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Carey
Regular Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 29
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 11:16 am: | 
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Hello All
Did any of you catch the fight last night. If you said what fight, never mind. But for those of you that did see it or heard the results ....."Nah nah na nah na" ***stickin' out tongue*** can anyone say, "Chicken George, Toy Boy, Roy Boy Jones is down". Practice saying that about 10 times in a row and then give Thump a call.
Oh my, what a beautiful morning. Last night ended just great and then I got called out of my nice cool bed at 3 am and got to drive through the countryside on my way to another call. Yeah, being awaken at 3am is pretty rough but there's nothing like a drive in the country early in the morning. For all of you that don't know it, I live in Iowa. Yes, you heard me, pick up your lip, I said Iowa. What, you didn't think there were many or any black folk in Iowa or at least not a ahhh.....ahhhh handsome articulate guy like....**cough**...**cough**....myself. Well surprise, surprise I's here.
Like I was saying, there's nothing like a drive through the country on a nice Sunday morning. See, you can roll down your windows and let the fresh country ..air...ahh....smell of pig S&%t briskly flow through your window. You can even listen to the sounds of cows mooing off in the distance. If you're lucky you can see deer scampering across the fields or right in front of your car. Let me tell you a little secret. Now see, what I like to do is turn off my headlights while driving next to a lane where deer are known to meander and then speed up and BAM, knock one of them suckers right off. Now of couse I am kidding how could anyone turn off their lights in hopes of hitting a poor little cute defenseless dear. So I leave my lights on and BAM....DINNER!
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about this morning. I wanted to bring up or bring out some old books that I think some of you might have missed. See there's nothing like picking up one of your old favorites and re-living the moments. If you've been reading Thumper's Corner you might have read that I do reviews, well I really hate to call them reviews because that could conjure up an image of some overweight frustrated hack writer trying to scratch out a living talking bad about books. See, I get my extra money by picking up cans on the side of the road. Hey, don't laugh, did you know Aluminum is over 50 cents a pound  . But really, you show me a "professional reviewer" and I'll show you a person with a closet, trunk or storeroom full
of books. See, some of them thought their book was the shit and didn't ask for advice before they went out and ordered like 90,000 copies, of which 89,980 copies are still available. On the other side of the stuffed room is the author with the rich daddy. See, he's going to trick the system and buy up every book that his daughter or son has managed to get on paper. Then he'll shake a few trees and leak the word that "this book is a knockout, it's a must read baaaaby". So when Mr. First Negro at the white publishing company gets word of this hot book he rushes out and signs the poor chap. Hey, don't laugh it works. But you have to have long money for that kind of gamble, that's why only a few of the ex-dope dealing fathers can really afford this venture. But here's the real kicker. You had to be thinking or asking what they did with all the books. Well, I'm about to tell you. See, sometimes the books stink so badly nobody wants to be caught dead reading it. So what they do is hook up with one of those Farrakan Brother's and slips him a few bucks and then he passes out a free copy with each issue of Muhamed Speaks. Not a bad deal huh. Think about it, you know there are Sisters and brothers out there that sneak and get their wisdom. Oh yeah, they wouldn't be caught carrying a paper by the nation. You know the sister or brothers that have them turn around walls. They turn around when a white person comes near their house. When real a brother or sister comes over Mr part time brotha flips the switch and Ronald Regan's picture is replaced by Nelson Mandela, and the picture of Tommy Smith and the other brotha raising their hands at the 68 Olympics replaces David Dukes. Oh yeah, the da-she-keys come down and the brooksbrothers suits go up. Anyway they go out and wrap the message in this lousey book that no one has read and ta-dau, everybody happy. Hey, I ain't pointin' no fingers at anyone but y'all just look around at the reviewers and then do a "search" on their names, man, you talkin' some titles. How about this one: Flunked......."The Story Of My Kid Brotha". Now come on y'all, why did someone think that was going to sell. But wait, it gets better, try this one out for size:......"Money, I ain't got none, but I'm goin' get it, THE HARD WAY". Now come on Y'all, why did someone think we'd be running to the store to pickup that? But this last one really REALLY had me shaking my head, here's the title: " I get my money off da dresser but please don't call me a HO.....the story of a Teen Porn Star. Now come on people, why did they think that book would sell, I mean damn, why did they think that book would sell without pictures?
