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     Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 1995 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Glass House - Looking Back Through The Windows! I was going to write a post about Michael Jackson. I was going to write about a poignancy beyond the recent madness of his passing. I deciding against writing that type of post because that post would have been filled with preachy phrases such as "let those without sin cast the first stone" . Some may know that's a reference from the bible. This post is not about the bible. This post is about looking deep inside. The crowd that had gathered around the women accused of adultery dispersed after hearing the above words. The following was heard: "Woman, where are those accusers, did no man condemn thee? - neither do I" For the most part, this post is not about God, Michael Jackson, nor the bible. It's actually a re-post to remind me to be grateful. This post serves to remind me to look before I leap into the rumors of others. I've heard that's it's courageous of me to expose my dirty laundry but it's really not. It's really nothing more than a way for me to get to the other side. It's a learning process. I've learned that the negative thoughts of others can do me no harm. Since I am the one telling my story, the truth is what it is. Flip it, flop it, spin it around, the truth opens the gates to a new world. Love me our leave me alone - you can't touch this - I've done this. What About A Time Called Now! My new venture into blogging has been quite interesting. As of yet, I don't have a purpose or direction and I don't know all the rules, if there are any. I have noticed that people make friends through their blogs. I am going to do something that might be a little different but I have to do this for myself. I am old school and believe in putting mine on the table. Then ....then everyone knows who I am - to some degree. Then we'll see what we are working with - you and I. I do believe blogging is a form of self expression so I think I'll do this once and move on. I think I'll give snippets of my life and let the chips fall where they may. Hello ....my name is Carey and I've been somewhere. Although I am new to blogging I've been an active member of another web site for many years. I thought it fair that I tell you a little about myself since I didn't do it in my bio and then we'll see if you'd like to continue following me through my nonsense and musings. My life has been an adventure to say the least but today I live by the motto "What About A time Called Now". I heard the shot ....I felt the combustion ....a loud thunderous roar ....it felt as if air was trying to force it's way through my head. Six told me that no one would be shot, we were only taking guns to scare them. I'd seen people shot on television but it was nothing like that. Blood was spurting from the man while he lay crying and moaning on the floor. I was only 18, I was involved in a bank robbery and a possible murder. Later in my life I entered the bank after giving the appearance of a man shoveling snow outside. Bank robbery is relatively simple, there are seldom guards. It's the escape and entrance that harbored my concerns. Pedestrians are also unwanted factors. After placing my shovel outside the door, I entered the bank and without saying a word I handed the tellers a large bag; suggesting they should fill it. One clerk fell to the floor ....she was too scared and weak to comply. The other ....with eyes widened, trembling from shock and fear, stumbled through the process. I was covered from head to toe. They couldn't tell if I was a man or a woman, white or black ....I walked out. As you know that was not my first bank robbery. At an early age I witnessed the small nuances between tricks and the women that served them. Everyone enjoys the touch of another and many need to feel as if they belong. I learned that men who paid for the company of women didn't do so merely for sex. They needed to feel like they were a match for the women; that she may even like them. The women did not have to be beautiful ....many were not. Eva wasn't in many opinions an attractive woman .....she was clean, barely 5'5" and overweight. She was sweet and always carried a smile. College was fertile ground for young attractive women. Cool was in me ....it had touched my soul. I was about to travel a road that I could never have imagined ....no one told me ....they didn't know. Women whispered their pleasures to me and I entertained the possibilities. Smooth was cool, he wasn't like the winos that everyone poked fun at. He dressed sharp and everyone wanted to be like him. People said he wasn't a junkie ...but he used Narcotics. Smooth was the talk of the town ....all the women loved him ....I would later find out why. I wanted to be like smooth but I couldn't. I already had a family and I didn't even smoke cigarettes. My brother Carl was a wrestler, a state champ. He said he was good because he worked harder than others at his craft. He got up earlier than others .....no one knew what he was doing. He did it his way. I latched onto that idea. I was young ....the world was in front of me and I wanted it all. I wanted to be cool