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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2004 » When Is a Sex Offender Not a Sex Offender? « Previous Next »

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A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon

Post Number: 808
Registered: 05-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 06:53 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

when he's white OF COURSE and he works in the state prosecutor's office!!!

I am soooooooo mad!! This guy here was terrorizing women for a number of months, it may have even be a whole year, where he would strip himself naked and jump out of the bushes wearing only a baseball cap and take photographs of women after scaring them, because he liked the looks on their faces.
He get's caught and when it was determined that he worked for the state prosecutor, they immediately started hushing it up though he was charged with over fifty felony accounts beforehand, the counts were reduced to misdemeanors, he got 18 months on WORK RELEASE in the county, so he gets to be a law clerk in his own private office during the day, and only has to sleep in jail! NOR does he have to register as a sexual offender, because his attorney said all he really did was a type of pornography and the judge agreed!!
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Miss_wysteria
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Username: Miss_wysteria

Post Number: 237
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 08:13 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

UHM.

And...

A sex offender is a NOT a sex offender....when he's a black musical genius (R. Kelly)....and Black women love "d**k" more than they love their own children.....and black men don't value little black girls so they could care less about someone urinating in their face or teaching them how to star in porn videos at 14......and the whole BLACK community supports this Child Molestor and makes his record sales go up.....and continue to send the message to the world....that Black Children are not to be "believed", "respected" or "protected"....and ESPECIALLY not little black girls.

That continues to grate on my consciousness.

The fact that our community is over-running with men with like R. Kelly and the community accepts and perpetuates it.



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Miss_wysteria
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Miss_wysteria

Post Number: 238
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 08:16 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think the R. Kelly debacle says more about US....and is one of the most horrible scars against our community since we let a court get away with the sentencing of Latasha Harlins's murderer to 5 years....PROBATION....because "she was scared of the little black child".

I feel so ASHAMED that black people are supporting, affirming and making R. Kelly into a SYMBOL of our now legendary NEGLECT our own children.





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Abm
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Username: Abm

Post Number: 1416
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 11:16 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A_womon,

That is one of the most bizarre thing I have heard of in recent memory. What has been the public response to what has occurred and how the prosecutor’s office has handled this? I would think that this is the kind of thing that could get the prosecutor formally censured if not suspended or even expelled from his (or her) post.

Can you PULEASE direct us to any links to news reports of this story. Because I’ve got to see THIS to believe it.


Miss_wysteria,

I agree that too often rapists/molesters of Black girls go unpunished. And the Black communities should band together to protect our daughters.

But all we have is a video tape where Kelly is having a sordid romp with what is allegedly a minor.female. Thus, I think the public’s view of this incident(s) has been compounded and curbed by the fact that NO ONE from the alleged victim’s side has openly confronted/accused Kelly of anything.

Why?

Is it because, as Kelly exclaim, nothing happened (I doubt that!).

Or has the family taken a heapin-helpin’ of hush money from Kelly (DING! DING! DING! Maam, you done WON a cupey doll!).

I think until there is a formal accuser comes forth and/or the IL officials stop dragging their feet and bringing forth a trial, the public will be forced to cut Kelly some slack. After all, we live in a society that claims that a man is "innocent ‘til proven guilty".

Right?
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Miss_wysteria
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Username: Miss_wysteria

Post Number: 240
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 11:34 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM

IRREGARDLESS of that girl's rotten family....which we KNOW is rotten from the things she's doing at 14.....

...our community routinely allows and accepts grown men to have sex with, pursue underaged young black girls....TO USE for SEX....ruining those children's entire lives and further debilitating the community and filling it with trashy women who are so confused and emotionally deformed it takes them until they're 45 to get a grip.

And R. Kelly was found GUILTY when his sick, sorry ass was seen BY ME ....clear as day.....on VIDEO having sex with and urinating on a 14 year old child.

There are photos from around the country with him in sexual states of undress with OTHER underaged girls. In particular, a 14 year old in Florida.

BLACK MEN refuse to set an example against this behavior...refuse to protect our children in a PUBLIC WAY (this would have been the perfect opportunity to send a message)....and continue to make the same lousy, rotten excuses that you're offering for why they can't provide LEADERSHIP and FATHERHOOD to their own children, but can go marry some white pregnant woman (singer SEAL) who was deserted by the baby's WHITE father...so that some little WHITE CHILD can be saved from fatherlessness and be protected by his traditional guardian---his black slave.

The BLACK COMMUNITY ain't worth a shit for allowing this incident with R.Kelly or the sentencing of Latasha Harlins to..."go unabated"....it just gives PERMISSION for more indescretions and more hateful mass victimization of BLACK CHILDREN...because we don't VALUE them like White people value their children.

Which is exactly what it is.

I don't give a shit what you say.

