| Author | Message | ||
     Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2079 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
ABC News "investigates" why Black Women can't find a Black Man to Marry"  | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2080 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
My first impression was that there really must be something wrong with these women. Then I thought, "waddya you expect, they are in Atlanta". These ladies haven't even gotten to the monogamy part yet... I also wondered what it would take for ABC to do a special on four women who had little difficulty finding a Good Black man and were very happy as a result. | ||
| Libralind2 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Libralind2 Post Number: 1267 Registered: 09-2004 Rating: N/A |
Those stories arent newsworthy LiLi | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1327 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
These sistas are pathetic. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14478 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Are you in a committed relationship, Nels? We know you don't want a black woman but do mixed and white women want you???? | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14480 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
In the video clip I noticed that there was no mention made of another factor reducing the availablity of black men; the tendency of up scale professional ones to marry white women. I notice a lot of black princesses are seeking a male version of themself. Maybe they should look for someone to complement them, - like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle that, when inserted, completes the picture. Wishful thinking, I guess. But one should never underestimate the appeal of an "interesting" relationship. | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8451 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
I feel for them. There is a definite shortage of black men--I remember when I was laboring one summer on the railroad and this guy told me that once I got my college degree I would no longer be able to talk to the same women he courted. I got angry and said that would make no difference. He was right. If a Black woman gets on in life, gets advanced degrees and becomes an executive, she might as well realize that, unless she gets a non white man, she will be alone if she wants someone compatible. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3796 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
'I notice a lot of black princesses are seeking a male version of themself. Maybe they should look for someone to complement them, - like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle that, when inserted, completes the picture. Wishful thinking, I guess. But one should never underestimate the appeal of an "interesting" relationship." So true. Unfortunately, from all the hysteria, blogs, talk shows and TV stories, black women seem to be suffering from the "suitable male companion syndrome". I really don't know what to think. I do know that too many black women settle for thugs and men that will never give them what they want. And there are decent and worthy black men out there but the competition is fierce and hard. Black women need to understand this. Many seem to believe that they are entitled to a man that meets all their criteria. But reality says otherwise. I suggest they move beyond their self imposed race restrictions and demands and seek men who will treat them like they want to be treated. Until they move past this self limiting race fantasies and expectations, they will remain unmarried, alone or settling for dead end relationships. Only they can turn the situation around. No one can or will do it for them. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14488 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
It's not like black women have imposed race restrictions on themselves. Many are open to diversifying their dating pool but men of other races do not exhibit a great affinity for black women so, as usual, sistas are left to wallow at the bottom of the totem poll. You have to wonder what black women did to deserve such a fate in life? Historically, they've always held up their end and pulled their weight and done their best and their reward for being strong is how so many of them are relegated to a single lonely existence. Life is not fair.  | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1328 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: |
Cyn-- "Are you in a committed relationship, Nels? We know you don't want a black woman but do mixed and white women want you????" My current relationship is a long-term one. Her heritage is U.S. black, Ethiopian, Canadian Indian and white Irish. As far as women go, I've always been open minded, regardless of race, ethnicity, etc. What I do find pathetic about many typical black American women is that they are arrogant, dismissive and frequently hostile, but that's their choice, I guess. However, since I've never had a problem attracting attention from the opposite sex (i.e., black, white, mixed, Asian, Latino, etc.), it's all good over here. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3798 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: |
”It's not like black women have imposed race restrictions on themselves.” I have to disagree with that Ms. C. I read (and have personally heard) black women proclaim their faith to the race and will not date anyone other than a black man. Many black women take a sneering glee at accusing black men of so-called "jungle fever" or not being attracted to black women. Most of the whining about not being able to find suitable or desirable black men comes from black women who refuse to consider dating non-black men. Personally, I think this is a mistake given the gravity of the dating scene that so many black women profess to. ”Many are open to diversifying their dating pool but men of other races do not exhibit a great affinity for black women so,…..” Yep…..Unfortunately, this is true. But I think it is slowly changing. I see more white and Latino guys with black women than I saw, say, twenty years ago. In fact, when I go to the NEX or commissary, I often times will see a white guy with a black woman and they will have children. Never saw that when I first came in the military. ”…as usual, sistas are left to wallow at the bottom of the totem poll.” Wow! Sad, but very true……… ”You have to wonder what black women did to deserve such a fate in life?” Ya know, I believe there is something a number of black women can do. It will not completely turn the tide and make non-black men rush to black women but I am sure it could increase the dating hopes of a number of black women. I know this is a uber sensitive issue with black women and most will not allow the completion of the thought without resorting to screeching, histrionics and hysterically filibustering the discussion. A large number of black women could make themselves more attractive and competitive by reformatting the over compensative diva complex, loose the excessive weight and desist with the snarling attitude. Black women hear this over and over and over (from blacks and non-blacks), yet many will dig their heels in and deny that such changes need to be made or even that they exist. I have never understood such blatant denial of the obvious. I have talked to three of my black female friends about this very subject and they were in total agreement since they see much of my suggestions in their personal black female friends. I’m sure a reasonable number of black women would find dating and serious relationship seeking mates (both black and non-black) easier if such adjustments were made. But figure the odds of that happening….. ”Historically, they've always held up their end and pulled their weight and done their best and their reward for being strong is how so many of them are relegated to a single lonely existence.” True…..True….. . | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2086 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I was on the tread mill today. They all have TV's connected to them nowadays (thanks God). Anyway, as I was flipping through channels trying to get to the rap video station I caught a segment on a AM talk show about a new TV show called "Lets Talk about Pep" or something like that. From what I could gather it is a show about the trivails of 4 Black women who can't find a man. Surprisingly (at least to me), one of the sisters was Jacque Ried (sp?) from the old BET. I was like damn -- she can't find a man?! Then I caught myself realizing it is just "reality" TV. During the interview which included Jason Kidd's ex wife as one of the menless women. Peppa (of the rap group Sal-n-Peppa), explained that it is easy to find a man if you bring your standards way down... Again, I still think if we spent more time celebrating our happy couples instead of focuing in women who are supposedly struggling. The young ladies coming up would not be burded with the artifically lowered hopes of finding a man. It was like my generation who came up being taught no matter what you do the white man hold you back. That killed a lot of brothers right in the starting blocks. NTFS, the women complaining, the loudest are usually not overweight (the ones in the video are typical). Besides we all know plenty of large women who manage to snare a man despite the wieght. I will agree that women (and men) are all better off maintaining a healthy weight. Not becoming obese should be done for its own benefit, not just to snare a mate. In reality, the weight issue is usually one of self-esteem which typically reflects an underlying problem that is most likely the root cause of one failing to attract a mate in the first place. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14489 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Nels: If the insulting comments you make on this board about black women are any indication of the attitude you display toward them in person, no wonder black women are hostile toward you.  NTFS: Right off the bat, we have to take into consideration how black women outnumber black men almost 2 to 1. That alone puts them at a disadvantage. Black men can pick and choose, and even if all black women undergo "make-overs" there will still be thousands of them left behind. Setting their sites on men of other races doesn't offer black women great prospects, either, because there's no reason to be believe that great numbers of white men will choose black women over white women. It's all black women can do to get black men to choose black women over white women. Actually, rather than rejecting them, I think black women would be flattered if eligible white bachelors started paying serious attention to them. But that ain't gonna happen. Troy: Focusing on happily married couples could be what raises the false hopes of single black women.  Men aren't such a good source of advice when it comes to winning a mate. Women who have scored a good husband are probably who single females should listen to. I'm just glad I'm not out there in the rat race trying to trap a rodent, although if I went on the prowl as a "cougar", I might could attract some opportunistic giggolos.  Personally, I think finding a suitable man who wants to marry you has a lot to do with just plain LUCK, and finding your soulmate borders on being a miracle!  | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2545 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Damn, I was going to stay out of this mess until someone implied that white men do not pursue black women. That's straight bull shit. Also, this notion that being pursued by the blue eyed devil, would be some kind of reward, is pure nonsense. Most black women that I know, do not even like the smell of white men, let only having one of them kiss her. | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1329 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: |
