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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2004 » Kola, can you please lend your expertise on this situation? « Previous Next »

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Justwrite
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Justwrite

Post Number: 101
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 01:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Please tell me what you think...

There's this man - he's married. There's this woman - she's married.

About seventeen years ago, the man and woman (teenagers back then) were very much in love, but never made love during the entire summer (she met him while visiting some relatives). After the summer ended, she had to leave and go home. He cried. She cried. They called one another and tried to do the long distance relationship thing until it played out. She soon found someone else, which she married. He soon found a whole lotta other females (you know men), until he eventually found someone to marry.

Seventeen years later...

He and the woman reunited. During their very first conversation after seventeen years, they fell in love again. They ditched their significant others and drove off to a secluded location where they talked 'til FOUR in the morning. They held each other. He tried to kiss her, but she resisted (you know how women play hard to get). She let him get a feel of the goods. They laughed and reminisced on old times...

Then, once again, she has to leave. Her husband is waiting on her back at the hotel, probably going crazy, wondering where she is, not to mention, they have to catch a plane back home in a matter of five hours (she and her husband were on a business trip out in the man’s home town).
The love-struck fellow vows to never loose touch with the female EVER again as they exchanged numbers. The female heads back to the hotel. At around 4:30am, her cell phone rings. It's him! She doesn't answer. He calls back. She still doesn't answer. At around 7:15am, his wife calls! She leaves a nasty message saying she busted her husband trying to call! She begs the woman to please call her back and tell her what's going on. Why is her husband, first off, coming in at 4:00am, and why is he calling the woman thirty minutes later? She also says that if the woman didn't call her back, she was going to throw her husband out! The woman gets scared. She hesitates, but calls the wife and tries to explain. Of course, she lies. The wife is somewhat buying it. The woman tries to cut the conversation short, since she's still trying to patch things up with her own husband for coming in late or shall I say extremely early. The wife ends the conversation by saying she's having his cell phone turned off since SHE pays the bill!

Needless to say, the phone calls didn't stop. The man found ways to still call the woman he claimed to be in love with. He called her from friend’s houses, other people’s cell phones, but mainly from pay phones. He called one, two, three, sometimes four times a day, talking for hours, professing his love for this woman. She tells him she loves him back. They both agree that they want to be together. They make arrangements to see each other. He flies up to her town and stays the weekend at a prestige hotel. God only knows what he told his wife. The woman makes excuses to stay out late to spend as much time as she can with him. For the first time EVER, the make love! Not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but every time he was able to get it up. Talk about lust! Wow! After the weekend, he left. Of course, they both cried, asking why they had to end up marrying other people. When he got back to his destination, he called the woman. They talked everyday that they were apart - even managed to talk all night one night (long story how they did it)! Soon, he began to dis his wife, leaving her for weeks on end just so he could talk to his soul mate. He picked fights with his wife so he'd have an excuse to go stay at his sister’s house. The woman began to get a little shaken, being that she really didn't want to leave her husband. Still, she found ways to pacify the man by entertaining his thoughts of the two of them being together. Guess you can say her teasing caught up with her. He upped and left his wife one day, and asked the woman if he could be with her forever. The woman was like "Whoa! How the hell does she get out of this one?" She stalled to hold him off for days. The man cried to her, begged to be with her, called her twenty times a day, asked her to marry him, even threatened that if she didn't be with him he would find her and hurt her. When nothing worked, he got mad and yelled, "I left my wife for you!" But wait! She never told him to do that.

The woman starts to feel sorry for him. She tells him that no matter what, she will never leave him as a friend - she just can't be with him the way he wanted her to. He doesn't want to, but accepts it. He tells her that he's going to always be in her life so she needs to let her husband know so that there won't be any misunderstandings. She thinks to herself, PUHLEASE! But tells him she understands.

