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Ntfs_encryption
Regular Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 27
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 11:29 pm: | 
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The reading below is a copy of a dated e-mail that was sent to me by a friend. It was so hard core, I had to post it. The e-mail consisted of a black woman’s emotional response to a letter that was written by a some what angry black man. The black mans letter describes his personal experiences with black American women. The brother is obviously very frustrated with dating game and American black women in particular. As you can see, the black woman who commented about his acerbic letter was greatly offended by what he said. I would like for the board readers to review the two writings and post their comments. There probably are a few readers who may have similar personal experiences. I’m also sure some readers may want to post where they stand with this very emotional and highly charged subject.
NTFS Encryption
______________________________________________________________________
Folks when I first read this, my mouth was wide open, I couldn't believe what I was reading this ... a little later the tears started and in between the tears ... anger ... more tears and now a feeling of helplessness. Since I am already on an emotional edge, this email has really thrown me for a loop.
I am seeing more and more, the severe damage and the devasting, generational effects the institution of slavery has been on the African American people.
I remember John Clarke talking about the stages that we go through when we become aware of our history for I am in the stage of "I just don't see how we are ever going to come together as a people...this feels so big"
And then I hear a little voice that says "Forgive him,for he knows not what he is doing, what he is saying, or who he is truly is" oooohhhhh. This too shall pass. I hope.
"It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
By Randy Short Hilltop Staff Writer
____________________________________________________________________________
I am refugee of love! And I discovered that I can be happy without the overly complicated and frigid female members of my ethnic group by dating almost-exclusively outside the African-American community. Why? Too many African-American women have lost their femininity, have toxic attitudinal problems Freud wouldn't want to understand, misdirected anger, and apparently prefer to exchange love for abuse from no-count brothers. Who wants to compete with a crack head, pimp, pusher, satyr, or functionally illiterate brother for the love of a sister who won't respect you anyway? And, if you're an intellectual like me, every sister with a serious weight problem seems to think that you're the "man that God sent to marry her." Why do the good brothers have to be down with fat? Their god must be Colonel Sanders. I'm not the one!
My life's sojourn has taken me to a new plateau. I have reached
a point where I have rejected the notion that I must marry someone
black. Possibly, my contribution to the African-American male shortage might inspire some sisters to check themselves out. My decision to look elsewhere follows many years of study, reflection, and observation. Personally, I believe that too many black women have the "Sapphire" virus, and almost all other women are better matches than our greedy, insubordinate, male-loathing, hypercritical, and socially-hermaphrodized sisterhood. Black is beautiful, but it's not very relational, rational, cooperative, or gracious. At one time in life, I used to hate on black men who dated and married outside of our community. I saw them as traitors, suckers, men with inferiority complexes who wanted blond babies. Now I know how foolish and utterly naïve I was.
It took repeated encounters with women outside of the black community to unravel my narrow-minded and one-dimensional view of exogamous marriage and relationships. I hope what I'm saying angers many black women enough to examine themselves and find the answer to why so many black men are seeking love other than theirs. Puberty, the years in college that followed, and then travel revolutionized how I see myself and women.
As an academic brother, I never had a china man's chance of being a "player" among African-American females. Intelligence is a turnoff. At age 15, thought the sisters would someday like brothers like myself. They didn't.
They don't. The sisters never grew up. Fools and dogs ruled supreme
in high school, college, and the workplace. And at Howard, I think if
you don't distribute your own personalized STDs, sisters don't think that you care! Their values seem to say infidelity, sloth, addiction, date-rape, illiteracy, and HIV-positive are the characteristics of a good man. Too many black American women are caught up into theatrical “baby mama drama” and having numerous children out of wedlock with no thought as to the moral consequences of their promiscuous and irresponsible lifestyles. I have traveled to Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, and South America. This gave me a different perspective on many things, including love and male/female relations.
Everywhere that I have gone the women have been fantastic. Theres a love and hunger for black men that I never encounter here. And after a period abroad, the TLC-man-hater-my-vagina-rules-the-world narcissism of my female peers seems stale and old. Who wants to be treated like a sexual panhandler just because your eyes meet theirs and you say hello? And where does the grandiose self-delusionary arrogant mindset of the typical urban 5 inch fake nail-weaved out-over weight-chicken head-section 8-hoochie mama come from?
Tantamount in my conversion from ethnic-mating loyalty was my trips to Brazil in 1996, 1997, and 1998. I found what I always wanted: beautiful black women with minds and bodies that no man could resist. Their love, affection, friendliness, and boldness when they really liked you was like waking up in heaven. Those sisters were as a rule, genuine, and very sexy. They had natural beauty and unlike black American women, obesity was not seen as some desirable virtue.
Any man who had education was a coveted prize. I was astounded by the fact that bad past relationships were not projected onto me. Instead, women who have suffered far worse than those in the United States had a zest for life and a strong sense of love for men, in spite of the dogs, thugs, and knuckleheads. Down there, thugs and dogs are not highly esteemed, and often get their penises cut off. Being in a relationship with a Brazilian woman, even if she is just a friend, you have the feeling that you can conquer the world, and that they would help you.
The charm, sweetness, brazen femininity, and honest vulnerability
of Brazilian sisters has ruined me. I find it difficult to tolerate women
here. Everyday, I dream about going back. I lost my innocence by finding in my sisters in Brazil an acceptance and respect for my manhood and my intellect that I have never had here. I gained my dignity by refusing to settle for some "pigeon" just because our ethnicity and nationality are the same. As for love overseas, I can't wait to return for another look. I no longer worry or feel anxious about love, because I know that there is an abundance of warm and loving Afro-Brazilian women who really mean it when they say they like sensitive men, which they call "Carinhosos." These men are akin to the overlooked goodfellas here who often settle for cutouts.
I hope some of my neglected brothers take a trip and find out that America has not only denied you your manhood, but has taken away your right to meet balanced black women who have your back. I want any brother who finds love outside of the black community, considering how crazy our sisters are, to celebrate in the moment and not be inhibited by nasty stares or rude comments by bitter nappy headed chicken head haters. Some folks aren't worthy of a good man. Love is all that matters. Don't be imprisoned by the myths of the sisters who want you to be sex-starved plan-Bs when they say you are a sellout if you find happiness outside of blackdom. Find love by any means necessary!
Randy Short is a Special Projects Editor for the HILLTOP and a Ph.D.
Candidate in the Department of African Studies.
Well, there ya have it! I would love to hear some of the reactions and opinions from the board readers. I dunno....I guess he was just voicing his personal pain and frustration with American black women. How many other black men have been emotionally scared and embittered by the scandalous and self indulgent behavior of some black women (and yes -the same could be said for victimized black women)? Seems that we have a very bitter black man and a very hurt black woman in our ranks. What do you think?
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Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 399
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:23 am: |
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---"almost all other women are better matches than our greedy, insubordinate, male-loathing, hypercritical, and socially-hermaphrodized sisterhood"---
Yeah that phrase pretty much says it all about YOU. A REAL man can stand up to what a black woman throws at him. Clearly YOU can't so SCREW YOU! |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1069
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 10:49 am: |
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***As an academic brother, I never had a china man's chance of being a "player" among African-American females. Intelligence is a turnoff. At age 15, thought the sisters would someday like brothers like myself. They didn't.
They don't. The sisters never grew up. Fools and dogs ruled supreme in high school, college, and the workplace***
_________________________________
MARK MY WORDS:
HE'S UGLY....
HE COULDN'T GET MANY SISTAHS TO FUCK WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WAS AN UGLY BOY WHO NEVER GREW UP TO BE A HANDSOME MAN....
AND...
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NOW AND BEFORE HE "REJECTED THE NOTION" IS.. HE'S BEEN DRIVEN TO BECOME UGLY ON THE INSIDE AS WELL...
HE'S IN-SIDE-OUT UGLY, NOW.
GIVEN THIS MOST LIKELY FACT, HIS COMMENTS - ALTHOUGH PARTLY TRUE - SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT... AND HIS DEPARTURE SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN AS REJECTION NOR DEJECTION.... NONE OF IT IS REASON TO GET EMOTIONAL.. IMO..
IN FACT..
