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Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3853
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 12:21 pm: | 
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The movie starts out with Samuel R. Jackson suffering a horrible death. He is beaten, burnt, castrated and genitals shoved in his mouth. A hot iron stuffed up his a$$. What's left of him is hung by the neck in the town square.
Keanu Reeves--or one of them clean cut, heroic good smellin' WHITE HEROES, playing an FBI man or a newspaper man or something, comes to town to try to find out what happened. I dunno why. Jackson used to work on their plantation or something.
Nobody wants to talk, especially the cullud folks who are standing around shakin' and tremblin'.
Finally he runs up on Christian Ricci. They gets a THANG goin'. In the midst of this, she confesses that Jackson came upon her lying in the road, took her home and chained her to a radiator to make her reform.
A sharp eyed Negro snitch saw all this and told the local Good Ole Boys, who fixed Jackson's wagon.
Reeves slaps the shit out of Ricci and tells her she should have busted loose and done it herself and that she has shamed the white race.
Then he goes and finds the good ole boys, has a drink with them, and tells them that they got the law to do that sort of thing these days and they shouldn't have done it.
At the end they have raised a monument to ole Sam and everybody is standing around in the graveyard singing hymns and kumbaya.
A surefire boxoffice bonanza! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 7671
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 12:35 pm: |
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Really? Would you pay money to see this version?? |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3857
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 12:50 pm: |
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I would pay money to MAKE this version then crack up and make rude noises at you when, smiling weakly, you bought tickets to see it. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3831
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 12:55 pm: |
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You should send your screenplay to Chris Rock. He can star and direct. Eddie Murphy can play Keanu Reeves and Beyonce can be the white girl. Me and Cynique will be the cullud folks. You can make my 15% payable to my real name. Cynique gets 25%.
Thank you and have a nice day 
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 7674
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 12:57 pm: |
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I'd wait for it to come on cable TV where it would be free and I'd have the option to hit the "off" button. Face it: your demograph would be red neck peckerwoods. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3860
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:00 pm: |
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Face it: your demograph would be red neck peckerwoods.
(Haw haw! There's life in the old girl yet! I think a lot of right thinking cullud folks would want to see it so as to let their young folk know the wages of chaining up white women to radiators) |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 8671
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:00 pm: |
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Chris,
I don't know whether foks will sit the the entire movie, but I'm figuring that introduction will be a surefire HIT.
Hahahahaha!!! |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3861
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:01 pm: |
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Come to think of it, wasn't this the plot of that Mandingo movie? |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3832
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:04 pm: |
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You mean this shit isn't even original  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 7675
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:14 pm: |
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I assume your movie would be set in the 1940s, chrishayden. Certainly not in the 21st century, a time period you have yet to catch up with. The scenario of the picture in theaters now could be an episode on the Jerry Springer show. |
Libralind2
Veteran Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 730
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:43 pm: |
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ChrisH is sick..LOL
LiLi |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3835
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 01:45 pm: |
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Oh man, I forgot about LiLi. LiLi gets to play one of the cullud folks too and she gets 30%
Thank You!!!
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Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3863
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 02:51 pm: |
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You mean this shit isn't even original
(I have to admit it ain't--it's sort of a mix of Mississippi Burning, Blacksnake Moan and Mandingo)
Oh man, I forgot about LiLi. LiLi gets to play one of the cullud folks too and she gets 30%
(You done gave out all the shares of my movie) |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3836
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 03:04 pm: |
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There's still 30% left over for you.  |
Libralind2
Veteran Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 731
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 04:03 pm: |
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LOL Im IN 30% for doing...not a dam thing..Im IN
LiLi |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1391
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 05:04 pm: |
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I'm sorry I'm lost but is this what really happens in the movie or is this a joke??? |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3845
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 07:15 pm: |
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LiLi - Chris isn't going to pay us for doing nothing. We're going to play the role of the cullud folks standing around shakin' and tremblin'
Sorry SS - You gets 0% 
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Libralind2
Veteran Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 732
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 11:19 pm: |
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MY BAD
LiLi..off to practice being cullud |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1729
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:24 pm: |
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Whoa! A movie is being cast and I was not invited to attend the try-outs?!
Oh! Oh! Can I be in charge of choosing the music?
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3858
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:38 pm: |
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OMG! I forgot about Yvette.
Okay Chris - Yvette gets 25% which will be taken from your 30%, leaving you with 5%.
She'll be choosing the music.
Thank You!!!
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Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1731
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:53 pm: |
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Thanx, M. Ima bout to call Prince soon as I finish my lunch... |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1732
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:54 pm: |
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~~....this is what it sounds like
when black snakes moooooan...~~ |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 3860
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:56 pm: |
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LOL! If you call in Prince he's going to want all the money and we won't get anything |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1733
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 01:59 pm: |
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:sigh: Aight. I'll call Jerome and Morris... |
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