That twisted sick m/f is just our community's latest GLORIFIED CHILD MOLESTOR....and the Black Community is INFAMOUS for closing ranks to protect the image ANY black man at all costs...even when he's GUILTY AS SIN.

And that NIGGERS for ya.





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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 11:58 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Personally I like R Kelly's music but that has nothing to do with how I feel about what he did to those young girls. Yes, he was wrong for that and unfortunately he will continue to be wrong until he is able to admit what he did, take responsibility for it and get help. He is not perfect, no one is. All people have issues and they will continue to have issues as long as THEY {personally} ignore and deny them. Being a sexual abuser is just as bad as being a drug or acohol abuser. It is a sickness and the only way to get over that sickness is to get help. In order to get that help you have to be willing and you also need people to encourage you. Negativity produces nothing but... Negativity.

Now to address your feeling ashamed that people are supporting him what you should feel ashamed about (and this is not to attack your character)is what we all should feel ashamed about. We all have a very bad tendency of placing judgement and stereotypes on people when it is not our place. We all have the right to our opinion but that does not give us the right to judge others. What makes you think that just because I like his music that I, nor anyone else, doesn't beleive what happened? And what makes you think I love d*#k more than my children? How do you know the ENTIRE black community supports him? I actually know of a few who do not. And is R. Kelly really the blame on 'our now legendary NEGLECT of our own children?

I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was smaller, I can't blame anyone else but that uncle. I do not blame my mother...who was also abused by that uncle, nor do I blame her sisters who where also abused by him. I blame him, he is responsible for his actions. What I do is, I take responsibilty for stopping the cycle...Thanks to the 'SAY STOP, NO, GO AND TELL' program that came to my school when I was in the 5th grade, I was able to speak up. Until that day I thought what he was doing was OK. I didn't know it was wrong until that program. I guess what I am saying is that the blame of 'the NEGLECT of our children' should be blamed on SILENCE. The lack of communication is the down fall of our society. We talk, but we don't talk about the right things. If only we had communication then my mother's mother's mother would not have had my grandmother @ 14, and my mother's mother wouldn't have had my mother @ 15 and my mother would not have had me @ 14. Because of communication, when I turned 15 {and all the family members that lacked it and were looking to see how far and when my belly would stick out} I did not become a mother. Because of communication I was able to tell what my uncle did and he was therefore not able to get to my sisters, little cousins and the generations that will come after them. I bet if we all stopped placing judgement and began to communicate (not scream and yell...talk) we would be a better people.
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss_wysteria,

Okay. I feel yah. But I guess I’m saying this. Had one of MY daughters been Kelly’s (alleged) victim, Kelly would have more pressing matters on his mind than whether or not he should tour with Jay Z. ALL YAWL would sure as HELL would know who ol’s ABM is then...by witnessing me on the nightly news being drenched in Kelly’s warm blood.


See. You refer to the community’s responsibility. But how the HECK can I as a Black man affect any standards on Kelly when it seems this child’s own family ain’t battling for her like dey ‘spose to. And it is that kind (greed-inspired) indifference that cause foks who otherwise would do more to stay put.

When this story first broke, I remember seeing some foks, some earnest looking Black men, demand the immediate censure/punishment of Kelly. I heard/read calls to discontinue playing his music. But as these brave people stoutly tried to defend the honor of a child they had never even met, the child’s own family quietly remained abscond in silence.

What message does THAT send to otherwise decent/responsible people: Stay the F*#$ out of this cuz we trynah git paid...BEYATCH!


Miss_wysteria says: "I don't give a shit what you say."
ABM says: Yeah. Right. We BOTH know that you dote on my every word. Hehe!
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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:15 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

WOW...Miss W. Don't you thing if you had said that statement in a more positive way it would have had a greater impact? Being so confrontational just makes it a ...confrontation.
Once again you have no right to judge. You are not God and you are not perfect. No one is. And it's not just R. Kelly and it's not just Black men...White men (and even women) can be a sexual abuser. Megan's Law was made because of a white man, not a black one. And isn't it self evident that white people cover up crimes more than black people do? For you to be such an 'educated' person, sometimes ignorance takes you over. Last but not least...do you know what a NIGGER is? It is an ignorant person which not only are you qualifying for right now, but a purple, a red, a green and even a WHITE person can be!!!
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei715


I respect your opinion.

But my GUT REACTION to reading your post...was that you're another PASSIVE, weak person of the black community who doesn't know how to make DECISIONS...set rules of conduct and ACT on them....and who refuses to arrest your COWARDICE and "DO SOMETHING" SOLELY in the interest of protecting black children.....and this is why our children are out of control, 70% fatherless (because of WEAK blas'e mothers who "just don't know what to do, people make mistakes)...and can't trust their own elders.

You say R. Kelly makes good music. In fact...that was the FIRST thing you mentioned.

So what.

Maybe that 14 year old girl could be a doctor, a writer or a caring, COMPETENT mother one day.