IT'S ONE LESS IN-SIDE-OUT NIGGA TO MAKE A MISTAKE AND FEEL SORRY FOR BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE A "NICE GUY" ON THE INSIDE AND YOU DECIDED TO OVERLOOK HIS PHYSICAL SHORTCOMINGS EVEN THOUGH YOU HAD TO CLOSE YOUR GODDAMN EYES EVERY TIME THE NIGGA LEANED OVER TO KISS YOU -- YOU'D SAY TO YOURSELF AT FIRST.. "OH, WHAT THE FUCK!?" BUT THEN YOU'D RATIONALIZE BY SAYING.."WELL, HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY" -- ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER ON THAT YOU FUCKED SOME GREEZY, LIVER-LIPPED, IN-SIDE-OUT, MIDGET FROG....
(THAT SHIT HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE -- I SWEAR TO GOD, I HAD TO CLOSE MY EYES WHEN THAT NIGGA BENT DOWN TO KISS ME -- ALL BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS "NICE ON THE INSIDE").
AN IMAGE LIKE THAT WILL HAUNT YOU FOR A LIFE-TIME.... SO THAT'S ONE LESS IN-SIDE-OUT NIGGA FOR US SISTAHS TO WORRY ABOUT.
SOMETIMES, LIGHT/WHITE WOMEN WHO HAVE NO PROBLEM FUCKIN GREEZY BUG-EYED NIGGAZ FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF GETTING PAID...............
ARE TRUE GODSENDS TO US BLACK WOMEN.
TONYA
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Zuriburi
Newbie Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 17
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:15 am: |
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He is a self hating Black man. The eagerness with which he insults can be heard in the tone of the article. This is not done with even a smiggin of understanding for pain that black women endure as a result of simply existing. I'm glad that his blind hatered IS evident, if not we might be tempted to consider his ramblings.
The scariest thing to me is that this Asshole is a candidate professor for African Studies.
Scary also is that with all of his intelligence he can't see his own Hatred.
Good luck with the bearly beige Afro Brazilian.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1070
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:24 am: |
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THERE'S A WOOOOOORLD OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND BEING
A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN JUDGED UNATTRACTIVE BY EVEN THE MOST REASONABLE OF PEOPLE....
WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET AN ISSUE AS SENSITIVE AS COLORISM BECOME A SOAPBOX FOR FRUSTRATED UGLY PEOPLE....
THAT SHOULD BE A SEPARATE ISSUE.
TONYA |
Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 401
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:32 am: |
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encryption, I wasn't telling YOU to srew off.I was so pissed off at that article I could'nt help but speak directly.
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Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 121
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 12:36 pm: |
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Tonya,
You are a perfect example this brotha is talking about. Black American women like you are so busy worried about what's on the outise and not focused on the inside. And it's for that reason a lot of brothas who may not be good looking on the outside are forced to find black women in other countries or even go outside of the black race to find a good woman who will accept him. This brotha seems like an intelligent brotha but unfortunately Black American women are just so damn blind when they see a good black man. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 962
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 01:04 pm: |
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This is what said everything about who this man is--and it's so common in Black American people:
I want any brother who finds love outside of the black community, considering how crazy our sisters are, to celebrate in the moment and not be inhibited by nasty stares or rude comments by bitter nappy headed chicken head haters.
What does their "nappy hair" have to do with their attitudes?
This reminded me of Michael Jackson on the telephone saying: "I hate my nigger hair". The same infinate hatred....that has nothing to do with the women he's talking about.
This man has not been raised.
He doesn't realize that WITHOUT African hair--you can't truly be Black.
And that it's the blackness he described that he's trying to escape. He scapegoats the women, because it's them who make him black.
And the majority....the MAJORITY of Black American men are like that. I've heard this type of "comment" all my life from THEM about black people's looks. And it's spreading to the rest of the world.
Notice that BLACKAMERICANKING called him an intelligent brother.
When you WANT SOMEONE...you make it work.
The true problem is that he doesn't want himself and he's making excuses.
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Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 122
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 02:12 pm: |
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Kola,
I LOVE Black women with all my heart, but SOME black women seriously need to wake up. I can honestly understand what this brotha has been through with Black American women. Good black men in America like myself just wait for good black women to fall in our laps but it's just not going to happen. Many of our women don't give us good black men any attention. But those damn THUGS, PIMPS, DRUG DEALERS etc. seem to get the attention of black women. I think it's good that the brotha is trying to find a good black woman in other countries. Personally, i am NOT looking for a non-black woman, but trust me, there are plenty of Asian, White and Latin women who would love to have a good black man. |
Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 402
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 02:56 pm: |
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Blackamericanking,
Thugs pimps and drug dealers make me SICK! It boggles my mind when I see well educated black women ( or any women) attracted to these super-macho "Fiddy cent" clones. I'm attracted to anyone who uses their brainpower to their highest potential like I do. That includes black men.
Every group has that selection of people that are just blinded by romantic images and fliped priorities. Black women are no exception. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3137
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 03:55 pm: |
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Laughing my ass off. What a self-fulfilling prophecy that letter was. After reading it, the women on this board immediately closed ranks and converged to became a part of the problem instead of part of the solution. Instead of gleening some elements of truth from the message, they immediately pounce on the messenger. Funny. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 963
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 04:31 pm: |
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I see thin, shapely attractive young black women everywhere I go.
They are friendly and eager to meet worthwhile people.
The same ugly habits I see in black women...I see in White women and Latina and Asian and women from Africa, Brazil, the Carribean and everywhere else in the world.
*I've seen German women sucking on their dogs's tongues.
*I've seen TONS of fat latina women. They do tend to be shaped like bread boxes, have flat asses and turn to shapeless hairy dough women by 40 and beyond.
*I've seen Asian women who call their half-black children "niggers" and abandon them. I have a black man friend right now who was abandonded with his two half-Korean sons.
*I notice that ALLLLLLL the golddiggers taking black men's money and making fools of them are WHITE or LATINA. Not black.
*And if you want to see women who STINK, have lice, bathe only twice a week and aren't used to completely wiping their asses----try the mixed race prostitutes BRAZIL.
Women who are desperate to get American Citizenship and are not treating him like he claims because of him.....but because of what they can get OUT of him. And in 10 years, he'll be writing a letter about how his Brazilian girl is now AMERICANIZED, calling herself a womanist and leaving him for a GRINGO white man---the REAL King in her eyes.
When I was tour in 2004---in every city I went to--I saw thin or nicely shaped young black women with pretty smiles, vivacious voices and dazzling brown eyes. Some with natural African hair and some with realistic perms and weaves.
I met "book people"....
....smart black women who were laughing and chatting with smart black men.
I also noticed that the men ALWAYS...ALWAYS gravitated to the women in the room who were the "least" black in color.
A beautiful THIN but SHAPELY intelligent black woman whether brown or yellow.....was left alone to chat with the other women while a brother talked to a plain misshapen thin/fat Non-black woman.
At every BLACK bookstore owned by a Black man---the woman managing the store was High Yellow with faux Euro-like hair and had African scarves or Kente cloth draped over her shoulder. These Afrocentric black men.....never ever hired a young, gorgeous chocolate BLACK looking woman
.....and God knows----GOD KNOWS Cynique. That Black America is crawling with these types of women.
Black women outnumber black men 5 to 1, and in some areas 8 to 1.
And they are alone and to this black man's eye--invisible.
Yet you're claiming that this man has a legitimate beef when he says that he has to LEAVE THE UNITED STATES....to find a decent black woman.
I'm sure that women like yourself and MOONSIGNS probably love these flagrant stereotypes, believe in them and USE THEM to absolve you from having to give a shit about the millions of young women who are being stereotyped and not even given a chance, because young men are being fed this message from black men like him....along with the messages they receive from the media of the dominant white culture and from.....generations of self-hating black men who scapegoat and ridicule black women.
Of course you do. Because you'd rather be patted on the back by black men than see them healthy and being born back into this world.
Which is to say that anyone who reads the line that I posted and who dissects this man's message...will know immediately that his message
is that he can only see the NEGATIVE in black females----all other women are automatically GOOD and WORTHY and without flaws.
Otherwise, he would not have written something so ignorant and ALL-CONSUMING of Black American women.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1073
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 04:35 pm: |
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***Thugs pimps and drug dealers make me SICK!
Every group has that selection of people that are just blinded by romantic images and fliped priorities. Black women are no exception.***
Thank you, Roxie!!!
