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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » The Kool Room - Archive July 2005 to April 2006 » Is skin color still an issue?? « Previous Next »

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Petiteme
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 02:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'd like to know if you all think that skin color is still an issue in the African American community?

Are lighter skin Blacks treated better than darker ones?

My opinion is mixed, but what do you guys think?
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Edenson
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 02:34 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think so. Just the other day I was in class and I overheard two black kids talking, (one male, one female). Anyway they were comparing skin color, and the girl was medium brown skin and the boy was maybe a lighter brown... Down south we call that being "Red". Anyway they both agreed that they would rather go out with a person who was red skin then dark skin.

I think the mentality of a person's parents rubs off on their children, because some where along their journey through life, they picked up that the lighter your skin, the better that person is, and the better you are for being with that person. I used to think like that too, until I found out the truth about who I am, and where I come from, and what my skin color means. I embrace my color, and the different shades of my people, because it is genuine love for my people. Things won't change until black people get a hold of themselves, and teach their children who we are, and not what society wants us to be...

Much Luv, Stay Strong...
edenson
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Chrishayden
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 04:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think it is still an issue--I think both whites and blacks treat lighter skinned blacks differently than darker skinned ones, sometimes better some times worse depending on the circumstances.
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Africanqueen
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 04:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Petiteme,

I agree with Edenson. Skin color still is an issue. If you browse through this message board, you'll notice that most of the comments made are on skin color issue in America.

And yes, most light skinned black females in America are treated better than the dark skinned ones by their black people. You know, I love that Ludacris new video of his song, "women all over the world".... He praises all shades of black women. And then he talks about African women as being "the most beautiful". Now, I wish all black men thought like him. He's an awesome character.

Edenson,

Good for you! I'm glad you're finally loving all shades of your people. People should look beyond the looks on the outside and search the inside of an human being. No love can ever be compared to that from the heart and people shouldn't really judge a book by its cover.

African American children talking about what color they'd rather be dating is nothing new to me. It is even hard for some of them to believe that a light skinned black person would come from Africa.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 06:03 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't think you can generalize about this. Of course first impressions figure into this equation; but at some point, traits other than an individual's color start to influence the situation.
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Petiteme
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 07:23 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Cynnique: I know at some point traits other than a person's skin color influence a situation, but I am just wondering is their a difference in perception (between light skin and dark skin) BEFORE that point.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 10:24 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Who knows? As I said before, I don't think you can generalize. Since people claim that fat people are discriminated against, an obese, light-skinned woman may get passed over for a curvacious dark-skinned woman. Or a pimply-faced light-skinned woman with buck teeth might get passed over for a velvety-skinned dark woman with a beautiful smile. Color isn't the only criteria as much as some would have you think. Does discrimination exist? Yes. Will a beautiful light-skinned woman be instantly preferred over a beautiful dark-skinned woman? Probably. But a beautiful white blond with long silky hair will probably be selected over a beautiful white woman with short brown hair. A lot depends on the "X" factor. And it doesn't always involve skin color.
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Tonya
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I've seen plenty of cases where Fat, butt ass ugly, pimply-faced light-skinned and white women got chosen over beautiful dark ones. Trust me, it happens a lot. You have to be beyond beautiful when you're dark. Most people are not beautiful, they're average. Dark-skinned women, however, are considered ugly even when they're average, just like everyone else.

Tonya
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Tonya
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Those people who are reading this board and are honest with themselves know exactly what I'm talking about, so I ain't even gonna argue with you, Cynnique. Cuz I know it's coming.

Tonya
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Cynnique
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And I've seen plenty of fat, sorry lookin light-skinned women be passed over for attractive dark-skinned ones. I still say you can't generalize. The African American popluation in this country is at least 25 million people.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And rest assured "Tonya" I am not wasting my time arguing with you.
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Regina
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Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:56 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think within the Black community, the lighter you are, the more you are receptive to criticism from darker sinned ppl. I think white men love darker skinned ladies though. They probably think that light skinned ladies are too close to white.
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 12:48 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Cynnique:

The African American popluation in this country is at least 25 million people.

