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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2006 » I like Light Skinned Women.....? « Previous Next »

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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 03:56 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The lighter shade of black - African American man prefers light-skinned Black women

by Jesse Washington

Okay, I admit it: I love light-skinned Black women. I also love women who are chocolate-beige, inky black and a deep dark Hershey's brown. But for some reason I've always had a weakness for tall coffee-colored women who are heavy on the cream.

I am definitely out of style. Today beautiful is deep dark skin with naturally kinky hair. Even that last bastion of objectified White womanhood, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, featured a pumpernickel-colored beauty with hair shorter than mine for the second straight year. Don't get me wrong, I think that's all wonderful. My girlfriend, one of the most attractive women I've ever met, is the color of a Nestle Crunch with a nice short haircut. Still, I always do a double take when a Vanessa Williams type walks by. And just for that, brothers and sisters are calling me a sellout.

Why do I like light-skinned women? Maybe because I had an encounter or two with light sisters during my formative years. Maybe because up until the past several years the only Black women American society has allowed to be presented as beautiful have light skin and European features. Maybe because many of today's largest Black superstars are with light women, including Michael Jordan, Spike Lee, Ice Cube, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, Ice T and John Singleton. Honestly, what man wants to be with an excessively overweight, loud, dark skinned drama queen? Answer that.

These factors may have something to do with it, but they're only minor. After being accused by everyone from my friends to my mother to my girl-friend of having lightness on the brain, I finally admitted it to myself and sat down to figure out the main reason. And I concluded that it's no different than why I like chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla, or rap and jazz instead of R&B and gospel--it's part of what makes me an individual and defines my personal taste. Most men find a certain something irresistible in a woman, and there's often absolutely no reason for it. Yet there's nothing wrong with men who have a weakness for big women, petite ones or dark ones; that's just what they happen to like. And what about female preferences? Plenty of women won't look twice at a man unless he has certain characteristics, whether it be skin color, hairstyle or a hefty wallet. Why aren't black women criticized for their preferences? So I refuse to accept criticism for something that is as natural as nappy hair.

Some Black women have told me that I've been brainwashed by White America into believing Black features aren't as attractive as White ones. If that were true, I'd have terminal "jungle fever," which I don't. I also wouldn't like full lips, wide noses or big behinds, which I do. But more important, although I appreciate female beauty in any nationality, I have a special love for Black women because they reflect my history, live my struggles and understand my frustrations and motivations--whatever their complexion.

Some darker sisters I know also have taken my personal taste as a sign that I don't recognize or appreciate their beauty. Wrong again. I think there are just as many attractive dark-skinned women as light ones. I'm not denying that some Black men exclusively date light-skinned women for all the wrong reasons. But I am not one of them, and those who mistake my appreciation for prejudice or racial confusion are guilty of what they accuse me of: shallowness. What's more, the underlying connotation of the whole issue is that Black men who like light-skinned women are somehow compromising their Blackness. Such thinking is stupid and cannot be proven. Why are dark skinned women so intimidated and jealous of light skinned women? Are they less Black just because their hair is straight, have nice bodies or their eyes are green?

Some of these feelings can be traced back to the house nigger--field nigger mentality that was instilled in us by Whites who made anything dark seem evil and ugly. But if our former masters treated us differently because of our skin color, then it seems just as shameful for us to do the same in reverse. Now that we have recognized the beauty and majesty of our African ancestry, isn't it time for us to discard meaningless, petty color distinctions and let people revel in whatever they choose?


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Toubobie
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 04:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hey, whatever turns you on, but have others experienced black men's fascination with "good hair?" I think hair texture is more of a preoccupation than skin color.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 04:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

In the D.C area there are a lot of FOINE ethiopian(and some eriterian)women,a lot of them are light skinned.Most of them have Naturally long straight or wavy hair,and I've seen a few with green eyes.
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Toubobie
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 05:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

eastwet,

what kind of hair "do you got"? hmm?
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Eastwest
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 05:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BTW,I'm a light skinned dude as for my hair I was teased as a kid for having Indian hair.
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 05:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"In the D.C area there are a lot of FOINE ethiopian(and some eriterian)women,a lot of them are light skinned.Most of them have Naturally long straight or wavy hair,and I've seen a few with green eyes."