Long story short, he goes back to his wife. SHE TAKES HIM BACK! The wife has a stupidity problem and the woman knows it. So, she teams up with the wife because she's now feeling bad that this looser of a man treats her like dirt. She apologizes to the wife for being with her husband and promises to make her aware of anymore phone calls from him. As time went on, the husband would sneak to phone booths to call the woman, and the woman would place him on hold and call his wife. She would tell his wife where he was and the wife would drive up and catch him on the phone. It was really funny! There they'd be talking, then all of a sudden, the man would say something about the phone messing up, then hang up. The woman would just laugh because she knew the truth.

One night he called her and she didn't want to be bothered. He was really annoying and didn't want to hang up. She found out his location, put him on hold, and then called his wife. Stupid wife she was! Can you believe she got out of bed and went to get her husband? The woman was thankful because now she could stop dodging her husband so he wouldn't catch her on the phone. Not even thirty minutes later, her phone rang just as she was getting into bed. It was him! What the hell was going on, she wondered. She heard his wife when she pulled up, so what was the problem? The woman answered her ringing phone and he starts a conversation like nothing had happened. She placed him on hold and called his wife, baffled. The wife explained that she was able to get him off the phone and into the car, but when they came to a red light, he jumped out saying he had something to do (call the woman back). Was the wife stupid or what?!!! Why did she continue to let this man treat her like this? The woman hung up with the wife. Now, she's really pissed at the idiot waiting for her on the other line. She clicks over and tells him to get his ass off the phone and that she'd talk to him later. It was hell, but he finally hung up, only to call back minutes later, leaving "I love you" on her voice mail.
A few days later, something clicked in the wife's head. No one knew where the strength came from, but she just all of a sudden had this I-ain't-taking-it-no-more attitude. She called the woman on her cell and told her that her husband was standing next to her, and that she had told him all about how they had been playing him. The woman's mouth dropped. She heard the wife scream, "I know all about you trying to get with her! I know all about it! If you want to be with her, take ya ass on!" For some reason, she wanted the woman to know that he had screwed her earlier that morning. “So, I don’t care how many times he calls you he’s still fu*&^%$ me!” The woman was slightly hurt, but when she heard the man denying it in the background, both she and the wife were like "No he didn’t!" This man had lost his mind! The wife yelled, "You're denying sleeping with me?! GET OUT!" The woman couldn't believe what was happening.

To this day, the man still calls the woman. They still share lengthy conversations. The woman can't understand his actions, though, and is very leery of him. This man claims he loves her, but she doesn't believe him. She doesn't know why, but she just doesn't. Love wouldn't make a person act like that, would it? This man has hurt his wife in more ways than one to be with the other woman. When the other woman didn't want him, he went back to his wife. If he loved the other woman so much, why did he go back to his wife? And if he really didn't love the woman, why did he want her so bad?

This is a bizarre story, but very, very true. I don't understand men, or their actions. Kola, you seem to be the expert here. What do you think about this situation? Where was this man's head at?
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A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon

Post Number: 908
Registered: 05-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 01:30 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

hahhahaha!! This story is FUNNEE AS HELL!! HAHHAHAHAHA!

Well, Kola, what's poppin with this threesome???
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 101
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 01:58 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hi JustWrite.

That is so.....saaaaad.

I'm just happy that "the WOMAN" character is not wrapped up emotionally, COMPETING FOR and IN LOVE with this guy...because

....he's WEAK...and his marriage is obviously based on him needing the type of woman who can be sort of like a "mother" for him(pick him up at phone booths), buy his affection (pay his cell phone bill), give him sex (although he clearly doesn't love her)...but of course, he hangs on to HER (like Puffy hangs on to stupid ass Kim Porter)...because that's his FALL BACK woman.

The desperate wife in this case..... who will put up with his shit, is devoted to him (because she's delusional) and really believes that if she just waits long enough, he'll discover that she DESERVES his love. Most women really think like that--that men CARE about what we deserve. SMH. His wife is pathetic, but then, so his he. But since he's a man, he'll probably die without ever knowing how pathetic he is.