Tonya:

The majority of whom are color-struck....lets get that straight.

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Yukio
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 10:54 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

tonya:

Generalizations, at this point, are all we can make...but seriously, how many of the 25 million socalled African Americans have u interviewed? Is this majority 55%(color struck) to 45%(not)?

How do we define African American, anyway?...is this national or hemispheric nomenclature? Are we talking about people of African descent in the Americas or just the US...what about second generation africans who view themselves as the real African Americans, since they are clearly African with an African culture, citizens of the US, and also culturally American...consider the tendency, it seems, these men and women often marry white folk.....
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 10:57 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya: --Are lighter skin Blacks treated better than darker ones? --

In Hollywood,yes. In the real world, it varies among regions, communities, families, and an indiviual's personal experience.
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 11:00 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya, get out a little more and you'd realize your observations/experiences are not typical EVERYWHERE.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 11:49 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You are on point, as usual, Roxie. At our local high school, the home-coming queen was a dark-skinned girl who beat out the rest of the candidates, many of whom were light-skinned. It was pretty much conceded that the reason she won, was because she always dressed real sharp.
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Kola
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 01:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,

I agree with you 100%.

And furthermore--the people MOST affected by the system (system) of colorism should be the ones to advocate the solution.

You having a discussion about this with people like Roxie, Cynique and Yukio is pointless--it's like trying to make WHITE PEOPLE understand the "intricate complexities" of racism and how no matter what their good intentions, their understanding through enlightenment or no matter how TOKEN events are changing the "surface barometers" within the system, etc.---their main position, as MIXED "accepted" people (because remember, they are part of the Sceptor, not the floor), remains to PROTECT their privileaged status and to DENY the weight of your claims so they can feel better about themselves----and IGNORE how they came into being the first damned place.

White folks do this ALL THE TIME.

Roxie had the nerve to bring up the novel "The Bluest Eye" the other day---which was the story of the literal destruction of millions of little Blue Black girls in this country during the 30's,40's and 50's. Of course--Roxie did not look at the book in its historical context and doesn't seem to see that the WHOLE SOCIETY, including that little girl's BLUE BLACK MOTHER---hated that child for no other reason than...she was too black, and that like a streamroller, the WHOLE society--dismantled and destroyed that girl because they feared her.

Roxie has no memory of Black American women widely using Bleaching Creams in the 30s, 40s and 50s---she has no appreciation for the fact that a woman who looked like Naomi Campbell in that era, would be required to gain 200 pounds and put on a maid's uniform just to play a part in a movie---while those women who looked like Lena Horne, and were NOT BLACK--but so appointed by the WHITE DOMINANT CULTURE were fed to the masses...FED....as the image of what is "beautiful" in a black woman. Frankly, her Non-blackness. And so Roxie fails to see that there is a LONG, LONG history of justifiable anger, rage and contempt that drives this topic----as a character in one of my books says to her grandchild, "The world did not begin on the day that you were born."

I'm not even going to bring up the blue vein societies and paper bag orphanages and HBUniversities and ALL of the INSTITUTIONAL colorism that YELLOW PEOPLE employed during that era to protect/retain their yellow-ness.

And I'm not even going to bring up the evil Mulatto races in AFRICA.

Of course, Michael Jackson and Lil Kim are real-life continuations of "The Bluest Eye"....but the story goes so much deeper, and if you'll remember the ending of "The Blacker The Berry"...you will recall that the "light skinned" and "light brown" people in that book made the same excuses, dismissals of what happened to the lead character in THAT book.

In the 1920s, "Coal" black men had the saying: "I don't haul no coal"---meaning they wouldn't date a blue black woman...because she was BLACK. Of course if a WHITE MAN made such a comment---we'd call him a "racist", "the devil", etc. But somehow we sweep it under the carpet when whole LEGIONS of black men openly spew venom at the images of their own mothers.

Watching BET today is no different...at all.

But notice how people like Roxie completely ignore these realities, because the pain and erasure does not directly affect HER.