I don't know why, all of a sudden, black men have gotten into the habbit of saying black women -- women, not girls -- are attracted to low-life knuckleheads. Frankly, that comment says more about the man who'd make it. If you're a man over 25, why are you concerned about the *GIRLS* who would find such men attractive....??? That, by itself, rubs me the wrong way because it puts me in the mind of a PERVERT ..and it also begs me to wonder why our men seem to have such a problem growing up. They think, agian.. all of a sudden, that they're the only ones suffering from lack of love & attention. In addition to having such silly thoughts.. they think that being used in the most vile, disrespecful, DEHUMANIZING way.. by light/white women who are with them for nothing else but their money or because there's no other choice.. is the answer to the IMAGINARY black women shortage... (ruining their already tarnished reputations, btw -- Noboby respects a nigga who doesn't respect himself). The ironic thing about this is, black women are actually the ones facing the shortage, but do you see us line'n up to be debased & dehumanized by white men. And ya better believe there's PLENTY of white men out there lookin' for some lonely, "exotic", animalistic, "jungle love" from lonesome black women who are suffering from A REAL male shortage/ABANDONMENT.
But do ya see us going out like that???
No.. because, although our men are mice, we're women... we will survive.
Tonya |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 816
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 04:37 pm: |
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As Brazil is chock full of very brown/black women, I don't think what he is rejecting is the color of Black, American women. I think what he is rejecting is the culture and socialization of American women in general.
I found the entire tone of this email to be male-ego centered. Everything was about about him and how he needed to be affirmed, desired and made to feel like a man--rather than just being a man on his own two feet--he NEEDS to have his ego stroked. Not that there aren't American women who will do this, however, I find that this male-catering is most prevalant in countries outside America because women have no other choice. They are totally dependent on men for survivial. Sure, any AMERICAN "dyck" with an education is coveted because it's a "meal ticket" out of the hell a majority of these women experience in their country--and they'll make any egotistical man believe they are sugar and spice until their feet hit American soil. Shyt happens all the time. Am I generalizing? Sure. However, I've also seen some crazy shyt happen with men who marry foreign brides and, initially, think it's 'all gravy'.
I would take what this man writes with a grain of salt. He's a baby that thinks any woman should be honored to have his company--blah, blah, blah. Women in America have the rights that a lot of other women dont' have--and what it exposes is that many men can't handle a woman having access to the same opportunities as them as well as the right to control their own lives. They are powerful and strong when they are self-sufficient and independent yet women are somehow, in a round about way, nasty bitches. Go figure.
Nevetheless, I'd tell this man to buy a bigger house--as all her "people" will want to come to America, too.
LMAO!
P.S. Usually smart, "ugly" men go overseas to find "love" and companionship because American women know they don't have to settle.
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Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 817
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 04:42 pm: |
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Kola,
We posted at about the same time--so I just read your message. I don't agree at all with the author of this email. If you have read my message you will understand my perspective.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 965
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 05:58 pm: |
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Here's my message to Black American women:
http://www.thumperscorner.com/discus/messages/179/8593.html?1134601045 |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1074
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:18 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
I know that you and I are usually on the opposite sides of the fence.. however.. I agree with you beyond completeness on this one.
Black American women are not afraid to be (MIS)regarded as lonely & bitter, especially if it means we won't have to put up with some weakling ass clown. As you said, we are powerful strong and self-sufficient. OUR FEMININITY COMES FROM OUR POWER.. and unlike insecure women, we're not desperate feeble and defenseless enough to let insecure men (black or otherwise) lead us to believe anything else.... We know what we want and when we come across anything less we won't hesitate to let a nigga know EXACTLY where the FUCK he can put it.
We understand our assets; it's our strength & our power.
Tonya |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3140
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:20 pm: |
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I tend to think the letter is a fake. The writer definitely has an agenda. But, like it or not, it is the way a lot of black men feel. And all the rants and reponses in the world are not going to change that; they simply exacerbate an already bad situation. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 969
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:40 pm: |
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Tonya,
My only frustration with your last post...and I see this with so many Black women
...is the refusal to show any "vulnerability".
That's NOT STRENGTH.
That's "hardness".
And I think that black women should stop ALLOWING the society to saddle them with this title: "Strong Black Woman".
I never accept that title, because what they're really saying is----"Don't worry about them, they can take care of themselves. It's OK to abandon and not protect them".
I'm a LIVING WOMAN. I'm not that strong. And I NEED men in my life. I believe all women do.
And there's nothing wrong with standing our ground, being powerful as YOU ARE and still admitting that we're human, we're not superwomen. We have human needs.
And I believe that femininity comes from women having the SPACE to be feminine...to feel safe being feminine....and from the feeling of being desirable and adored.
Other races of women are WATERED constantly, therefore they bloom.
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Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1058
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:41 pm: |
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hmmmm...let me give another male perspective, since blkamericanking has sided, it seems, with Randy Short...maybe the "short" has something to do with it.
Now, I am sure that there are black women who represent all of what he has said. There is no doubt! All of us have seen her. BUT, the problem is that he has used the a few women to represent the whole of a culture.
Also, his rhetoric is problematic. As Kola has pointed out, he seems to have some skin texture and skinn problems. Moonsigns, you are correct that there are various shades of black women in Brasil, but, it seems, to me that he prefers the lighter ones.
He has also stereotyped black women. Not all black women like "thugs" and many women who have children do not have baby mama drama. Also, most educated black people are women, so here again, he is also off the mark. Now, I can't speak for yall, but few of my educated black female friends would date a "thug."
Finally, while he has traveled, he doesn't understand, it seems to me, how his Nationality, as a U.S. citizen, maybe what the women are attracted to rather than his intellect or himself as human being. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1075
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:41 pm: |
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We're not ranting..
we're just expressing how we feel about how a lot of black men feel....
We're black women -- we're allowed.
Tonya |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 794
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:43 pm: |
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I, too, sense "fake" and a deliberate attempt to provoke. But who knows. I googled the guy and he is, indeed, a grad student.
If true, I feel bad for the guy. I sense a lot of pain in what he says--No matter how much he wants to convince us that he is happy with his new-found love and attention, it sounds like he is embarking on these relationships from a stance of revenge or something.
Too bad. Truly meaningful relationships are difficult enough without entering into them with such baggage. I hope fo his sake and the sake of his partners/potential partners he is able to find some healing. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1059
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:43 pm: |
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oops...:Also, there are more educated black women than men. Now, I can't speak for yall, but few of my educated black female friends would date a "thug."
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1076
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:11 pm: |
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***I think that black women should stop ALLOWING the society to saddle them with this title: "Strong Black Woman I never accept that title, because what they're really saying is----"Don't worry about them, they can take care of themselves. It's OK to abandon and not protect them".***
Kola, I feel the exact same way about that title as you do, in fact, I could've written that myself.. (not trying to put myself on your level as a writer; I'm just sayin, those words could've came directly from my mouth).
But my question is, what exactly about that letter or that author should I feel "vulnerable" or get "emotional" or even offended about????
Honestly???
What I DO feel is pitty... because, in my opinion, both he and black men in general are victims themselves.
I think he is a victim of ugliness (I honestly feel that way).. and I think most black men are victims of something else... colorism
Now, I'll admit that I've been effected by colorism.. but since I am no longer a victim of it, it's impossible to feel vulnerable to victims of something that I've overcome.
And I won't pretend to be weak just because they wan't me to -- because that would make me a victim of something else... sexism.
Let's just say, I've learned my lesson. I've grown. Overcoming colorism has made me a stronger person.
Tonya
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1077
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:29 pm: |
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My bad.. I meant to say: I learned my lesson. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 970
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:51 pm: |
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Tonya, I understand.
And I was talking about how BlkAmericanKing responded to you and the rage and hardness you were expressing in all your posts.
Because of that TONE--he could not even hear the truth in your words. The TONE was immediately harsh and brutal.
I am NOT criticizing you or taking away from the fact that you are right---I'm just saying, we black women could sometimes: "try a little tenderness".
In our responses.
And I could take my own advice. I'm way too harsh sometimes.
I know you're a together sister Tonya and I respect you so much. I'm scared of you as these men are girl. LMAO!!!
|
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3142
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:59 pm: |
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It has ever been so. Women may not marry them, but they've always found the bad boys irresistible. When T-BOZ of the music group TLC was asked what she wanted in a husband, she replied a "corporate" thug. So gals have nobody to blame but themselves if they think they're too fly to check out a nerd. He may be a Bill Gates in the rough. BTW, T-Boz got her wish and ended up getting a divorce. Take note, Beyonce. LOL |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1078
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 09:38 pm: |
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My "TONE" matched the brotha's tone in his letter quite nicely..
if I may say so myself....