Can't vouch for the green eyes (haven't see that yet) but they are the most attractive women group wise that I have ever seen. I see them almost everyday and they never cease to impress me. Very attractive friendly women with outstanding bodies. Love their eyes. And yes, their hair texture is generally curly or somewhat straight and long. If that means anything....just an observation.

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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"...what man wants to be with an excessively overweight, loud, dark skinned drama queen? Answer that."


It's pointless to debate with somebody about why he likes/dislikes something. So I won't.

But funny how Jesse associates being overweight, loud and a drama queen with being darkskinned. Could at least part of his preference for lightskinned sistas stem from his unfairly (and, perhaps, unknowingly) associating negative traits with darker sistas?
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"But funny how Jesse associates being overweight, loud and a drama queen with being darkskinned."

Maybe his personal experiences suggest that is the type that displays this particular behavior. Hard to say without specifically asking him. I'm not saying it's true but perhaps that is what he has experienced. Like you said, "why debate someone over their personal preference". That's always been my mantra.

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Americansista
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

A lot of people do that, not just black men. Black women do it too.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ntfs,

How often have you seen a "excessively overweight, loud, LIGHT skinned drama queen" in any form of media?

Come on, now. Be HONEST, bruh.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I have a question for the so called "Authentic" women of the board,Are you authentic women
threatened by light skinned,wavy,straight haired females? That's the feeling me and I'm sure a lot of other guys get every time we hear or read any of your rants.Angry black women are a dime a dozen these days.For example,I just started a new business with a African friend of mine(we customize and sell luxury cars) this guy is married to a very attractive puertorican/asian woman.His wife was at the office with us when some client came in with a VERY annoying(black)lady.

She Demanded to see the most expensive rides and she Insisted that I show her around.
I was busy,the wife steps in and introduces her self and Politely offered to show her around. Immediately she got UPSET and started huffing,"I don't need your help",why can't this guy here (meaning me) show me around, I POLITELY told her that I was busy and running late for a meeting,which I was and that my partner and his wife would gladly show her around.
Well she got ANGRY,"you just wanted this yellow bitch (my partner's wife) in here because you do not hire Black women" she yelled and stormed out. The funny thing is that my business partner had already hired two of his sisters to help him out.
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Americansista
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^
abm, what about the lady on the pinesol commercials? She's lighter brown, obviously overweight and a little loud, lol.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Americansista,

Yep!
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:54 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"How often have you seen a "excessively overweight, loud, LIGHT skinned drama queen" in any form of media?

Come on, now. Be HONEST, bruh."


Good point. I agree. And if you carefully read what I said, I did not say I agreed with him. I said those may be his experiences -not necessarily yours or mine.

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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 06:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"Well she got ANGRY,"you just wanted this yellow bitch (my partner's wife) in here because you do not hire Black women" she yelled and stormed out."

Well, there ya go. Perfect example......

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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 07:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Americansista,

Okay, babe. I give you that one.

Hahahaha!!!
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 07:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Americansista,

But now, tell the truth: You really had to reach for that one. Didn't you?
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Americansista
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 07:24 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^
LMAO
Abm, well, she was thefirst one that came to mind in regards to lighskinned loud, fat women. You're right; the media does not portray them in that "light" but I PERSONALLY KNOW SEVERAL who are just LIKE THAT.
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Abm
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 07:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Americansista,

Sure there are PLENTY of fat, loudmouth, lightskinned drama queens. Just as there are PLENTY of svelte, refined, dark skinned ladies.

But both White and Black media producers are more inclined to darker skinned Black women - and, btw, MEN - in a negative light.
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Cynique
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 07:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Jesse Washington's comments were so refreshingly frank that I forgive him for not being conscious of his little lapse. Considering his philosopy about color, the loud, fat, dark-skinned drama queens are probably the only type in his line of vision as they get in his face to tell him off.
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Toubobie
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 08:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"BTW,I'm a light skinned dude as for my hair I was teased as a kid for having Indian hair."

