| Author | Message | ||
     Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
Greetings.. I'm still pretty much new around these parts, but I came across this site while trying to find "Two Thousand Seasons". By the way, if anyone knows where I can get it in less than "4-6" weeks (as it is now out of print), please let me know.. I'll share a few pieces with you and if you'd like, you can tell me what you thought? I'm not afraid of Truth, so I'll remain receptive, as it can only help me to grow as an artist and as an individual as well.. Thanks. | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
"Greatness" Beautifulwaterstar (2001) In the absence of the light, She stood silently behind the busy army of effervescence Watching the others come and go, she stood still and ever so silently Still, Woven in the great web of blackness, Surrounded by the profound silence, She stood undisturbed and untested... I had forgotten so much- My power My strength My beauty My wisdom My magic My sacredness But a still, strong voice reverberated in my bones and the depth of my being, saying "I am the way, the truth, and the light." I looked up and behold, Accentuated by the still endless darkness was the way, the truth, and the light! I bled! Gradually, I began to regain my memory. It was becoming more and more clear. Remembering the origin of The Creation, Overstanding that I am but a microcosm of Her Beingness, I Bled! Holding the metal in the palms of my hands, I lifted it to her so that I might remember more. She shed and I bled... She shed as I shed.. I remembered. I rembered! I REMEMBERED! I remembered What I am Who I am Then, I remembered that I AM. Yes, simply but most significantly, I AM!... In the absence of the light, I stood behind the busy bubbles... Watching the others come and go, I stood still and so silently. Interwoven in the great web of my perfect blackness, Surrounded by the profound silence, Not at all to suggest that I am immobile. You see, I am still but there is motion in my stillness The bubbles, They are busy But they are not really moving... She is Mother And I am Mother, The mother of motion Receptive Not to be confused with "crippled" or "submissive", even I am still and steady, I am the mother of motion in its greatness I Am... ACHE I AM!!!! NOTE: I was inspired to write this after coming home from grocery shopping one night.. I looked up at the sky and it was like,"WOW! Mother Moon is really doin' her thang!" lol Anyway, this poem was a tribute to our feminine energy, a tribute to being a microcosm of the macrocosm.. | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
"I Analyze 2001" Beautifulwaterstar (2001) Government officials Continue to do double loops around the issues, As if they are chasin' infinity.. In a society where cowards pass as men, as capital is too often equated with masculinity, The hearts behind the personalities ain't never what they pretend to be Yet to imply otherwise, They hide behind their religion in their suits and ties But if you pay attention, you can see the truth in lies However you are labeled a "terrorist" when U scrutinize the government and all it's about I guess a "good citizen" believes everything that comes out of a liar's mouth As long as that liar has political clout In this land of lies, Everytime I turn on the news, I just scan 'da lies But the majority of us become tantalized And all I can do is analyze. Here's one! In the year 2001, If you REALLY wanna come across like you care, Just recite the 23rd Psalm and you'll pretty much fool all of 'em out there. Better yet, If you REALLY wanna see how STUPID "Americans" are, check this Plot the unthinkable pot and make everyone believe that the usual suspect is #1 on your checklist Yeah.. Create your own crisis And then you'll look like the hero when it's all done And the war is won Plus it will help you boost the economy you know it's really been in trouble this year And that's right! The best time to smoothly insert control is HERE; When the people are in fear; Telling them it's for their own good at a time like this and they will believe it Tell them you want them to unite to achieve a common goal and they will blindly attempt to help you achieve it. Ya, Phil said it would lead to this Ask The Trilateral Commission to explain and they will plead the fifth Or maybe the psychopaths Will tell you that they are good willed individuals, That plan to make the world indivisible One World Nation Under The Elite. Woops, I meant "God".. | ||
| Rondall Rating: N/A |
Beautifulwaterstar, First of all, thank you so much for putting your work out here. MUCH LOVE TO YA!!! Now to your poems... "Greatness" - It was verbose at times but illuminating. I wondered how in depth you would go with the spiritual flavor. That was an interesting allusion to your relationship to nature and the universe. You have no physical contact with it, but yet you depicted an ethereal connection none the less. Your piece had more of prose feel to it, rather a free standing poem. Actually it fluctuate in and out. Is this one of your earlier poems? And onwards to : "I Analyze 2001" I like this one. With some editting you could hit the stage in a SLAM competition with this. It was stioc in the sense of cynicism with out being trite. Your poems strike me as written by someone with a strong root in Biblical teachings which appear intertwined in these poems. I hope you have continued to write and grow with your experiences. And by all means Beautifulwaterstar give us more!!! Rondall | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