I notice that that's something you didn't address with Blackamericanking...
so allow me to do the honors:
THIS IS WAR, NIGGAZ!!!
GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!!!
Tonya |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 287
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 10:36 pm: |
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This man say that black women are fat, lazy, nappy haired, promiscuous women with too many children, etc., and they understand why other black men don't want us, and we're not even worthy of a good man.
And we're the ones with the problem.
Interesting.
Please excuse me if I don't rush to rub his back and suck his dick. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 972
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:19 pm: |
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LOL!
The one and only thing I don't like about our men is that their dicks are too big.
I wish they could tone that shit down.
Just being honest.
I love black men so much. I just can't fathom the idea that they don't adore us.
We're so unique compared to other women!
I mean, seriously, girls. We black women are the fucking fabric of fabrics!
What college is he teaching at? I need to drop by and take him a PLATE of food.
|
Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 123
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:46 am: |
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Tonya,
With that nasty attitude you will NEVER find a good black man. I really laugh at black women like you. For some reason it seems that black women with an atttitude, think they are being strong...LOL...You are weak sista...LOL..Black women like you are the ones brotha Randy Short is talking about. And you all blame black men for daing non-black women.
Please black women, stop, think and take a long look at yourselves. If you meet a good black man who is not gay, a drug user or has ever been in jail, do everything possible to keep that brotha. Let him know you want a real man and not a criminal, thug, or someone who cheats. Tell him, you love a man who gives his woman flowers, chocolates, likes to go for a walk in the park and spend lots of time with his lady. If good black women would take the time to talk and listen to good black men, then maybe those brothers would stop seeking women of other races. Let's get our act together, I wanna see STRONG relationships between black men and black women. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1079
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:33 am: |
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The ONLY thing a black man IS ABLE to do for me..
is lick the crack of my ass right....
Fuck flowers and candy -- win a war we can be proud of....
Until then, we'll CONTINUE getting our treats from the TRUE King --
THE WHITE MAN
...he's been SUPPORTING us with our treats thus far.
Tonya |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3143
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:43 pm: |
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Have you ever considered embracing the lesbian lifestyle, Tonya? You should, because you really don't have what it takes to get any man to love you. LOL |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1080
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 01:05 pm: |
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If you call what most of these BLACK men have to give love...
then perhaps you're right -- I won't get none of these niggas to love me.
And the world keeps turning.... (Thanks, Moonsigns)
Tonya |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3145
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 01:23 pm: |
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Maybe you should get a cat. I hear they make good companions. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1081
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 01:42 pm: |
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Notice that it's the FEMALES on this board that's been doing all the tripp'n.
And we wonder why "it's a man's world!?!?!"...
cum dripping females put them there.
The sad part about it is, they aint even getting paid..
Just a slap on the ass and a reminder of the days when they were "cute"..
damn shame.
Tonya |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 795
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 01:47 pm: |
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Have you ever considered embracing the lesbian lifestyle
You may have been joking/provoking, Cynique, but this raises an interesting point. I remember an article in Essence a couple years back by a Black lesbian lamenting the state of Black/Black lesbian relationships (e.g., how hard it was to find a "good" Black woman who wanted a relationship with another Black woman). And a Black gay male friend of mine has said the same thing in that arena (e.g., Black men having many options regarding being seen as "exotic" partners by White males).
Could it just be that ALL Black on Black romantic relationships are in peril???
That would be sad. Especially if this peril is not related to simple "choice" but to the type of pain and baggage over past rejection that I think this letter demonstrates. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1082
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 02:08 pm: |
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***Especially if this peril is not related to simple "choice" but to the type of pain and baggage over past rejection that I think this letter demonstrates.***
Whites and other races of people go through the same kind of rejection and have the same amount of baggage, as a result of pasts relationships.
I think our problems are much deeper than that, Yvette.
Tonya
|
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3146
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 02:27 pm: |
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Yes, Yvette, there is a lot of resentment and distrust in the black community and this seems to spill over into relationships. So many deep-rooted factors contribute to this state of affairs. The estrangements forged by slavery continue to have an impact and the absence of eligible black men certainly contributes to not only pitting women against each other, but against the men who betray them because they have no incentive to be monogamous. Sad, sad, sad, |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 973
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 02:29 pm: |
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Kola's been getting paid.
And there ain't a damned thing a WHITE MAN can do for me.
Tonya you wrote:
The ONLY thing a black man IS ABLE to do for me..
is lick the crack of my ass right....
Fuck flowers and candy -- win a war we can be proud of....
Until then, we'll CONTINUE getting our treats from the TRUE King --
THE WHITE MAN
...he's been SUPPORTING us with our treats thus far.
Tonya
You need to speak for your damn self TONYA. That shit was too heavy handed and it DOES indicate that you're just as bitter as the man who wrote the letter.
You sound like a black man saying the only thing BW can do for him is suck his dick.....and that it's the White Woman he loves.
That's EXACTLY what you said and I don't appreciate you putting "WE" on the shit.
You wrote that to hurt black men's feelings.
Not because it's the truth.
White Men trash and shit on black women just like any other men. ALL MEN share the same contempt for "blackness" and consequently, Black women.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3147
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 02:42 pm: |
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Yeah, Tonya, your rawness could benefit from some mellowing out. It is a man's world, but if a woman is smart she can be the power behind the throne. And being smart means not adopting an adversarial relationship with the prospect you have your eye on. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1083
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 03:14 pm: |
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***You need to speak for your damn self TONYA.***
Who the fuck said I was speaking for you???
This ain't "The Kool Room" -- this is 'Race, Culture, and Economy" -- but regardless of where it is, I'll put "we" wherever the fuck I want to.
If you dont like what I put in my post, DON'T READ IT!
I'm not here to please Kola Boof.
***being smart means not adopting an adversarial relationship with the prospect you have your eye on.***
Now, that's what I'm talking about, Cynnique! I can use that kind of advice.
But here's the thing... I ain't got my eye on nil one of them niggas I've been cussing out for the last day or so. Therefore, I'll say it agian:
The ONLY thing a black man IS ABLE to do for me..
is lick the crack of my ass right...
The White Man Is King....
Tonya
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1084
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 03:21 pm: |
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...Oh, and:
...he's been SUPPORTING US (WE, ALL OF US) with our treats thus far.
*WE'll* CONTINUE getting our treats from the TRUE King...
Tonya
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 974
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 03:37 pm: |
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Tonya, your posts are coming off SO PATHETIC.
Since you hate black men so thoroughly and since the White Man is your savior---why are you here vomitting all over the page and acting out Linda Blair from the Exorcist?
Obviously, WHITE MEN are not giving you any treats--queenie.
Or you wouldn't be barking and clawing at everyone like some craven beast.
And what the fuck is this supposed to mean:
he's been SUPPORTING US (WE, ALL OF US) with our treats thus far.
*WE'll* CONTINUE getting our treats from the TRUE King...
Tonya
You sound like Bella Sue Bama. Not just fucked and deserted---but dumb as shit on top of it.
I could agree with your whole spiel if you weren't trying to BIG-up some anonymous group of white men....WHO IF ANYTHING.....exploit our pain and suffering, laugh at our lowliness and FINANCE the music videos, the movies and everything else that black men need in their efforts at erasing us.
You're throwing up signs to MOONSIGNS...but she's got a Black Man and doesn't give a shit about black women's realities---she DENIES almost every experience we have; backs up everything black men tend to do----and occasionally drops in to cheer on your self-destruction. Egging you to hate that which she wants for her damned self.
You really think she tells her black husband any of that shit she fed you?
Sure, there's one or two really great white men who do a lot for black women----but come on...
You're talking about Black men need to WIN SOME WARS...but you're showing that you yourself can't fight worth shit.
You're just a cat without claws and you have NO RIGHT to castigate the man who wrote that letter when you're being the same stubborn goat that he is.
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Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 124
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:14 pm: |
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It makes me so sad to see Tonya act this way. Why have such a nasty attitude? What decent black man would even wanna deal with a black woman like that. And all of you ladies on here wonder why all the good black men are leaving the black community. Please think about this, we are being chased away. How in the hell can Tonya say the white man has been supporting black women, the white man is king and black women will continue getting treats from the white man? The white man don't give a damn about you or any black woman. That is just your excuse to be with a white man. Stop trying to fool yourself. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1085
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:27 pm: |
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Well, you're right about one thing -- I'm no match against you.