But let's not forget...."the WOMAN"....cheated on her own husband. I can certainly understand why she did it, but that still leaves room for doubt about how she feels for her own husband. I've been tempted like that...and I couldn't live without myself if I had cheated on Thomas, so I always remembered that during the TEMPTING.

No matter how good the "connecting" is between lost naked souls....you have to live with what you did, and TO ME...."the WOMAN" isn't one for emotional depth. Does she love her husband?

If I was "the woman"---there is no way I would give this married whining guy the time of day. I don't even think it's good to be friends, because eventually,.....KARMA will catch up with "the WOMAN"...even if she is the STRONG one and the one in control. Payback is a Motherf___.

But I do give her credit for not letting her whole world unravel and for not competing for this married man.



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A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon

Post Number: 909
Registered: 05-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 02:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

whatever, I Still say it is HIL AR IOUS! HOW can people get all wrapped and twisted into a pretzel like this??? I really want to know.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 102
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 02:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, yeah A_WOMON it is "hilarious" if you're your age.

But wait til you're my age. You'll have so much more empathy and seriousness about LIFE and you'll realize just how SAD it is...for people to feel so unloved and NEEDY and to be willing to hurt other people....

for what?

But sure. It's hilarious on the surface.







Girl...STOP THAT GIGGLING. You bout to make me laugh, too.

***grinning*** with guilt.

OK IT IS FUNNY!!




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A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon

Post Number: 910
Registered: 05-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 02:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ok Ok Ok.......

Ok, Ima stop yall! .....NOT HAHAHAHAHA!!! :-):-):-)
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1601
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 02:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Justwrite,

If you don’t know where the "husband’s" "head" was at, well then, Baby Doll, you may need to get around a little more. The "woman" threw that whip-appeal down on’em and he don’t know quite howtah back up offah it.

But there was something about your story I find expecially intriguing. Let me understand: Some chick casually p*$$%whips your husband so tuff that he ups and LEAVES YOU. Yet, she not only don’t want him but she also allies with you to conspire against your estranged husband, whose major fault is he fell in love with...HER?

Please describe how/when THAT would occur?


Also, why is the "woman" in this story still taking dudes calls? What kinda medicine has SHE stop taking, anyway?



Kola,

DAYUM!

That was pretty COLD what you slipped in about P.Diddy and Porter.

Kola says: "But since he's a man, he'll probably die without ever knowing how pathetic he is."
ABM says: How true. The great part about being a guy is we can push all our $#*+ down on women, who are more than happy to wallow in our dung.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 104
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 02:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A_WOMON....

you always

ALWAYS

have my ass crack'n up. I just don't say anything.

Because you are SO IDENTICAL to me when I was young and full of life and sass.

Very funny and cute.

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Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo

Post Number: 135
Registered: 06-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 03:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

JustWrite said:

I don't understand men, or their actions. Kola, you seem to be the expert here. What do you think about this situation? Where was this man's head at?

What about the woman and her actions (the cheating woman)? But too, what about the woman who was cheated on and her actions? Where were their heads?

I am tempted to think that the victim all the way around was the woman who was cheated on.

The woman who did the cheating, cheated on her husband and used the other woman to her benefit and that was terrible.

Then, they are all victims in one way or another. Victims of love, ignorance, lust, trickery of the mind and heart and the unpredictable inevitability of consequence.

Terrible, but I don't think that the man is any more to blame, any more at a loss in the head than the women. So i'm interested Justwrite in why you asked only where the head of the man was and not the women involved?