Eastwet,

Do you believe that you are attractive? Many of the women you consider ugly or "FOINE," probably consider your Euro-attributes repulsive. What you like is what you like... coal skin beauty or acne ridden light skin and oily dog hair (Yuck!) like yours... There is no formula.
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Fortified
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 09:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There they go again trying to establish a divide between dark-skinned and light-skinned black women. I can bet you that the majority of dark-skinned black women are confident enough and don't give a shit if they aren't light enough or have straight enough hair.
To be brutally honest, I was more jealous of my dark-skinned sistas. I always found something regal and powerful in a beautiful chocolate skinned black woman. I have noticed on numerous occasions, when a white man goes for a black woman, he usually selects from the richer, darker side of the spectrum. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, someone will always find attractiveness in anyone or anything.
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Igbogirl
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 09:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

From Jesse "Field Negro" Washington's "article":

"Why are dark skinned women so intimidated and jealous of light skinned women? Are they less Black just because their hair is straight, [b]have nice bodies[/b] or their eyes are green?"

"Honestly, what man wants to be with an [b]excessively overweight, loud, dark skinned drama queen? Answer that."[/b]

Lightskinned girl= "nice bodies"
Darkskinned girl= "excessively overweight, loud, drama queen."


FUCKING SELLOUT
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 10:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"FUCKING SELLOUT"

Awwwwwww....comon'. Ya don't mean that do you? The brother did say; "I think there are just as many attractive dark-skinned women as light ones." How could he possibly be a sell out? Just curious.....

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Igbogirl
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 10:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ntfs: I said that because of the way he associated dark skinned women with all those negative attributes, like being overweight, being full of drama etc. That's why I said it.

Although I'm beginning to wonder what I'm getting so worked up about. It seems that light skinned girls and dark skinned girls are always getting called out or criticized for something or other. But girls that are neither light or dark like me and many many other women don't seem to get commented on much at all.

What about us? I suppose I should be thankful in a way that if somebody were describing me they would not use the words lightskinned or darkskinned.
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Nels
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Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 - 11:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Despite what some guys might say, men (of all races) tend to “drool” seriously when confronted by a drop-dead gorgeous “black” woman with a flawless creamy “Milky Way Bar” (brown) skin tone than they do over virtually any other type of female. The kind that “melt in your mouth” and not in your hands. They just picture that honey gliding across the pool deck under the Queen Palms on a balmy summer afternoon, glistening in the Sun with crystal-clear drops of dew dripping alternately from one nipple to the other; crashing down to the plush landscape below with a quiet splash. Those soft knee-weakening eyes emitting that subtle and sensuous fragrance of limitless torrid passion and desire.

Ok guys! Wake up. Elvis has left the building and the library closes at six.

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 12:16 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Toubobie(or should I just call you TUB OF LARD)
HA,HA,If being the complexion of Terrance Howard makes me ugly,you NEED to tell the two LIGHT SKINNED women that I'm dating Right Now that.But then again I would not be surprised if some dark skinned guy dismissed you for a lighter skinned female.When I look at the type of females a LOT of dark skinned guys are dating(Light,Bright and White),A LOT OF YOU DARKER SKINNED FEMALES are going to end up being frustrated and desperate.

Guess what is going to happen? You'll either end up being a Dyke or you will end up dating outside the race and will probably end up having
some light skinned,wavy haired half breed for a kid. YOU KNOW THE TYPE,the one's YOU LOVE TO HATE. HA,HA.
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 02:34 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Boy!! Typical Black Americans. Someone starts a thread on light skinned women and every black American man comes "out of the woodworks" to proclaim his love for the "seed of his slavemaster". What a disgrace!

And you even have some Black ppl "running around here" proudly telling us about their "beautiful non-black features".

GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 02:35 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Toubobie(or should I just call you TUB OF LARD)
HA,HA,If being the complexion of Terrance Howard makes me ugly,you NEED to tell the two LIGHT SKINNED women that I'm dating Right Now that.But then again I would not be surprised if some dark skinned guy dismissed you for a lighter skinned female.When I look at the type of females a LOT of dark skinned guys are dating(Light,Bright and White),A LOT OF YOU DARKER SKINNED FEMALES are going to end up being frustrated and desperate.

Guess what is going to happen? You'll either end up being a Dyke or you will end up dating outside the race and will probably end up having
some light skinned,wavy haired half breed for a kid. YOU KNOW THE TYPE,the one's YOU LOVE TO HATE. HA,HA.