Good morning, Rondall. First of all, thank YOU, Bro. :-) I really, really appreciate your taking the time to read some of my work and giving me such valuble information. (Thank you.) Hmm.. Well before I begin to comment more specifically on 'your' comments, let me make it known that creative writing is something that I do primarily out of passion/purpose. I meaned I learned some stuff in highschool as far as different forms and such, but outside of that, I really have no formal training in it or anything.. I simply write what I feel and aim to heal/uplift our people through what I write. Also, the way I write is a reflection of my personality.. I am a person of structure almost only when necessary and I feel to do what I feel via my spirit.. With this said, I might start off rhyming and then rhyming very little or not at all. I might start off with free verse and then rhyme with precision in the middle and make the end something that seems totally on some next tip. LOL So for the most part, it's really based on what I feel, yanno? In addition to this, when I write, it's just like I am freestyling on paper. I don't even really 'think' about what I write too much; it just flows from my spirit/mind to my paper and most of my poems are done within a matter of minutes. When they are done, they are mostly done. I don't really edit them too tough, because I like them to remain as true as that particular moment (and not the next or another) as they possibly can. What I "do" do, however, is take feedback, grow from it and strive to incorporate it into the pieces that follow. Mmkay.. Now (that I have explained all that other stuff), on to your much appreciated comments. "Greatness" is one I wrote a couple of years ago. I just came in from shopping and was so inspired by the moon's beauty until left the bags right there and found the closest thing I could find to write on to express it. LOL "I Analyze: 2001" is actually the second poem in my "I Analyze" collection. :-) The first one was written about 6 years ago, (18 yrs), and when the whole 9/11 stuff went down, I just had to write about all the senselessness (um is that a word? lol), U know? Strong root in the Biblical teachings? Why yes, for I am a happy heathen with a 'Christian' upbrining. :p I am very thankful for my foundation, but as I grew into myself, I simply realized that not everyone has the same path and so I broke away from 'religion' and embraced the wholeness of "Truth". Well listen; I have got to get off this thing right NOW, but I just really want to say thank you so very much for reading my work and helping me to grow. I can't even express how much I appreciate your taking the time to do that, because you have really put just another stepping stone in my path. Thank you. | ||
| ABM Rating: N/A |
Beautifulwaterstar, I appreciate and enjoy your poems. And look forward to reading more of them. I typically do not judge/criticize poems because they are usually so intimate/personal that I don't think that I can reasonably and fairly assess them. So, I just either like what I read or I don't. But I am curious about something you said. What do you mean by, "I broke away from 'religion' and embraced the wholeness of 'Truth'"? | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
Wutzup, ABM? Dang, I am REALLY enjoying this BOARD! I am just going over some of the topics and all I can think is,"This is so beautiful!" Okay. Anyway.. When I said,"I broke away from 'religion' and embraced the wholeness of 'Truth', I was first of all saying that I found that religion was not for 'me'.. U know how your grandparents will do stuff because your great grandparents did it and your parents will do stuff because 'their' parents did it and their children will do stuff because 'their' parents did it? Well (and not to say this in a totally discrediting way or anything, but) that's how "religion" was with me. Now while I 'do' believe that there is much truth in the Bible, the Quaraan, the Kaballah, or Christianity, Islam, Judism, etc. etc., I came to realize (for "myself") that Life is so big.. Truth is so big... Why should the whole of it be limited to one specific book? In realizing this, I just felt it would be better for 'me' to just remain receptive to Truth at all times, instead of stunting my growth by only perceiving Truth to be in one single set of Man's interpretations, yanno? Basically, I try to see the whole picture instead of just parts of that whole picture and this is what I meant by breaking away from ('following)'religon' (parts) and embracing (staying receptive to) the wholeness of 'Truth' (the whole).. Also, I'm very glad you were able to feel a piece of my spirit and enjoy doing so. Thank you. I also feel what you are saying about not judging/criticizing them because of their intimacy/authors's connection and such also. If you feel there's something to help me improve, though, please never hesitate to let it on out. :-) Thank you so much again.. | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
"Space Age Junkie" Beautifulwaterstar 2002 I'm a space age junkie, Walking through the twilight... Stumbling on my own existence... Just waiting Hoping "Praying" To die... Just praying to die... I need my fix Gotta have my fix But it don't never "fix" me, so I don't know why... "Stand in line! Stand in line! Get your fix!" Get your fix and die! Get your fix and die... My fix nauseates me Makes me feel dead But I only wish I were... I wanna be free... Just let me be free... Tracks in my arms, All ripe and ready for the next fix But what does it really mean? I'm a virtual vegetable, a zombie of some sort 'Been so long since I've been clean... They just won't let me go; I wanna go Please just let me Please just let me go... Can't take the suffering... Can't take the pain.. My fix may be sustaining me, but it is killing me all the same... Can't do much Can't do much but sleepwalk through my life Why won't you just let me be free? Is it love? Is it the virtue of selfishness? What about me? I'm bald, I'm hurting,I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone But you just won't You just won't let me move on... I wanna be free. Please let me be free.. Just leave me be and let me be free... I'm a fiend A succubus A junkie A junkie A junkie Tremblin' Shakin' Quiverin' VANISHING! I'm vanishing... Don't save me I don't wanna be saved I just wanna be free... So let me be free... Cords never made The Breath Of Life Don't you see it leaving me? Why do you stop it? Let it be? Just let it be... Can't you see? I just I just wanna be free... Don't know what's worse; this illness or my fix My fix is killin' me It's killin' me It's making me suffer I don't wanna suffer I don't wanna be killed, I just wanna be free... Let me be free You attempt to arrive at future By addressing the present But what about the root? You are neglecting the root And you are killing the whole tree YOU ARE KILLING ME! You are killing me... Lord knows, I just will to be free. Why won't you just let me be free? This is not medicine; This is murder! IT IS MURDER; DO YOU HEAR ME!!!??? COLD COLD COLD BLOODED MURDER!!! YOU ARE MURDERING ME! STOP MURDERING ME! WHY ARE YOU MURDERING ME!!!??? YOU, HIM,HER,THEM; YOU ARE "ALL" MURDERING ME!!! PLEASE PLEASE please please Just make it Please just make it stop Please stop it Just make it stop Please stop it Please just make it stop Tracks in my veins Form rivers of pain My cries, unnoticed, reverberate in my soul... You spectate but not in your mind And as the fury of my pain untwines, I lose control. I gradually lose control... I gradually lose all control... You are murdering me You are murdering them THEY ARE MURDERING US!! THEY ARE MURDERING US!! They are murdering us... When does it stop? WHEN DO WE MAKE IT STOP? When do we make it STOP!!!????? (Dedicated to my sister's mother- Annette Mackey- cancer patient, VICTIM OF WESTERN MEDICINE.... Rest In Peace, Beautiful Spirit!) | ||
| Rondall Rating: N/A |
oooooowee, you done done it again girl!!! I need to read absorb this one for a minute or two. But I like the feeling it is giving me. Be right back atchya! | ||
| Carey Rating: N/A |
Hello Beautifulwaterstar I'd first like to say I don't know the difference between a Haiku and a Tatoo....okay. However I do know what moves me. Your poem Space Age Junkie touched me......Thank You. You are fast becoming a must read around here. I am enjoying your style. Carey | ||
| Beautifulwaterstar Rating: N/A |
Thank you two so much. I really don't know if you know how much I appreciate that. Again, thanks.:-) | ||
| A_womon "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 401 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Watastar, This is the poem that you hooked me with and had me searching the whole site looking for some more of your work. You rung a bell in my soul with this one. But you also gave me a measure of peace as well. Thank you for this one. It will always be special to me. "Space Age Junkie" Beautifulwaterstar 2002 I'm a space age junkie, Walking through the twilight... Stumbling on my own existence... Just waiting Hoping "Praying" To die... Just praying to die... I need my fix Gotta have my fix But it don't never "fix" me, so I don't know why... "Stand in line! Stand in line! Get your fix!" Get your fix and die! Get your fix and die... My fix nauseates me Makes me feel dead But I only wish I were... I wanna be free... Just let me be free... Tracks in my arms, All ripe and ready for the next fix But what does it really mean? I'm a virtual vegetable, a zombie of some sort 'Been so long since I've been clean... They just won't let me go; I wanna go Please just let me Please just let me go... Can't take the suffering... Can't take the pain.. My fix may be sustaining me, but it is killing me all the same... Can't do much Can't do much but sleepwalk through my life Why won't you just let me be free? Is it love? Is it the virtue of selfishness? What about me? I'm bald, I'm hurting,I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone But you just won't You just won't let me move on... I wanna be free. Please let me be free.. Just leave me be and let me be free... I'm a fiend A succubus A junkie A junkie A junkie Tremblin' Shakin' Quiverin' VANISHING! I'm vanishing... Don't save me I don't wanna be saved I just wanna be free... So let me be free... Cords never made The Breath Of Life Don't you see it leaving me? Why do you stop it? Let it be? Just let it be... Can't you see? I just I just wanna be free... Don't know what's worse; this illness or my fix My fix is killin' me It's killin' me It's making me suffer I don't wanna suffer I don't wanna be killed, I just wanna be free... Let me be free You attempt to arrive at future By addressing the present But what about the root? You are neglecting the root And you are killing the whole tree YOU ARE KILLING ME! You are killing me... Lord knows, I just will to be free. Why won't you just let me be free? This is not medicine; This is murder! IT IS MURDER; DO YOU HEAR ME!!!??? COLD COLD COLD BLOODED MURDER!!! YOU ARE MURDERING ME! STOP MURDERING ME! WHY ARE YOU MURDERING ME!!!??? YOU, HIM,HER,THEM; YOU ARE "ALL" MURDERING ME!!! PLEASE PLEASE please please Just make it Please just make it stop Please stop it Just make it stop Please stop it Please just make it stop Tracks in my veins Form rivers of pain My cries, unnoticed, reverberate in my soul... You spectate but not in your mind And as the fury of my pain untwines, I lose control. I gradually lose control... I gradually lose all control... You are murdering me You are murdering them THEY ARE MURDERING US!! THEY ARE MURDERING US!! They are murdering us... When does it stop? WHEN DO WE MAKE IT STOP? When do we make it STOP!!!????? (Dedicated to my sister's mother- Annette Mackey- cancer patient, VICTIM OF WESTERN MEDICINE.... Rest In Peace, Beautiful Spirit!) |
