| Author | Message | ||
     Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2225 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
Has anyone seen it yet? | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2292 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Well, Ms. Delicous Chocolate Brown Beauty, I read many reviews, and I am on the fence about seeing it. Tell me, have you? If so, what did you think? Some didn't see the humor in blasting our hair. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2226 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
Nope. I don't want to see it. Many of the black women on the haircare boards who have seen it are enraged about it. Rock made comments that dating a white woman would be much cheaper than a black woman, because the white woman wears her real hair. I don't think that's funny at all. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2293 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yeah, I understand your feelings. My daughter works for the Regis Corporation. Although she no longer does hair (for them) her visits to salons throughout several states, puts her in the company of many women that spoke of similar concerns. I like Chris Rock, and I've never dated a white woman, so I might check it out for the laughs :- ). Please don't tell my daughter. she can't stand Chris Rock *lol* | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3694 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: |
"Rock made comments that dating a white woman would be much cheaper than a black woman, because the white woman wears her real hair." Well, it's true....... | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2294 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Dang Ntfs, I wanted to say that but I didn't have the balls. I mean, why would that offend a women? I saw it as a joke but maybe someone could explain to me why they didn't think it was funny. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3679 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
I do not get the joke. Is he implying that men who date Black women are footing the bill for their hair? | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3695 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"I mean, why would that offend a women?" I have no idea. Like I said, it is true. But as you know, even the truth, though unintentional in its exposure, can be hurtful and offensive to some..... "I saw it as a joke but maybe someone could explain to me why they didn't think it was funny." So did I. But as you know, the subject of black women's hair is the max points for ultra-sensitivity. When you walk down that path, you are heading straight into the hornets nest! We all know this even though it is politically incorrect to say so. But it is what it is....... | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2295 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Well Yvettep, since is was intended as a joke, I doubt he meant to go that deep. Sure, that's what he was implying (that men foot the bill)but we know that's not always true. If we wanted to go deeper, white women's hair care can be very costly. They too wear weaves, and the nature of their hair requires a different "stitching" process. They also wear braids, which can be very costly. "the subject of black women's hair is the max points for ultra-sensitivity" Yep! "even though it is politically incorrect to say so" Yep yep. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14185 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Is that an accurate quote attributed to Chris???? When he was on Oprah discussing this subject, he ridiculed how beauticians had a layaway plan for black women who couldn't afford to pay a lump sum for expensive weaves but I don't remember him making this other remark. He marvelled at how a woman making $30,000 a year as a customer service rep for a utility company would spend her money flying across country 3 or 4 times a year to NY, where the best weavers are located, just to have a weave that cost over a $1000 to put in. That's not funny; that's foolish. Excerpts from the movie also shown on Oprah's featured men being interviewed by Chris in a barbershop, saying they didn't dare run their fingers through their partners' hair during sexual foreplay because black women didn't want anybody dislodging the tracks of their expensive hair pieces. In his routines Chris regularly exaggerates the truth for the sake of a laugh and when he does, the sheer absurdity of what he says does draw a laugh. I'd agree, however, that the statement in question is not funny because it is too much of a stretch. Anytime you have to analyse why something is supposed to be funny, - it misses the mark. In his Sun-Times review of "Good Hair", famed critic Roger Ebert, who implied that he was relying on feed-back from his black wife, complained that there were quite a few inaccuracies in the movie, - scenarios injected just for laughs. One was how lye is used in perm solutions when, although this was once true, it no longer is. He further chided Chris for glossing over how many white women also get hair extensions and that most of them color their hair. "Vanity, thy name is woman"! | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2296 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ut oh, I have to agree with Cynique, it's called vanity. Come on "we" all know that "some" black women will get their hair done at the expense of many other more important matters. Roger Ebert may not know, but we know. I really do not believe the statement in question is a too far from reality. I think it goes back to the statement by Ntsf ..."the subject of black women's hair is the max points for ultra-sensitivity" Granted, I do not believe all black men know all the costs associated with maintaining the hair of "some" black women, but they know how many times "some" woman go to the beauty parlor. "Excerpts from the movie also shown on Oprah's featured men being interviewed by Chris in a barbershop, saying they didn't dare run their fingers through their partners' hair during sexual foreplay because black women didn't want anybody dislodging the tracks of their expensive hair pieces" Yep, been there. Some things will never die. Oops, unfortunately, some hair textures still rely on lye. Yep, it still can be purchased in some relaxers/perm solutions. Well, if the hair is not "Good Hair" ya can't fake the funk. Sorry, I had to get that in there. I know I know, dant funny Mcgee. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3680 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
complained that there were quite a few inaccuracies in the movie, - scenarios injected just for laughs I thought this was being billed as a "documentary." Is it, or is it a comedy movie? As for Rock, he often takes a big swing at the plate. When he hits, he hits big. But too often he misses big. I have never found him "deep"--that is not what I was looking for. I simply was not aware of many Black men paying for the hair care of their dates, nor of White female hair care being a bargain. I have read a couple reviews. Sounds like something I will catch on HBO or something. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1967 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yvettep, seems to me that Michael Moore started this whole docu-tainment business. Regardless of how Rock's film is billed I would not take this movie as a serious analysis of Black Hair. In Lagos Nigeria (I believe the largest city, in the largest Black country on the Planet) 95% of the women I've seen don fake hair -- some of it alarmingly so. If it is not fake it is straightened. I've been here a week and I can count on one hand the number of natural hair styles I've seen on women here. Is it vanity or self hatred? In a coiuntry where the poverty and differences in class are so strikingly stark it is even more amazing that money would be spent by the masses on fake hair. Someone suggested that buying the weave was cheaping than maintaining a perm... In any case, I wish Black women did not feel it necessary to dye, perm or otherwise so dramatically alter their natural hair to feel more attractive. Until then, the concept of a beautiful Black women will be permanently linked with long straight hair. | ||
| Cagedbird Veteran Poster Username: Cagedbird Post Number: 205 Registered: 02-2004 Rating: N/A |
Troy, what is the temp. there???? I, personally don't get it! I have been 2 the islands several times & am getting ready 2 go again in a few weeks and I can't figure out how the women can stand hair on their heads! iIt is sooooo hot in dem islands, I would almost have 2 be bald to live there! And, like Carey says, "It would be NO shame in MY game!!!!  | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3681 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Yvettep, seems to me that Michael Moore started this whole docu-tainment business. Regardless of how Rock's film is billed I would not take this movie as a serious analysis of Black Hair. Agreed. Sounds like the right way to take the film. I had heard the idea for the film came from some concerns his little daughters expressed about their own hair. (Yeah, yeah...I know about the lawsuit...) As such, I hope that the movie--and his jokes--come from a place of love and concern. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1969 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cagedbird. I've been in an air conditioned cafe all day (4:15PM here) trying to catch up on things. It was been raining or overcast all day. It feels like it is about 80 -- but you can check the temp here on-line. The people here are accustomed to the heat. So I doubt the ladies here suffer as much as an American above the mason-dixon might. In fact, most men wear long pants you if you see a man with shorts on here it is probably a white man or a child. Business men wear suits. The business enviroment is more more formal than it is in the States. I'm not fond of wearing a suit everyday in any weather, but folks here seemed to be accustomed to it. Yvettep, I'd imagine most men with daughters go though the same issue as Rock. I think all little girls are very cute with their pony/pig tails, cornrolls, twists and puffs, but it seems by puberty girls have to do the perm/extension thing. Some parents start their children on perms even earlier. I think Chris' movie comes from a place of money -- don't get it "twisted"! | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14186 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
What Chris put out is a called a "mocumentary" in the business. I wonder if his affluent, pampered daughter even asked why she didn't have "good" hair. And I question as to whether the Indian women who sell their hair were as clueless as Chris would have you believe when it came to where the hair for weaves comes from. Chris is just doin what he does; poking fun at life's little ironies, and making a movie about black hair was his choice of venue for doing so. Long, luxurious hair that coils around the face is the epitome of glamour. Long straight hair that hangs below the shoulders is exotic amd mysterious. A woman's hair is a weapon in her arsenal for attracting men.  | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3696 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
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| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2297 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