I am also a victim of sexual abuse...and later... I ran away from home at 17 to KEEP the black man who tutored me English from going to prison for statutory rape.

You said all that you said, like the typical weak black inner city female....yet didn't offer A SINGLE plan of action for our children and our children's welfare.

Because of the MEDIA...the image of our ENTIRE community is pretty much that we all condone R. Kelly's behavior....in fact, his record sales skyrocketed AFTER he was charged with these crimes and AFTER the videotape was viewed by millions.

Regardless of your "passive" response, the WORLD VIEW that we are sending to our children is that we CONDONE this incident and that we support R. Kelly.....because he "makes good music".

For the record...HITLER could play the hell out of a piano.

And as I said before, as the COMPETENT mother of 2 black children....this whole incident is only one more indication of how much we HATE and DEVALUE our own black children and FAIL to protect them.

R. Kelly belongs in PRISON.



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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I totally agree with you Abm. You don't got ish to do with what R. Kelly did and I'd be a fool to blame you for his shortcomings.

And had that been my child, I would have taped me beating him down. Ain't enough money in the world to compete with my daughter's happiness and well being... but according to Miss W. there is enough d*#k to do so...lol. You know us black women love it!!!
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Miss_wysteria
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Post Number: 246
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

That's right Brelei715.

I don't care what the FAMILY allowed to happened to their own child....

....THE BLACK COMMUNITY...

....has proven that it ain't shit....just by the fact that we aren't in the streets INSISTING that this CHILD MOLESTOR be put in jail .....and setting AN EXAMPLE in front of our children and in front of the MEDIA...

....to send the message that we LOVE our children and will not tolerate "BLACK CHILDREN" being exploited and abused by ANYONE.

I noticed that when a similar incident happened here in Fountain Valley within the KOREAN COMMUNITY....that whole damned town ROSE UP against the "Korean Tennis Coach" that was "making tapes" with a 14 year old girl (who was also confused)....and DID NOT STOP until his ass was grass. They don't play that shit, because they're A VILLAGE and they care about their children and THEY...not the children...but THEY run their communities and set the examples.

So...yeah, you're damned right.

That's the kind of BLACK MOTHER I am.

I don't put "good singing and some d*ck" in front of the WORTH and SAFETY of black children.




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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss W.,

I never said he did not belong in prison. I never said he wasn't guilty. I beleive he was but that is not my decision to make. I was not put on a jury panel to decide that man's fate. neither were you so our say so is irrelavant. I do have to say that your name calling makes me laugh. why is it that who ever doesn't agree wholeheartedly with you is PASSIVE, WEAK, and blah blah blah. And you claim to be a compotent mother...let me show what a compotent mother says...AS A LOVING MOTHER KNOWING HOW HARD IT IS TO RAISE 2 CHILDREN IN TODAYS SOCIETY, I WILL NOT, NOR WILL I EVER DISREPECT ANOTHER MOTHER RAISING HER CHILDREN. THAT IS BENEATH ME. CHILDREN ARE GIFTS FROM GOD AND IT IS NOT ONLY A PRIVELEDGE BUT AN HONOR TO BE A MOTHER. I HOLD THAT POSITION AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF RESPECT. NO MOTHER SHOULD EVER BE DENIED IT.

Now to address you issue, you need to re-read the statement, better yet let me just re-say it...

Personally I like R Kelly's music but that has nothing to do with how I feel about what he did to those young girls.

Now you said you fled to avoid the man who tutored you in English from having to go to jail. Is that because he was having sex with you before you turned 18. So in essence he is the same as R. Kelly. just because he tutored you doesn't give him a pass to abuse you. Are you considered to be as ROTTEN as the other girls family because you did not put him in jail?

Also did you know that Osama bin Laden was an awesome violinist?
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Miss_wysteria
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Post Number: 249
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss W.,

I never said he did not belong in prison. I never said he wasn't guilty

****


THANKS FOR THE CLARIFICATION.

That's all I wanted to hear.

YOU CAN KEEP THE REST.



OH....and yes, I know all about Osama Bin Laden.

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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Like i said put it in a more positive way...

I beleive and have always beleived that it takes a Village to raise a child. I feel that we as the black community are failing to protect and correctly educate our children. We need to come up with a better solution to raise our boys to be men and our girls to be women.

Miss W. why don't you take all of that negative energy you have and turn it to something positive. I also beleive that you reap what you sow and all that negativity and the lies you tell will just return unto your children or your children's children or even your children's children's children. BREAK THE CYCLE GIRL, BREAK IT!!!
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:54 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Breis SAID:

Now you said you fled to avoid the man who tutored you in English from having to go to jail. Is that because he was having sex with you before you turned 18. So in essence he is the same as R. Kelly. just because he tutored you doesn't give him a pass to abuse you. Are you considered to be as ROTTEN as the other girls family because you did not put him in jail?