She is not the thing being disallowed--so like a white woman, she and Cynique and people of that "ILK"....make light....of the destruction that was/is involved of a person's life, their options, their future--the "dream deferred" in the very dark skinned female. They...make light of it, because they can't feel what...you feel.

They're not in your skin.

They're not AUTHENTIC.

We all, who claim to be black, COME FROM the very blackest women on earth...and yet none of these people here could give a shit about the very blackest women on earth. When they speak about "dark skinned" girls, they're talking about tea brown and whispy cinnamon mixed children that THEY are familiar with.

They're mulattoes and don't even know it--and they're not our people.

So don't expect them care, to understand or to be INVASIVE in their appraisals.

And you are 100% right, Tanya.

tima usrah
(through fire comes the family)




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Cynnique
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 02:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

zzzzzzzzzz.........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 04:03 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yukio:

I’m not sure if such a survey has ever been done, but there are many authors and sociologists who agree that colorism is a disease that deeply effects blacks worldwide. In her book "Don’t Play in the sun", Marita Golden explains how in places where there are black and brown people, colorism is almost always a norm. The women who moderates this board, Kola Boof, has given us numerous details of how the Color caste system is played out in Sudan and other parts of Africa. As for America, "The color complex" is a book that informs how the politics of skin color is a cultural phenomenon that entends throughout the entire African American community. Also, If you do a computer search of the word “colorism”, you will discover many sites that give views of how widespread colorism is amongst African Americans. Additionally, you will become aware of articles written by scholars, who offer opinions and observations of the existence of colorism, how it originated, Who benefits from it and why it is a major part of our culture and lifestyles.

Obviously there is no way to tell how many people are effected by colorism, but like racism, Sociologists and other professionals have provided enough evidence to suggest that it is rampant. If one can understand how racism manifests itself in America, he/she should also recognize how colorism exist within the black community,because some of the same methods that were used to examine racism is currently being used to explore colorism.

Roxie:

I agree with you

Tonya
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 04:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Roxie said:

In the real world, it varies among regions, communities, families, and an indiviual's personal experience.

Tonya:

That part of what you say is true, however, most of what you say is extremely naive.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 05:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

No, "Tonya", it's that most of what you say is the entrenched obstinacy of your view point. One simply cannot encapsulate the flux of the black experience within the rigid parameters of the beliefs, prejudices and misconceptions that you cling to. "Experts" can write all kinds of books on the subject and come up with all kinds of extrapolations, but life is not that simple or that predictible. One person's coloration is another person's toleration.
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 06:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yeah, and racism don't exist,right??

You can't have it both ways, Cynnique.

Tonya
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Cynnique
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 07:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It ain't a matter of having it both ways, "Tonya." Racism and colorism are not one and the same. But you cannot understand the subtltites of the situation because you have a one-track mind.
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

--Roxie had the nerve to bring up the novel "The Bluest Eye" the other day---which was the story of the literal destruction of millions of little Blue Black girls in this country during the 30's,40's and 50's. Of course--Roxie did not look at the book in its historical context and doesn't seem to see that the WHOLE SOCIETY, including that little girl's BLUE BLACK MOTHER---hated that child for no other reason than...she was too black, and that like a streamroller, the WHOLE society--dismantled and destroyed that girl because they feared her.

Roxie has no memory of Black American women widely using Bleaching Creams in the 30s, 40s and 50s---she has no appreciation for the fact that a woman who looked like Naomi Campbell in that era, would be required to gain 200 pounds and put on a maid's uniform just to play a part in a movie---while those women who looked like Lena Horne, and were NOT BLACK--but so appointed by the WHITE DOMINANT CULTURE were fed to the masses...FED....as the image of what is "beautiful" in a black woman. Frankly, her Non-blackness. And so Roxie fails to see that there is a LONG, LONG history of justifiable anger, rage and contempt that drives this topic----as a character in one of my books says to her grandchild, "The world did not begin on the day that you were born."

I'm not even going to bring up the blue vein societies and paper bag orphanages and HBUniversities and ALL of the INSTITUTIONAL colorism that YELLOW PEOPLE employed during that era to protect/retain their yellow-ness.