Boy you really hate Black women don't you!!!
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 02:48 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh yeah. I read it 12 years ago, in 1995, nice article Ntfs! Very provocative during the time it was printed. I think I still remember some of the controversy.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 02:50 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The truth hurts,Some black females need to get over the fact that there are a Lot of black men, who like light skinned women and there are those who perfer to date out side the race.GET OVER IT.
Last time I checked,Amerikkka is STILL A FREE COUNTRY.Black american guys have the freedom to date,Whatever type of female they find attractive.
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:03 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What is the truth Eastwest that you are a self-hating Negro who hates his own image? You sound like a White Supremacist. Silly plantation negro "running around here" bragging about how you and the women you date have "good hair". Then you have the nerve to call America, Amerikkka.

Yeah, it is only Amerikkka because niggers like you uphold the standards of white supremacy. Again, what hope is there for the Black race when you have assholes like you proudly proclaiming the inferiority of the Black race,and saying that you yourself should not exist?

Again, Black women look at what you RAISED!!!!His mother should be so proud of herself. Knowing that her own son "gags" in disgust at her Black skin whenever she walks in the room.

No, my Brotha the truth hurts you. Because if anybody is running from the truth(which is your own reflection) it is you. Not these BW who are expressing there concern because they don't want to see the extinction of our ppl.

Also, why are we getting mad at the KKK, Neo-Nazis, and other white supremacist groups when you have BM who feel the same way they do and are not afraid to show it???
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:10 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BLACK WOMEN DESTROY EASTWEST, LIL_ZE, AND NTFS!!!! KILL THEM, BECAUSE THEY ONLY WISH TO KILL YOU!! SHOOT THEM, STAB THEM, ETC!! THEY HATE THEMSELVES ANYWAY SO YOU WOULD REALLY BE DOING THEM A PUBLIC SERVICE.

ACTUALLY, BLACK WOMEN GET INTO THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE FIELD SO YOU CAN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF LOCKING THESE BLACK MEN UP!!
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Serena a Faggot my mom is a Light skinned woman
my sister is a light skinned woman. I happen to be light skinned too. You got a problem with that FAGGOT? My dad is brown skinned,he is from Jamaica is that NOT black enough for you BYTCH?

BTW,It does not matter how light your skin is,IF you are not white,You will experience some form of racism.ARABS and Mexicans would tell you the same thing.
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Nels
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:32 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Eastwest --

"Amerikkka is STILL A FREE COUNTRY"

Yes, it is a free country. The real challenge lies in finding a way to pursue one's destiny without the encumbrances of others. Oddly enough, many people don't really know how to appreciate the freedoms that they actually have in the U.S., and they only begin to recognize their shortsightedness when they visit abroad. To each his own. Keep on truckin'.
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Toubobie
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:33 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Eastwet...

You are a light skinned, dog faced Jamaican? Your countrymen don't respect you, you know that right, Bottie Bwoy? You're the Faggot who needs to find females who exhibit weaker traits than your canine ass. I think you're lying, however. You're not light-skinned, but you wish you were, which is even sadder.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:49 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well,Touboboo,I THINK YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF.
You obviously hate yourself and have serious Issues with light skinned people.
I Bet you are some 400 pound,TUB OF LARD,ASHY heifer who thinks All light skinned people SHOULD FEEL YOUR PAIN.WELL WE DON'T.GET OVER IT
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Toubobie
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 04:03 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Eastwet,
Do you occassionaly dress in drag? Cause you saw nothing wrong with posing as a female on this board, you lightweight BOTTIE BWOY Coconut. You couldn't handle those strong Jamaican women. They'd suck your buck-o-five ass ash dry, PUNK.
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Toubobie
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 04:03 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Eastwet,
Do you occassionaly dress in drag? Cause you saw nothing wrong with posing as a female on this board, you lightweight BOTTIE BWOY Coconut. You couldn't handle those strong Jamaican women. They'd suck your buck-o-five ass ash dry, PUNK.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 04:36 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well,Toubohoo (Tub Of Lard HA,HA)
I played football in high school.
I have No problem getting the TYPE of females I WANT.As for posing as a female that was a Bunch OF people.Yeah a bunch of US were having a laugh at YOU and the other dumb ass females on the Board.I went along with them just to have a laugh Another thing, being HALF jamaican and Mixed I really could not care less about Angry HEIFERS. So KEEP ON HATING DAMSEY.
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 12:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Interesting, you did pose as a female when you first came on this board. I am not the only one who noticed that. No Toubobie, Eastwest is some dark-skinned, Yafet Koto, looking drag queen that wished he looked like Halle Berry.

