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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata

Post Number: 672
Registered: 08-2005

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Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 07:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I just found out that my nephew is having behavioral problems (again) and they want me to visit and maybe talk to him for a while. I'm going to try to see if I can talk his parents into giving me custody, if possible.

I'll be leaving tomorrow 2/3/06. If you guys don't hear from me after next Friday, it just means I'm still there.
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Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns

Post Number: 888
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 09:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I hope everything works out for the best!
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata

Post Number: 675
Registered: 08-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 12:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So do I. I'll be leaving today at 4:30. He's been staying at his friends' homes, not going to school, and he won't listen to his parents, but he'll (for some reason) listen to me. But still his parents won't give me custody, even SEEING that he improves after I visit.
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Prettybabygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Prettybabygirl

Post Number: 201
Registered: 04-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 12:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Best to you Renata. Hope all goes alright. take care :-)


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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 4182
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 12:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Renata,

I commend your efforts to help your sibling and her/his child. But I recommend your be VERY careful here.

You're putting yourself into a perilous position. It's almost never good for a child to respect others more than he does his birth parents. No matter how well intended one might be, very often he or she will be made the villian, especially if/when some mishap occurs.

What if your opinions about what to do conflict with his parents?

What if the child vehemently wants to depart with you under their objections?

What if the child's behavior WORSENS during or after your visit?

What if part of the reason WHY the child is misbehaving is to effect your claiming custody of him?

I'd recommend you attempt to help bring a trained, reputable and INDEPENDENT counselor/therapist into this situation. He or she is much better equipped/situated to help divine and remedy the problems.

You can continue to be the good sister/aunt via emotional support and encouragement. And you can still provide the opportunity of a TEMPORARY place of refuge should things become wholly unmanageable.

But do NOT make it YOUR job to save the day.

Because ultimately, the child is THEIR responsibility. NOT yours.


God luck. And GOD Bless.
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Prettybabygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Prettybabygirl

Post Number: 202
Registered: 04-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 12:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Abm, thanks for saying what I wanted to say.

Just not as articulate as you and Cynique and kola.

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Prettybabygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Prettybabygirl

Post Number: 203
Registered: 04-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 12:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Atleast not on other people's "personal stuff".

Now I can REPORT all day long. LOOOL!


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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata

Post Number: 680
Registered: 08-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 01:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thanks, ABM, that's some good stuff to consider.

My opinions versus his parents' will be a big deal. I'm very strict. They hardly care if they haven't seen him in 2 days. I can see a big problem from his going out when he wants, to suddenly having a bedtime.

Thanks for pointing that out.

I would never "take" him without their approval and assistance. He's now 14, and I've asked them for custody since he was maybe 4 or 5, but they insist they want to keep him, so I go along with their wishes, even if I don't agree with it. I don't anger them by trying to dictate how to raise him, because I want to still be an option if they do decide to give him up.

He knows he can call me anytime, even collect, but he's too busy doing "stuff" to have the time.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor

Post Number: 239
Registered: 01-2006

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 04:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Renata I wish you the best of luck. And I hope you get the opportunity to raise a fine young black man, and teach him self-respect. I'm sure you and your husband have given this situation alot of thought. I will also keep you and your family in my prayers. GOD BLESS YOU!!
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Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie

Post Number: 646
Registered: 06-2005

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Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 05:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

We'll be praying for you ( and the boy)! :-)
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Anonymous
 

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Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 04:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

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