I SAY:

I was 17...and ran away to keep him from going to PRISON and didn't finish high school, never went to college...because TO SURVIVE as a runaway....I started living with a 43 year old WHITE BUSINESSMAN who got me my own apartment and continued serving me the "exploitation" that I was USED TO and by then...TRAINED FOR.

That's the reason I totally know what to do NOW at 36...and as a MOTHER.

THE FACT IS....."MY PARENTS" did the right thing by attempting to put my tutor in Prison....and at 17....I'm now 36.....but at 17....what in the hell did I know?

Obviously not much. Because back then...I was weak and apathetic, too.

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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 12:58 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Does anybody find it funny that a certain person doesn't want to read the entire response because they were proved wrong and ignorant. And how did they get to the Osama part without taking in the rest. And do we all see that a certain person also agrees that they know all about him including that he was a great violinist...funny part is i made that up!!! wouldn't a person who actually knows all about him correct me and say that he indeed does not play the violin!!!

SOMEBODY'D BUUUUUUSSSSSTED. and it took me less than a week...lol.
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei715

There's nothing NEGATIVE about being "passionate" about the protection of Black Children.

There's nothing NEGATIVE about calling a CHILD MOLESTOR just what he showed himself to be...ON VIDEO.

There's nothing NEGATIVE about being frustrated and angry with Passive, Apathetic Members of the VILLAGE (which does not exist in Black America) who refuse to react with ACTION and CLARITY to get JUSTICE and PROTECTION for innocent children.

There's nothing NEGATIVE about a WOMAN having "clarity" and "self-determination".

So please save your compartmentalizing and your psycho-babble for your own PASSIVE personality.

My personality is DIFFERENT.

And I'm still...RIGHT.





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A_womon
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ok now, back to the NAKED PHOTOGRAPHER yall! haha!

Don't you think that it is beyond BIZARRE. That this man only got 18months work release? AND didn't have to register as a sex offender? You should have HEARD how they was crucifying him on the news until he got caught and turned out to be who he was...

ABM,
sorry I don't have any links, but I will keep my eyes open for one. I'm calling the TODAY show and letting them know about this!
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Actually...Osama Bin Laden...DOES play the violin and not badly.

He's also a great poet.

And an expert Horse Breeder.


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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss W.

I give you that, at 17 you would not have known what to do. That is actually my point. You can see the error of your ways and be sympathetic because you walked in your shoes so why do you not show that same sympathy to the next person? Do you deserve something more that someone else? Should I think less of you because you were 17 and I was 10? And being that you know that we as young black women are USE TO and TRAINED for the abuse we substain, wouldn't it be better (easier even) to become a positive role model for them. Instead of knocking them and their families, why not love them, respect them, teach them. To just call them names and try to put yourself above others does nothing but continue the cycle of our destruction and start new ones never meant to be broken. when we as people attack ourselves we are in essence no better than the 'slave master' who did the same. WE SHOULD NEVER FORGET WHERE WE CAME FROM BECAUSE IT STOP US FROM WHERE WE ARE TO GO.
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Chrishayden
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

All:

It's not about the crime it's about who commits it.
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A_womon
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Amen...now...naked picture taker...
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The only thing BUSTED around here Brelei715 is the failure of women like yourself to see the wisdom and forthrightness in what I've said.

Rather than put the concern of "black children" first...you'd rather get into a PERSONAL fight with Kola, because once again---to go along with "good music" (ie. Osama's wonderful mastery of the Violin and R. Kelly's DICK songs), you have to vindicate....THAT WHICH CAN'T POSSIBLY BE VINDICATED.

Your "personal attacks" come from your insecurity and the fact that you're EXACTLY what I just said you are....weak, apathetic, passive.

You can't even NAME "a certain person".

How mundane and anemic you are.

And I'm still.....RIGHT.

So say what you will, but the fact is....your own ignorance shows in the children.

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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

you are right a.woman...how did this turn into a R. kelly forum. yes i feel that it is waaaay beyond bizare that it happened like that. i have never heard of anything so dumb in my life. he should definately have gotten some time (especially post 9/11) and should be at the top of that list. as for me children are children, black white purple green, we are put here to protect them not harm them.

Miss W...how many languages do you speak?
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss Brelei715


Don't dare put words in my mouth.

I haven't KNOCKED the 14 year old girl.

I knocked her family....who unlike mines.....TOOK MONEY to be quiet and say nothing and not pursue this matter. They're WORSE THAN TRASH.

And my insistence that something BE DONE about R. Kelly in NO WAY precludes anyone from showing love, acceptance and TEACHING to any of the parties involved....that's all good AFTER WE DO SOMETHING.....I even have love and compassion for Mr. Kelly. But first, he's got to be made an example of...because he's IN the spotlight.

