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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 291
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 09, 2005 - 07:40 pm: | 
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Aapoet
First Time Poster (AR)
Username: Aapoet
Post Number: 1
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)
Posted on Friday, September 09, 2005 - 04:52 pm:
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First, let me say that this is a well written piece and a good read. Debra Dickerson is a good essayist, though I think with this piece she writes about a subject for which her own experiences don’t follow what most people experience.
Black women are undesirable? The notion is so absurd that I nearly let this article pass without a response. Then I realized that this is just the kind of article that can help to feed that great want that many white people have to be superior. So, I decided to take the time.
Before I decided to write I sent the article to a number of black women that I know, just to make sure that I don’t make the same mistake as Debra, and write solely from my own opinion and experience. After all, I am a black man who finds women of all races attractive, but who feels that black women are heads and shoulders above the rest in terms of physical beauty and sexual desirability. The women I wrote to, to the number, responded that Debra Dickerson "has problems", or is "completely off base", or "doesn’t speak for most black women". In fact, one of the sisters I wrote to is a writer herself. She felt that Salon.com chose to publish Dickersons piece because it is more "readable" to the mainstream reader. They wouldn’t, however, have published an article written by her (my friend), telling the "truth" as she has experienced it.
According to her, she has a lot of white male friends, and every time they get the chance they try to get her into bed. She tells them that she doesn’t have sex with her friends, but the truth is that she is just not attracted to white men. And I have to admit, that her experience is much closer to what I’ve seen to be the truth in my life.
I went to a predominantly white university. I can say quite easily and honestly that, at least on this campus, white women threw themselves at black men. Maybe it was just the fact that it was the first time they were away from home and they wanted to do something that was taboo in their household, but it was not just a few of them. It was an everyday, reoccurring theme. Meanwhile, black women on the campus outnumbered black men by about 50%. So, many black women were lonely, and the ones who weren’t often times had to put up with cheating boyfriends because the brothers really did have choices when it came to partying.
Still, even with that being the case, every weekend you would see white guys approaching sisters, and getting shot down. Sister, even the single ones, weren’t interested. Now, remember, we aren’t talking about white trash and hoodrats. This is a prestigious university, so these are all educated women at their prime and perkiest. So, these horny college boys would be happy to take most of the women home, even if for their own taboo experience, but the sisters weren’t having it. And that probably has more to do with why there wasn’t a black wedding in the film than anything else.
Had a white guy who looks like Owen Wilson, walked into black wedding looking for a quick bang, he would have left wanting. Sure, the sisters would have gotten a laugh watching him try to dance to our music. A few may have even given him a novelty dance. But you can believe that Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn wouldn’t have had the time they had at these other weddings. And they know that. Had they put a scene in the film where they went to one of our weddings and sweet talked some sisters into bed, there would have been more articles screaming foul than poor Debra’s.
See, as we all know, it is the woman who makes the decision about hooking up, whether it be for sex or anything else. A man may make the approach, but the woman makes the decision. That’s why it makes me laugh when people holler about black men wanting white women. Sure, we see more mixed relationships that way than the other way around, but like I said, it’s the woman that makes that decision. And quite honestly, I don’t think most sisters think white men have much for them.
The times you do see sisters with white men, the man is usually very successful. That scene we often see where a white woman is with a broken down black man on the street, or is taking care of a jobless black man, we never see the other way around. Black women have too much "flavor" and are too strong to put up with someone who can’t keep up AND is broke. Women usually want a man who is stronger than them, and who has the game to make her want to be touched by him.
Now I know people don’t want to hear this, but it’s the truth. It’s not hard to see either. Look around you. BET is such a popular channel because young white males love to see the sisters dancing around in next to nothing, and fantasize about them. Halle Berry and Beyonce Knowles are always among the list of the women they want to sleep with. (Gweneth Paltrow and Maria Sharapova are not going to be on the list of too many brothers.) The issues is that Beyonce wants a man like Jay-Z, and Halle, even with all her man problems, loves black men. So, white men go elsewhere to live out their fantasies.