And I'm not even going to bring up the evil Mulatto races in AFRICA.

Of course, Michael Jackson and Lil Kim are real-life continuations of "The Bluest Eye"....but the story goes so much deeper, and if you'll remember the ending of "The Blacker The Berry"...you will recall that the "light skinned" and "light brown" people in that book made the same excuses, dismissals of what happened to the lead character in THAT book.

In the 1920s, "Coal" black men had the saying: "I don't haul no coal"---meaning they wouldn't date a blue black woman...because she was BLACK. Of course if a WHITE MAN made such a comment---we'd call him a "racist", "the devil", etc. But somehow we sweep it under the carpet when whole LEGIONS of black men openly spew venom at the images of their own mothers.

Watching BET today is no different...at all.

But notice how people like Roxie completely ignore these realities, because the pain and erasure does not directly affect HER.--

Excuse Me Kola, how do you even KNOW I was never affected by this somewhere in my life? You only know me from the relatively few posts I've made on this site! How would I know about this shit if I never experienced it?! Did you know in middle school I wore hair pieces and harassed wavy-haired girls because I was obsessed with waist-length hair? NO, you didn't but since you LOVE to assume what my knowlege based on my posts, I guess I AM one of those girls!Clearly you like to assume I'm high yellow and you never even seen a PICTURE of me! Well, surprise I've seen yours and guess what? we're the same shade!

Also, Everything you mentioned I already know from my frigging books and my oldest relatives for christs sakes! Yes I know TBE took place in the 40s. Yes I know about the paper bag tests and bleaching creams! Yes I know lena Horne's successful career was due to her skin! Yes I know who Hattie McDaniel, Madame Sul te wan and Tess Gardella are! Oh, did I ever tell you about the black fellow classman in HS who only dated white girls? Or what about my neighbor with the same preference? I didn't think so. How about my F******** father who spouts out afro-centric dogma yet openly insults dark women incluing my mother?! I know I've mentioned my grand aunt, you know the one who's lighter than me but keeps venting on how "nappy" her hair is. she DID grow up in Pecola's society.
YOU have some nerve assuming What I know and don't know. Just because I never mentioned it in a post doesn't mean I didn't know it.


--Roxie has no memory of Black American women widely using Bleaching Creams in the 30s, 40s and 50s--

Oh btw you're what, in your 30's or something?
Isn't that like a 13 year old calling a 5 year old "kid"?

I know my past much more than most people my age, but EXCUSE ME for focusing on the future..
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hey Tonya, aside from Kola or cynnique, lets be clear on my opinion:
--it varies among regions, communities, families, and an indiviual's personal experience.--

This may not be typical, but I'm not denying that it's in the majority. I've seen it too often to believe otherwise. I am looking forward to working against colorism's influences,both subtle and blatant.
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:29 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Cynnique,

Intra-racism is racism.

Tonya
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Roxie:

I am looking forward to working against colorism's influences,both subtle and blatant.

Tonya:

That's wonderful!!!
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Continuing thoughts:

We need to shift the balance of thought among black people. We need to counter attack one of the most expanded forms of psychological abuses in the world. With that we must start with our children. Start teach new ideas to a new generation. Teach our boys and girls (as best as we can) that TV, the movies and most people in this country are wrong, that they've been brainwashed. For those who call me "naive" I AM aware this cannot happen overnight. This might take several generations, but that's each succeeding one that leans in our favor a little more every generation. Heck maybe by the next century we'll have a more African-centric society in the west. You never know.

Also how about we unite with the the N.Australians, Orang Asli, or the "negritos" of the pacific? Are they not one of the blackest peoples on earth too?

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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 08:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

As usual, you are completely right about black people and how they regard colorism.

Tonya
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Cynnique
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 09:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lotsa luck, ladies. First you have to exorcise yourself of your own demons, and vomit up all that "authentic blackness" crud. (Prediction: you'll never accomplish this feat and will thus fail.) And guess who couldn't care less? heh-heh
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 09:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Roxie:

your continuing thoughts sounds good!!