You are the load your mother should have swallowed!! You are a fucking waist of a human being. And if anybody is gay it is you. Because you are the one who only pays attention to BW skin color and hair texture. What are you some kind of sissy hairdresser??
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 03:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Unlike YOU,I can Actually GET A GOOD LOOKING FEMALE.Something tell's me that SERENA the faggot does not have much of a social LIFE Don't give up bytch, maybe one day you will STOP being virgin.May be one day you will GET A LIFE, then again maybe NOT. HA,HA,Ha
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 04:30 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yeah, but I thought you were a WOMAN. That is how you posted when you first came on this board. So what you are a DYKE now??? And I am sure that you get good looking females all day in your line of work. Pretty women need their hair done too.
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Eastwest
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 06:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ? I said I was a guy.
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 08:59 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

”Ntfs: I said that because of the way he associated dark skinned women with all those negative attributes, like being overweight, being full of drama etc. That's why I said it.”

Understood. I guess he did undermine his alleged love for all complexions of black women with that statement. Even though he professed his attraction to fair complexioned black women, I still feel he has a right to pick and chose what he is attracted to. Sorry. And I think that was the premise of the article although he did sabotage it with that particular comment.

”Although I'm beginning to wonder what I'm getting so worked up about.”

No need to. Although it amazes me how some people do work themselves into a state of hysteria over the personal preferences of another individuals life. Everyone has the right to their personal attractions and things that do not attract them. I know this offends a number of people but I don’t see it any other way.

"It seems that light skinned girls and dark skinned girls are always getting called out or criticized for something or other. But girls that are neither light or dark like me and many many other women don't seem to get commented on much at all."

Good point. That’s because they are in the middle and they are not subjected to the controversy and issues that very fair complexioned and very dark complexioned women are. The fair complexioned women are not saying anything from what I see. The screeching and howling seems to be coming from the darker complexioned women. Am I wrong? The DC women believe that the LC women are getting all the attention at their expense. So, I guess it only seems natural for the dislike, bitterness and antagonism to occur. Personally, I think it is all very silly, divisive and unnecessary.

I don’t make those color distinctions since I have dated women of all complexions and colors. It doesn’t matter to me. I dated a girl in college who I thought was white for a long time (before we got together). As you know, the winters in the Midwest can be very cold and she used to wear a knitted cap all the time. I thought she was a white girl who was very funny, witty, very sharp and liked to hang out with the brothers. Until one day she did not have her cap on but wore her hair out. She had long hair draped over her shoulders. But upon careful examination, I could see the coarse roots of her hair. The girl was black and I initially had no idea. Didn’t matter to me since I liked her crazy out going personality. And politically, she was one of the "blackest" and "sharpest" individuals I knew. I liked that also.

When I was in the Navy, I once met a sister girl who was a student at NTC San Diego. She was going to Yeoman school while I was stationed on a ship. What struck me about her was the fact that she was the darkest person I have ever met. I mean the girls skin was almost an India Ink black color. I had never seen anything like that. The only person who came that close in color was an African woman I saw earlier this year who had a stunningly deep dark complexion like hers. You could not help but look.

Anyway, she was very out going and was very deep into jazz. We hit it off and became fast friends and used to hang out all the time. But eventually she got her orders and went to Spain and I went on a deployment over seas. We used to write each other for years.

The point of my rambling was to voice my feelings that skin color means nothing to me personally. And to be honest, it really unnerves me to see one complexion of blacks attacking and degrading another complexion of blacks for whatever reason. It’s counter productive and serves no other purpose but to create schisms and bitter divides amongst a race of people who are already grossly fragmented. It’s sad, very sad. I have yet to hear a convincing intelligent argument (and I’ve hear them all) as to why it is necessary and a good thing, to pit one group of blacks against another. Can you give one? I’m all ears….

”What about us? I suppose I should be thankful in a way that if somebody were describing me they would not use the words lightskinned or darkskinned.”

I agree. I detest the words “light skinned” and “dark skinned” as much as I hate the words “good hair” and “pretty color”. I’ve heard them all my life and I still cringe every time I hear these meaningless descriptions that are vestiges of slavery and stunning ignorance. No human being is responsible for the color of their skin, ethnicity or race. That is why I have not said much in response to the raging self righteous skin color zealots ignorant rants and divisive demonizing in this thread. It’s pathetic.