Brazil has become one of the hot spots for vacationing, in large part because rich white men from Europe and America go down to take advantage of all of these brown skinned sisters with the round booties who have to sell themselves to survive. There, they won’t get turned down. There is even a documentary show on HBO about a legal brothel in Nevada that demonstrates the point. There is a sister there, who is not "all that" but who is envied because so many white guys come in there and want to be with a black women. It seems that she is always one of the most popular girls at the place. Again, the white guy doesn’t get turned down there.
Anyone who believes that sisters aren’t desirable has been caught up in the media assault that tries to teach us that European features are a standard for beauty. But honestly, I don’t even think most white people buy it for real. After all, I live in LA and I see ads for lip injections, and butt enhancement every day. And I doubt that sisters are their clientele. And that doesn’t even touch the tanning industry which is huge everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong. Any man who is not trying to prove something will tell you that there are very desirable women in every race. But the idea that black women are somehow less desirable than others, to anyone, is ludicrous. I think that Debra Dickerson is simply speaking from personal issues more than from a viewpoint she’s developed by observing others.
In fact, I would surmise that it’s the false standard of beauty that has Debra a bit confused. If I had to guess, I’d say she has a lot of white friends, and she judges herself based on her what her friends say and who they like. I assume that because of the way she phrases certain things, and the fact that she actually fantasizes about Own Wilson ...lol. To me, it’s similar to a white guy in a big city who hangs with a bunch of black guys and show signs of feeling unattractive and physically inferior.
Again, it was a well written article ... but don’t believe the hype.
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 290
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)
Posted on Friday, September 09, 2005 - 05:20 pm:
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Aepoet: Go fuck yourself -- you crack-head, ignorant ass, bastard.
Where'd you get all that shit anyway? A movie?
You lonely asswipe!
Ain't no writer-sista-friend tell you no dumb shit like that.
And if she did -- tell that crusty ass, high yellow, crack-head, whore, to go jump off a bridge after she slit her fucking throat!
Tonya
Aapoet
Regular Member
Username: Aapoet
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)
Posted on Friday, September 09, 2005 - 07:17 pm:
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Is this the same Tonya that originally responded to this post? If so, maybe you should reread my post, because you're original post makes my point exactly. My main point is that black women are indeed desirable, but that they don't particularly desire white men. In your orignal post you say that you "can care less about the attention of white men". So, why are you so hostile about what I said?
Also, my friend is a writer and she did indeed respond the way I said. I have a lot of friends who are writers, as I am one myself. And, FYI, she is a beautiful dark brown skin sister.
I really don't understand the hostility. Are you sure you didn't misread my response? If not, please tell me why you are so upset by it?
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 292
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 09, 2005 - 08:21 pm: |
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Aapoet, I apologize for my initial response.
This is one of the things that I found offensive about your post.
Aapoet said:
Brazil has become one of the hot spots for vacationing, in large part because rich white men from Europe and America go down to take advantage of all of these brown skinned sisters with the round booties who have to sell themselves to survive. There, they won’t get turned down. There is even a documentary show on HBO about a legal brothel in Nevada that demonstrates the point. There is a sister there, who is not "all that" but who is envied because so many white guys come in there and want to be with a black women. It seems that she is always one of the most popular girls at the place. Again, the white guy doesn’t get turned down there.
Tonya:
Is this suppose to somehow prove that black women are desirable?
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Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 642
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 04:09 pm: |
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"Is this suppose to somehow prove that black women are desirable?"-Tonya
My thoughts--exactly!
White men seeking black women for the sole purpose of sexual gratification is humiliating.
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Aapoet
Newbie Poster
Username: Aapoet
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 02:57 pm: |
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My sister,
I don't at all believe that white men seeking black women for the sole purpose of sex is something of which to be proud. I understand that it is indeed humiliating and offensive, just as it is when any man uses a woman as nothing more than a sexual object. I am not condoning or glorifying that practice. But being honest, that's exactly what Debra Dickerson's article is about. And that is one of the reasons I chose to respond to it in length.