Cyn-- "If the insulting comments you make on this board about black women are any indication of the attitude you display toward them in person, no wonder black women are hostile toward you." They aren't hostile toward me, that's just what I observe them doing to virtually everyone else. Calm down and take a "chill pill". | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14490 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
It's not necessary for me to calm down because I haven't lost my cool, Nels. I always consider the source when I read your posts.  I'm curious, however, what it is about you that makes black women virtually hostile to everybody else but you. Guess you do a good job of concealing the contempt that you use this board as an outlet for. Either that or because you don't make an impression black women ignore you. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14491 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yeah, Carey, you shouldn've kept you nose out of this BS since all you have to contribute are conclusions grounded in anecdotal generalities - like everybody else. For every black women YOU know who doesn't like white men, there are black women me and others know who have no problem dating or even marrying a white man. For every white man YOU presumably know who shows an interest in black women there are obviously a multitude of others who do not. Black women would be "flattered" by the attention of eligibile white bachelors, because women in general are flattered when an attractive man shows interest in them whether they take it to the next level or not. So stfu. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2087 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, better to raise "false" hope than to dash dreams out the box. In Harlem and the rest of NYC there are many interracial (Black/white) couples. Most that I observe are of the Black woman white male variety. Of the Black male white woman variety. Homeboy is virtually always very well off financially. Actually of the caes I personally familiar with, I'm unaware of any exceptions. People should hook up with anyone willing to love them -- full stop. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14492 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Love is the great equalizer. I think everybody can agree on that, Troy.  | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2244 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"”It's not like black women have imposed race restrictions on themselves.” I have to disagree with that Ms. C. I read (and have personally heard) black women proclaim their faith to the race and will not date anyone other than a black man. Many black women take a sneering glee at accusing black men of so-called "jungle fever" or not being attracted to black women. Most of the whining about not being able to find suitable or desirable black men comes from black women who refuse to consider dating non-black men. Personally, I think this is a mistake given the gravity of the dating scene that so many black women profess to. ”Many are open to diversifying their dating pool but men of other races do not exhibit a great affinity for black women so,…..” Yep…..Unfortunately, this is true. But I think it is slowly changing. I see more white and Latino guys with black women than I saw, say, twenty years ago. In fact, when I go to the NEX or commissary, I often times will see a white guy with a black woman and they will have children. Never saw that when I first came in the military. ”…as usual, sistas are left to wallow at the bottom of the totem poll.” Wow! Sad, but very true……… ”You have to wonder what black women did to deserve such a fate in life?” Ya know, I believe there is something a number of black women can do. It will not completely turn the tide and make non-black men rush to black women but I am sure it could increase the dating hopes of a number of black women. I know this is a uber sensitive issue with black women and most will not allow the completion of the thought without resorting to screeching, histrionics and hysterically filibustering the discussion. A large number of black women could make themselves more attractive and competitive by reformatting the over compensative diva complex, loose the excessive weight and desist with the snarling attitude. Black women hear this over and over and over (from blacks and non-blacks), yet many will dig their heels in and deny that such changes need to be made or even that they exist. I have never understood such blatant denial of the obvious. I have talked to three of my black female friends about this very subject and they were in total agreement since they see much of my suggestions in their personal black female friends. I’m sure a reasonable number of black women would find dating and serious relationship seeking mates (both black and non-black) easier if such adjustments were made. But figure the odds of that happening….. ”Historically, they've always held up their end and pulled their weight and done their best and their reward for being strong is how so many of them are relegated to a single lonely existence.” True…..True….. " LOL NTFS, that is so not true I really don't think you have as much insight into what is going on in the dating lives of black women as you pretend I used to post on a lot of AA boards where a lot of black women frequent. And ALOT of them appear to be VERY open to dating outside their race, and many of them find men of other races attractive. Every week they were posting photos of men of different ethnicities that they found hot. And quite a few of them were married to non black men, and had pictures of them (husband, children) in their profiles. The site Nappturality has a lot of black women involved in interracial relationships. "true. Unfortunately, from all the hysteria, blogs, talk shows and TV stories, black women seem to be suffering from the "suitable male companion syndrome". Yeah but blogs, & talk shows are quite unreliable. Blogs in particular are common for posting a lot of hate messages becuause they are not moderated at all. On many blogs you see alot of hate posts from racist white people all the time about black and latinos. Its certainly not a credibly resource for what is really going on with black women or any group of people. And talk shows are all about sensationalism ala Tyra Banks. They pick the black women who fit the worst stereotype and just run with it. I hear interracial dating is more common between Black women & non black men outside the states like Canada. I know a lady who lives in Canada and she says its not uncommon to see white men with very dark black women. The culture is quite different over there. I really don't see a lot of single black women. Where I'm from its uncommon to see anybody not coupled up with another person. Everybody is involved with somebody. Most men think that I'm married or seriously involved with somebody-so the sterotype that all black women are single, lonely, and childless is just untrue. The media needs to stop this garbage | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2245 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"A large number of black women could make themselves more attractive and competitive by reformatting the over compensative diva complex, loose the excessive weight and desist with the snarling attitude. Black women hear this over and over and over (from blacks and non-blacks), yet many will dig their heels in and deny that such changes need to be made or even that they exist. I have never understood such blatant denial of the obvious." Yeah but I hear the same complaints coming from White men about American White women. Many of them are now interested in Asian women because they are more petite and apparently less promiscuous more submissive than white american women. This is a popoular complaint but it doesn't get polarized like the complaints about black women | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2246 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
I think the problem isn't race but the fact that as you get older, (in this age obsessed society)especially as a woman the dating pool shrinks & the men in their age group are already married, & settled or looking for younger women. A lot of women who focus on their careers and decide to settle down & look for Mr. Right in their 30s and beyond face this, this happens to women of ALL races. You can ask a White woman in their age group and she's probably struggling with the same thing. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14494 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Well, as I say, all of these claims about how the black women one person knows reject dating white men, and how the black women another person knows is open to dating white men is just anecdotal. I don't think there is a preference that is common to the millions of African-American women in this country. It's an individual thing. I find it hard to believe that if a white, affluent, professional, white man who was good- looking and sexy showed an interest in an ordinary black women that she wouldn't give him a play. The reason a lot of black women are not into white men could be because the white men who approach them are unattractive losers. If black women, however, are counting on a significant number of white men to suddenly start forsaking women of their own race to start marrying black women, then they are in for a rude awakening. Sistas have to get in line behind the Asian and Hispanic women. And, once again, there aren't enough eligible black men to go around. So no matter how black women change their persona, a whole lot of them are still going to be out of LUCK when it comes to snaring a husband! | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14495 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