So I figured I'd put writer against writer, espcecially since she so eloquently addressed how I feel about you and all the BULLSHIT you just spewed in your last post.
I hope the author of this post doesn't mind me quoting her. I'll take my chances:
***Interesting...but even more so...(and to digress for just a moment)... when certain personalities are suddenly resurfaced their creators should remember the tales and lies that initially went along with them so as not to conflict with the new tales and lies...it reflects badly, not only on the credibility of the post, and the poster, but the entire AALBC site.
Certain posters, comments, and claims are too flagrant to be forgotten...And not all of us have short...or convenient memories... Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:25 am: Babygirl.***
Of course this goes without saying...
I could've said it better myself.
Tonya
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1086
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:29 pm: |
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Oops: I could NOT have said it better myself.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 978
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:36 pm: |
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Tonya,
EXACTLY...and be specific.....what lies have I told?
I would like to hear them.
And unlike that cowardly riddle writer---I just KNOW you're woman enough to talk your shit and reveal what the hell you're speaking of.
So talk it, bitch.
|
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1087
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:51 pm: |
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Let me put it this way...
don't waste your time trying to "school" me.
Unless it's something that I can verify or relate to, I don't believe shit that comes out of your mouth....
So don't waste your time.
PS, I won't be wasting mine.
Tonya |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1088
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 05:07 pm: |
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BLKAMERICANKING,
*WE* DON'T HAVE OUR EYE ON YOU.... GO ON WITH THE WHITE GIRL.
THAT'S A PART OF THE PLAN.
*WE'RE* CLEANING HOUSE.
TONYA |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 982
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 05:17 pm: |
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Tonya, you're too weak to clean house.
If you could clean house, then you wouldn't be running us over like a mad drunk.
And although I would love to back you up---I can't criticize black men and the things they do in one breath and then profess to HATE them and dehumanize them in the next.
My criticism and getting in black men's faces comes from the fact that I love them and want to see them exist...as themselves. I want to see them love, honor and respect US.
I share your same anger and rage---but in your case, it's obvious that it's hurting YOU and not helping you get clarity.
No matter what---I love you so much, because I know your heart and I know your pain.
But you're still weak from the abuses you've suffered. This isn't the right way to fight, sister.
We can't kill the bad ones and give birth to a new son---if we hate black men.
I don't hate black men. I really don't.
But I totally understand why you do.
|
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1089
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 06:22 pm: |
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Please stop putting forth the false claims that I hate black men and that I'm tripping. I think that those who read this entire thread understand where I'm coming from -- and if they don't -- oh, well -- I don't give a fuck. But I don't appreciate your painting me as some nut for your own SELFISH PURPOSES.
And if you're honestly concerned about backing me up.. don't be.. I can handle myself; and I don't mind disagreeing. I've disagreed with Cynnique, Yukio, Rustang, Babygirl, Moonsigns, Yvette, ect., ect.; and sometimes some of us really go at it, as you well know. So disagreeing is part of what we do. And I think we all have a lot of fun doing it.
Lighten up!
Tonya |
Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 414
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 06:38 pm: |
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Kola and tonya fighting, OH NO! O.O!
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 985
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 06:48 pm: |
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I would ask all human beings...to stop what they're doing and PLEASE care about this man's plight:
http://www.thumperscorner.com/discus/messages/2152/8616.html?1134690058
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Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1061
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 06:53 pm: |
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blkAmericanking,
And is there in fault with the black man?...have you not stereotyped black women in your use of "all" etc...? Is it enough for a man to be heterosexual, a non drug user or abuser and a have legal job? Are you serious? |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 989
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 07:06 pm: |
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Well, Roxie, I love Tonya and I hope that she will still be my sister. I think we basically think alike, and I think that's what causes these little tiffs.
We might be too much alike.
She's feeling like I did back when this shit first started.
I think I'm about 10 years older than her, so I've had more time than her to sort out some deep hurts and betrayals. I think Tonya's wounds are fresher...and so she lashes out, because she's in pain RIGHT NOW, and like me, she doesn't give a fuck what anybody thinks about how she expresses herself.
I understand. But it's still not helping to prove our point when we go THAT FAR. It sort of proves the other guy's point.
Anyway, you know I love that old heffa with her crazy behind.
I really don't dislike anyone here. And I just sometimes WISH that I had used my writing talent to get rich off people....instead of taking the risks I have...to SPEAK OUT for what I believe.
People like Babygirl who constantly despise and attack me seem to ignore that if I was who they say I am....I could easily just write Terry McMillan and ZANE-like books and leave the "activism" on the doorstep.
I've been offered and turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars....because I can't sell out what I feel I was sent here to do.
I don't see anybody else DOING...what I'm doing.
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Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 125
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 01:27 am: |
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Tonya,
You seem like you have been hurt by black men in the past and if that's the case I feel real bad and wanna apologize for those brothas who hurt you. And i am not the type of brotha who is into white women. I LOVE my black women.
Yukio,
Of course black men have their faults. But i was trying to explain why good black men are into other women. I am not afraid to admit that black men and black women have some very serious faults. We cannot continue to point the finger at each other. I honestly feel it's gonna take good, strong black men to raise black boys to be men and respect women and protect them, to make our communites safe and to build a strong black unit. There are still a lot of good black men like myself who are loking for a good black woman and not women of other races. Good black women must give us a chance and we won't have to turn to women of other races. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1066
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 09:49 am: |
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It seems to me that many of the qualities that Short identified are stereotypes, plain and simple. If they are indeed stereotypes and African American women are more complex then, it seems to me that these issues have more to do with basic male and female issues not "ethnicity" and that culturally speaking, some African American men have failed to adapt to the recent transformation of African American women.
I had said this...maybe 3yrs ago.
It seems to me that black men still want to be the traditional patriarchial man...and that notion of manhood is dead and gone. Also, many black women play as much as men have played, so that some women need to settle down...like men have "settled down." In other words, and actually this has been going on for generations, some black women don't believe that they are less women because they are single...they don't equate a relationship with a romantic relationship...instead, they are running the streets like we have for generations...lmao! They look more like us, thus they can not be tamed and many brothers are mad, disappointed, and angry, when they still doing the same thing...! |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1092
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:52 am: |
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Blkamericanking,
We like a lot of what you say. We don't appreciate the ultimatum, though.
In fact, we despise it.. will cut your dick smooth the fuck off because of it.... Other than that, you're alright -- a little old fashion -- but okay.. doable.
Now, let me let you brothas get back to your conversation....
It seems there's a lot you two can teach each other.
Tonya |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1068
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 12:40 pm: |
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Tonya:
Hmmmmm.....I doubt it. Unfortunate or not, I am an old dog; too late to learn new tricks... |
Stephgirl
Newbie Poster
Username: Stephgirl
Post Number: 19
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 12:50 pm: |
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*I've seen Asian women who call their half-black children "niggers" and abandon them. I have a black man friend right now who was abandonded with his two half-Korean sons.
Yeah, those are the same women who would worship their half Asian/white children and let the whole wide world know about it.
Stephanie |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1096
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 01:28 pm: |
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Yukio said:
I doubt it. Unfortunate or not, I am an old dog; too late to learn new tricks...
Tonya says:
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, YUKIO!
(Geez! ..Try ta do the diplomatic thing and ya still can't win!)
Tonya |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1070
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 01:32 pm: |
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hmmm....do I? diplomatic, eh? Are you ok? Is the weather in philly getin to ya?
Take care, bundle up, drink some tea...and be well! |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1099
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 03:29 pm: |
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It's a block of ice out that summbitch!
If I wadn't afraid of gettin drunk, I'd put some brandy up in this hurr nog.
Tonya |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1100
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 03:31 pm: |
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Thanks for the well wishes. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1071
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 03:56 am: |
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of course, we all kin after all! |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 3
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 04:51 pm: |
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"Who the fuck said I was speaking for you???
This ain't "The Kool Room" -- this is 'Race, Culture, and Economy" -- but regardless of where it is, I'll put "we" wherever the fuck I want to.
If you dont like what I put in my post, DON'T READ IT!
I'm not here to please Kola Boof."