Anyway, go ahead, use those search engines and see if I ain't tellin' the thruth. But there is one name you're not going to run down, oh no, you're not going to find Thumper's name printed on any book. Shoot, Thump ain't no fool. He knows every hack critic in the world is waiting for his big behind to drop a book. I can hear it now, "payback time baby, payback time, yoour ass is mine Thumper". And to tell you the thruth, I don't know why they feel this way about my guy.....well, he ahh.....ahh....well,...he just calls it like he reads it. I am for real, if anything, he's frequently too soft on a few books and I have called him on it. But you know, everybody wants to blame Thump for their own misdeed of pickin' their noses, drinkin' wine and playing Bid Whist in the Black Student Union when they should have had their tails in class. But they can forget about Thump droping a book because somebody done gone and put a MOJO on him. See, Thump started writng a book and then all of a sudden his hands started to swell up like the Nutty Professors. First he thought it was his sugar levels but he went down home to a who-doo women and she told him the bad news. Thump didn't really mind the fat hand thing because although his hands inflated, he also turned into Buddy Love that smooth talkin', race car driving ladies man. Man, he couldn't believe all the action he was getting from the ladies. But he would always loose them all because he won't take his hands out of his pockets and the women thought he was a perverted freak. Anyway, I ain't trying to cap on anyone I just wanted to throw a little light on a sticky subject.
Dang, I meant to give y'all the lowdown on this book I read but the clock on the wall says that's all. Hey, I gotta go, see y'all next week in The Sunday Monrning Wake Up .
Carey
Carey |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 429
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 04:36 pm: |
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If I may ask, Carey just what is it you're on call for? (Just in case I feel the need for your services at around 3 o'clock one of these mornings.) >>wink-wink<<.
BTW, I went to college with kids from down there around the Iowa border in East Moline and Kewanee. |
Carey
Regular Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 33
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 06:17 pm: |
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Cynique, it's C A R E Y Not ABM, remember he's the one bandishing his.....his...ahh.....service revolver. He carrys it with him all the time and I believe it's loaded. Hey, wait a minute, this must be what my mother was talking about when she said if you sleep with dogs you might get fleas and "if you play with a puppy you could get licked. Oh shoot let me get up out of here before y'all have me doing the naughty dance.
I've heard of those places, I think they are in Illinios, I'm a Hawkeye.
I respond to emergency situations, no I am not a fireman or policeman. I've been known to perform my job 400 ft in the air or higher, "sometimes" rarely but sometimes. There is little room for error, a life could be gone in an instant! six figure, generally see white men performing this task. No I am not an X-Rated porn star running out late at night servicing women. That's ABM's gig (LOL). Although I have on occassion gone into womens homes to do my thang (job related of course) |
Bookgirl
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Bookgirl
Post Number: 87
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 07:25 pm: |
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Carey; I am an unpaid book reviewer simply 'cause I love books (the freebies don't hurt) but I also review books that I buy with my own money. LOL
But ya know...I like this Sunday Morning wake-up and will check back next Sunday (excuse me for not checking in until Sunday evening but I have morning activities on Sunday) LOL
You are a hoot and a hollar (as my grandmothr would say) but I ain't mad at chew either. Have a great week! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 434
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 10:17 pm: |
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Um, Carey, I still don't know what it is you do to save lives at 3 o'clock in the morning....Does this job have a name????
Yes, those towns I mentioned are on the Illinois-Iowa border, near Davenport I believe.
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Thumper
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Thumper
Post Number: 137
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 10:30 pm: |
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Hello All,
While Carey is trying to bust a brother out, the very least I can do is return the favor. *evil smile* He's correct, you rarely see a black man performing Carey's job. And he gets paid very well for it too. Not just any man can have a job where he can afford a house with FOUR fireplaces. This job should have a theme song to it, like "Walk In The Light". |
A_womon
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 98
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 17, 2004 - 05:31 am: |
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Carey, you have to be some type of electrician. Maybe one who climbs poles and restores power? or maybe you repair traffic lights. although,it could be that you fly a helicopter and life flight people to the hospital or........
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, just tell us already and quit making people guess why dontcha? |
Carey
Regular Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 37
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 17, 2004 - 06:38 pm: |
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A_womon, you are very perceptive, then again you have been in the archieves. That's it, you read that I was in the Air Force.....didn't you!?
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A_womon
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 99
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 17, 2004 - 07:42 pm: |
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Aha! Im right Im right! I knew it!! I didn't read nothin about that Im just good!
You are a life flighter aren't you? |
Bookgirl
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Bookgirl
Post Number: 93
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, May 24, 2004 - 12:05 am: |
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Carey: No Sunday Morning Wake-up this week? |
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