All 3 of your posts were full of contradictions, Brown Beauty. You accuse NTFS if not being that well informed about black women and then say you don't see a lot of single black women, yet you claim to have your finger on their pulse and know what they are thinking. You say blog postings are unreliable but give no reason as to why we should consider you an authority of what black women are thinking and - why white men like Asian woman. You say sistas are content but then claim they need attitude adjustments in order to solve their problems. You are no different from anybody else. You draw your own conclusions about what you have observed. All you know is what you see and how you interpret it, - Kola.  | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2547 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Miss Driving Daisy: "Black women would be "flattered" by the attention of eligibile white bachelors, because women in general are flattered when an attractive man shows interest in them whether they take it to the next level or not. So stfu" Yes, flattery does stoke a person's ego. Yet, to imply that it's a great come-up to be pursued by a white man, is denying your own beauty. Old Mr. Charlie loved him some black meat. Look in the mirror! See, you have no problem jumping on Nels for his opinions but once again you followed NTSF down the road of demeaning blacks. You're such a pawn. You have all the markings of a fence straddling negro. I certainly know why you tweek when a white man looks at you. It's in your blood. Stop it Miss Daisy. Your colors are showing. Don't you have any shame? Bend over. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2548 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Sin City Cynique: "I find it hard to believe that if a white, affluent, professional, white man who was good- looking and sexy showed an interest in an ordinary black women that she wouldn't give him a play. The reason a lot of black women are not into white men could be because the white men who approach them are unattractive losers" Damn, it's become glaringly obvious that you're out of your rabid mind! So "YOU" find it hard to believe that other black women do not want anything to do with a white man? You're sick! If you don't see a problem with giving your mind a body to a white man, you're burn up. Go to sleep. Lay it on down. You're done. Before you go, don't forget to burn your Klan robe. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2247 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"You say blog postings are unreliable but give no reason as to why we should consider you an authority of what black women are thinking " Why should we consider you then? Whenever this topic comes up about black women having a hard time finding a man, it's usually older black women. There's a documentary featuring black women saying how they have a hard time finding a soulmate because of their race, but some of the women featured appear to be in their 40s & up. Who wouldn't have a hard time finding somebody at that age? | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10488 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
I didn't watch all of the video, so may what follows was already touched on within. But I wonder whether and how often had any of the women in the video been with men who would have married them, perhaps even PROPOSED to them, only the women felt they were too young, still in school, too new in their career pursuits, etc. to marry. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14496 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
How the hell do you know what black women want, Carey? Are you one of them??? You don't know jack except what some ol broken down hard up women you are trying to screw are telling you. Who are YOU to speak for all black women? Will it ever get through you numb skull that just because you reject something doesn't mean s h i t. You are no arbitrater who sets standards. All you are are a lame-ass fool who wears blinders and thinks his position is irrefutable. All of the previous posts on this thread testifying to the fact that more and more black women are open to dating outside of their race just roll off your hairy back because you are in denial. The truth apparently offends you. All you and your 1960 mind set can do is talk a lot of smack that bears no resemblance to reality in the 21st century. You actually seem to be unaware of the fact interracial marriages exist and that there are many black women who are not in agreement with your ridiculous stance. BTW, are you ready for the Savior's Day observation the Black Muslims will be celebrating in February? Got your Fruit of Islam uniform ready. 'All prepared to sit through one of Farrakhan's marathon speeches? It must've killed you to vote for Obama whose mama was a blue-eyed devil. You're pathetic. As far as I'm concerned a idiotic goof ball like is the best reason in the world for a black woman to consider dating men outside her race. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14497 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Oooh puleeze, "Brown Beauty". Did you check out the video at the beginning of this thread? Those 4 attractive women who couldn't find Mr. Right were all way under 40. And since you are playing the role of somebody who's in the know, why don't you have a man? Why were you reciting all of that "dialogue" about being discouraged by the prospects of not finding someone who would be faithful. You come out of some many different bags. One minute you're naive, the next minute you're sophsticated and worldly. Gimme a break. I have a daughter in her 30s who is still looking as are most of her girlfriends who are all single and who represent a broad spectrum of black women. I am not speaking as an old woman, I'm am repeating the things that they say when we have discussions on this subject. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2248 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"Those 4 attractive women who couldn't find Mr. Right were all way under 40.} Cynique the women in the video were discussing their age (one is 32 the other is 34) & how its harder for them now because they feel their biological clock is ticking. I hear this a lot from women of all races | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2249 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"I have a daughter in her 30s who is still looking as are most of her girlfriends who are all single and who represent a broad spectrum of black women. I am not speaking as an old woman, I'm am repeating the things that they say when we have discussions on this subject." Okay most of the people I know are in relationships way before their 30s. If you're not in a relationship then people look at you sideways. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2550 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Look Cynique, your deflection of the main issue might work if you were talking to a room full of children. I never said "all" women think like you or me. So go ahead and look for a little cream to put in your coffee, but I like mine black. Maybe Mr White & sexy is a good fit for you and your gurls, but I doubt they are looking for an old yellow crow. Mr Charlie might be looking for a few good house niggas, and it appears that you have great qualifications. I pity you... the fool. Who said a doctor has to get shot in order to administer to a wound? So I am not a woman? I have empathy for you, I understand your bitterness and loneliness. But many black women will not let their loneliness move them to desparation. Cynique: "All you and your 1960 mind set can do is talk a lot of smack that bears no resemblance to reality in the 21st century. You actually seem to be unaware of the fact interracial marriages exist and that there are many black women who are not in agreement with your ridiculous stance" Is that right? Well, many things have changed over time. Some are eating shit and barking at the moon. If you think that's in style, go at it. However, I don't think it's a good idea. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3801 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
”NTFS: Right off the bat, we have to take into consideration how black women outnumber black men almost 2 to 1. That alone puts them at a disadvantage. Black men can pick and choose, and even if all black women undergo "make-overs" there will still be thousands of them left behind.” I’ve heard this 2:1 myth many times before. It’s not true. Actually, the percentage of black female/male is 54%/46%. No where near the imagined overwhelming percentage of female to male that we hear about. I constantly hear this exaggerated gender ratio and I have no idea where it comes from. ” Setting their sites on men of other races doesn't offer black women great prospects, either, because there's no reason to be believe that great numbers of white men will choose black women over white women.” True. But don’t forget, there are other men who would probably consider dating black women if certain criteria (criteria that black women control) is met. Especially Latino men. Since they like thick women also, black women (as a group) could meet this interest. As you have suggested, it would not fill the gap or produce an unlimited pool of men for black women, but it would certainly give some black women opportunities for relationships. ”Actually, rather than rejecting them, I think black women would be flattered if eligible white bachelors started paying serious attention to them. But that ain't gonna happen.“ True again. But as I have said, black women (as a group) are not as open to relationships with white (or non-black) males as say black males are to white (or non-black) females. For example; When I go to the NEX or Commissary, the majority of black men I see with wives and children, are with non-black women. I must also point out that this is a specific demographic (military in a specific geographic location) and does not represent black males as a group at large. But I have a black female friend (ex-military) who has stridently maintained that black men in San Diego are dating at a 90% non-black female percentage. I argued with her for years about this, so she has now backed down to 80%! Yes, she maintains 80% of black men in San Diego date outside the race. Now, of course this is ridiculous but it is a perception she seriously believes. And I can understand why she believes this because to the casual observer, you might tend to believe something like that. But it’s not true. Another story. One day I was talking to my cousin who was living in Peoria at the time. She told me she was driving her car and almost ran a stop sign because she saw a black man walking and holding hands with a black woman. My response (like yours) was, "Duhhhhhh??? Why??” What is so hard about seeing a black man and a black woman? Her response (verbatim): “ Well, it because it’s rare to see a black man with a black woman because most of the brothers here don’t date black women.” Those were her exact words -not mine. Now, I have no idea how accurate that is but I suspect that it is not entirely true. But that certainly was her perception. One more thing. When I go back to Ohio, I often times see older white women with very young children that are obviously of mixed racial heritage. These are their grandchildren and you frequently see them at the mall, Wal-Mart, shopping plaza’s, etc. So, there is a black daddy somewhere in the picture. But back in the day, when I was very young, you did not see things like that….PERIOD! But now, it is not uncommon. And I see young black guys at the university where I went to school with white girls all the time. When I went to that school (which was 93% white), you never, ever saw a black guy walking around with a white girl!!! Today, well, it’s a different time and that particular racial protocol does not apply. But no where have I seen the numbers of black females with non-black males as I see with black males with non-black females. Why? Because of the reason you stated and the unwillingness of black females (as a group) to date males that are non-black. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3802 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