No you didn't *lol*. Check out that white dude. He's way in the back. Apparently this sort of behavior is nothing to the black folks, they could care less, but that white stud is like ....WTF? Checkout that husband-beater T-shirt.... "Hergettoness". Lord have mercy,she even put her first babies daddy on the front page. A close inspection of her left nipple will uncover the rest of the story. Say it loud, am black and I am..... | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3698 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
Correct me if I'm wrong....Now, I'm all for unique creativity, but is that a spindle (e.g., for wire) on top of her head......??? | ||
| Nels AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 1297 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
No mo' kinky poo. Ahhhhh. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2298 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yes sir, dat der appears to be a # 10 wire spool. I wonder what it costs to maintain that hair style? | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 8220 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: |
Negroes go through this hair thang for the same reason that they use skin lighteners and get nose and lip jobs. They hate their own personal selves and they wish they were white. Black women suffer from a horrible psychosis knowing that in this society they can never be the Queen of Love and Beauty because she is Marilyn Monroe. It is ugly, but the Truth is. It is why Black men wore processes/conks and jheri curls. They would do it again if that was "the style". There has been lots of outrage about this movie, lots from people who have never seen it. Embarassment is what it is. I am too old now to think I will see it change. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2227 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
""Rock made comments that dating a white woman would be much cheaper than a black woman, because the white woman wears her real hair." Well, it's true......." It's really not true. White women spend money on botox, bleaching their hair, clothes, etc. I was just listening to these white women talk about how they refinance their homes for botox treatments behind their husband's back. This stuff never gets polarized at all. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2228 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"Dang Ntfs, I wanted to say that but I didn't have the balls. I mean, why would that offend a women? I saw it as a joke but maybe someone could explain to me why they didn't think it was funny." It's offensive and not funny because people actually believe this to be true. Really, as black women what are we supposed to do? Black men like women with long and sily hair, and the ONLY way for a lot of us to get it, is to wear weaves/wigs/extenstions but when we do that, you complain and say you don't like it. And if we were to go natural..you'd complain about that too | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14191 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I question Chrishayden's statement that black women spend their money on getting their noses and lips fixed. People keep uttering that old cliche about "self hate". Black women don't really hate themselves. They think they are fione, and fussin over their hair is just someting all women do. Black women aren't preoccupied with wearing a size 6 or getting breast implants, but flaunt their thickness and although some may use bleach, it's simply to even out their skin tone. If this lightens them up a bit, well, so what? They love expensive clothes and shoes and jewelry and are so confident that they don't even dress for men; they dress to impress each other. Black women don't think anything is wrong with themselves; they blame black men for not appreciating how great they are. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2299 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
"It's offensive and not funny because people actually believe this to be true" I see your point, Chocolate Brown. However, in looking at your reasoning, isn't it sort of like looking through the eyes of another person. I've learned not to care what some fools believe, I can't think for them. If I worried about what others thought were true, or was not true, I'd be a mess. That would be like trying to please any and everyone at the expense of my own convictions and beliefs. To some degree, that's where this conversation has drifted. I've come to believe that a person's desire to wear their in a certain style, is an individual choice. That choice, and the reason behind it, is multilayered. Some are rooted in a desire to attract a certain type of man. Other individuals defer the cost to an easier way to maintain their hair. For some mothers, they remember some of the pain getting their hair combed in the morning. Just this morning, I had 2 children in my company. One child had a "rap". The other one had an old school style. Well, they both had to be "taken down" but one took a little more time, and a little more discomfort. I once loved my Jehri curl ($40-$60 = 3 months). All I had to do was shake it and go. Now I have to pay about $17-$20 dollars a week. In short, I don't think it has much to do with the white man, or the opinion that black woman do not love themselves. Our culture is forever evolving and therefore, for many young ladies, today is their culture. Chocolate Brown, you made some very good points concerning white woman and their attempts to be just like us! Case in point, only a fool would say white woman want to be a black person when they pay all that money to get a tan or larger lips. I'd have to ask "that" person why they desired those changes. Speaking for them would be an act of futility. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2300 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ut oh, again I am agreeing with Cynique. We were posting at the same time. I agree, I don't believe it has much to do with self-hate. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10417 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