Tonya's a fucking asshole, but in reality probably a virgin in her mid-forties who couldn't get a decent man even if she smeared herself in honey and kicked a bear in the ass. |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 4
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 04:58 pm: |
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It seems to me that black men still want to be the traditional patriarchial man...and that notion of manhood is dead and gone. Also, many black women play as much as men have played, so that some women need to settle down...like men have "settled down." In other words, and actually this has been going on for generations, some black women don't believe that they are less women because they are single...they don't equate a relationship with a romantic relationship...instead, they are running the streets like we have for generations...lmao! They look more like us, thus they can not be tamed and many brothers are mad, disappointed, and angry, when they still doing the same thing...!
Bullshit.
Most of the men that black women run around with are macho, domineering thugs, and if that is what so many of you want, this is what you'll get. It isn't patriarchy; you don't even know what that is! |
Ntfs_encryption
Regular Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 33
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 10:31 pm: |
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“Most of the men that black women run around with are macho, domineering thugs, and if that is what so many of you want, this is what you'll get. It isn't patriarchy; you don't even know what that is!”
And there ya have it. Unfortunately, I see this thing all the time. It is a tragic and very sad behavioral phenomena that I simply cannot understand. There are a number of black women who put themselves at risk everyday by consciously making decisions to enter into relationships with men who are thugs, playa’s, ex-cons, professional liars and text book knuckleheads. I have no idea why some black women degrade themselves and subject themselves to harm by willingly entering into relationships with thugs who make no pretenses about themselves or their openly negative lifestyles. So, who really is the victim? When you end up with two, three, four or five children with a man who will not marry you (and never had any intentions of doing so), who are you going to blame? When these men continually lie, disappoint and sexually cheat with numerous other women, why do the women who choose them as mates, respond with dire shock, anger and bitterness? THEY KNEW WHAT THESE MEN WERE ABOUT BEFORE THEY GAVE THEMSELVES TO THEM! But yet they seem defenseless to the lure of the “Bad Boy” image. And why would someone consider these women victims when they know what they are entering into?
If anyone has taken the time to notice, brothers who fancy themselves as wannabe players, pimps, thugs and generic ladies men, etc, are never by themselves. THEY ALWAYS HAVE WOMEN (PLURAL –NOT A WOMAN) IN THEIR LIVES WITH NEVER ENDING BABY MAMA DRAMA AND WOMEN FIGHTING AND SHAMELESSLY DEGRADING THEMSELVES FOR RIGHTS TO THESE KNUCKLE HEADS!! Can anyone explain this? I personally have yet to understand it.
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Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 5
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 11:41 pm: |
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"If anyone has taken the time to notice, brothers who fancy themselves as wannabe players, pimps, thugs and generic ladies men, etc, are never by themselves. THEY ALWAYS HAVE WOMEN (PLURAL –NOT A WOMAN) IN THEIR LIVES WITH NEVER ENDING BABY MAMA DRAMA AND WOMEN FIGHTING AND SHAMELESSLY DEGRADING THEMSELVES FOR RIGHTS TO THESE KNUCKLE HEADS!! Can anyone explain this? I personally have yet to understand it."
They're retarded.
That's all I can tell you as of this moment. |
Ntfs_encryption
Regular Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 34
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 11:47 pm: |
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“Most of the men that black women run around with are macho, domineering thugs, and if that is what so many of you want, this is what you'll get. It isn't patriarchy; you don't even know what that is!”
And there ya have it. Unfortunately, I see this type of thing all the time. It is a tragic and sad behavioral phenomena that I simply cannot understand. There are a number of black women who put themselves at risk everyday by consciously making decisions to enter into relationships with men who are thugs, drug dealers, playa’s, ex-cons, professional liars and text book knuckleheads. I have no idea why some black women degrade themselves and subject themselves to harm by willingly entering into relationships with thugs who make no pretenses about themselves or their openly negative lifestyles. So, who really is the victim? When you end up with two, three, four or five children with a man who will not marry you (and never had any intentions of doing so), who are you going to blame? When these men continually lie, disappoint and sexually cheat with numerous other women, why do the women who choose them as mates, respond with dire shock, anger and bitterness? THEY KNEW WHAT THESE MEN WERE ABOUT BEFORE THEY GAVE THEMSELVES TO THEM! But yet they seem defenseless to the lure of the “Bad Boy” image. And why would someone consider these women victims when they know what they are entering into?
If anyone has taken the time to notice, brothers who fancy themselves as wannabe players, pimps, thugs and generic ladies men, etc, are never by themselves. THEY ALWAYS HAVE WOMEN (PLURAL –NOT A WOMAN) IN THEIR LIVES WITH NEVER ENDING BABY MAMA DRAMA AND WOMEN FIGHTING AND SHAMELESSLY DEGRADING THEMSELVES FOR RIGHTS TO THESE KNUCKLE HEADS!! Can anyone explain this? I personally have yet to understand it.
And I have noticed that many of the readers of the original post seem to be fighting with one another rather than discussing the “merits” or “fallacies’ of the reasoning the brother gave who dismissed black American women. I’m sure his words offended most of the black women readers on this board (which is understandable). But can you deny the fact the experiences he spoke of never happened? As harsh and offensive as his descriptions were of black American women, can you prove he never experienced those unfortunate encounters with black American women? What happened to him may be his reality and not yours. Just like a number of angry and acerbic comments were made about black men in this ongoing post reflect the experiences and mindset of the individuals who wrote them. I’m not suggesting that the readers embrace and high five the brother for what he wrote, because it certainly wasn’t flattering. But it is his reality like it or not.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1117
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 5 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 12:38 am: |
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***But yet they seem defenseless to the lure of the “Bad Boy” image.***
There you go! The “Bad Boy” image... which happens to be the same image that allures a good percentage of women from any given racial group....
So, why are we acting like black women are the exception to the rule?
Besides.. wouldn't it be more productive to try to figure out why, according to a 1990 survey, on any given day, one in every four black men age 20 to 29 was either in prison, jail, or on probation/parole? And wouldn't we be better served if we undertood why, for so many black men, black male masculinity (one's "manhood") seems to rely heavily on violence and hyper-sexuality, in order to thrive and/or survive?
Because if we paid more attention to addressing those two concerns, maybe some of you ignorant ass niggaz on this thread would realize the real problem:
There's TOO MANY thugs, playa’s, ex-cons, and professional liars for Sistahs to choose from; AND NOT ENOUGH DECENT BLACK MEN.
Tonya |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 6
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 11:37 am: |
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"There's TOO MANY thugs, playa’s, ex-cons, and professional liars for Sistahs to choose from; AND NOT ENOUGH DECENT BLACK MEN."
Bullshit. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1077
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 04:45 pm: |
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Schakspir:
What exactly was "bullshit" in my post?
From your post, what you stated seems to have nothing to do with my post. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1078
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 08:06 pm: |
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It seems to me that both black men and black women have been severely stereotyped, such that it seems that there are no available, like brothers and sisters out there.
I dont think it is as bad as it seems; I really think some folk need to ask themselves questions. It is clear that Short has issues; he needs to think himself cause his soul is not in the right place.
There is no doubt that there are too many of us imprisoned...no doubt about that.
But, I think along with that issue, we are having too many child and we ourselves are children...this is well known, but these young folk-men and women--don't know how to interact, except sexually, and they produce children who, unfortunately, only know the same...so that as men and women we need to get ourselves together, to reclaim our families, and communities...this is what Bill said, but it is no wants fault if they don't know how better to do it!
If this is the case, then we have grown men and women behaving like children...this is only part of the story.
Also, I think there are folk who have happy marriages, good solid relationships, people who break up and still have had good relationships...it just didn't work out...we need to think about these folk...there are i think people here, on this very site, whom are married and are happy...people here who are in good, solid relationships, right?
An other variable...folk in the past if they got married, they weren't tryin to divorce; they worked it out; or they remained in the marriage, unhappily but with some understanding...now, folk aren't tryin to hear that and they're out...lets speak the truth... |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 295
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 08:13 pm: |
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You forget that so many women grow up without fathers, and without seeing their mothers with a husband, and may be in "a bad man is better than no man" mode. People in the 90's and 2000's were children in the 70's and 80's, when all of this stuff got out of hand with welfare, etc.
