
Kola, way to be brave and talk about these issues because no one seem to be capable of this in the black community world wide.
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Rashena Wilson
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Rashena
Post Number: 116
Registered: 08-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 16, 2005 - 09:06 pm: |
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Haven't read your comments but just wanted to ask if you all had seen the book On the Up and Up - A Survival Guide for Women Living with Men on the Down Low, written by JL King's ex wife??? I couldn't believe when I saw it on the table up in Harlem....here is the link...
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0758210752/qid=1108605959/sr=2-1/ref=pd_k a_b_2_1/103-9436503-9628612 |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 174
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 16, 2005 - 11:19 pm: |
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Hi Rashena,
That looks really interesting and I hope that people will support his former wife and "child" by getting a copy of the book and reading it.
I haven't read it, but I've heard that it's BETTER than J. L. King's book.
Totally worth a read.
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