Where Once We Danced--feedback wanted Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Edit Profile

AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » The Poetree - 2002 to 2005 Archive » Where Once We Danced--feedback wanted « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Hot4teacher1975
First Time Poster
Username: Hot4teacher1975

Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2004

Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)

Posted on Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - 02:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

draft two:

Where Once We Danced

I hate romance
And all the pain and bereaving
Where once we kissed by chance
Now we only kiss when leaving
.
I hate that you are so pretty.
I hate your curly hair.
I hate cuddling with you.
And knowing that you care.

I hate talking about your life with you.
I hate it when you sing.
I hate going to the movies with you
What about the happy Hollywood ending?

I hate walking with you.
I hate that you have another lover
I hate talking to you
While lying under the covers

I hate traveling the world with you.
I hate it when you dance.
I hate that you live in New York
I wish I had a chance

I hate it when you visit me.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you don't visit me.
I never want you to see me cry

I hate having dinner with you.
I hate your stupid fucking cell phone.
I hate every moment without you
Sitting here all alone

I hate that the song has ended
And the record is on the shelf
Now where once we danced together
---------

love to hear any thoughts you might have
Thanks.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Watastar
Regular Poster
Username: Watastar

Post Number: 42
Registered: 07-2004

Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!)

Posted on Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 09:30 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Wow. That seems like a lot of truthful expression. You name things people do not ever seem to get to put into words, maybe because they make themselves forget before the pain can fully process anyway (though I agree this does not sound logical in the world of understanding cognition).lol Yes, this is nice. My words for the poet (with the heart like candied yams and sweet rutabaga) would be 'never allow yourself less than you deserve'. There is a song by Lauryn Hill and she sings: "What you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by if you don't catch it"...

The poem was so nice/honest.

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration

Advertise | Chat | Books | Fun Stuff | About AALBC.com | Authors | Getting on the AALBC | Reviews | Writer's Resources | Events | Send us Feedback | Privacy Policy | Sign up for our Email Newsletter | Buy Any Book (advanced book search)

Copyright © 1997-2009 AALBC.com - http://aalbc.com