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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 950
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 02:40 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

...vulva.

This is the LAST time I get sick and surf the web in the middle of the night!

A German perfumer is apparently hawking a fragrance called Vulva, which allegedly "beguiles the senses with the scent of a real vagina."

I guess I should have seen this coming: You can buy fragrances that claim to transfix potential sexual partners through the wily use of pheromones, so it was probably inevitable that someone would try to bottle the, er, scent of a woman. And it's kind of great to send the message that the vulva is acceptable and erotic as is, in spite of messages to the contrary from the douche industry. Plus, if the fragrance becomes successful, we'll have department store staff offering to spritz us with some Vulva. Har!

But there's something I can't figure out: Who needs this product? The Web site calls the fluid "the object of every man's desire," so it seems it's being marketed to people who want to have sex with men. (Quick warning for anyone who wants to visit said Web site: Unless you want to view many Euro-trashy photos of a nude woman with the Vulva perfume vial covering her actual vulva, you probably don't want to visit the Web site.) But if you're a woman, and you want to use the scent of a real vagina to entice a man ... you already have a real vagina!! You don't need to buy this! If you're a man who wants to become the object of every man's desire ... is the scent of a real vagina really going to attract the kind of guy you're looking for?

I guess Vulva might be of interest to people who would like to have relations with women but can't, like prisoners and awkward adolescents. But the idea of those people sending away for this fragrance is a little too sad and weird to contemplate.

And so another bizarre product searches for a market. Meanwhile, we can only hope the Germans are developing a companion fragrance (possibly named "Nut Sack"?).


from salon.com
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Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie

Post Number: 721
Registered: 06-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 06:29 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

uh, gross.
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Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty

Post Number: 73
Registered: 02-2006

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 09:32 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

what woman actually wants to go around smelling like that.....it'll smell like you didn't bathe.
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 951
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 09:43 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

All I could think of: Remember that scene in Boomerang when they are all sitting sround the conference table talking about the new scent. Grace Jones gets upset at the results, whips off her panties and passes it around: "I want it to smell like thisssss" Then when it gets around to what's his face (the guy from the old 7-Up commercials) her slyly slips the panties in his pocket...

LOL That was a RIOT! Anyway...
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri

Post Number: 206
Registered: 01-2006

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 11:26 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh Yum! Pussy Perfume! I'm running right on over to Dillard's to get me some of that today. LOL!!!

Yvette - That's one of my favorite scenes in Boomerang. When Grace Jones takes her thongies off and wraps them around the fragrance developer's head!

Anyway, this story illustrates the theory that ppl will buy anything. Some ppl buy perfumes like this as collectibles. So if we have any entrepreneurs among us, just think of something crazy and it will probably sell.
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Cynnique
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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm sure it'll be just a matter of time before you'll be manufacturing vials of this product to sell on EBay, mzuri/muzuri. Hope you don't pass out from inhaling deeply as you create you own personal brand. EU. But just relax and think loving thoughts and that will get you through this torture. Lucky me. I can look forward to the scent of roses resonating through my computer screen. I await the beautiful sight of them, and thanks in advance! Have a woooooonderful day!
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri

Post Number: 207
Registered: 01-2006

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LOL Cynique! You always crack me up with your marvelous sense of humor and witty responses. And I'm just so delighted that you appreciate your roses. I hope you have a Blessed Day. Okay!

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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 953
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 01:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Anyone else here watch "Nip/Tuck"? There was an episode last season where the female owners of an upscale spa retreat develop a face cream in which the key (and secret) ingredient was men's...essence. It was a hot seller. Joan Rivers guest starred and was rubbing that stuff all over her much made-over visage! LOL

Hey, maybe there is an untapped, potentially booming market in human secretions afterall!
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri

Post Number: 208
Registered: 01-2006

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 03:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't watch Nip/Tuck, but animal fluids such as milk, honey and placenta have been used in beauty treatments since forever. I have heard of ppl doing semen facials, it's supposed to be good for the skin because it contains proteins. Don't know if it's a commercially available product though.
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata

Post Number: 849
Registered: 08-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yvette, I loved that scene, too!

Mzuri, semen may have protein, but the people could have probably gotten the same effect by putting ground beef on their face.

This reminds me of RuPaul. Years ago, he said that he wanted to develop a perfume and call it:
WHORE!

The slogan: For she who is.

LOL
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 4468
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Mzuri: "I have heard of ppl doing semen facials, it's supposed to be good for the skin because it contains proteins.."


I gave my fairshare for those kinds of facials back in the day. But that was before I found Jeezus.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 4469
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I keep thinking enemies will be spraying this bottled p-funk on each other to sabotage other foks marriages.

Expect the following to occur soon after Vulva hits the American market:
"Husband: I swear, baby! I ain't focking NOBODY else!
Wife: Kneegrow, PUULEASE! I smell her cQQchie ALLOVERYAH!!! Couldn't you at least have had enuff self-respect to take a shower after you climbed up outtah her nastya$$?"
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 955
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am laughing my ass off here, people.

There. You know I am f'real: I actually said "a**."
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri

Post Number: 211
Registered: 01-2006

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Renata - Actually, avocados have protein and they make wonderful facials.

ABM - P-Funk? As in Parliament/Funkadelic? LOL. Your a$$ is too funny! Do you do stand-up? Do you need an agent?
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 957
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

bottled p-funk

Woooo (*still laughing*) Any Prince fans remember his song "P-Control"? And now his latest song is "Black Sweat"...maybe my Mnpls homie would be interested in marketing a U.S. version of this product.

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