My wife, daughter and I saw Good Hair. We all enjoyed it. It was funny (the audience laugh almost from beginning until the ending credits) and it provoked amongst us some interesting discussion about beauty, self-image, economics and, interestingly, RELIGION. I think most of the hubbub about the film is Much Ado About NOTHING. Because I came away from seeing the movie feeling as though the overall viewpoint of Rock's film was less critical of Black women and more EMPATHETIC of them. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2304 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
I am not worthy. ABM brought it home. His wife .....his daughter and him, laughed. "It was funny (the audience laugh almost from beginning until the ending credits) and it provoked amongst us some interesting discussion about beauty, self-image, economics and, interestingly, RELIGION" Can't argue against that! | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1978 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
ABM, pray tell, how were religious issues brought into the mix? (side note: It is really clever how Google is able to serve up hair ads on this conversation there are 3 ad units on this page and they all have to do with hair) | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10419 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Troy, Well, and this is SPOILER of the film that those who intend to see it might NOT want to observe here, much of the hair African American women buy has been shorn from the heads of Indian women who have tendered their hair as a form SACRIFICE to their GOD(s). Good Hair showed hundreds of BALD Indian women circulating about and in religious temples. The film even showed these Indian women getting their hair cut. And, apparently, very FEW - if ANY - of those devout Indian women KNOW that their hair is being packaged and then shipped halfway around the world to be sold to and worn by other women for SELF-embellishment and SELF-glorification, which, I'm sure we would agreee is entirely ANTITHETICAL to why the Indian women sacrificed their hair to begin with. So my family and I couldn't help but wonder what the weave-wearing sistas in our African American CHURCHES think about that... | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10420 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Carey, There was a lot of laughter. But I didn't get the sense that most or any of it was inspite of sistas who wear perm and weave. It was mostly just us all sorta laughing at ourselves. And I say OURSELVES because the issues posed in Rock's film do NOT reflect simply where Black women are coming from. They very MUCH reflect what we BROTHAS are thinking and feeling too. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1979 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
ABM all that means is the hair; (1) really is "Good", and (2) it sells for a lot less than if the indian women were actually compensated financially for their epidermal outgrowth. I really don't think the Churches here actually give a darn. Maybe if they were Christian women... Hummm, I wonder where the hair from those Buddists and Hari Khrishnas go? Sounds like a business opportunity! | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10421 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
I would like to challenge Rock and other Black men who believe it is cheaper to date White women to provide some real ACCOUNTING that would prove such. Because I suspect if fair and complete tabs of their dating expenses were talled and juxtaposed, they might discover that what they saved in hair expenses were spent in OTHER areas that sistas are less inclined to require. And I certainly would argue that, over the long run, being MARRIED to your average White woman is very likely MORE expensive than being MARRIED to your average Black woman. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10422 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Troy, I doubt most Black Christians care either, though the truth does poses so interesting ethical and moral questions and dilemnas. If you're referring to the Buddist and Hari Khrisnas here in the U.S. perhaps goes into the same pool of retail hair stock as that from foreign women. Although, perhaps, it is tossed because it likely would be much more expensive to treat and prep it here than it would be in India. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14196 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Indian people are well aware of how they can make money selling their kidneys for transplants and they are doing so in substantial numbers, turning this into a thriving industry in the Western world. Too bad Africans can't import their hair for the purpose of making dread lock extensions, but synthetic hair is used for this purpose. Fittingly so, since dread locks are just as much an artificial affectation as straight hair is - unless you are a Rasta. We live in an age of superficiality and nothing tangible is what it seems. Hooked up to our cell phones, attached to our Ipods and blackberries, harnessed to our PCS, texting and twittering and keying away, our civilization has become surreal. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2229 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: |