And this entire SPOTLIGHT means that whatever we do...is a symbol of us, our community and a message ABOUT us and our children.

You're not savvy enough to see the crucial moment in that.

This is how I community got fucked up in the first place---BAD PARENTING and people making excuses and not being WILLING to put their foot down and REACT....and react....."loudly".

And furthermore, as I told you earlier--I told you that I had been molested much younger and then lost my virginity at 17 to my tutor. Your POINT in no way coincides with what I was saying.

All you're doing is "waffling" on the issue and trying to PRETEND that my position is some radical stance.

It's pure common sense and motherwit. That's my position.

And I'm still....RIGHT.




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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss W,
I beleive i said that your comments would have more of an effect if you put them in a more positve and less confrontational way. If you think it's right to attack people and call them names then that's on you. Personally I think you are full of it but that's not my call. I guess I have to practice what I teach my children which is to IGNORE AND DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN SILLINESS (IGNORANCE IF YOU WILL).
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:22 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And I speak a Quarter of the languages...that Mr. Bin Laden speaks.

ONE QUARTER.

We can do Tikrit if you like.


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Brelei715
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:29 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

what is your definition of BAD PARENTING and how does that affect anyone on this board? do you know of anyone here with bad parenting skills? as for me being a good parent ALSO includes being able to see and know there is ALWAYS room for improvement. I will argue to the death that my mother was the best mother in the world (i have freinds who agree) but she will tell you she did something that she doesn't feel was of a good parent. My sister and I see it differently, I guess my point is at sometime, something you do can be considered BAD PARENTING even if it doesn't seem so at that point.

I love my children and I feel that I am a GOOD parent but I know I'm not the best. I will never be the best, I can only DO MY BEST.
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Miss_wysteria
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 01:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

...


OK....out of respect for A_Womon, I have nothing further.

And Brelei715...I APOLOGIZE to you.

I honesty didn't mean to get into a spat/tiff with you.

I think we basically agree and that's the important thing for our children.

It doesn't help our kids if you and I are fighting.

So please forgive and excuse me from the ring.

Nice day.

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A_womon
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 02:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thank you Ms W. NOW naked photographer????
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 02:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Miss_wysteria,

I think all the trepidation concerning human sexuality is, sadly, what perpetuate the problem.

For example, these "rape shield laws" would appear to be a good idea. They (presumably) ‘shield’ the female from possible embarrassment and ridicule. But they also help contribute to perpetuating rape/molestation. Because as long as we allow women to cower in shame over what has happened to them, something that is NOT their fault, we breed a culture in which other women will be similarly frightened to stop from happening to other what has happened to them.

I think that any woman who has been sexually abused should be URGED to to openly exclaim what has happened to them and without equivocation defiantly face and point the finger their accuser.

Doing that accomplishes 2 things: it cows a coward (because, really, anyone who molests/rapes a woman, ESPECIALLY child, is by definition a m*#$%&f*#$ing coward) and it shames the rest of us into ‘growing-up’ and doing something about what’s going on.

Also, most if not all men are immediately suspicious of and bother by the notion of being publically accused of something while our accuser faces no such scrutiny. So these "shield laws" heightens that suspicsion, which further creates antagonism towards the victim.

Like your yourself did as a child, females too often cloak themselves in these twin vails of secrecy and shame. So the one time offender becomes the +100 offender. And the one victim becomes the +100 victims.


PS: You must be somekinda champ, gal! Cuz you've got challengers crawling out from undah dah woodworks.


Brelei,

I beg to differ with you. I happen to think R.Kelly is the living devil. I really do.

Preying upon defenseless children is a special kind of evil. It if FAR worse than that of alcohol or drug abuse of whom the biggest looser is often the abuser him or herself. And even the drug dealer is primarily an elective evil whereby one at least initially chooses to partake.

But what you (allegedly) have with R.Kelly is a grown man who has a pattern of using/abusing people who are mentally/physically incapable of fully taking care of themselves.

And I’ll never listen to ANY of his music again (no matter how good Brelei claims it to be) nor do I allow my DAUGHTERS to.
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Cynique
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 04:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A little stir here in R. Kelly's hometown of Chicago when a week or so ago, a black female newspaper columnist chastised the wives of the Democratic Black Caucus for featuring R. Kelly as special guest at a fund raiser they sponsored. Their excuse was that he was a good draw, and rumor had it that these women were all fawning over him. Another interesting tid-bit around town, is that although his late mother was a school teacher, "R" is functionally illiterate, hardly being able to read. How ironic that his being able to at least sing has garnered him fame and fortune.
A-womon, this photographer sounds more like an exhibitionist than a sex offender, a crime which is apparently a misdemeanor.
Hi, Brelei. You go, girl!
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 05:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Cynique,

Interesting insider's baseball. Just goes to show you, it is not what the devil do that is most harmful. Rather, it is that he awakes that demon dormant within that indeed seeks to destroy us all.