The motivation for the article is that the sister felt left out of a film about men trying to do nothing beyond having sex with the women at these weddings. They were not looking for strong women to be their partners in life. They were looking to "fuck". And quite honestly, the article didn’t go much deeper than that. Debra wanted to be fuckable to these men. She felt that the strength that I believe makes black women so beautiful and desirable somehow made them unfuckable, and I feel that the whole notion is absurd. However, if I’m going to argue against her point, I have to debate on the same grounds she set, which is about no more than being fuckable. So, using the Brazilian sex trips and the prostitute (a very small part of my response), was simple to say that on that raw level of fuckability, yes, it’s obvious that these men want to fuck black women so much that they are willing to travel and pay to do so. So, her argument is not correct.
Then, I chose to go deeper than Debra, because I agree that the idea of being fuckable is very superficial, particularly when you are dealing with the issues of race and oppression, which can not be avoided in the discussion. So, I went on to point out what I feel are some of the real reason our sisters are left out of such scenarios in films, television, etc., when it comes to this subject.
To me, black women are appealing in so many ways. It hurts me that this sister feels the way she does, but I also feel that it has much more to do with her own personal brainwashing. No American, particularly black American escapes it. Those in power have tried, and to a great extent succeeded, to cause us to feel self hate and self doubt. And to me, that is what this article is really about. To say that black women aren’t desirable is ridiculous. The fact that a black women is saying it is a shame.
Peace.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 344
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 04:20 pm: |
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Aapoet, it's a blessing to have the support of brothers like you, because it reminds us that there are so many good black men left.
Part of what make you so remarkable is your interest in knowing more about us (black women) and our struggle. You took the time to give a detailed response to Dickerson's essay -- you even went as far as getting the input of others. Your concern is greatly appreciated, so hopefully, you will continue to lend your wisdom and support.
I disagree with your assessment of Dickerson's article, but I look forward to hearing from you again.
Tonya |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 2116
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 06:34 pm: |
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Aopet,
Whurr you at bwoy? 
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Libralind2
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 199
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 07:24 pm: |
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LOLLOL Kola |
Aaron Sailor
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 29, 2005 - 06:31 pm: |
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First of all Let me start by saying that I am a young black man that finds black women extremely attractive. But, let me start by saying that we live a cruel white supremacist society that says that the white standard of beauty is supreme.Anything that is close to white is considered beautiful and desirable. The white mainstream media has always labeled black women as undesirable, and still continues to assert the black women are the most undesirable women on earth. Have you ever noticed that white,asian, and White latina women are considered disireable but not black women. That is because white women are the standard of beauty. Asian, and latina women are considered beautiful because they are considered exotic. Also, because of their similarities to white women. (I.E Long-straight hair, light skin, keen features). That leaves black women who are not considered desirable. Their are still three sterotypes of black women that still dominate the white mainstream media.
Aunt Jemima/Beaulah- Loyal dark-skinned overweight black women who has been desexualized and shows that her main focus is to serve white families.
Sapphire- Loud brown-skinned black women who is not as large but is troublesome. Sapphire is uncoothe and always immasculates black men with her sharp tongue.
Jezebel- She is half-white (aka Halle Berry, Beyonce, Tyra Banks). Jezebel can sometimes be a brown-skinned sister but she has to be really pretty. Jezebel has an insatiable sexual apetite for white men. Therefore, she is a comfort to white America because she shows that only light skinned pretty black women can seduce a white man, and not a Whoopi Goldberg type.