[quote]I see your point, Chocolate Brown. However, in looking at your reasoning, isn't it sort of like looking through the eyes of another person. I've learned not to care what some fools believe, I can't think for them. If I worried about what others thought were true, or was not true, I'd be a mess. That would be like trying to please any and everyone at the expense of my own convictions and beliefs. [/quote] Carey, in a perfect world we wouldn't care about what others think. But what others think and say, often can matter and affect you as a person a lot. Not just that, but you get treated differently when you wear your hair a particular way. I frequent haircare forums because I am a weave wearer, and am very educated about my own hair as well. And many black women who have decided to go natural, will tell you that black men won't even look their way, and when they do, they even say negative things about the natural state of their hair. I've experienced this personally; from wearing straight hair, to wearing my hair very coarse, it's a MAJOR difference in how I am treated. You would be surprised. You wear a silky long weave and you have doors opening for you left and right, men looking at you, enthralled by the texture and length of the hair--next day, try to go natural with an afro/locks and you are almost invisible. Even women, treat you differently as well. So personally, I straighten my hair, and wear weaves to lengthen it as a way to adapt and to get acceptance, and to have more success in dating. Where I'm from, a lot of the black men are not for the natural look at all. | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1980 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
BB I appreciate your candor. The reality you describe is unfortunate. Seems men are trying really hard to put themselves in the same situation as women with the twists, locks, dreads, and braids... I live in NYC; there are plenty of women walking around natural hair stlyes and with haircuts so close they may as well be bald. On some women the look is quiet sexy. Maybe the trend will catch on where you live. I have to admit when I see a Black woman with long, luxurious, straight hair (fake or real) that I take a second look. But that is just looking there are many feminine characterists that would draw a double take. It does not mean anything. When dating you could use your natural hair as a dumb negro filter. Only the dumb negros would not consider talking to you based upon the length of your hair. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2231 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"When dating you could use your natural hair as a dumb negro filter. Only the dumb negros would not consider talking to you based upon the length of your hair." Troy, I do not plan on going back to natural. My life is so much easier socially with relaxed-like hair. I am going to stick to the relaxed look. If I lived in a world that accepted me as who I am in my most natural state, then I would wear afros, and kinky twists all day long. But I don't. It's too much of a struggle, and it makes my life so much easier when it comes to dating men--both black and white. I don't know where the myth comes from that white men like black women with very natural hair, they too, are more intrigued when they see a black woman with no so stereotypically kinky textured hair. I've worn Indian Remi hair and noticed i get a bit more looks from men of other races. Women can be just as judgemental and non accepting of other black women who go natural, especially if you have very coarse textured hair. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2315 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: |
I hear you, Ms. Brown. The link below is a picture of my lady. I met her while she was wearing her natural hair (relaxed). It is a personal choice. A person has to be comfortable in whatever hair style they choose to wear. In that picture, she has on a piece mixed in with her own hair. She like wearing pieces. They are easier to maintain. After a couple of weeks, she throws them away. http://careycarey-carrymehome.blogspot.com/2009/08/sometimes-i-need-love-sometim es-my.html | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14202 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
At least women who have hair extensions get a bang for their buck. (pun intended) I hear those penis extension products don't work.  When it comes to enhancing their appearances, black women do have some advantages over their men. They can wear make-up, wigs, hair extensions, padded bras, body shapers, false eyelashes, and if all that doesn't work, - voila! A Brazilian wax.  When a black man steps into the social arena, what you see is what you get. He has to rely on his "game" to get over. Of course black playas do benefit from the supply-and-demand principle. Black women "settle" because there ain't enough good men to go around.  Now, - I shall return to my mountain top and resume meditating about the foibles of life.  | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 10423 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