I have read that many if not most of Chicago public school teachers can't pass basic proficiency tests. So it doesn't surprise me that a scion of a Chicago teacher would himself be academically bereft.
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Cynique
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Posted on Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 11:23 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm inclined to think that Kelly's illiteracy has more to do with a learning disability than the calibre of Chicago's teachers.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 10:12 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Cynique,

REALLY? Why, pray-tale, would you be "inclinded to think" THAT? Because evil though he may be, her HARDLY appears to have a "learning disability"...other than he's apparently failed to 'learn' to stop having having sex with minors.
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 11:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm,

You have the right to your opinion and your decision to not ever listen to his music again. That however is not going to make or break that man. It is not going to change the decision that he made and it's not going to help that young lady in anyway. What I think you and Miss W may have concieve is that I was promoting his music in which I was not. I was simply stating that because I like his music DOES NOT MEAN I THINK IT IS OK WHAT HE DID. I do not. Personally I beleive that is one of the lowest things you can do on earth...molest, abuse, rape a child. It is a disgust. When all this stuff jumped off I too said 'I ain't never listening to him again' {until I heard that song with him and Cassidy}. I was even mad when BET had Jaheim share his award with him. You can't have 2 winners for the Artist of the Year!!! My best freind and I got into it with my sister and best freind because thier reaction was 'shoot i would have did him too'. What alot of people need to understand is yes, these men should know better and no matter what a little girl (under age 18) wears, says or does they should be man enough, adult enough to decline and put them in their place (same with married and committed men). But what we also know is that men are very weak minded (no that is not an excuse) and if you put 'it' in their face they will take it. In essence what I strongly beleive we as THE VILLAGE need to start #1 treating ourselves with the respect we deserve, if we accept being treated like and acting like a bytch or a ho or a thug, esc. then that is what our children will think is OK (that is not to dis anyone because I too have issues i need to work out). #2 We need to teach our little girls their self worth and how to treat themselves and others with respect. We need to teach our little boys how to be men, REAL MEN. If daddy has 10 girls and 8 baby mommas...what do you think little Javon will do when he grows up. And what about little Javonna...she'll think it's Ok to be one of them girlz (chicken heads) or babymamas. TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE/SHE SHOULD GO AND HE/SHE WILL NEVER STRAY FROM IT. If daddy beats mommie, then little johnny will beat his wife too, or better yet little jenny will allow herself to be beat. That is where you reap what you sow comes in. If you want your child to be a respectable, loving, caring, well established human being, then you must be one. Children lead by example. And yes there are exceptions to the rules, some children come up out of the worse situations to become a 'success story' but some is not enough. ALL CHILDREN SHOULD BECOME A SUCCESS STORY.

PS. Abm...how many times have you done something your mother/father said not to. You may not ALLOW your children to listen to R. Kelly's music but that does not mean they DON'T listen to it.

Also no sin is greater than another. If you sleep with 'HER' husband and I 'think' of sleeping with 'HER' husband then I am just as quilty as you are. What am I saying? No being an acholol abuser or a drug abuser does not make you better than a sex abuser. All 3 are human, and all 3 need help.
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 11:24 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh and hi Cynique, thanks.

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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei,

You have EVERY right to feel about Kelly and his music as you do. But then don’t come crying to me later about how he or some MOFO like’m dun had sex with your 12 years old!

We can’t have it BOTH ways!

Sorry. But I find it hypocritical for us to b*#$%-n-moan about our wayward children, lawlessness and the lack of standards/ethics THEN sway to the (demon-spawned) tunes of someone who helps inspire/perpetuate what we decry.

And usually, I am an innocent-til-proven-guilty sort, especially when it comes to Black men. I grew up in conditions similar to those of Kelly. So I know how a brothah can get unfairly caught-up. But it was proven 10 years prior that Kelly ran off with and illegally married a 14-year Aaliayah.

So Baby, where there’s enuff smoke, there’s GOT to be some fire!


Don’t you see that your reverbing that "men are weak-minded" BS explains WHY this crap happens to in our communities to begin with?

And Kelly could likely have millions of willing GROWN women, of every beauty/nationity/shape/variety/color. So WHY must he prey upon people who are not physically/mentally/emotionally prepared to engage in behavior as adult as that of allowing another to p*$$ on them (for CHRIST SAKE!)? And why/how could another grown person, especially a woman/mother, rationalize that evil?

I’m am ALL for the "village" raising and "teaching girls respect" deal. I live by that stuff E’RDAY. But there are certain things that an adult should know he or she ain’t ‘spose to be doing with a child, no matter how that child tries to induce them otherwise. And if that adult flauts our morals/laws to the tune of molesting/raping children, we should punish his/her *$$ with EXTREME prejudice!