like smooth, a family man like my father, tough as my brothers and go to college. The US military is one of the largest vehicles for drug smuggling in the world. Rita was my friend ....my lover and my company. She agreed to come along on a trip after receiving a promise of adventure. She was very attractive ....stunning ....movie star quality ....she liked me. While passing through the gate Rita's face showed the look of impending doom. The officer ordered everyone out of the vehicle ....a search was about to happen. Earlier we were in a village ....it was called the jungle ...an area frequented by blacks who were accepted by the locals. It was a humid day ....the sun was bright ....Rita and I were filled with excitement. She was from Virginia and had not traveled much ....she trusted me. We were free and fear was not our enemy. Prior to our journey we talk about the future and the dangers of our travel. I carefully questioned her on the what-ifs ....the possibilities of roadblocks ahead. The officer again said to vacate the vehicle ....Rita went to work. My life spiraled out of control for several years ....one day in the midst of a storm, I called my mother for help ....she said that she had given it to God and suggested that I pray ...I didn't have a relationship with god at that time and was very depressed about my situation ....I nevertheless sent a weak prayer to God and things changed. I didn't know how to pray ....yet I knew I couldn't continue along this path ....I sat in my cell and asked God for help and guidance. Some have said that there are no time stamps on prayers ....I waited. I am here today ....grateful and alive. My mother told me that although I didn't have a relationship with god at that time ....he had never left me. I've come to believe that to be true. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13867 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Just call you the black John Dillinger, huh? Did you rob banks before or after your Air Force stint? Or during?  | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 1996 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
I rob a bank before I went into the military. I rob my last bank about 5 years ago. During my military career I worked with sensitive information, I had a top secret clearence. That allowed me to gain access to data the ushered in a new criminal behavior. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13869 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Planning on robbing another one?? | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 1998 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
No cynique, that's a done deal. But I'll tell you what Cynique. I am considering doing a memior/book and your questions inspire thought. So I really don't mind your question at all. I don't think there are any questions I would be afraid to answer. Excuse me Cynique, I have to holler at somebody. Why didn't I think somebody from this board would stop by the blog and leave mess. Why did I think they would leave their mess over here. I've never had to shut down the "anonymous option but I could. What the person doesn't know is that there a tracking device option on most blog sites. It tells me the route of entry and even the type of system a person is using. I was warned but I thought it would be different. I'll just delete it and tell them to have a nice day. | ||
| Ferociouskitty Veteran Poster Username: Ferociouskitty Post Number: 769 Registered: 02-2008 Rating: N/A |
Good for you, Carey. It's one thing to disagree respectfully, but I tend to view starting mess on someone's blog as the virtual equivalent of walking into someone's house and acting a fool. If you have that much of an issue with me, don't come in my house! ;-) | ||
| Troy AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Troy Post Number: 1863 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Carey, multiply that mess on blog problem one hundred fold, then welcome to my world. I think (This is not directed at you Carey) that when older guys talk about what they used to do -- especially with the ladies and how they changed, by not being such a dog. The change was actually forced upon them by age, not proclivity. Cynique any bank robber worth his salt would not announce his next caper publicly. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 1999 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kitty, I was thinking exactly like you. I couldn't believe that a person would accept an invitation to someones home and then shit in their living room. The person mentioned TC's, so I know they visit here. I assume we all act differentl depending on the crowd we are in. When I go to my mother's house, I am different. When I am at the barbershop, I am different. When I am sitting in a car with somebody, I don't break wind *lol*. I know over here at TC's I have individuals that don't see eye-to-eye with me. I really thought most people have "Internet voices" and therefore, they may change depending on where they go. I guess some take this thang real seriously and will hate where ever they go. I agree Troy, they call it topping out. Frequently it's related to age (maturity), forced or not. yet sometimes if