”Damn, I was going to stay out of this mess until someone implied that white men do not pursue black women. That's straight bull shit.” No one said no white man will pursue or date a black woman. But white men as a group, are not attracted to black women as a group. There is nothing to debate about this if you are in touch with reality. ”Also, this notion that being pursued by the blue eyed devil, would be some kind of reward, is pure nonsense.” What world are you living in Carey? Where did anyone suggest being with a white man is a reward? Please point out where that idea was floated! The discussion was about black women being open to dating non-black men and white men (as a group) being attracted to black women. Being white and being some kind of reward or privilege for a black woman, was never implied nor stated anywhere in this discussion. Your toxic racism has distorted your understanding of the nature of this discussion. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14498 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Arguing with Carey is a total waste of time. He actually puts me in a category with the single young women out there who are lamenting the fact that they can't a find good man. He can't figure out that this is not my status and that I am not speaking about myself in this discussion. My generation is not a part of this dilemma. Our day is over. Just like he can't figure out what he represents. He believes he is some kind of a wise moderator who determines what's right and who's wrong and that what he says is the final word. He has no idea how little credibility he merits and what a presumptuous fool he is. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3803 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
”I really don't see a lot of single black women. Where I'm from its uncommon to see anybody not coupled up with another person. Everybody is involved with somebody. Most men think that I'm married or seriously involved with somebody-so the sterotype that all black women are single, lonely, and childless is just untrue.” Where do you live? The Netherlands? Hawaii? Scotland? It’s obvious you are not in a major urban metropolitan area where there is a large black populous. Do you believe this talk of dateless and unmarried available black women is simply a myth? Do you actually believe black women are in relationships and marriage at the identical percentage as white and Asian females? I find it shocking that you would suggest there is no crunch for black women finding desirable mates. Tyra Banks and Oprah, both black female media divas, have had shows about this very subject. Black women in their audiences stood up and gave their personal testimonies to the problem of finding dates they are interested in. When I was in Washington D.C., that was the topic (desirable mates) that every black woman I met talked about! I personally know five black females in San Diego who are dateless and often talk about it. Four of them were previously married. Are they all wrong and you’re right? ”The media needs to stop this garbage” The media has nothing to do with this. It’s a reality that many black women experience everyday. I’m confident that they are not all delusional. Black women as a group are the ones who have been saying this –not the media. If it was a media driven ruse, black women would be out front, saying what you say. But that is not the case. And no one has stated that all black women are single, lonely and certainly not childless. Sounds as if your thin skin about this topic is distorting and denying the facts. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14499 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
NTFS, no matter what the percentage is when it comes to black women outnumbering black men, the fact remains that the high number of incarcerated black men, reduces considerably the pool of black men available to the black women who already outnumber them. As for The Hispanic and Asian men, their culture and tradition do not predispose them to go outside of their ethnicity. These are clannish people. They are not looking to diversify their dating habits. Yes, there exceptions to the rule but not a significant number of them. There is no magic formula which will guarantee to improve the lot of black women. It's easy for men to pontificate about what black women should do. Talk to all of the slim, poised, and open-minded black women who don't fit the stereotype and see whether there are men breaking down their doors looking for somebody to marry. All black women can really do is hope that they are lucky enough to beat the odds and find an acceptable marriage prospect. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14500 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
This thread is unbelievably long. The next person with a comment should start a new one, entitled perhaps: "Why black woman can't find a black man to marry, continued". | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 370 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
This is a fascinating thread. I agree with Cynique on just about every single point she's made. But there is one thing Cynique is wrong about. In Los Angeles County, one of the most surprising turn of events has been the explosion of Mexican Man-Black Woman couples. I would say that Latino Male/Black Female couples now outnumber Black Male/Latino Female pairings handidly. But the number of Black Male/White Female pairings still dominate all. There is also a Statistical Shortage of Black Females in the Los Angeles area now because of the "Exodus" of Black females after 2000 when Black men began choosing non-black partners and Black women, at that time, had no one to date. I would say the shortage of Black females has caused a major change. There is a "down low" dating phenomena going on with BW/Latino Men. Biracial Black Men is a "new" group, mostly teenaged or college age and they seem to choose Black females I would say 3 to 1. Is this the Barack Obama effect, because they also tend to seek out darker skinned black girls I notice. Of course, in Los Angeles or San Diego, it extremely is rare to see Black Men and Black Women pairings up unless you go to the last of the ghetto areas, which aren't many anymore. Compton and Watts are now both over 60% Latino, so you don't have a huge black population anymore. The new desert towns of Moreno Valley and Victorville still have what is called "Black love", the majority BlackMan/Black Woman couples are in tact in those areas. But that's about it for California. I would say this state is the interracial mecca rivaled only by Seattle and Minneapolis. | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1330 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cyn-- Black women are their own problem when so...not mine, and no attempt to rationalize their erratic behavior will change that. They are what they are, and I have absolutely no sympathy for either them or anyone else in their predicament. Phuck the bullsh!t and let's get down to brass tacks. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14502 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I am not attempting to rationalize the behavior oF black women or do I care whether you sympathize with them or not, Nels. Who needs you??? You are a non factor in the situation. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14503 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
California in general and LosAngeles specifically cannot be considered a microcosm of this country, "Nafisa Gomi". The scene out there is unique to the kookiness which characterizes La-La Land. And pardon me if I never think of Hispanic men as being "good catchs". | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3804 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
”Whenever this topic comes up about black women having a hard time finding a man, it's usually older black women. There's a documentary featuring black women saying how they have a hard time finding a soulmate because of their race, but some of the women featured appear to be in their 40s & up. Who wouldn't have a hard time finding somebody at that age?” Late post. I just saw this. Brownbeauty123, that is the most grossly inaccurate and ridiculous statement I have heard in a very long time. If there was anything as a comment that has no links to reality, your statement sets the standard. Not trying to be offensive or disrespectful, but I can’t say it any other way…… | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2250 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"Where do you live? The Netherlands? Hawaii? Scotland? It’s obvious you are not in a major urban metropolitan area where there is a large black populous. Do you believe this talk of dateless and unmarried available black women is simply a myth? Do you actually believe black women are in relationships and marriage at the identical percentage as white and Asian females? I find it shocking that you would suggest there is no crunch for black women finding desirable mates. Tyra Banks and Oprah, both black female media divas, have had shows about this very subject. Black women in their audiences stood up and gave their personal testimonies to the problem of finding dates they are interested in. When I was in Washington D.C., that was the topic (desirable mates) that every black woman I met talked about! I personally know five black females in San Diego who are dateless and often talk about it. Four of them were previously married. Are they all wrong and you’re right?" I live in an area where there is a major black population. I went to a university that was very diverse and I still didn't see a lot of interracial dating. Growing up I lived in a middle class neighborhood with mostly black couples and one interracial couple. I'm not from San Diego, or Seattle or any of the states where black men are dating outside their race in large numbers. "When I was in Washington D.C., that was the topic (desirable mates) that every black woman I met talked about! I personally know five black females in San Diego who are dateless and often talk about it." That's really unfortunate if its really true maybe they should move. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 371 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, You are right again with your assessment of Los Angeles/California. It is a different area. Like I said, on this particular thread I agree with just about everything you have stated. In my opinion, you're being the most objective and factual of everyone else. NTFS, I think you should "rephrase" your comment about "White Men as a Group" not wanting to be with Black Women to emphasize that you are talking about marriage or serious commitment and not casual sex. I would say that given the opportunity, the majority of White males would "sex" an attractive black woman with no reservations whatsoever. The problem is that Black females cannot produce White children. Therefore, White Men overwhelmingly marry the women who can produce White Children and keep as "mistresses" the other races of women. I'm speaking "in general." Because even with the high number of WhiteMale/AsianWoman marriages, it still remains that only 3% of White Men marry outside of their race. 97% WM marry White Women, and if you talk to the ones who have "OTHER side dishes", they will often admit that they like their EXOTIC girl better, but she can't make a white baby. Black Men don't generally place the value on Black children that White Men place on White Children, and along with that fact, Black Men are also conditioned in the U.S. that a mixed child IS black. This is the reason that Black Men have nothing holding them back from marrying out of their group--unlike the White Male, their goal is not self preservation. So it's not that "White Men as a Group" aren't attracted to Black Women. That's baloney. White Men can't sustain White Power without white children. 2nd Thing NTFS, The most attractive Black Woman is often passed up by Black men for any combination of White Skin, Straight Hair. On the streets in California, you will see angry WHITE WOMEN viciously CURSING OUT Black Men,rolling their eyes, complaining about lack of money, calling these men "ni66er" and having general foul attitudes and nobody says a thing. Fat unattractive White & Latina women have the "status" of whiteness to make them more viable than a pretty brown skinned church girl with a great smile and some mean cooking skills. I do agree that it behooves Black Women to become more athletically-inclined and to cultivate a "black beauty" aesethetic that is unique to Black women. But I don't think it will help them very much in overcoming Black Men's general belief that "light w/straight hair" is better. The best bet that black women have--is that Black Mothers have to get radical and consciously raise their sons that "dark" is better, that Blackness and Afro hair is a badge of great honor to possess. If Black women banned television & magazines from their homes and raised their infants from day one to think this way--they could change things. But when half the Black Mothers are high yellow and the dark skinned half are "colorstruck", that isn't likely to happen. Most black MALE children believe that "light w/straight hair" is superior, because their Mothers believed that way and "accidentally" passed it to the children. The Mother "Wishes" she had straight European Hair---so the Son goes out and marries someone who does. It really is that simple. But Black Women are "FRANKLY" too stupid to see how the social images work against them and how they themselves take part in conditioning Black children to worship lightness. Brownbeauty124, I don't think age is a factor at all in the dating pool for Black women. A major factor in understanding this dilemna is that you can't count places like Chicago, Atlanta, The South In General or Newark, NJ because those places are the LAST TRENCHES for Black love. They haven't been hit as hard YET with this imbalance. You appear to live in an area like those, and it makes it harder for you to see the national picture. At school "Proms" in the rest of the country, you have bus loads of dateless Black girls. As school dances, Black girls are the ones standing against the wall not being asked to dance. You will often see young Black women traveling in packs--or alone--to movies, to concerts, etc. Walking in front of them will be Black men holding the hands of White, Latina, Asian, etc. I think the phenomena of 'caste system' in the Black community has always warned us that this day was coming. Now that Blacks no longer prize the Mulatto as their chief everything, they are free to just abandon blackness altogether. The Black Men, just like any other racial group of Males, have the upper hand and feel entitled to abandon Black Women yet continue using them as concubines. To Black Men, this is liberation and they demonize Black women to assauge any guilt feelings. It's basically what all Men do given the chance to horde over women. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14504 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
"Nafisa Goma", are we still supposed to believe that you are some Arab woman who is a publicist for the now defunct House Of Kush publishing company?? Puleeze. Your post has "Kola Boof" written all over it. It is a re-cycling of what she has been preaching to this board for years. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 372 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Yes. That is what you are to believe. My post is right through and through as well. The truth is still the truth. That is all. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14505 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
No, that is not all. Truth is relative. There is a truth and then - there is the whole truth. What you speak is YOUR truth - the world according to Kola, a scenario wherein Kola designates the heroes and villains, and sets her own standards for beauty. Furthermore, this is the year 2010 when it is hazardous to make predictions. The patented rhetoric of the last century doesn't apply to a quixotic diversified world where there are no absolutes and where upheaval can be spontaneous. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 373 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Miss Cynique, Kola's womb produces babies just like yours once did. I would argue that her outlook is just as important as you seem to think yours and everyone else's is. A major fact is that Kola's "line" is likely to remain Black and be Blacker than yours, so it's probably her thinking (and that of so many women who think just like her) that will set up the changes "for Blacks" in the new century. I could honestly name a BEVY of Black women whose work espouses the same message as Kola's from Erykuh Badu to Toni Morrison to Marita Golden to Lauryn Hill to Terry McMillan. They seem to outnumber you. (1) I also note that Blacks were once enslaved and literally spit on Harriet Tubman when she tried to inform them they were even slaves. (B)Blacks once lived under Jim Crow Laws and thought it was perfectly normal until a new young rebel generation decided it wasn't in fact the natural order of things. Aren't those two statements TRUE??? So regardless of your "quixotic diversified world" there will exist the Kola Kids and your grandkids will most likely want to be like Kola's kids. Mixed people often become terribly obsessed with regaining their Blackness--you've lived long enough to witness that right? Kola envisions a future in which a more conscious strain of Black people will exist and I've seen first hand that her own sons fit her & their father's ideal of what Black Men should be. I don't see any reason why her subversive ideas are impossible or unfounded when Toni Morrison wrote an entire novel "Paradise" predicting the very future Kola Boof is predicting. I challenge anyone to read the assertions that I made about Black Women Dating in my last post and then claim my oberservations don't have merit. The facts in my last post are pretty solid. BTW. As much as Kola has been slandered, lied on and villified by people at AALBC.COM I don't see why she owes it the "anonymous" posters here (yourself included) to not also comment anonymously. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 374 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
One more thing--- After reading much of what Michelle Obama has written over the years since college til now, I can safely say that I see her also in that group of Black women that pretty much envisions the future "for blacks" the way that Kola does. Though Kola Boof is more vocal, terribly aggressive even--I don't think she's the least bit an isolated enigma when it comes to Blackness. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10489 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Do you know there are more African American MALES born every year than there are AA females? Do you know there are more Black males ages zero through 19 than there are females? Yet, overall, there are 2 million more Black females. This issue of Black women not being able to get a man obfuscates a much more GRAVE one: Black men are systematically wiped out at GENOCIDAL levels. And EVERYBODY just shrug their shoulders at that. There will never been enuff Black men for Black women UNTIL we all - Black men and Black women - can effectively do SOMETHING to help Black men to LIVE. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 375 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
I co-sign what ABM just said. That's absolutely true and huge part of Black disparity are the various "Planned Parenthood/Prison" systems that are basically set up to slaughter Black men. That's before we even discuss the gang culture/drug economy that general society encourages amongst Blacks. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2251 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
