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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 13570
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Friday, March 06, 2009 - 07:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I love puns. They manipulate language and remind us of what fun it is to play with words which are, after all, just sounds.

These arrived in an e-mail.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center aid: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Now, go back to YOUR favorite way of wasting time.
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Yvettep
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 3457
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Saturday, March 07, 2009 - 10:46 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LOLOLOL!
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 13573
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Saturday, March 07, 2009 - 12:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I knew you'd appreciate this list, Yvette.
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Libralind2
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Libralind2

Post Number: 1193
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 08:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What about me..??? ::hands on hips:: ::glaring::
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 13579
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 11:05 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I didn't know that you, too, like puns, LiLi! Welcome to the club!

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