BB123, I have observed women who have PERMED hair complaining about not being able to attract the attention of the men they want. I have observed women who have WEAVED hair complaining about not being able to attract the attention of the men they want. I have observed women who have NATURAL hair complaining about not being able to attract the attention of the men they want. And although these women vary by geography, age, class and even RACE, there is one constant amongst all of these women: Their complaining about not being able to attract the attention of the men they want . | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2316 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ut oh! Tell us ABM, what exactly are you saying? *giggle* | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14204 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Certainly doesn't apply to BrownBeauty because, according to her, perming her hair and wearing weaves is attracting the attention of the men she wants - because that's what the men she wants, want... I'm inclinded to believe that a nice personality and a sexy body trump a hair style when it comes to what a black man wants in a woman. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2318 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: |
I am inclined to believe a nice personality is THE trump card. Old School: The name of the game is cop and hold, not cop and blow. Translation: You can catch a man with all kinds of flash and dash (banging body too) but, to hold one you have to bring a little substance. Case in point, when the hair comes off and the belly size matches that of the butt, then what? Like Cynique said, men come in the raw. They might spit a little game but, basically their appearance is not altered. I think so many woman make the mistake of thinking they can hold a man by their looks - NOT! They may be able to get dates and a part-time lover, but when the thrill is gone, and the eyelashes are on the table, and the hair is on the nightstand, and the size 8 turns into a size 18, and the music in the club is no longer playing, there better be something left to work with, or it could be crying time again. Translation: Come as you are. "Hello world, this is me, take it or leave it alone". No tricks and no treats. THEN, er'body knows what they are working with. Also, many many many men, could care less about a woman's size. I think ABM hit on something. Maybe....just maybe..... woman find themselves playing on the wrong playing field. Translation: maybe they'll never find the man "they" are looking for. That's a little deeper thought than I think many wish to consider. Of course this might mean a few dry times or lonely nights, but the rewards do not come to the swiftest. But when the ship comes in ....it's docked to stay. Nope, not cop and blow, it's cop and hold on .....tight. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14208 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
This works both ways; if men don't have compelling pillow talk they can also be kicked to the curb, good looks or not.  Some might say "it aint the beauty, it's the booty" - and that it's not the interesting conversation that comes out of a woman's mouth but the passionate expression she lets come in her mouth. Trump card or not, a BJ is the ace in the hole...  | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3699 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: |
”Really, as black women what are we supposed to do? Black men like women with long and sily hair, and the ONLY way for a lot of us to get it, is to wear weaves/wigs/extenstions but when we do that, you complain and say you don't like it. Well, that’s an honest confession. Unfortunately, many black women have to come to the realization that they do not have the hair genes that non-black women do. Attempting to hind behind fake weaves and wigs only serves to make it even more obvious. I see black women everyday with some of the most horrid cheap looking fake braids (they look like clothing line ropes tied in their heads) or some ridiculous looking wig that looks more like a costume piece rather than a hair replacement or enhancement. Many seem totally oblivious (or indifferent) to the embarrassing (at least it would seem to be…) gaudy weaves and wigs they are wearing. It’s very sad. I don’t know any other way to say it. For example, I was at the NEX yesterday. As I was going down the escalator, a black woman was going up. She had a huge wig on her head that appeared to weigh 5 or 6 pounds! It was a totally unnatural jet black, it was sticking up in a vertical poofy manner (about 7 to 8 inches) and was flowing down both sides (left and right) to the front and down the back. She was wearing the traditional Shaqwanda Tay Tay Jackson hoop ear rings and those fabulous five inch archaic nails. And yes, she was chewing gum and rolling her eyes! Perfect poster child for the “Queen Chicken Head ” of the year contest. Sorry, but I had to say it… But the only question that kept repeating itself in a loop in my head was; “What is this woman thinking? Does she actually believe that other people believe that is her hair? Doe she have anyone in her life who cares enough about her to not let her leave the house like that?” And most of –“WHY???” Personally, I’m not into the fake hair thing. Can’t deal with it. I would rather a black woman cut her hair completely down and sport a small natural vice going the weave/wig route. Most the weaves/wigs black women wear (that I see), are clearly and quite obviously fake and unconvincing. I feel it cheapens a black women’s natural aesthetics. And yes, I know some of you may have an extreme visceral reaction to such commentary, but it is my personal opinion and preference –not a enacted legislation or a mandated law (ban on weaves/wigs). Yes, I’ve heard all the rationalizations, justifications, reasons and excuses for the disturbingly entrenched black weave/wig culture. None of it passes the sniff test. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Once again –it’s my personal preference and it has absolutely no impact whatsoever on anyone’s life (e.g., any black woman who sports or defends weaves/wigs.I must say this, when I see a black woman with dreads (yeah, I know many of you hate ‘em but I love ‘em), natty hair styles, fros or even a nice perm –I always make it a point to walk up to them and complement their hair style. I let them know I appreciate seeing a black woman with her natural hair and I think it looks beautiful. I ALWAYS DO THIS! I want them to know there are men who appreciate black women taking the time and effort to wear their natural hair in a choice style. When I do so, the women immediately beam and thank me for noticing and complementing them. They really appreciate a black man noticing their hair and complementing them for it. I encourage more brothers to do the same. Black women need to hear this. And if we were to go natural. you’d complain about that too.” That’s not true. I never complain about a woman wearing her hair natural. I only request that they take time to prepare and configure it in an appropriate manner. An appropriate manner demonstrates the woman as taken time to style and fix her hair. Walking out the house with a haphazard-hot combed-Buckwheat-sticking up like a mad chicken does not count! Yes, I do like long bouncy straight hair. I see Latina and Filipina women with very thick, straight, long black hair every day. I absolutely love it! I see white women with long blonde (red and brunette) hair down their backs that is hot and very feminine. And I also love the sista gurls with their long dreads (who I can’t resist complementing –sorry, again, I know y’all hate ‘em), fro’s and natty natural hair styles.I don’t care how you choose to wear it –as long as it is your own natural God given genetic hair! Once again, I can’t get into the phony weaves and wigs. It denigrates black women’s natural and unique aesthetics (IMO). And yes, I am very aware of the extreme pressure black women are under because of their hair. I know they are often criticized and ridiculed because of it. Comparisons to non-black women’s hair seems to be a constant source of consternation for many. So naturally, black women are hyper sensitive and extremely defensive about comments they deem to be critical or non-flattering about their hair. If you are black –you know this is true! Also, black women have a zero-tolerance policy towards scrutiny, critical discussion and questions about their hair (enter Chris Rock!). I understand the sensitivity but I’m not going to be politically correct by soft peddling or tap dancing around the harsh reality of this topic. In the past, I’ve often inadvertently made a passing comment about a woman’s (non-black) hair that was long, thick, bouncy and naturally straight. I watched the expression on their faces (black women) instantaneously change. The innocuous comment was taken personally and later, I had to face a phalanx of accusations of preferring “white women” or “being color struck” (which is totally false). Now, I no longer make such comments around black women for fear of offending their sensitivities. Case in point. I have a very dear black female friend I grew up with. We went to the same high school, graduated together, I used to go over her house all the time as kids and for a number of years, she worked with my mother at the same hospital (she is nurse). To this very day, I still see her every time I go back to Ohio. Her husband and I also grew up together. I met him when I was in the 6th grade. We also went to the same highs school, played football and graduated together. He as a very dark complexioned brother and when we were kids, the black kids started calling him Smokey and razed him because of his dark complexion. Girls would openly reject and laugh at him because of his complexion. And what made is extra bad, black kids would do this in front of the “white kids and teachers”. Soon, they too, joined in ridiculing his skin color. I hated this pathetic intra-racist coonish behavior. I never thought it was funny and the nick name, “Smokey”, stuck with him for the rest of his life. His real name was Aaron and that is what I called him. I never, ever, called him that racist bullshit name. Sadly, everyone who did knew him would call him Smokey because many actually thought that was his real name. There is a point to this, so hold on…. When I was young, I had just came back from a deployment overseas and I was telling my black female friend about the countries I had been to. I told her when I was in the Philippines, I had gone to Manila and Baggio City. Many of the women were very pretty, had nice shapely bodies and they all had beautiful long thick hair down their backs (that’s just how they wear it). I told her this in passing. She just looked at me and laughed. Well, as I said, at that time, she worked with my mother at the same hospital. One day my mother said, “Lavonne told me what you said. She told me how color struck you are”. Huh???? What are you talking about? My mom said, “Yeah, she told me how you lust over yellow women and long hair”. Naturally, I tried to defend myself by attempting to correct this inaccurate perception. My mom just laughed and waved me off. She believed her. This happened when I was about 23 years old. To this very day –she still believes I’m obsessed with long straight hair and light complexioned women because of comments I made about the Philippines a millennium ago. We have know each other most of our entire lives and she has never (not even once!) heard me make a comment about anyone’s skin complexion or use simple minded terms to describe black women as “light skinned”, pretty color(?) (yes –I’ve heard that term used numerous times –so have you!) and “red bone”. And she knew how passionately I felt about people calling her husband Smokey and the jokes about his dark complexion. But it doesn’t matter. I made those flattering remarks about those Filipino women and that was enough to brand me for life even though