the payoff (downside) is severe enough, a person grows up real fast. But of course you will agree that a person can be a doctor and still be deficient in other areas of his life. Meaning, some behaviors change at a slower rate than others. For the most part (said this before) real change, from bad to good, only happens in a persons life when it's forced upon them, you are so correct. I've also noticed that those that do not believe a person can change their mindset and thus change their behavior, has never been forced to change or have not accepted the realization that they should. Consequently, they don't change and believe no one else does either. Hey, if nothing is wrong, why fix it - right. It's not me but he. Change is not for the weak. I've had to go way back and look at some things - hurting things. I had to look back (way back)and see when my life flipped and WHY it changed. I had to find out why I wanted to be cool and why I wanted to walk on the wild side. It required me to change an image I had of myself. Troy, I actually was thinking about you and other bloggers when my un-mysterious visitor entered my house. Other bloggers have had to shut down their "anonymous" option. Others have written full posts directed at a couple of fools. I can only imagine the nightmare that you face. On top of that, you've probably received hundreds of e-mail from people complaining about content on your board. | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2000 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: |
Let me add: What happened yesterday has been my reasoning behind not "outing" my friends over here that visit my blog. Most post under different names in blog land we seldom reference this site. I didn't want others to form some kind of stupid guilt by association. I've chosen to share some of my posts over here and others have not so I've tried to honor their anonyminity. I respect Kitty's fearlessness in this issue. Poor thang, she even invited me to her house. I told her to be careful what she asked for :-). Another (who's name we will not mention) even gave me an award on their site. So again, I was surprised at seeing my unwelcomed visitor but in retrospect, I shouldn't have been. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13872 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I'm curious about who from this board chewed you out on your blog, Carey. BTW, Troy, considering how elusive Carey hints at being, he could very well announce his intentions to rob another bank just so long as he didn't say where he would do it.  | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2002 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
****Warning, this is a long post **** To answer your question more deeply, Cynique. My whole thang is never to go back to a life that found me in a place that many never return. Mentally, spiritually and physically, I was on the ground. If a man tells you who they "are", try hard to believe them. I tell my stories for several reasons. I blog and that has help me along my journey. The following is a post (with comments) about blogging and my new journey. BLOGGING FROM THE CHEAP SEATS. Can you hear me? I am up here in the cheap seats. I am a little guy in a BIG blog world. Some bloggers are like the guys in the top rows of large sports arenas. I am one of them. We yell at the top of our voices only to be heard by a few. We don't have front row seats and the big boys seldom pass popcorn up to us. We sit in cramped cushion-less seats while others sit with their feet extending onto the playing floor. Sometimes we irritate others sitting next to use as we scream ....trying to be heard. We wait in long lines with the rest of the poor slobs just like us. The eating huts and places to take care of our business are not as plentiful as those of the big boys. Our banners are not very flashy and our templates are borrowed others. Yet we are there to root for our favorite team. We can scream and cheer just like the men and women in the VIP seats. We can let our voices be heard, if only a few will hear. I am reminded of a time I was at a sporting event sitting next to a little old lady. I jumped up and yelled toward the events on the floor. I felt kind of bad because I think I sprinkled a little juice on her. Okay, I spit on her. I didn't do it on purpose but I had something I wanted to say and I had to let it go. Later on in the evening the old lady was screaming louder than me. She too had something she wanted to say. I even heard her say a few lines I had said. Somebody is always listening. I've often gone out for a night of dancing. However, when I arrived at one dancing spot no one was dancing. I am not the best dancer but I wanted to get my groove on. Hesitantly I grab my partner and said lets get on the floor. After a few odd moments the floor started jumping. The floor became crowded with laughter and bumping bodies. It wasn't a big spot but everybody was having fun. As I mentioned, I am not the best dancer, so while I was dancing I look at the other people on the floor and mimicked a few moves of theirs. My journey into blogging has been much like that of my aforementioned adventures. At times I feel as if I am standing in the cheap