I'm confused about the "negritos" though. I know that some people in Mexico are called that, but that tittle makes my skin crawl.

Tonya
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 09:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

HAHA!!!

Cynnique, you're a mess!
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 09:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,
--I'm confused about the "negritos" though--

I'm referring to the natives of Papua New guinea, Adaman Islands, Phillipines, Indonesia,and some of of the pacific islands closest to Australia. I used "Negritos" for lack of a better word. I agree with you, I wish a new word was created myself.
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 10:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Roxie,

have you been to any of these places?
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Roxie
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Posted on Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 08:25 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

No. But I sure research a lot about them. I want to see the real places one day instead of a photo, though.

Here's some examples of the ppl I metioned earlier:

Native Australians:
http://www.imagesud.com/aus0111.jpg
http://www.forsyth.k12.ga.us/schools/sawnee_elem/kane/australia/images/aborigine s.jpg

Andaman islander:
http://www.lacamon.com/resultados/20012002/muylarga.jpg

The Mamanwa of Mindanao:
http://www.mcni.org/pics/prod46.gif

Solomon Islanders:
http://www.hmsminerva.info/photos6.htm

The people of Irian Jaya, Indonesia:
http://www.icecap.ca/xmas/93irian1.jpg

And finally, the orang Asli of malaysia:
http://www.caspernahon.com/pictures/travel/images/malaysia_orang_asli_jpg.jpg

http://www.globaltravelwriters.com/AsliMum.jpg
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Roxie
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Posted on Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:03 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh I forgot
here's a Papuan:

http://anthro.palomar.edu/change/images/Papuan_women.jpg

http://www.flindell.org/peter/indokeerom/papuangirl.jpg

And Nicobar Islanders:
http://www.stayfinder.com/travelguide/india/destinations/islands/andamanandnicob ar/the_tribes/

Though scientists prefer to call them "negritos" It's clear who these people really are: distant Africans. Australians and "negritos" suffer the same psychological and physical abuses from coloial-bred colorism and racial hierarchy. Heck, the aborigines experienced a dilberate attempt by whites to breed them out of existance. Ever heard of the stolen generation? They call themselves "blacks" too, and are proud of the word.

What's better than forming an alliance with those who share the same struggle?
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Tonya
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Posted on Thursday, August 18, 2005 - 01:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Girl, I'm using the third picture for a screen saver!

Seriously, the pictures were all beautiful. Thanks for the info.

Tonya
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petiteqt
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Posted on Thursday, August 18, 2005 - 09:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Skin color seems to be more of an issue with women than with men.

..Or is it because of men that there is an issue?

It seems that some darker skin women feel that men still prefer woman with lighter skin....

I think that is probably the KEY issue, when it all comes down to it.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 03:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I thank God that we didn't have that problem in my family. I didn't even know I was light skinned until I started school and the school kids mentioned it.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 03:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What I find with white men is that they tend to date lighter skinned women who are willing to allow his family to believe that they are bi-racial. A lot of white men in the south are still afraid to take home an obviously NOT bi-racial black woman.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 03:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So, even in dating light skinned, they find a BLACK woman more attractive when they can point out her whiteness. This, to me, is an insult.
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Africanqueen
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Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 04:19 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

petiteqt,

you'd need to do a survey to get those questions answered.. but I don't think people will be honest.

Renata,

I think that that is an insult also. But what are you going to do about it?
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Tonya
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Posted on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Reneta,

Up here in Philly, NY and Jersey it's the complete opposite. White, Asian and Latino men tend to prefer dark-skinned black women. Out of the three I prefer Asian. It's something about them that I find extremely sexy. I have an African girlfriend who (for some reason) keeps predicting that I'm going to marry a white man. But I have a feeling that if I marry out side of my race, it's going to be an Asian man.