Look. I ain’t EVEN out to BREAK him per se. But I ain’t out to MAKE him either. I’ll leave THAT honor to foks like you. And while you do that, I’ll be looking out MOFO’s like him trynah prowl around my young daughters/nieces. And if I catch one just right, ain’t an a bodyguard, bank account or BET award that’s gonna save him from my digging-down-deep-all-up-in that *$$! And whoever tries to stop me is liable to catch hellfire too!

Yes. It is likely true what I do will not affect what he does in the least bit. But I can choose to live/love as I choose to and offer to my family and fellow citizen some image of a Black man is more apt to care and nuture Black children than destroy them.


PS: I guide/advise my children to pursue the light. But I have LONG SINCE accepted that only they and GOD ALMIGHTLY will ultimately determine where and how far they go.

PPS: I can’t qualify/quantify "sins". I leave that to GOD as well to decide. But the most dear/precious blessing that we human beings will ever enjoy is our children. Thus, to me, any one who would harm or spoil them are committing an offense...or "sin"...of profoundly mortal proportions.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei (& R Kelly fans),

BTW: I have NEVER been especially impressed with R Kelly's music to begin with. I find it to be uninspired, hackneyed, electronically doctored-up, fakewannabe Soul/R&B.

And I felt that way LONG before I was aware of his sexual depravity.
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm

you need to take you stuff down about 10 notches. first of all my daughter is 7 not 12 and i am insulted and disgusted by what you said. I couldn't even get into reading the rest of your response because of the way you presented it. you are reading way to deep (but yet not deep enough) into what i said. my response to you did not in anyway require that type of response. what type of woman would wish or declare abuse on a child....when some mo'fo like r kelly blah blah blah. that was so uncalled for and not expected from you. bottom line is i beleive in what i said, STOP BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE AND STEP UP TO THE PLATE. we as black people always blame others, and i am not say nor did i ever say what he did was correct. are you not seeing that??? what i did say and i still say whether you or i or anyone else buy or not buy his records will not solve the situation. whether you and i or anyone else argue over what's right and what's not is not going to make this world a better place. and you sitting here wishing sexual abuse on my innocent children is definately not going to bring about anything positive. and if you truly truly beleive you can not qualify/quantify sin then why are doing so? YOU said being a sexual abuser was worse than any other type of abuse when GOD cleary states that NO ONE MAN IS WITHOUT SIN, HE WHO IS NOT CAST THE FIRST STONE.

you sure are throwing a lot of stones these days.
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

and just to inform you and anyone else, i have been abused as well as many many people in my family and just because we were abused that does not give us the right to be bitter and nasty towards people. i've always beleived what does not kill you can only make you stronger. i do not wish being abused on anyone yet i do applaud those who have been through it and can hold their heads up high.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 01:59 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei,

Oh pardon me. But I am talking to a GROWN woman, aren’t I?

JEEZ! You PC police kill me! Nobody can say ANYTHING without yawl wanting to cite/fine somebody for sharing an HONEST opinion.

What are you so "insulted" about anyway? That I have the audacity to vigorously NOT allow me/mine to be f*#$ed by degenerates like R. Kelly? If THAT’s the case, then I ‘spose I be right-proud that I have caused you to be "disgusted".

Foks like you all need to stop staring at trees in front of’em long enuff to see that burgeoning forrest fire that is raging in the nearby distance.

Where-o-where did I say that you "...wish or declare abuse on a child. Or where to I "...wishing sexual abuse on [your] innocent children" (for CHRIST SAKE!)? It must have been in another life, because it sure as tooting wasn’t in THIS ONE, flava.

No. I in essence said if we ALLOW the Kelly’s of the world to carry on as they have, we are effectively putting at risk our own.

And Baby, I’VE been stepping up to the plate like a MOFO. You should be so lucky to become acquainted with others like me. But to do so, I patently DISAGREE with your "i still say whether you or i or anyone else buy or not buy his records will not solve the situation..

I think everytime we - you, myself and everyone else - listen to and buy his music, we give not-so-subtle license to EVERYTHING else he is/does. We give him MORE money to ‘buy’ favorable treatment from the police, procecutors and law makers. We give him awards/honors that obfuscate the evil he’s doing. We encourage our ownselves and others to minimize and even forget the fact that (in all likelihood) R. Kelly had illicit sex with, p*$$ed on and could have even possibly impregnated give HIV/VD to a 14 year old child!

MY DAUGTHER IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!

So you GD right I am SEETHING with anger EVERYTIME I think about him. Because that MOFO would in all likelihood would try to do to mine what he did to that hapless young girl.


And what chance at all do we have to protect our kids if we DON’T "...argue over what's right and what's not is not going to make this world a better place."?


Ain’t know body BLAMING nobody. But a crime is a crime. And, in my mind, a crime against children is an even WORSE CRIME. With all possible respected, My Sistah, I find it astounding that a Black mother of young children - and, sadly, one who has HERSELF been abused - can even suggest or infer otherwise.


