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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2006 » Are you a victim? « Previous Next »

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Igbogirl
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Username: Igbogirl

Post Number: 62
Registered: 09-2006

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Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 09:52 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Some people act as though being black is similar to being a cripple, being blind, being mentally retarded etc. In fact, a white person I know once told me that he was volunteering to "help disabled people and minorities" go vote. I think this encouragement of a victim mentality among blacks is the new slavery.
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 2774
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 03:26 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Their attitude to it ought to let you know something.

A white researcher asked a college audience if black people had all the advantages in society. Several people raised their hands.

He asked then who in the audience wanted to be black.

Nobody raised their hands.

Ain't no need for you to come on here railing about this. You need to go talk to the white folks who feel this way--

Lotsa luck.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm

Post Number: 6577
Registered: 04-2004

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Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 04:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Of course MOST Black foks are not disabled or infirm. But if we all can agree there is a such thing as White Supremacy/Privilege, wouldn't the people who are generally least liked and accepted by Whites be a natural DISADVANTAGE?
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Igbogirl
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Username: Igbogirl

Post Number: 69
Registered: 09-2006

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Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 04:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The only way we will alter the status quo is by rising up and fighting against it. Not by defining ourselves as victims.

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Shemika
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Username: Shemika

Post Number: 200
Registered: 02-2006

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Posted on Friday, September 22, 2006 - 01:41 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think if someone is victimized in whatever fashion, they have nothing to be ashamed of or to be in denial about. It is the perpetrators who should be ashamed. Blaming the victim empowers perpetrators to continue their infractions, diverts attention from them and alleviates them from having to take responsibility for their consequences of the actions or make changes. They can then continue the same patterns of behavior by simply playing the head game of blaming and shaming their targets into not addressing it by instilling fear in them about being labeled a ‘victim’.

In order to address an injustice you must acknowledge who the perpetrator is as well as the ones they have violated (or victimized}. This strategy of shaming and blaming the victim is often used by child molesters, other abusers, and schemers. It is a foundational strategy within the white supremacist establishment.
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Igbogirl
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Igbogirl

Post Number: 85
Registered: 09-2006

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Posted on Friday, September 22, 2006 - 08:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

There is nothing good that can come out of feeling like a victim. You should acknowledge that wrong has been done against you and then try to fight back adn move on. A molested child is a good example. I was actually molested as a child. For all my teens and early 20s I wallowed in what had happened to me, felt full of rage about it and kept fucking up in life because I felt so angry and such a victim and nobody got prosecuted for what they did to me. It wasn't until I accepted that I could not undo the wrong that had been done to me that I was able to have an enjoyable life. I had to say to myself, yeah - its unfair, you deserved better - but what are you gonna do? Focus on the injustice and the pain for the rest of your life - or forge a great life for yourself despite the setbacks and the disadvantages? If I had become a drug addict or something, sure, I could have blamed it on the abuse and plenty of people do wind up that way because of abuse. But it makes more sense to me to try to heal myself in whatever way I can and make the best of what I do have.

As black people, we may be discriminated against, but we are still alive. We still have God. For the most part, we have enough to eat, water to drink, air to breathe, people to love and who love us. We still have the strength of spirit to do something good and fight back and make the world a more just place for our children and grandchildren.
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Shemika
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Username: Shemika

Post Number: 197
Registered: 02-2006

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Posted on Sunday, September 24, 2006 - 03:44 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sorry for your ordeal.

But I think its all in how you perceive the term ‘victim’. When you were a child you were a victim of molestation because someone in a position of advantage and authority over you due to age took advantage of that position. When you grew up you were simply trying to cope with the effects of that victimization. Those are two different processes. How you cope with victimization has nothing to do with the fact you were indeed victimized.

Like most cases of corruption and abuse, a lot of factors determine how the victims of those abuses will be able to cope with them. Those who society shows preference toward will be more likely to receive compassion and be vindicated by the legal system. Just as a child that was molested but has a lot of support when they grow up, and are able to receive therapy can likely recover much more easily then someone that has little or no support and can’t afford therapy.
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Igbogirl
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Username: Igbogirl

Post Number: 88
Registered: 09-2006

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Posted on Sunday, September 24, 2006 - 07:29 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Shemika, I hear what you are saying. In my case, although I was victimized as a child, none of the adults around me actually seemed to give a shit. The perp was not, to my knowledge, punished and nobody ever even got me into therapy. As an adult I had a very clear idea of how I wanted my life to turn out. I didn't want to continue being an angry, self destructive little girl who was mad at the world. I wanted to try to move past the pain and become a happy woman. I spent a fortune out of my own pocket on therapy and worked really really hard to forge my own life and not let my life be simply a reaction to the injustice that was once done against me.

What I am saying is that there are many people who have PLENTY reason to just sort of give up. They might be victims of this racist society, they may be discriminated against because they come from poverty, they may have been abused, they be physically handicapped. But what I am saying is that there is way more joy in saying, "well screw it - I'm gonna do my thing anyway" than in letting the injustice against you define your entire life.
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Shemika
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Username: Shemika

Post Number: 199
Registered: 02-2006

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Posted on Sunday, September 24, 2006 - 11:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I see what you mean. But what I’m saying is that just because blacks want to discuss racism doesn’t mean they aren’t doing anything else or making an effort- in fact it’s quite the contrary. The only way to change things is to talk about them and spread awareness.

Besides public unawareness, the reason a child is victimized is because they are at a disadvantage and no one in a position to protect them is willing to do so. Those who are proud, ashamed or indifferent to the child’s needs or who wish to protect the perpetrator discourage the child from telling anyone by shaming them and blaming them for what happened. As a result of the child being silenced and those aware of it not doing anything about it, the abuse continues and such perpetrators repeatedly abuse others in the same fashion. And nothing ever gets done about it.

This is exactly what is occurring in the cycle of racism. It is a white dominated legal system and job market, yet blacks have to try to work within this system amid those who are indifferent to their mistreatment and blame them to excuse not protecting their rights.

Also, blacks who are ashamed of the fact black people are looked down upon and targeted for being (or looking) black, or who desire white approval are often quick to assume those blacks brought it upon them selves. So they talk down about them in the same manner as whites do rather then listen to them or relate to anything they have to say. They also tend to practice colorism.

To be aware of the injustice of this cycle and shaming those who engage in it rather than those targeted by it is part of the road to recovery.
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Igbogirl
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Username: Igbogirl

Post Number: 107
Registered: 09-2006

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Posted on Monday, September 25, 2006 - 12:58 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

unfortunately though I know quite a few black men who are more than just aware of the unfairness of things: they actually wallow in it. They blame white men for every thing that goes wrong in their lives. It has even reached a point where they blame white men for them not supporting their kids or even for them not eating healthily or abusing alcohol. That is a road that leads to nowhere good.

One black male friend is very intelligent, very well educated (Morehouse and Columbia) and has potential, but he sits on his ass, smokes a hella of a lot of weed DAILY, is three months behind on his rent, supposedly is a freelance writer but never publishes anything, possibly because he smokes weed from the moment he wakes up (which is noon or later) each day. He blames the state of his life on.... 'the white man'

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