Are black women in other countries having this problem ? | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14506 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ooh, blah, blah, blah, Nafisa-Kola. As far as I'm concerned - as you know - I don't give a s h i t about what color people are going to be in the next century. And I am totally unimpressed with your desperate belief that your heritage is more sacred and legitimate than mine inasmuch as yours hasn't proved to be viable. To me you remain a myopic visionary - a subjective thinker who has cloaked yourself in a false sense of superiority and entitlement, a has-been wanna-be reduced to grasping at straws, and making inocuous references to fashionista Michelle Obama and her mixed brats and crazy-assed Lauren Hill and ball-busting Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou and her pseudo profundity. Whatever it is these Grand Dames are bitching about from their comfortable perches is lost in the mire of their inertia. You can beat your breasts and extol your hopes as the "truth" but you and your delusions of grandeur cannot control what the color of survival will be, and the paradigm of the trend does not favor your pathetic dreams. It's all about evolution and the survival of the fittest. Time brings change. Reality is what it is. In the mean time, have your weave tightened and get your victimization in check. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 378 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Brownbeauty123: Are black women in other countries having this problem ? No, only in the United Kingdom and U.S. Black women in the U.K. are much worse off as the numbers are dramatically higher than here. In the rest of Europe, however, it's a very different picture. African women in France, Russia, Belgium and Italy are more in demand than African males and the numbers are reversed. Then again, you have to NOTE that in those countries--images of Black Female Beauty have always been prominently displayed & promoted right alongside White Female Images. Women like Grace Jones, Iman, Naomi Campbell, Alek Wek & Jospehine Baker are TOP BEAUTY ICONS in France, Russia, Belgium and Italy. Therein lies all the difference. In Africa, of course, there isn't generally anyone to "mix race" with in any significant capacity. Even the majority of their "Arabs" are Blacker than a Black American. But I'm sure that if huge numbers of Asian, White & Latino women could be transported to Africa--the same thing happening in America would occur over in certain countries--South Africa, Nigeria, Kenya and Namibia for sure. As so many Scholars have written, this phenomena isn't really about "Men & Women" mating--it is about continuing efficy of White Supremacist ideals as internalized by Blacks. Our need to aquire a more European look, which in turn brings "Status" comparable to Whiteness. At least that is what the average Black believe mixing will bring. Since CITY Africans are "skin bleaching" and now wearing "fake hair"--then that indicates a great many of them would like to mate out. 30% of Africans now live in CITIES. They look down on the 70% rural/traditional Tribal dwellers---and they have BET in Nigeria, which many of them complain about the "effect" of the images it shows. So while I'm sure the percentage of Africans WILLING/WANTING to "marry out" would be less than the percentage of Black Americans due to "tribal affiliations"---it would STILL be a significant number choosing interracial. Notice that almost every African Celebrities, both male and female, have chosen a Non-Black mate just like most male Black American Celebrities do. Those choices by those who've "Made It" indicate what the general Black Masses would do given the chance. Women in Africa don't have this problem because there aren't very many "Other" women there. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14507 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
"Black men are systematically wiped out at GENOCIDAL levels...And EVERYBODY just shrug their shoulders at that." This is hardly a subject that people are simply shrugging their shoulders at. Black communities all over America are in an uproar about the black-on-black crime among our young boys - the curse that is facilitating genocide and spawning a prison population. This is a no-win situation because the effective remedy is a cold, hard, radical one which would call for restrictions to be put on who can have children, - the answer being only married couples over 21, one of whom is gainfully employed. The chances of this unspeakable requirement happening are nil, so what remains is a stark reminder that some broken things cannot be fixed. Slim hope flickers in the natural phenomenon of how the pendulum swings forth after it swings back and, perhaps, when this cycle is completed the survivors of the children-killing-children holocaust will lay down the gun. I'm sure I will be regarded as crazy for sayng these things, but these are the ruminations of an old woman who over the years has seen nothing succeed but failure when it comes to curing the ills of society.  And so it goes. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 379 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, The funny thing is that I am still agreeing with everything you're posting. The thing is--you're not allowing us to discuss Solutions. You're coming in after everyone and saying "Shut up, shut up, shut up--this is just how it is and SHUT up." In order for us to query any solutions, we have to use our own "Theories" of why this is happening to come out with our individual opinions. I wholeheartedly agree with your posts in an "EVOLUTIONARY" sense, sure. You've not said anything that I don't already believe myself as a Critical Thinker. But that isn't enough for me to shut up and just accept things as they are. I also value different things than YOU value. Doesn't make either of us right or wrong. Just different. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14509 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Everybody is free to dispute what I say or offer alternative solutions. If I shut people down, that's their inadequancy not my domination. I can't be responsible for wimps who don't have the courage of their convictions.  One certain person doesn't think things through. He invaribly poses questions based on assumptions that are false. Another can never just disagree with an argument. Before he even offers a rebuttal he begins by declaring whomever he opposes as woefully wrong or rabidly misinfomed basing these conclusion on the idea that the opinion he is about to express is automatically right.  BTW, I can't recall having ever been successful in shutting you up. | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8458 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: |
"Many are open to diversifying their dating pool but men of other races do not exhibit a great affinity for black women so, as usual, sistas are left to wallow at the bottom of the totem poll. " The thing is, biologically the women (of all races) want to be pursued. Courted if you will. Since there is still a stigma in this country, on the whole, about going outside of your race men of other races, who lust after black flesh like a man in the desert lusts for water (due to them stereotypes)most men of other races will not openly pursue a black woman. They are all open to some back alley integratin at any time, though. Perhaps the solution is to say to hell with it and when they see a likely candidate, just chase the hell out of them and wrap them up. Women know how to do it. "I was on the tread mill today. They all have TV's connected to them nowadays (thanks God). " Troy, one day I'm going to come to the Apple and lay my hands on your head and cast them demons out of you. You are so tied to the Glass Teat (TV) you have to do it while you are excercising. You could do some thinking if you got on the treadmill and just excercised and let the juices flow. "Black men are systematically wiped out at GENOCIDAL levels...And EVERYBODY just shrug their shoulders at that." I don't give a damn long as it ain't me, since, at least with regard to homicide--and I know NFTS and NELS will laugh like crazy at this--it is US DOIN' THE KILLIN'! Yep! Though I eagerly blame everything on white folks--Comets, earthquakes, variation in the Magellinic Cloud--Ole Unka Chris must acknolwledge that if he is only in danger of The White Man takin him out, he will live to be old as Methusalah! | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8459 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: |
Some of this homicidal attitude is just our own fault. Just a couple hours ago I was walking down the street. A few doors down a car pulled into a driveway. I got wary and wished I had my pistol. A totally innocuous housewife looking woman got out of the car and walked up on the porch of the house the driveway was side of. I realized that, had I had a pistol, I would have pulled it without cause on somebody I did not even know and been in a world of trouble. | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8460 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: |
"It was like my generation who came up being taught no matter what you do the white man hold you back. That killed a lot of brothers right in the starting blocks." (I have never been told that. I never had nobody ever say that to me. I never ran across anybody who every said they didn't make it cuz somebody told them that. What they were probably saying, and you just didn't want to hear it, is that YOU GOTS TO KEEP YOUR EYE on them and NOT TRUST THEM--which is true about everybody-- Especially onesself.) | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14510 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Good show, Chrishayden! Nothing like the truth of humor to reduce life to its absurdities. No matter what, the little blue third rock from the sun known as Earth will continue to spin on its axis and follow its solar orbit even as its inhabitants pursue their ongoing quest to manipulate randomness and wish dreams into reality - whatever reality is. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10491 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Chris, I think the greater killer of Black men is NOT homocide. I think it's our diet and our inadequate health (physical and mental) and personal maintenance that does us in the most. And my point was NOT to blame anyone for the demise of Black men. My point is UNLESS something is done about this, it is pretty pointless to try to proffer any meaningful overture towards resolving the issue of Black women not being able to garner good BLACK mates. Because, regardless of how and why we die off, if we Black men are DEAD we can't be good husbands and fathers to ANYBODY. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14512 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Homicide is the chief cause of death for black males between the ages of 15 and 34, Chrishayden. Drug abuse and AIDS come in next. The impact of good diet and health care affects black women as much as black men. Latest figures calculate that 70 years is the life expectancy of a black male if -- he can't manage to survive not being shot to death in his youth or overdosing on drugs or contracting AIDS. The latter 2 are the factors which figure into the calculation of the number of eligible black males in the dating pool. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3805 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"NFTS and NELS will laugh like crazy at this--it is US DOIN' THE KILLIN'!" Chris, I’m not laughing because the black male killing fields lies at the feet of black males. The homicide rates among black men is shocking. I have many personal stories of such reckless wanton murders. When I go back to Ohio, the death rate with black on black murders is simply disgusting. The deaths are senseless and at times of the most indefensibly cruel nature. I’m not gong to get on the box about this one. The genocide is an intra-group issue that only blacks can address. Until then, it will continue….. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3806 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