Tonya
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 05:18 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,

Stick with your own kind and forget about marrying a man of another race. Don't be a SELLOUT.!!
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Roxie
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Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 09:02 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Blkamericanking:

Pretty Extreme IMO,that's all I got to say. @_@
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Nels
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Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 10:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Blkamericanking --

"Stick with your own kind and forget about marrying a man of another race. Don't be a SELLOUT.!!"

(?????)

This is almost entertainment just short of being at its finest.

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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 01:01 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yall leave my Baby alone.

I'm starting to love Black King. :-)



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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 06:00 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Thank you so much, you really put a big smile on my face, with your fine self...LOL..

Nels,

You probably want an Asian or white man too. The last thing black men need is for black women to date or marry outside our race. There are a lot of good black men out there, but unfortunately a lot of you sisters just don't appreciate a good black man when you see one. And as far as skin color goes, i am on the west coast and i know plenty of dark skinned women who won't even think about dating a dark skinned brother. They want those light skinned brothers with curly hair. I get so upset when they do that. So, this skin color issue is not only with black men, but black women as well. We need to teach black children at a very young age to love and cherish black skin.
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Danielle
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:04 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya, marry who the fuck you want to marry as long as he respects, loves and values you. Just stay true to yourself that's all that really matters. You only have one life, live it how you want to.
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Roxie
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:13 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Blkamericanking, Kola:

--We need to teach black children at a very young age to love and cherish black skin.--

The aforementioned sentence is about as far as I will go with agreeing with you two. I respect that you two have a different experience and different perspective from myself on this issue and I'm not trying to attack either one of you for having so.

So please stop ganging together on the defensive. If I can accept your views, you can accept that my position on this issue is in a grey-zone. I can't speak for Nels, but I don't intend to hurt anyone with my comments, because that's all they are. They shouldn't be taken as law (as I notice some ppl do with Kola's comments.)

So can we please avoid a(nother) war here?

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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 12:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There you go again Roxie.

Ignoring the FACT that I have stated many times that I would MARRY a White man or (especially) a LATIN man.....if I could not find a Black one and felt that I had to get married.

There's an entire thread on here about my date THIS SPRING with a White Jewish man.

I once lived with a White man for 5 years (although, he was married).

I've been just about every different race of man.

BUT...my only love and desire is THE BLACK MAN. PERIOD. That's who I've always wanted and wanted to be accepted by.

If I could CLONE my children's BLACK father---then we'd have our man shortage solved, and even more importantly, we would have a Black Man who PRAISES "Black Women"...to raise and teach our sons about the importance of cherishing and loving Black women. Albeit, he is a sexist controlling man---girls don't wear pants, he opens your doors for you, women don't work jobs----but still, he is the best man I've ever known.

In America...it's very difficult to get a Black Man to accept a Black Woman who is also VERY AFRICAN. Only once I began to be famous did the ones who like me start pouring out of the woodwork.

So this is a major problem....and at the core of my heart...I can't help being GLAD to hear a BLACK MAN admonish others emphatically to marry "Black".

That is not what the NATION of "Black men" is saying nowadays.

I'm far more flexible and understanding than you think.

But I also realize that we desperately NEED to set a "standard" in the Black American community, and it should be one that CATERS to "Blackness", not "compromises and dilutes it". Otherwise, the Black Americans are not going to redeem their ancestors.

And you're right. None of us are God----are opinions are just that.


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Africanqueen
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 03:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

kola: Yall leave my Baby alone.

I'm starting to love Black King.

Me: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :-)
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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 03:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Blackamericanking,

If most black men were not the assholes that they are about dark-skinned women then (maybe?) I wouldn't be thinking about marrying out-side my race. I say "maybe" because I have such a thing for Asain men that it's possible that I'd marry one even if black men were acting right.

Danielle: I hear you, girl!

Tonya
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 03:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Danielle,

Do you have yourself a white man? The white man will NEVER have the same love and respect for black women, the way he has for white women. Black women, please stop trying to convince yourselves that a white man can truly love you. It hurts me to see that there are a few weak minded black women on this board.
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Africanqueen
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 04:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,

I say marry whoever you please. Follow your heart. I'm not against interracial marriages and never will be. As long as you're safe and the one you're going to marry cares for you as much as you care for them. When you're in love, nothing really matters but your love.