I'm 31, and of myself, my sister, and all my female cousins (8 of us in total), only 2 of us are married, but six have children. Only 3 of us grew up with a father. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1080
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 08:36 pm: |
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Renata:
Yes....I am also 30sumthing...I have not forgotten, but forgotten to mention this. You are quite right! I hear you...And I have a similar upbringing...actually, the majority of my father figures have been teachers or the like, and I have no idea what my sisters' model of a man, father, etc... came from...because we didn't have a man in the house and since they're older we never even had those types of discussions (we argued about if I would watch cartoons and if they would get to see Geneal Hospital...lmao). I'll have to ask...I also moved alot...from different throughout NYC before I found some stability (around 13 yrs old) in the Bronx and even there, I was raised by an elderly women (Cynique...this is, perhaps, why I have an old soul..perhaps?)
Now, I don't mean to be nosy, but, to be clear, what are you saying about your these stats (2 married, six have children, and three with fathers)? I don't want to assume!
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Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 7
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 09:32 pm: |
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"What exactly was "bullshit" in my post?"
Re-read my post and you'll find out.
Intelligent, non-thuggish black men such as ourselves keep scratching our heads and wondering why so many black women keep on pursuing the worst men possible. But then again, what can I say? Nobody listens to us, and few people on this board (as Cynique rightfully pointed out)took the time to find the obvious truths in the Hilltop article--they just had typical knee-jerk responses to what he had to say and in doing so, corroborated everything that Randy Short said. |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 296
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 10:37 pm: |
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myself and one cousin are married, six of us have children (myself included), and only 3 of us grew up with our father. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1081
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 02:02 am: |
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Schakspir:
Ok. So you are saying, in a round about way, that these men are not patriarchs but "macho, domineering thugs." Interesting...but this doesn't change my point, which was men what women to cook, clean, etc...
Sisters may do it, but it certainly isn't a staple of their womanhood. Similarly, a would love to be wined and dined, but if that doesn't have, for many not all, it doesn't mean that you are less of a man; some will even prefer that you go dutch...a close friend of mine will not allow a date to pick her up...only have a few dates...and IF she lets him pay, she always has her own money...
I don't scratch my head and wonder why so many black women keep on pursuing the worst men possible. This is not new. It is as old has humanity.
I thought the article was overstated, self-indulgent, elitist, and poorly written, by the by. This doesn't mean that there wasn't truth in it. Yet, as a piece of writing, as a document of persuation, his points, logic, and reasoning were off. I am a single heterosexual black man...no drugs, no criminal record, etc...I hope to find love one day, so his article should have an immediate allure...
It doesn't!
I am not persuaded; he seems unfair, etc...I don't trust him; he doesn't seem reasonable. He, however, as I read it, sounds like a cat with an advanced degree who is neither cute nor very objective. He sounds angry...damaged.
Renata: I got that part.
I was wondering, and here goes my presumption, are you suggesting that the others have children but no husbands because they themselves had no father in their lives, and therefore, they are responsible for the absence of their children's father in their lives?
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Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1082
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 02:05 am: |
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Interesting...but this doesn't change my point, which was about how men want women to cook, clean, etc...they want traditional domesticate women and they want to be the traditional man...well, not really...they want the half-ass traditional man...the kind that doesn't pay bills nor is responsible for "protecting" his women financially. |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 8
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 12:05 pm: |
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Yukio, you say he sounds angry and damaged. Ever wonder why? I'm sure he has a reason(as some women have obvious reasons as to why they are so bitter).
Patriarchy is something entirely different. Nobody forced these black women into accepting these crappy men(which is what more or less happens in real patriarchies). In real patriarchies, women have very few, if any, say in whom they can see--and usually, there are no relationship options outside matrimony. American women, Western women, have choices. Unfortunately they are too obsessed with Hollywood fantasies about certain kinds of men and very frequently wind up disappointed when reality does not size up to the fantasy--which actually may be a real source of some black women's bitterness towards men.
Having been to genuinely patriarchal countries such as Egypt, Turkey, Greece, etc., I can tell you that women in these countries rarely go out without a chaperone, that dating is often unheard of, and that if she were to even consider losing her virginity before marriage or cheating on her husband, she would be murdered("honor killings")and the courts would treat the matter leniently. A far less extreme form of this thing exists in Malta, Sicily, Mexico, Southeast Asia, etc., but it is there. For an American woman, hung up on loud-mouthed jocks, ballers, pimps, tough guys, cowboys, Hollywood hunks and other kinds of despicable assholes, the situation is simply not the same, and it in fact is an insult to women who have to suffer purdah or infibulation or forced veilings or bride burnings or stonings or gang-rapes in real patriarchies to compare American women's somewhat trivial concerns to theirs.
BTW in traditional countries in Africa, women did not seek out the worst men because they were generally sought for them, if patriarchal. Even today, in most countres, bad boys are seen as scum and no self-respecting African or Asian woman would be caught dead with one. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1087
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 01:11 pm: |
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I'm sure he has his reasons, but his reply was also angry...it had no insight.
We are talking different though related categories...you are talking about "crappy men" and I am talking about men in general, even the socalled intellectual, non-thug black man like yourself.
This is why I didn't see the relationship between our posts...
What you call patriarchy..in description and country identification...I call traditional patriarchy. This country, the US, and western societies are still patriarchical...less so that those you mention but still patriarchical, so it is a question of degree not kind.
The women's movement still exists for a reason, no? What you describe is the extreme, I think.
When a man opens a door for a women that is patriarchy in all of its subtlety.
Let us not forget...women in the older patriarchial societies embrace it and see nothing wrong with it, and would defend it as better than what does on here...but there are many African women I know how will tell you in a minute that while they love their culture there are things here that they could never do....so it goes both ways...for those you in a particular social system there is always good and bad....
Here, a sister will want you to open the door but she may not cook you meal...in many cases, she can't cook...lmao! A sister will want you to direct--to take over without prior conversation--but if you tell her not to wear something she will look at you like you are crazy...lmao! While this is quite different than women in turkey, eqypt, etc...men still have certain expectations, whether they are thugs or the intellectual types (though can be both). |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1088
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 01:14 pm: |
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Let us not forget...women in the older patriarchial societies embrace it and see nothing wrong with it, and would defend it as better than what does on here...but there are many African women I know who will tell you in a minute that while they love their culture there are things here that they could never do in Africa....so it goes both ways...there is always good and bad in a social system....
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1122
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 01:55 pm: |
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***Unfortunately they are too obsessed with Hollywood fantasies about certain kinds of men and very frequently wind up disappointed when reality does not size up to the fantasy--which actually may be a real source of some black women's bitterness towards men.***
Oh my god! This could have been written, word for word, by any random AMERICAN woman - Black, white, Asian, and Hispanic alike - about AMERICAN men in general. This is why I don't understand why you, this author, Encription and blackking keep acting as if ANY OF THIS is a black female phenomenon...
(???).
It's obvious that what you and this author are talking about is completely CULTURAL, INTERNATIONAL AT THAT. So why are BLACK women AND BLACK WOMEN ALONE the "chickenheads?" And why are we "bitter" when we DEFEND OURSELVES, and point out how foolish you all sound?
Tonya
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Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1094
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 03:41 pm: |
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tonya...points. may I add...that short's article should be understood within the context in which he put it...international...the women he compared African American to live in poor countries and probably saw him as an American first...better yet a US citizen first...someone with better resources than themselves...this, of course, is not to say that brasilian sisters are just selling themselves because they want access to this country, but that this practice of seeing black Americans as Americans--their nationality and all the resources which it entails--is a factor....but he is too stupid and too Euroamerican centric to see this...
Black Americans forget that they are indeed Americans-as it pertains to this question of formal citizenship--in the eyes of others. It is a quite complicated situation...this too I think should be part of Nels' thread, btw. |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 299
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 03:50 pm: |
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Yukio, what I was pointing out was that for too many black American women, not having a husband or father is NORMAL, and when they find one there is no model for them to compare and know if a particular man is good or not. For a lot of women, a man who is THERE is proof enough that he's "good", whether or not he beats them, cheats, has a job, etc. He's there so he cares.
When I was younger, I've lived in neighborhoods where the only husbands/boyfriends around were cheats, gangsters, drug dealers, but that was in comparison to other households where there were NO men at all over 20. To far too many women, this is normal. |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 9
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 04:35 pm: |
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"Here, a sister will want you to open the door but she may not cook you meal...in many cases, she can't cook...lmao! A sister will want you to direct--to take over without prior conversation--but if you tell her not to wear something she will look at you like you are crazy...lmao!"