Oh yeah, ABM, Chris and Ms. Cynique, there was much truth in all three of your comments. No doubt..... | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10496 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
NTFS, The homocide rate only accounts for 20 - 30% of the difference in the American Black female and Black male populations. The rest of the difference is a product of assorted other phenomena, including Black men having woeful health maintenance regimens and our being involved in higher risk activities (including vocations and avocations) like speeding, DWI, riskier professions, sports-related death, etc. So while I would agree homocide is a statistically significant part of the problem, even if the current murder rate of Black men was cut in HALF, there would STILL be many lonely BW because there would still be significally MORE BW than BM. And, btw, as much as we point to the murder issue, the current murder rate of BM is only HALF what it was 25 years ago. In fact, crime OVERALL is significantly LOWER than it was a generation ago. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14513 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I find it difficult to believe that crime and murder occurred more often in 1985 than they do now. Those sound like law enforcement stats, quoted in an effort to make these organizations appear to be doing a better job. When you start extrapolating rates and percentages instead of the actual numbers it gives a false impression. There is currently an epidemic of murder in urban America. Gang violence is rampant and danger abounds. 25 years ago I felt relatively safe walking down the street in the evening. But I don't now. | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1332 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
"I don't give a damn long as it ain't me, since, at least with regard to homicide--and I know NFTS and NELS will laugh like crazy at this--it is US DOIN' THE KILLIN'!" Ahhhh... Sounds like ol' Zeus is about to fart, and the natives will sho' nuff have no clothes by the time morning' comes round. Yezzz... Weeezzz doin' thuh killin'. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2089 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Chrishayden if you spent anytime in the gym, you'd know running on a treadmill is about as exciting as watching grass grow. Watching TV or listening to music helps you forgt about the monotony... I may watch more TV in the gym than I do at any other time during the day. Cynique, crime in NYC is WAY down compared to 1985. This is defintely not statistical manipulation (at least not here in NYC). I believe it is down nationwide was well (a quick search could confirm this). There may be areas where crime is up, but those areas are exceptions to the national trend. Besides I have not heard any credible source claim that the Black-on-Black murder rate was a cause for the dearth of eligible men. Even the video claiming that men without high school diplomas are ineligible is flawed. In that case you'd also have to back out women without HS dimploma as well which would probably eliminate the impact of that factor altogether. But again the purpose of the segment was sensationalism not education. Nafisa_goma you can forget trying to preserve a "Black race" here in the good 'ole US of A. It ain't gonna happen; not in a place where people are FREE to copulate with the person of choice. I can guarantee you the same thing would be happening in Black countires like Nigeria, if there was greater opporutnity for misegenation. | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8465 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
"Chrishayden if you spent anytime in the gym, you'd know running on a treadmill is about as exciting as watching grass grow. Watching TV or listening to music helps you forgt about the monotony... I may watch more TV in the gym than I do at any other time during the day." (I walk around the park near me for excercise--perhaps watching the other people, the trees and the scenery is my tv But I do excercise and work out sometimes--and when I do I keep my mind focused on my breathing, my muscles and my body. Ideas just flow--when I'm finished I can't wait to write them down Free Your Mind--and your Ass Will Follow-- No charge man) | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14516 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
My claim about black on black killing was that it was a form of genocide, Troy. I didn't contend that it was the reason black women couldn't find husbands. However, I would certainly draw a correlation between the great numbers of black men incarcerated for crimes as a reason for the drain on the black dating pool. Did I mention how overcrowded prisons have become during the past 25 years? But if you and ABM say crime is way down, OK - although you haven't cited any "credible" source. - If you want to deal with percentages and rates, than go right ahead. Misdemeanors and certain kind of crimes, like pickpocketing and purse snatchings and home invasions may be down but have felonies decreased? Has the great murder toll taken by urban gang warfare decreased?? Yeah, - maybe crime in North Dakota and Montana has decreased. I confess I am influenced by how crime in my home town is WAY up. People in Chicagoland that for years lived in comfortable crime free middleclass neighborhoods who are now afraid to leave their homes also have to view these stats with a jaundiced eye. So would Black mothers afraid to send their children to school, ever aware of how not a day goes by without some black youth being gunned down on the street. Then there are the grieving families of innocent bystanders who have fallen victim to random violence. This wasn't the case 25 years ago. The government is telling us unemployment is now down according to the latest figures, but the figures don't seem to translate into reality as unemployment benefits have once again been extended. They say figures show the recession is over, - as foreclosure continue to soar. Needless to say, I don't have a lot of faith in what self-serving authorities say. But - that's just ol cynical me. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 384 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Troy Johnson wrote: Nafisa_goma you can forget trying to preserve a "Black race" here in the good 'ole US of A. It ain't gonna happen; not in a place where people are FREE to copulate with the person of choice. I can guarantee you the same thing would be happening in Black countires like Nigeria, if there was greater opporutnity for misegenation. ____________ Troy, You obviously didn't read my posts, because I said all of what you said. I said EXACTLY what you said. In fact, I went even deeper explaining how and why for the U.S., the UK and Africa. I broke down Nigeria in particular. Better than you ever could. It's very frustrating when people attack people's opinions for "personal reasons" and don't actually read the posts. You came behind me and RE-POSTED the EXACT opinion that I wrote. SMH What I did say different from you is that people/families like Kola Boof's family will exist and will become more robust in their determination to stay black. Every black scholar in America agrees with that. Hence the book "PARDISE" where the whole nation of American blacks becomes Super-Mixed....all but these small pockets of towns where the Blacks rebelled and closed everyone else out. The novel focuses on one of these towns and its struggle to stay black. That is already happening and being documented. I wouldn't be surpised if DuBois's idea of the "TALENTED 10th" turns out to be that small 10 percent of Blacks who banded together in small out of the way towns and remained Black. The other 90% mixing themselves into the stratosphere. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14519 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
What I cant understand, is your insistence that white will wipe out black. Mixing doesn't turn people white, it turns them a beauuuuutiful golden brown. What golden people will produce is a race of golden people, unique in their heritage and free of all of the woes that accompany the strata of color. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Veteran Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 385 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, I can certainly understand how you would dream of that. I think North Africa & Brazil are infinite proof that you are wrong. But I can understand how you see it that way. Of course, though you and Troy Johnson and others may not believe it--there are a "few" people on earth who think that BLACK is the most beautiful thing you could be---just as you just described being "golden brown". In reality, Golden Brown is darker than SALLOW weak yellow or egg nog buttermilk complexions that we actually end up with. We aren't seeing Golden Brown coloring, which to me conjures up a skin tone like Whitney Houston or the color of perfectly fried chicken. I don't think that many lightskinned people have a Deep, beautiful coloring. They just look very pale and watered down IMO. I don't think that Alicia Keys is anywhere as beautiful as Lauryn Hill or Naomi--but that is just me. I do believe that Black America is going to be WIPED OUT. I've been saying that for years. It dies more and more every 10 years. But while Black America is likely to go the way of the American Indian and be WIPED OUT --I don't see Latinos, Asians, WHITES or any of those people becoming Majority Mixed-Race to make "AMERICA" Golden Brown. Those people are made of something much stronger than a slave plantation. The Latinos, Asians, WHites, etc. will survive as themselves. The so called "Browning of America" is really a fallacy that is FED to Black America mostly. Blacks have the "delusion" that America is getting "Blacker"--when in reality, the Latinos and Asians are making gains and the Blacks are being lowered into a separate deeper hell hole. This nation still has 200 million Whites and 100 million PeopleofColor. Few People of Color feel any "solidarity" with actual Blacks. So, I don't hold out much hope for your GOLDEN America. What you're going to have here--is what they have in North Africa & Brazil. 