Bleek-
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Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715

Post Number: 49
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 03:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

SHUT THE BUCK UP BLEEK!!!
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Brelei715
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Username: Brelei715

Post Number: 50
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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 03:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

hehehe, i'm just playing, hi bleekshonda....u shole is right, the woman is just as wrong (if not wronger by playing such horrible games...{now jesse you know that ain't a word}
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1603
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 03:58 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Bleekindigo,

I agree. It never ceases to amaze me how women can keenly identify the MYRIAD faults of men and yet can WHOLLY ignore the insanity of other women...who are themselves inextricably linked with those SAME crazy@$$ men.

The truth is ALL of these foks are ‘disturb’ in some fashion or another.

The guy is so ‘sprung’ wires are sticking out from atop his head. The wife is your classic long-suffering masochist. And the woman is a manipulative, passive-aggressive sadist (with, apparently, some mojo likah MOFO).


Justwrite,

Okay. I’ve just GOTTAH ask: You wouldn’t be the p*$$%whipping sistah in this ‘epic’ tale? Would you?

Hehe!
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 105
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 03:59 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Bleek and Brelei715 might have noticed that I wrote:

because eventually,.....KARMA will catch up with "the WOMAN"...even if she is the STRONG one and the one in control. Payback is a Motherf___.


***All that you two are saying, I stated in my answer.

Although...since this man and woman were Teen Lovers who never consumated their relationship, I can certainly understand how they felt so terribly tempted and excited at the prospect of some lost, dashed off love.

It's a temptation that many would have a hard time resisting.

As for the "wife"....I never sympathized with her, because her actions MORE THAN DEMONSTRATE what a desperate, clinging fool she's been and that something like this was bound to happen with her husband.

She should have left his ass long before "the WOMAN" came on the scene.




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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1604
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

You got it!

Ain’t NOTHING quite as alluring to a man is the one piece of p*$$% that he DIDN’T get decades prior. It is almost akin in gravity to Sir Lancelot pursuit of the fabled Holy Grail.

And since the object of his teenage puppy love apparently prove to be even better than advertised has flipped a switch in ol' boy that he can't turn off.
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Justwrite
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Justwrite

Post Number: 103
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I PLEAD THE FIFTH, ABM!
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Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo

Post Number: 136
Registered: 06-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Don't you think that when a woman allows such chaos to ravage her as did the woman in this case, that it is much more than her being a "desperate, clinging fool" that prompts such action or in her case inaction?

Maybe she doesn't need sympathy, but compassion. I don't know, I just think that there is a story behind a story, behind a story. It never just is.

For instance, you call yourself a slut because of your actions in your past (I disagree)but there is a story behind that isn't there? You weren't just a "slut" for "sluts" sake. Were you? There was a story -

I think that calling her a clinging fool or pathetic or desperate fool is too easy. Just like calling you a slut is too easy. No?

Bleek-



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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1606
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:29 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Justwrite,

Hmmmmm! I guess there more that's 'justright' about you than your literary talents, huh playah playah?

Hehe!


Foks,

Uh oh! It looks like Justwrite dun let her (kitty) cat out of the bag.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 107
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You're RIGHT Bleek,

Totally right.

I should have been more sensitive in estimating the Wife's NEED.

And I definitely should have more compassion...especially since my high and mighty ass may SOOON BE HER!

I'm sorry that I let my repulsion of her...cloud the very real circumstances that made her who she is.

Thanks for adding yet another spark of wisdom to this tragic tale.

And I hope that if JUSTWRITE, in real life, is "the WOMAN"---that she will stop being pals with the husband and try to atone before KARMA fires off a spear in her heart and mind. Because it's not worth it.

Especially if you've already got a husband that you love and adore.

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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1607
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Uh Oh, Bleek. Do you know PERSONALLY of what you speak?
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Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo

Post Number: 138
Registered: 06-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 04:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

No. I've never experienced that, that we speak of, but i've had my times where i've forgotten the Wonder in my Woman. But i's here naaw!!



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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1613
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 05:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Bleekindigo,

I understand.

Fortunately, I never forget the Super in my Man because, well, let's just say I have 'a friend' who 'hangs' with me that provides me with a constant reminder.

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