Unfortunately, these images still remain today. For instance, have you ever notice that whenever you see a black woman on an all-white cast the black woman is either overweight, unnattractive, or old. Many times a combination of all three. (Alfre Woodard on desperate housewives or the fat-loud black woman on the new hit show Grey's Anatomy). Also many whites still consider blacks as inferior. And if they consider black people as inferior you can imagine how they are going to consider a black woman. Unfortunately, many black men have bought into this belief. My brother for instance has never dated black women and never will. He somehow see himself as better than most black women. It is sad, but until we as black people educate ourselves the more we will reject this system of white supremacy. |
Miami
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 11:02 pm: |
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Stats dont lie. as time marches on, black women are being viewed, especially by black men, to far far far less desirible. Interracial relationships continue to rise, at least in america anyway. However, the sharpest increase is between black men and white women. There seems to be, and not too many folks can explain this phemonon very well, a magnetism between ww and bm. Hell, go to any college campus, i went to both college and grad school, and take a good look around. Black men have a lot of sex, w/ a lot of different white women there. It is becomming a right of passage. Just thought i would throw out some reality for yall. |
EMINEM
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 02:05 am: |
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EMINEM circa 1993
Track 1
There’s so many styles I might get thrown
And here’s the place where I like to roam
And all the girls that I like to bone
Have the big butts, no they don’t
‘Cause I don’t like that nigger @#%$
I’m just here to make a bigger hit
When I be kickin the hypest, dopest rhyme
Just say that Eminem is the best MC of all times…Yeah!
I’m running out of breath so here’s Chaos Kid with the flow of death
Track 2
I seen a Black girlfriend and I kissed her
I kissed her; I placed it on her cheek
And she didn’t come back til next week
Now it was next week and she was back again
Wanting to kiss a white kid
So she was my girlfriend, we started going out
But that’s okay because we were Black and white
Blacks and whites they sometimes mix
But Black girls only want your money cause they’re dumb chicks
So I’ma say like this
Don’t date a Black girl, take it as a diss
If you want, but if you don’t
I’ma tell you like this, I surely won’t
Never date a Black girl because Blacks only want your money
And that @#%$ aint funny
So I’ma say look honey
Why do you do this?
You know, you step up to me like you a Brutus
Then you try to grab my spinach
Because its green and that’s cash
So get outta here, ’cause I don’t need your ass
I said that before, but that’s okay because like I said you’re a whore
Black girls and white girls just don’t mix
Because Black girls are dumb and white girls are good chicks
White girls are good; I like white girls
I like white girls all over the world
White girls are fine and they blow my mind
And that’s why I’m here now telling you this rhyme
’Cause Black girls, I really don’t like
We don’t mix, it’s like riding a bike
When you’re peddling hard, uphill both ways
You know it’s kinda hard and that’s why I say to you
I’m giving you a little advice
Don’t date a Black girl, if you do it once you won’t do it twice
You won’t ever do it again because they’ll take your money
And that aint funny
So I’ma say look honey
I thought he said that before
But like I said again you’re nothing but a big whore
So when mike catch on the bass line
That’s okay ‘cause we will not just waste time
I’ll get straight to the point
Black girls are bitches, that’s why I’ma tell ya you better pull up your britches
‘Cause all that cash is making your ass drag
From the boyfriend ya ganked and that’s pretty bad
I mean that’s pretty sad when ya dating a Black guy
And then you turn around a @#%$ another big, Black guy
Now that’s pretty wrong, but you’re just ganking
But that’s okay because you need a @#%$ spanking
From me, the funky Eminem
I’m busting rhymes and I’m swallowing phlegm
I’m busting a freestyle just like this
I say swallowing phlegm and Howard gets pissed
But when Howard gets pissed that’s okay
Because he leaves and he doesn’t show up for two more days
So I’ll just worry about that problem when I come to it
I cross that bridge when I come to it
Because, I forgot the chorus
But that’s okay ’cause y’all saying bust a rhyme for us
So I’ma bust another rhyme about this Black girl
She turned out to be a @#%$ wack girl
A wack girl, because Black girls ain’t funny
All they want is your @#%$ money
They take you for everything you got
And then you stand with a bunch of snot in your hand
So I’ma kick it to you just like this
How does the chorus go, I forgot
But that’s okay, ’cause I’ma tell you in stride
I’ma say oh foolish pride
Oh foolish pride, oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh
Date a white girl, ’cause they got the raw hide…
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Anonymous
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 07:59 pm: |
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poker casino poker 314 |
FlyWhiteGuy
Unregistered guest
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 11:30 am: |
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Black women are the best in bed... |
shyfox
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 11:21 pm: |
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Flywhiteguy:"Black women are the best in bed..."
Yuck! |
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