You're generalizing. There are plenty of men who can cook their own meals, and prefer it that way. And not surprisingly, there ARE women who actually don't mind cooking a meal for another man, so keep that in mind. Some women don't mind being housewives. Is there something wrong with THAT? |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 10
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 04:38 pm: |
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"better yet a US citizen first...someone with better resources than themselves...this, of course, is not to say that brasilian sisters are just selling themselves because they want access to this country, but that this practice of seeing black Americans as Americans--their nationality and all the resources which it entails--is a factor....but he is too stupid and too Euroamerican centric to see this..."
Not necessarily true. In Europe, where the standard of living is often superior to that of the US, black American men find it a lot easier than they do back home. |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 300
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 05:00 pm: |
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Won't cook, can't cook?
Makes me wonder where the hell he's looking for these "ladies".
EVERY woman I know has been cooking since age 9 or so. And not french fries and popcorn, but cornbread, collard greens (some like turnip), sweet potatoes, the good stuff.
European standards may be superior to the US, but more often, they want to move HERE and become citizens, not often the other way around. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1098
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 07:06 pm: |
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Schakspir...of course what I have said are generalizations...is there anything else that we can do here? Unless, we are talking about "facts," as it regards dates, times, individuals, etc...we are all generalizing. The question is, does what I say have any validity, is it of any value? It is also an issue of, as you suggest, if there are alternative positions. BUt then the question is, since there always alternatives, if that alternative (a) delegitimizes my position and/ or (b) adds to it my position (of course are more variables).
What you have said (1)that plenty of men can cook and (2) that there are women who can cook are true but they add (b) but do not deligitmize (a)my point. You are right, but never the less many men have these expectations that I have delineated.
I cook, as a matter of fact; I haven't had the problems that some brothers have had with many sisters, at least not to the same extent.
Again, you may be correct that socalled black American men find it alot easier than they do in Europe...I wouldn't know. This, again, doesn't mean that my point has no merit.
Right Renata...the US, presently at least, is the hegemon not Europe...this is why they have tried to Continentalize their money and government relations...thus living standards is one thing...but power, my friend, and resources is another...it is funny a harvard degree is not comparable to an oxford degree...but the oxdord alum would prefer to teach here, unless of course, she can get a gig at oxford... |
Stephgirl
Newbie Poster
Username: Stephgirl
Post Number: 22
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 07:40 pm: |
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Obviously, WHITE MEN are not giving you any treats--queenie.
AMEN, KOLA! WHATEVER TREATS WHITE MEN HAVE ARE GOING TO WHITE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE, NOT YOU OR ANY OTHER BLACK WOMEN. SORRY!
STEPHANIE |
Schakspir
Newbie Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 11
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 07:51 pm: |
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"European standards may be superior to the US, but more often, they want to move HERE and become citizens, not often the other way around."
Those that seriously want to move to the US nowadays are either from poorer countries in Eastern Europe or misinformed about how great the US supposedly is. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1100
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2005 - 12:55 am: |
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Schakspir...you, i think confuse, the standard of living with the symbolic and material sense that the US represents...if u want to be a movie star....u come here; if you want to be a great artist u must come here...it is not purely economic... |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1134
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2005 - 04:31 pm: |
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Kola:
Obviously, WHITE MEN are not giving you any treats--queenie.
Stephanie:
AMEN, KOLA! WHATEVER TREATS WHITE MEN HAVE ARE GOING TO WHITE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE, NOT YOU OR ANY OTHER BLACK WOMEN. SORRY!
Tonya:
Well, Stephanie.. Only black women who are drooling at the thought of becoming some white man's bitch would take my expression literally..
which is why I didn't answer Kola's inaccurate account in the first place..
(she's my girl)..
but I could not at all resist anwering you. SORRY!
Tonya |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1135
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2005 - 06:02 pm: |
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BTW, if a white man was what I wanted, I'd be married twice over. The funny thing is, those of us (black women) who REFUSE TO SETTLE for anything other than a black man are the ones who have all the opportunity in the world to have and be married to white ones. And those black women who don't have these opportunities constantly dream of having them.. yet, oftentimes, they are the ones with all the *GOOD* black men. Why won't the tables turn?
Tonya |
Diamondeyz
First Time Poster
Username: Diamondeyz
Post Number: 1
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 06:20 pm: |
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im sorry and please dont hate me for what im about to say... I am a black woman and I can go to any hood right now and find about 5 black women that fit the profile that he is complaining about... all of us black women know other black women who fit the profile.. we cannot deny whats being said... wether or brothas are saying it or its other black women that are saying it, bottom line is we need to wake up as black women and get our strength back... the black woman of today is not the black woman who stood right by her mans side screaming "revolution"... I may be to young to have experienced those times but I know that we have changed...
so dont get too upset at the brothas for what they are saying.. just pay attention to whats being said... some of it is true and im sorry to admit that...
it still doesnt give that black man the right to act like a white racists bigot against his own women... somethings he was saying made me question whether or not he was a real black man and not a white man "fronting"... |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1005
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 09:07 pm: |
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the black woman of today is not the black woman who stood right by her mans side screaming "revolution"...
And the Black MAN of today is not Malcolm X or any other man who's about revolution for black people....is he?
And I'm damned sure that Black women would LOOOOOOVE to scream "Revolution"----if they had men that were ABOUT something.
And the fact remains....no matter how sweet a black woman is, no matter how good she cooks, how loving and supporting.....
....a great MANY of Black men TODAY (the loud ones who make themselves heard) wouldn't give a Black woman WHO LOOKS BLACK....anything more than a stiff dick and a kiss off. It has nothing to do with her personality and MORE TO DO with the fact that she's "black" or "too black" and doesn't look like a video hoochie.
Let's stop dismissing that FACT.
I mean after all....what kind of BLACK woman has "diamond eyes"?
I belong to several black women's groups and NONE of the women I know fit the stereotypes that were listed above.
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 304
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 10:32 pm: |
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Yeah, Diamond, go to any hood (or non-hood for that matter) and find 5 women like that....then consider how many women overall live in that community. Unless on 6 women live in those neighborhoods, I still don't see how that stereotype proves his point that black women OVERALL aren't worth loving.
You also forget, those women stood at their man's SIDE and screamed revolution. Those men were LEADERS, took care of their children, and didn't cheat around looking for a woman with a bigger welfare check than his last baby mama. |
Blkamericanking
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Blkamericanking
Post Number: 126
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 24, 2005 - 01:38 am: |
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Diamond,
Thank you for being honest sista. It's about time black women admit the truth. I wish there were more black women like you. God bless you. |
Yukio
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yukio
Post Number: 1116
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 24, 2005 - 01:53 am: |
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Renata...I agree with the first part, which is Diamond is making the exception the rule....five out of how many? I agree...but King and others were not loyal...especially the black power cadre...i do believe that women have changed...but there have always been chicken heads...and will always be! Black women, like black people or people for that matter, represent the range of personalities...this is what is missing in the article. |
Nels
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 193
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 24, 2005 - 03:04 am: |
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Diamond --
"it still doesnt give that black man the right to act like a white racists bigot against his own women... somethings he was saying made me question whether or not he was a real black man and not a white man "fronting"... "
Hmmmm. Many "black" men have said many times over that it's the (attitude of black women) that preceeds the presence of their encounter with black women, which gives them (i.e., black men) cause for pause. If attitude were not a factor in that perspective, then (in your opinion) in which direction would or should the "blame" (if any) be directed? |
Ntfs_encryption
Regular Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 39
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 31, 2005 - 06:33 am: |
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Renata wrote: "When I was younger, I've lived in neighborhoods where the only husbands/boyfriends around were cheats, gangsters, drug dealers, but that was in comparison to other households where there were NO men at all over 20. To far too many women, this is normal."
Interesting observation. I talked to a black female friend of mine yesterday who has two daughters ages 18 and 19. She almost recanted the same words verbatim. She is very concerned about her daughters future and prospects with a decent and available black men. If both women have identical experiences, how many other black women are facing this depressing situation? What are black women as a group doing to address this seemingly pandemic tragedy? And why is that so many vulgar thuggish knuckleheads always have so many willing women (they have total knowledge of these black men’s toxic lifestyles) in their lives? |
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