seats talking to myself. I've heard it said that others do not want to hear our opinions unless they ask for them. I believe that to be true but sometimes "I" need to hear what I have to say. It reminds me of things that are important to me. A serendipitous reward of blogging is others might hear us and gain insight and knowledge from our words. We never know who is listening or why they are listening but it's safe to say that someone ....someone can hear us. I've often said that I've yet to find a reason or purpose for blogging. Today I received a reward based on something I must have said in my blog. It's not the Oscar but it meant a great deal to me. I will explain the award in my next post. Maybe there's a purpose in this blogging thang that only others can define for you. I hope that you keep coming back and visiting. I am a pawn on a large playing field. I am a small fish in a vast sea. I like to fish and sometimes I go fishing and do not catch a thing. Sometimes I go and catch the big one. I've been on the Internet for several years, I've met some nice people. I've been blogging for less than 2 months. I hope to met more individuals like myself that love to share their thoughts and dreams. My hat is off to the little people up in the cheap seats. CAN YOU HEAR ME UP THERE?!? posted by CareyCarey at 11:01 AM on Apr 20, 2009 Keith said... I hear ya man...I've been blogging for about a year now and that was my only reason for blogging, to see and hear just what it was I was thinking about. I wasn't even aware that there were other blogs and bloggers like me out there. I was going for weeks without a comment. It was so bad that my wife and daughter would comment out of sympathy..Then one day a fellow named Zack became my first commenter and opened me up to an entire world of blogging ,I didn't even know existed. Then I met Miz and she introduced me to the entire blogoverse as it's called.. That has made it real for me and I've been on a roll ever since. You are doing better than I did..It's been two months and you've already attracted the superstars of the blogging world to your page (Miz,Blu Jewel, Zack,Rippa, Lovebabz et al) I wish you much sucess. April 20, 2009 11:51 AM RiPPa said... Oh I got something for you tomorrow my man. I so feel this post. I still feel like you even after having my page open for just about 1yr. I've even developed some prejudices with this blog thing as well. But that's another topic all together. Keep doing what you're doing, and remember... Mohamed never went to the mountain... the mountain came to Mohamed. April 20, 2009 11:57 AM A.Smith said... I think the irony of blogging is that we all feel like no one is listening. There's only a handful of blogs that get the major hits and those are the entertainment blogs. Those of us in the cheap seats who are talking about the stuff happening to us every day, we're the ones leaving people speechless with a lot to think about. At least that explains a lack of comments.  Love this post. April 20, 2009 12:29 PM A Free Spirit Butterfly said... I'm with you and Keith. I started blogging because so much was going on in my head. I was born to write something; anything. The pen in my hand could not hold a candlestick to the keyboard on my laptop. I overheard a coworker talk about blogging last May and here I am. I love the people I've met and the interesting "stuff" I've read but not as much as a word or sentence that has touch and added depth to my life. We are never to old to learn and grow. Sharing ourselves makes the world go round. Out of our joy and pain, someone can related. If I never got a visitor, I would still post, 80% of the internet surfers out there don't comment, they just read and keep it moving. That's fine by me. Some people have found me by just hitting, "next blog". I like that too :-) If, I did decide to stop it would only be because my boss is sitting next to me or that damn Comcast Cable company went up on my service again at home (LOL) Otherwise, you're stuck with me! Love, peace and continued blessings! Remember, the Lord has a plan for you that you know "nothing" about, so keep on keeping on! April 20, 2009 12:56 PM Strongblkwmn said... I've been blogging for a little while now and i'm still chillin' in the cheap seats. It use to bother me, but i'm good now. I would look at other blogs and they'd have a bunch of comments and followers and I would wonder if I was doing something wrong. I finally realized that I blog for me. I needed to write and blogging is a wonderful outlet for my thoughts. I've also made some great blog friends, so it's all good. You're doing better than me at this point. You have more followers and receive more comments and you haven't been at it that long. I don't think you'll be in the cheap seats for long. April 20, 2009 1:10 PM Karen said... I love the comparison to an arean or a stadium! I am new to your blog, but I think we all have a purpose in being in the blogworld. Sometimes blogging is like journaling. Sometimes we need advice. Sometimes we can touch someone else with our words. I have made a some good friends through blogging - one that I hang out with in the real world all the time. That alone is worth the journey of blogging. April 20, 2009 1:35 PM Solomon