PS: I simpathize with what happened to you. I will sincerely pray that you have found or will find physical/emotional/spiritual recovery from what was done to you. But the truth is, if somebody had called-the-thundah done upon that fiendish relative of your EARLY in his evildoing, it is possible that YOU might never had have to suffer his evil to begin with.
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A_womon
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ANd I give you BIG UPS BRE! You are a survivor for REAL! To go through something like that and to still have a positive outlook is beyond AWESOME girl!!

BUT

I used to love me some R Kelley, but after reading about his latest offense and knowing that he CONTINUES to go after young girls like it aint nothin, I will NEVER buy another one of his CD's nor go to any of his concerts! and he will be here soon I think. I could care less. Until he admits that what is doing and has done in the past is sick and wrong and that he needs HELP and then seeks help, he is nothing more than a paid child rapist to me, so I am not going to help him stay on top by buying his ish, I don't care how talented he is.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A_womon,

Thanks for the (albeit rare) co-sign. :-)


BTW: Lambd told me your "BUT" really sticks-out all on it own. (hehe!)
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm:
first i must apologize for being insulted. obviously it was me that read to deep into your response (thank bleek for the check). i actually read something in a way that you did not say it. i understand and feel exactly what you guys are saying. the funny thing is we are arguing over robert kelly (this thread wasn't even about him...lol) when we all feel the same way when it comes to the children. we all just want them safe and unconditionally loved. in essence it really doesn't matter what we say because as long as he (r kelly) does not admit to what he did he can not be helped. he has a problem and needs serious help {hopefully we all agree on that}. he isn't the only one either. if only we knew exactly how many of the musicians have slept with underage girls we'd have no music to listen to. (Luke, Aaron Hall, Celine Dion's husband, Elvis, Rick James and on and on and on)

since we are on the topic of it the 'being guilty until proven innocent' how come we jumped up to defend Kobe so quick (and don't say because it was a kid because we're defending Micheal too!!!)?

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A_womon
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

As for me Bre,

None of the others were caught on tape! But not only that, I am sure you have heard how R Kelley got with AAliyah when she was only 14, so this seems to be a pattern with him.

ABM,

I can't never be down with a child rapist, I don't care who they are.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei,

That’s fine, Baby cakes. I dun dun MORE than my share of misreading ‘round hur. So who am I to judge? :-)


Yeah. Molestation is a HUGE and prevalent problem (BTW: You can add the famed Marvin Gaye, Led Zeppelin and Jerry Lee Lewis to that infamous list as well). And any man (or woman I suppose) is vulunerable to some form sexual depravity. So I am not against trying to help a brothah recover from what R Kelly has done (See what I said within your "Has anyone in your family..." thread.

But the worst part about Kelly is he has not been made to PAY recompense and get help for it. For example, if he had had to make sincere/valid restitution for what he did with Aaliayah, this other young lady might not have had to endure what happen. Frankly, I would not be surprise to discovered that Kelly has been permitted to get so caught up in his evil that he may not even know he’s done (doing) anything wrong.
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Brelei715
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Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:23 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i totally agree with that. they just covered up his relationship with aliyah and if they had not then maybe certain things would not have happened. Damn i feel bad (read my other thread and you'll see why).
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Abm
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Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:35 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei,

You are not alone. So (though I know it it difficult to do) I wish that you not feel guilty or ashamed.

Many (if not most) of the females that I know who are +25 years old have in someway been molested or sexually assaulted, if not raped. Most of them said little if anything at all about what happen. And it took them YEARS to do that.

So I think it is time we stop blaming people like you and the women I love/care for, grow up and talk frankly about what is going on and why.
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Brelei715
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Username: Brelei715

Post Number: 32
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thank Abm,

you seem like a cool and wise dude (u know i thought you were a female at first). i actually talked to my mom yesterday and she said the same thing. she said that it's not for me to feel bad because it was a 'generational curse'...all the women in my family have been (ain't that ashame). she said (and i totally agree with her) is to not feel ashamed but be strong and see to it that the 'curse' does not pass on down to my children and to Thank God because it was not passed on to my 2 younger sisters....HOLLA.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 1499
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brelei,

Thanks!

Why did you think I was female? I talk too much? Heck, that's NOTHING! Imagine with my DAUGHTERS must be like! Heck. We regularly have to give my youngest oxygen to replace all the air she expends. (hehe!)

Seriously, we too have been blessed to have protected our daugthers from harm. But life is tough and complex. So you've got to remain vigilant and prayful.

And if you know a man (or woman) who smells like a rat...hire an exterminator!
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Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715

Post Number: 35
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

OOH. I LIKE THAT ONE!!! HIRE AN EXTERMINATOR... AMEN TO REMAINING PRAYFUL AND NO ONE CAN OUT TALK MY KIDS. LOL.

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