It's very wrong of black men that they don't notice you. But hey, if you have something for the asians go for it. As long as you'll be happy. That's all that really matters.
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 04:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,

Please understand that i do not hate or dislike you. I am not here to attack you or anyone else on this board. As a black man i am simply being honest and saying what i feel.

BlkKing
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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 06:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Awwww

Black King is so protective. :-)

And we can all relate to his feelings. We've all had them at one time or another.


Shame Black King doesn't live in Tonya's town.

Maybe he could take her a single white rose

and for a carriage ride followed by a picnic out in the woods.

Then they could read each other poetry...or passages from the Bible that they admire.

Get to know each other with long walks where it's nice and quiet.

Bring Tonya some baby's breath for her hair

...and she could make him a sweet potato pie and buy him a nice pack of undershirts.


As an African mother, I would be so pleased. :-)


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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: You're a mess! Trying to start something, huh?? But you know that's your man, girl so don't even trip!

Tonya
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Kola
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 09:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya, my ass is old and frigid.

BLACK KING is "NOT"---my man.

I don't plan on having any men but my sons. At least for another two years.

And luckily, my agent's gay. (I adore him! :-))

So I'm starting to feel really comfortable just being QUIET on the ranch and trying....TRYING so hard to get this very complicated new novel finished so they can stop pressuring me.

Now if only our new sister "Anonymous" would stop being a prick and act like a sister.

:-)







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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 10:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good Luck with the novel! Like I said, I can't wait for it to come out. And as far as our new "sister" is concerned, she seems like a prick indeed. But you're right, maybe some good old fashioned love will turn her around, or else we'll give her a hundred hits, alright....right between the eyes!!

Cyberspace eyes of course.

Tonya
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 05:15 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am starting to feel special on this board...LOL..

Tonya doesn't want me, she wants a white man...LOL...I don't think any of you ladies want a GOOD BLACK MAN like myself, you just pretend...LOL...


Kola,

I am just curious but have you ever dated an African American?
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Kola
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 05:36 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Of course.

I've dated many African American men.




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Kola
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 05:37 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And had sex with them, too.


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Anunaki3600
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 06:06 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You are now going to get BAK all excited. Hee hee hee. Either yo are working too hard or been up too early in the morning Kola. It's almost 1:00 p.m in Nairobbery (Nairobi).
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 06:18 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I don't mean to keep bothering you with so many questions. I have a very curious question about Arab women in America but i am not sure if you can answer it. It seems that arabs in America classify themselves as white and act racist against Black Americans. I think arab men in American get upset if their daughter or any arab women in general dates a Black American. Do you know of any Arab American women who has dated or is married to a Black American?
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Danielle
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 11:28 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Black King actually I am married to white man. He loves and respects me. He's just an average white man. He's not whigger. My feeling is all men are the same. The races may have differents their quirks but they are same. I am not weak-minded nor a fool. I know my self worth, no one defines me but me. I haven't turned away from black men, I just found a man that love and I'm comfortable with who happened to be white. If we were to ever divorce, I'd date whoever makes me feel comfortable.
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Danielle
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 11:44 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Before I go hang clothes on the line and clean up my house I just wanted to say I am light-skinned. I've been called everything from just plain yellow, to piss yellow, red boned to glowworm. Not of them has fazed me. I don't if the fact that I was light skinned initially attracted men or women to me or if it was just because I had that freaky air about me. Or so I've been told. I've never used my light skin to get by. I've used the fact that I was a female and cute to get what I want. Even if I were blue black I'd still get what the fuck I want. Because I'm a firm believer in you have to know how to work your shit irregardless of the circumstances. Nahmean?
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Blkamericanking
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 04:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Danielle,

I had a feeling you were married to a white man. If you are African American, you should know better. You are a weak ass black woman. Black women like you try to convince yourselves that a white man can love you, that is BS!!! I feel sorry for black women like you.
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Africanqueen
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 04:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Blkamericanking,

Give Daniel a break. She found someone that loves her so let her live her life. All that matters is that she is happy. Daniel, are you happy?