there is not one shred of evidence in my personal history to suggest that I reject black women because of their skin color and hair (according to her). One more thing. I met a young black woman at a gym where I frequently go to work out. She had a very interesting natural hair style. I’m sure many of you have seen it. Anyway, I approached her to complement her unusual natural hair style. It was an African hair style and she told me the name of it (which I can’t recall). She thanked me and we began discussing hair styles. She began a very passionate discussion about black women’s failure to respect and appreciate their natural genetic hair. She told me black women were brain washed, lazy ( disdain for natural hair maintenance) and have opted for weaves/wigs which makes them look ridiculous and gaudy (her words –not mine). She also felt this (weaves/wigs) was the ugly ultimate pinnacle of black women’s self hatred of their hair and their collective rejection of what God gave them. She told me she aggressively advocates black natural hair styles at every opportunity and believes the true essence of black women’s beauty lies within the celebration of their natural hair. It was very interesting conversation I had with her. I was very impressed to see such a young woman (early twenties) with such fierce pride in her hair and her blackness. I have seen her a number of times since and each time she is sporting a different natural hair style. Unfortunately, there are not enough black women who share this young woman’s pro-black aesthetic philosophy and willingness to deal with their natural hair vice submitting it to a unnatural state. But I must say this also, personally, even though I love the natural hair styles, I do not have issues with a black woman perming her hair as long as it looks professional and well kept. Why? Because although it has been altered –it’s still her real hair! Just my opinion……  | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14232 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Your observations about black hair are typically those of a man, NTFS. Men tend to judge the fashions of black hair by the worst examples, unaware that the styles they accept and admire could simply be artificial illusions that have been accomplished with subtleness and taste. A good wig that conveniently replicates a woman's original hair style will not command your disapproval because you will not know it's a wig. And all weaves are not flamboyant or bouffant. Many simply add length or body to one's own hair and what you think is a perm can be a weave. Furthermore, a black woman's "natural" hair style is a preference that can require as much tweaking as any other coif. It entails grooming, conditioning, shaping, coloring, and whatever it takes to produce the wild or crinkly appearance that characterizes some "natural" hair styles Women have to function in a competitive world where appearance matters, and they are going to do whatever they have to do. Like the make-up which improves the appearance of their faces, hair is also cosmetic. Luxurious locks exude glamour and flair and women of all races rely on extensions to give them this added attraction. Neglected creatures that they are, black women want to be noticed. How much attention they crave depends upon the individual, but they are all clever enough to know that their real power lies in what a man doesn't see. Their superficial adornments are about pleasing themselves. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2349 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, as much as I hate to say it, that was a very good observation. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 3704 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: |
”Your observations about black hair are typically those of a man, NTFS.” True…. ”Men tend to judge the fashions of black hair by the worst examples, unaware that the styles they accept and admire could simply be artificial illusions that have been accomplished with subtleness and taste. A good wig………..” Understood. Unfortunately, the worst is what I see every single day. If there was some parity, perhaps I wouldn’t sound as harsh. But as I stated in my post -I’m just a natural hair kinda guy. I just can’t get with the fake hair thing. I have a black female friend who would bristle at my opinions and attempt to lecture me about the right black women have to wear wigs/weaves (which having the right to do so has never been an issue) about this highly sensitive subject (because she wore the fake wannabe braids) until about two weeks ago. She called me and told me of a black woman who had the most horrific looking fake wig on her head. As I recall, I believe she said it had “orange” in it (WTF??). She went on and on about it and she told me she could not believe a woman would walk out the house looking like that. She described it in great detail and from what she described, it was just that –horrible. She said, “I can’t understand how a black woman can walk in public with such an ugly clownish looking wig.” I just laughed. As you have stated, hair is a very competitive and highly charged issue with black women (just ask Chris Rock). And I know my thinking and opinions are not appreciated. This I completely understand. But as I also stated, it’s just my opinion and my opinion carries zero weight with black women (or any other non-black women) who will continue indulge in the entrenched wig/weave trend. And I respect your civil and honest personal response to my commentary. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 14239 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I'm glad you didn't consider my observations an attack. As usual, I'm just injecting a different view. |