said... I've always been stuck in the cheap seats. Maybe one day we can catch a game together in the VIP seats, what do you think bro? I've only been blogging for a couple months myself, I'm not much into posting yet, but I love roaming around and checking out what everyone else has to say. Love your blog bro! April 20, 2009 3:18 PM SLC said... In my experience there's more fun in the cheap seats. Do me a favor please. Read my last post. PerspectiveI posted it last week but I don't think you've seen it yet. Thanks again, Dude in the row behind you April 20, 2009 9:26 PM SLC said... Hey Carey thanks for stopping by. Perspective was my first blog and is actually a little more active than the others. I've been tagged 5 times (I think). Keith is tagged about once a day (lol). A tag usually comes from someone who has recieved that same tag and is an acknowledgment that they like your blog. This can also result in increased traffic to your blog. While you may feel like your in the nose bleed seats now, I see you joining Keith. Keith is like Spike Lee at a Knick's game; front row center. As far as the music flavor; no hard rock; no country western. Winans, Hall & Oates, Mary Mary, Kirk Whalum, LTD, The Gap Band, Hezekiah Walker............. April 21, 2009 4:48 AM chele said... I hear you. I've been at it for about four years and I've come to the point where it's really not an issue if anyone reads. That's not why I write. If someone does get something out of it, than that's the icing on the cake. April 21, 2009 6:31 AM LoudPen said... See, Carey I told you I would stop by. I'm glad I read this post because it is definitely related to mine. It's hard out here for a blogger but, I'm glad I do it. It feels like a job at times but, it's a fun job that allows me to vent and expose my interests to other people. April 30, 2009 12:52 PM | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3571 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hey, Carey, I missed it: What happened over on your blog? | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2003 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yvettep, it was just a negative vibe/comment, carried over from this site. I say this site because they mentioned their displeasure of me posting @ TC's. As you know, I'll debate an issue that I post on my blog but I can't do "personalities", if you know what I mean. Also, they commented under anonymous so I believed they didn't want to talk about the context of my post. I assumed they just had a beef with me and I don't care to do that. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 3573 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Oh, I see. Well, I agree w/FK--you can't have folks up in your house being rude and whatnot. LOL | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13875 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Why bring this issue over to Thumper's Corner if you have no intention of being more specific, Carey??? What is the point? That's one reason why I called you "elusive", - as in vague, and your response that I should believe what you tell me you ARE doesn't change my opinion. As one of only 2 other woman whom I can think of who has clashed with you on Thumper's Corner, I remove myself from suspicion in regard to the nameless sniper on your blog. Anonynomity is not my style, not to mention that I've only checked your blog out maybe twice after you first mentioned it, and I've subsequently forgotten what the link to it is. So as to not spend all of my free time on the internet, I have a limited menu of sites that I frequent. Thumper's Corner and on-line card games are the places where I choose to have live contact with real people. I am not really a blog person | ||
| Carey AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 2006 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: |
Cynique, listen, my comment "when a person tells you who they are, believe them, is not mine. It's from a very popular black "educator". It was a general statement, I was not talking to you. My purpose for bringing this to this site was to tell the person that I basically know who they are and was asking them to be more respectful if they do feel a need to return. In reference to "2 other women" I have no idea how or why that is an issue. I didn't say it was a women nor does it has to be someone that has openly had a disagreement with me. Not saying it is not that type of person but I nevertheless didn't say that it was. Again, your preception of me being elusive on this issue is a fair opinion on your part but my decision to not "out" the individual was solely geared toward suggesting the person not come back. People that post under anonymous, do so for reasons all their own. I'll let them have that option but it's still my job to delete comments that I do not think is beneficial to me or my readers. I'll debate issues but I don't care to do people - not there. Doing people and slinging mud is a hard bed we've cultivated over here. At times I wish we could go back and repair the damage we've done. Many people have a real disdain for that type of exchange. Even though I find myself walking down that very road of mess, I am feeling less prone to continue. |