And Daniel,

I totally agree with you. Until a man admits to me that they don't want me because of my skin color, I would then think negative about them if they are my own black men. And well this hasn't happened to me yet so I'm not going to assume anything. I have never been rejected because I'm very confident in my own skin color. I am very dark and since I adore my beauty, most men from any race would want me. It is then up to me to say no if they aren't my type or whatever.

I am not against interracial dating and I believe there's many people out there like you who aren't as well. I say go with your heart, whatever makes you happy and keeps you safe.
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Africanqueen
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Posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 04:19 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sorry Danielle for misspelling your name.
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Roxie
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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 08:41 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola :

I misread the tone of your comment.

Sorry about that.



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Danielle
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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 08:59 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Queen if I worried about what people say and think about me I would've been in the fetal position a long time ago. What Black King should concern himself with is keeping his own black woman happy because I'm happy living a nice, ordinary life. So how he feels is extremely irrelevant. My life is mine to do what I please and I do. The only Black man's opinion on white people that I half to listen--because I make up my own mind--is my fathers. He has been through, dealt with enough people and put people through enough that hopefully he has learned grown enough to pass out advice. And just by your other post that I've read Black King, I know you haven't through enough to even talk to me about something as simple as breathing.
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Roxie
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Username: Roxie

Post Number: 126
Registered: 06-2005

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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 09:04 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh in a perfect world....

People's preferences for mates would not include skin color or hair type.
People wouldn't narrow their choices down to one physical attribute.
No one would date with intentions to wipe others out of existence.
No one would date with intentions to preserve their own people.
There would be more color-balance if partners were free to love one another without the psychological burden of color and status.

Oh in a perfect world....

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Danielle
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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 09:41 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The ironic thing is being married to a white man has made me more conscious of my blackness. Because I have to make sure that my kids don't lose that part of themselves. I'm a first generation American, my family comes from the islands. So I have to make sure these kids go learn the history of the West Indies, Americas and African.(and not just Eygpt) As where before yeah I would've taught them but it would not have been so pertinent. Hell, I need to tell them their paternal grandmother was Iroquois, one of the the fiercest Native Americans tribes. They will know all their roots. Beacuse some narrow minded people are going to consider then less-than, kids will be solid and well-rounded so should anyone question them about anything they have smart and quick response. And a scathing put-down if need be.
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Moonsigns
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Username: Moonsigns

Post Number: 637
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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 12:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I say it's complete bullshyt to suggest that one human being cannot truly love/appreciate another human based on the merit that they do not share the same race/color (in this case a White man loving a Black woman).

-Moonie

BTW, how's everyone doing?

Kola, are you feeling better?

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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 2044
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 01:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Moon! :-)

Hey girl.




I am better, but not great.

I am REALLY struggling to get this damned manuscript finished.....and because I know the story fully to the ending......I'm too lazy to write it down. LOL :-) I wish I could become BEWITCHED and just twinkle the book done.

Anyway, that's the thorn in my side. Getting this book finished.



__________

I agree with your last post----except-----this is America we're talking about where the playing field is not equal, and therefore, one person's race is superior to their mate's. So it's nearly impossible to gage WHY the "lower caste" person is really in it.

Until we make the playing field even for ALL PEOPLE---there will always be the Stigmas attached.





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Roxie
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Username: Roxie

Post Number: 129
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Posted on Saturday, August 27, 2005 - 08:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And I was afraid an even "playing field" would be seen as a childish dream. I feel better now.
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Mulatto^Diplomat
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Posted on Thursday, November 24, 2005 - 02:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Please stop referring to my mulatto brothers and sisters as evil. It is racist. You are sounding like Marcus Garvey.
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Aaron Sailor
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Posted on Thursday, December 29, 2005 - 07:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Colorism in the black community is only an issue if we keep talking about it. Let's not perpetuate something that the White Man started. Some of you negros are so COLORSTRUCK!!
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Anonymous
 

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Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 06:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

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