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Igbogirl
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Posted on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 09:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

he fair complexioned women are not saying anything from what I see. The screeching and howling seems to be coming from the darker complexioned women. Am I wrong? The DC women believe that the LC women are getting all the attention at their expense. So, I guess it only seems natural for the dislike, bitterness and antagonism to occur. Personally, I think it is all very silly, divisive and unnecessary.

Nice post, Ntfs. I'm beginning to really enjoy reading what you have to say. I have to disagree wwith you on the above though. I have friends of all shades. I actually find that several of my light skinned or mixed friends do talk an AWFUL lot (actually, they kinda brag) about being light skinned. There's a sort of "oh all the dark girls hate me because I'm light skinned. ITs not MY fault all the men worship me. Oh poor me." sort of attitude. One of my light friends drops the phrase "because I'm lightskinned" or "being a lightskinned woman" into nearly every sentence she utters, lol and she is actually genuinely shocked when a black man overlooks her when we're out and tries to talk to one of our darker friends.

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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 - 03:23 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

”I have to disagree wwith you on the above though. I have friends of all shades. I actually find that several of my light skinned or mixed friends do talk an AWFUL lot (actually, they kinda brag) about being light ……………she is actually genuinely shocked when a black man overlooks her when we're out and tries to talk to one of our darker friends.”

Good rebuttal Igbo. I thought about what you said and I believe you. What I meant was most of the harsh bluster seems to be coming from a number of darker complexioned black women. This sickening self adulation by the lighter complexioned women you mentioned, would unnerve me also. If this is what DC women have to constantly hear, I can understand their angst at such arrogance and stupidity.

I must also say if I failed to mention this before, not all darker complexioned black women are filled with the bitterness and crippling issues that a few of the board members constantly spew. But to be honest and I’m opening myself up to retaliatory criticism by saying this, I don’t believe LC men are as arrogant and ignorant (in the company of DC men) as the LC women you commented about. My best friend is so fair complexioned, people have often mistaken him for being Jewish. I have known him all my life and I have never, ever heard him make a comment about any one's skin color –not once.

A female friend of mine I have known since 1983, is also very fair complexioned. I have never heard her make a comment about some one's skin color –ever! But since she moved to Oakland, she has told me she has often times become depressed at the extreme level of ignorance and skin color obsession by the younger black people she has worked with. She told me she was stunned to hear them constantly preface every description or comment about another black person, with a reference to skin color. I really don’t know what to say other than it is sad and disgusting. Perhaps you are experiencing the same thing. If so, I can understand your confusion and disdain for all this skin color preoccupation. I know I am.

Again, your example was a good one. I just don’t personally hear those things so I will concede that I may be missing a piece of the puzzle. Honest confession.

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Brownbeauty123
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Posted on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 - 08:46 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Ntfs,

my experiences are similar to Igbogirl's. I have a cousin who is very fair complected, and she is mixed race. And she always is making references to her very light complexion being what makes her stand out amongst all the other darker complected Black women. She often boasts about it being the very reason she gets asked out on many dates by Black men. She even went on further to say that, any child who is born to look like her (lightskin, wavy hair) will be the most blessed child ever born. I didn't understand why she felt the need to say this in front of me, being that I am brownskinned, perhaps she was trying to make me feel inferior? I don't know. Anyway, they were very bold statements to make.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 - 11:18 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There's a book I've been intending to read (sorry the name of it currently escapes me) that argues that all human beings inately view lighter skin to be more feminine and view darker skin to be more masculine. Thus the advent of phrases "Tall, DARK and handsome" is a choice complement of men while "FAIR and beautiful" is such for women.

If this is true, your bluest-Black men should be considered the world most handsome men. I wonder would most women argue such is true.
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Jackie
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Posted on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 - 01:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM: There's a book I've been intending to read (sorry the name of it currently escapes me) that argues that all human beings inately view lighter skin to be more feminine and view darker skin to be more masculine. Thus the advent of phrases "Tall, DARK and handsome" is a choice complement of men while "FAIR and beautiful" is such for women.

Jackie gives ABM a virtual high five !

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