1,000s of scattered mixed tribes back-biting, murdering and hating one another while WHITE continues to hold all wealth and power. These 1,000s of mixed disconnected folks will be fanatical like Arabs, constantly at war with the few "Scant Blacks" who by then will consider them the enemy and none of these people Mixed or Black will be able to attain "unity" because they will no longer possess any uniformity. A fate worse than Black America being Black. And IT IS coming. You and Troy are totally right. Black America is going to be defeated by the same means that "Smarter Races" always BREED OUT and defeat Blacks. Look at the MOORS and note how WHITE the nation of SPAIN is today--there is nothing left of the Moors and SPAIN is easily one of Europe's most racist nations, rivaled only by Portugal. Look at North Africa where Kola is from and keeps trying to warn you of your people's annihilation--because she knows first hand how its carried out. It's not that Kola Boof believes she can SAVE Black America. What Kola Boof wants...is to go down in history as one of the few Blacks who fought against the process. She would rather be remembered as Queen Nzingah or Nat Turner...and not the slave-selling Kings of Dahomey. That is where Kola stands. -- | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14520 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Good for you, Kola. You are entitled to think of yourself as elite. But you're not. You're just another person who believes she is better than what somebody else is - because you have no other choice than to feel this way in order to maintain your self esteem. You can't change what you are so you have to convince yourself that everybody else's color is flawed and yours is perfect. You are all about compensating, desperately attempting to ennoble yourself, thinking you will make history in a world that doesn't give a damn about preserving your paltry legacy. You dreams are built on resentment, and are dependent on your slanted view of a world that doesn't regard you as special. And just remember the same people whose color you disparage, feel the same way about you. You may think black is beautiful but they don't. Who is to say who is right???? It's all subjective. Gold is the standard baby. It is malleable and enduring and valuable and it will radiate throughout the world and prevail - just like the sun. See, - I can fantasize about the future - just like you. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2090 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Nafisa_goma I read your posts. Maybe I mis-understood you. You are right however, I do disagree completely with the activity surrounding the goals described by the following quote: "people/families like Kola Boof's family will exist and will become more robust in their determination to stay black" I may want to keep Brown/Black people, but I would not presume to impose my wishes on my children, their children or their children's children. The world is changing. Few people in America live in isolation from other "racial groups". Preventing people from different groups from mixing is backward thinking. Further, Black women who would go with a man because they refuse to consider someone from another race is silly. This is just as silly as the old laws against mixed marriages. But not nearly as silly as the people who think imposing this idea on others. --------------- Cynique NPR JUST did a broadcast on the nationwide decrease in crime. | ||
| Kola_boof AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Kola_boof Post Number: 5023 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: |
Troy, I'm a stickler for "Accuracy" when it's "ME" being discussed, so allow me to be specific in replying to what YOU wrote. KOLA: I don't raise my children telling them that they CANNOT mix, date, etc. with OTHER races. What I do...(along with their father)...is raise my children the same way WHITE PEOPLE and other "ORTHODOX PEOPLE" raise children ---I raise them that THEY are the absolute best representation of Human Kind and that "Cultural Blackness" W/O "Physical Blackness" is a Fraud. FROM BIRTH...my boys were taught that WE value/love nothing more on this earth than Indigenous Africa and all things African. That doesn't mean that we have anything against Chinese, Europeans, whoever--what it means is that we are ALREADY "US" and that is the highest that anyone can achieve. My sons are not allowed to watch television. My sons do not believe that Vin Diesel and Alicia Keys are "Black" people--though they are FANS of both. My sons, now 11 and 9 (about to be 10), have an AFFINITY for "chocolate" skin and they do not know why. They just do. If you show my sons "photos" of beautiful people--they will compliment all races of people for their beauty, but they will conclude that the "darkest" people just naturally "EDGE OUT" everyone else by virtue of being OUR IMAGE. My sons are not racist, hateful, prejudice against any race of fellow human beings. They have love and respect for all mankind. What my sons don't have---is the MENTALITY that "erasing" their blackness or campaigning for solidarity with NON-Blacks is an IMPROVEMENT, Advancement or PROGRESS. Like me & their father, my boys see it the opposite. We're not "niggers." But we fully recognize that the majority ARE. AND WE ARE NOT ALONE. There is a growing number of Non-Racist BLACK FAMILIES--including Light Skinned Blacks!!---who are seeking out others who think/feel the same way that they do. Perhaps once NEW YORK is hit as hard as California, you will begin to see a similar response there. OUT HERE---the "Immigrant Africans" (Ethiopian, Senegalese, Ghanian majority) are especially building an "Underground" resistance. Black Americans, including Lightskinned Folks, have joined with us. We don't HATE any human being---but we deserve to EXIST "As Ourselves." There is a huge difference between CO-Existing and becoming EXCTINCT. --- **NAFISA thanks for posting my thoughts and my adverts. for "NATF" | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14521 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
OK, Troy, below is an excerpt from The FBI's report in regard to crime being down. "The rate of decrease is contingent upon the population of a city or rural area, and there were certain segments of the population that showed slight increases. Cities where populations were less than 10,000 saw an increase of 5.5% of both murder and non-negligent manslaughter; these populations also saw a 1.4% increase in forcible rapes. The regions that showed an increase in murders included the Northeast and the Midwest with a rate of 0.7% and 0.4%. Though forcible rape decreased 7.3% in non-metropolitan areas, there was a 0.6% increase in metropolitan regions. The Northeast showed an increase in forcible rape and robbery at 2.5% and 0.3%. Robberies increased slightly in both metropolitan and non-metropolitan counties that had populations less than 25,000. The increase was 0.7% and 0.6%. Of all the crimes reported, burglary was the only one to show an increase at 1.3%. Property crimes increased 0.2% in metropolitan counties. Burglaries increased 3.3% in cities with populations ranging from 500,000-999,999; this was true in both metropolitan and non-metropolitan counties with an increase of 2.1% and1.0%. Larceny theft increased 0.5% in cities that had populations over 1,000,000. In contrast to the 1.6% increase of property crimes in the Northeast, the West saw the greatest decrease with 4.2%." I don't want to belabor the point, but obviously the claims about crime being down require close scrutiny and analysis. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3785 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Kola: *waves* Cynique, Troy: I attended a conference session recently where the presenter noted that in the US violent crime by youth is down, though perception of youth committing crime--and the incarceration (including in adult prisons) of youth--is up. This researcher is collecting data on both ethnicity and race, and is finding that the combination of being male, Black and Spanish-speaking Hispanic increases the likelihood of incarceration and longer prison terms. Another statistic I heard is that although some crimes might be down, they are more likely to result in fatalities because of the prevalence of fire arms. You are right, Cynique, about the complexity of crime statistics. In another session, the presenter overlaid a city map of neighborhoods where murders had been committed with a map of neighborhoods where there were high numbers of foreclosed and abandonned homes. The match was stunning and frightening. I suspect that there are some neighborhoods that are being made safer by "containing" crimes in other areas. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14524 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I might add that when I was tracking down data about this subject, I came across a report by white supremist David Duke who very cleverly used statistics and percentages and rates to prove that black people committ a much higher number of crimes than whites and that when ever blacks move into a neighborhood the crime rate goes up. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3812 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"You are right, Cynique, about the complexity of crime statistics. In another session, the presenter overlaid a city map of neighborhoods where murders had been committed with a map of neighborhoods where there were high numbers of foreclosed and abandonned homes. The match was stunning and frightening. I suspect that there are some neighborhoods that are being made safer by "containing" crimes in other areas." Agree. I'm not exactly on board with this crime is down thing. I really don't see it. And to Cynique's position, I saw and read a report about the staggering black on black violence in Chicago that was related to that non-gang connected teenager who was brutally murdered (documented on a cell camera) last year. Perhaps I should do more research in this particular area to formulate a compelling argument. But as it stands, I've heard this decrease in crime blather before. As I said, I'm not that sure about it but I will look into it. Hopefully, I'm wrong, but.... | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 2094 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
NTFS, Cynique, care to bring the crime down controversy to the new discussion board. btw, I feel for you folks in areas where crime is up. I saw crime increase here in Harlem from the starting in the 60's. back in the 70's it seemed MOST women in my building were mugged. Mugging became so common place it was considered normal. We (my mom and sister) were mugged a couple of time and gun and knife point). Most of my friend had at least 1 car stolen. Everyone's car was broken into... You used to always hear about someone you knew being murdered. Over the last 2 decades crime is down so much it is like living on a different planet. I've left my car windows down and no one touched a thing. Murders are down at least 80 from their peak. ---------------- If you re-post you last comments I'll report this :-) |
