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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2006 » An Angry, Clueless White guy tells us Black women to get over it « Previous Next »

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Stephgirl
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Posted on Wednesday, May 17, 2006 - 12:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

An Angry, Clueless White guy tells us Black women to get over it

Here's a statement from a guy who tells black women to get over it when it comes to IRs. Here's his view:

"The subject of black men choosing to date white women is an often-recurring subject at Y?
Forum. The reasons black men go there, according to black women, are numerous,
complicated and usually demeaning to white women: they take s*** from black men,
they're pushovers, they're easy, just to list a few. What if the real reason some black men
date white women? What if some simply find white women more appealing? Is that too
painful to consider?" by William, Columbia, SC, United States, 38, Male, Methodist, White/Caucasian, Straight,
Sales, 4 Years of College, Middle class.

Too often, we black women are being told by whites not to get angry when some black men date ouside of their race. We are said to be too angry, difficult to deal with by clueless white folks. They even see our preference for black men a form of reverse racism. What do you think about the phenomenon of whites berating us for being concerned about IR dating? Have you been a victim of such berating?

Stephanie
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Shemika
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Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 12:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yes, but that attitude usually comes from bm that date ww as well. They spew out all the claims bw are being racist as well as insults about bw having bad attitudes, being welfare queens, all your negative stereotypical allegations to justify why they don’t want to date or marry bw. While claiming or implying that ww are these easygoing, perfect creatures they can't find any fault with. But wm don't care about IR dating anymore, they realize there is a surplus of available females and it suits them fine to use their unwanted excesses to water down and genetically eradicate the weakening black population. They are bringing in new generations of semi-whites who are not a threat to the white supremacist power structure and are assimilated mentally and often physically indistinguishable. While bw will carry whatever future we have of the full black race, which due to IR preference will continue to diminish in number. Those who do survive will more likely be fatherless, and as we diminish in number and power, be easy to control and dominate, and continue to remain primarily at the bottom of the socio-economic latter
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Schakspir
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Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 05:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"The subject of black men choosing to date white women is an often-recurring subject at Y?
Forum. The reasons black men go there, according to black women, are numerous,
complicated and usually demeaning to white women: they take s*** from black men,
they're pushovers, they're easy, just to list a few. What if the real reason some black men
date white women? What if some simply find white women more appealing? Is that too
painful to consider?" by William, Columbia, SC, United States, 38, Male, Methodist, White/Caucasian, Straight,
Sales, 4 Years of College, Middle class.

What's so clueless about this? If anything, the response towards the statement was far more so.
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Mony
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Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 07:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Schakspir, you're so droll.
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Femrenoir
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Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 06:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

This would be funny if it wasn't creating such a dilemma for young black women hoping to build a life that includes a traditional nuclear family. Most brothers who date white women find them more attractive, because they've embraced the self hatred encouraged by the media, and/or in a lot of cases take the opportunity to be with someone who doesn't have any self hatred issues of her own. The funny part is that white women age must faster than we do, so that many of these brothers (and sisters) end up looking over their shoulder as years pass - wishing for smooth silky chocolate. A white person isn't going to berate me for objecting to IR dating, because I don't. He who laughs last, etc., etc.
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Stephgirl
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Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 06:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Femrenoir,

That's so true about white women. They age faster than us black women.

Steph.
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Stephgirl
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Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 09:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Schkaspir, you're the clueless one! Your statements on this board proved that.

Stephanie
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Stephgirl
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Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 09:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Shemika said on this post:
"Yes, but that attitude usually comes from bm that date ww as well. They spew out all the claims bw are being racist as well as insults about bw having bad attitudes, being welfare queens, all your negative stereotypical allegations to justify why they don’t want to date or marry bw. While claiming or implying that ww are these easygoing, perfect creatures they can't find any fault with. But wm don't care about IR dating anymore, they realize there is a surplus of available females and it suits them fine to use their unwanted excesses to water down and genetically eradicate the weakening black population. They are bringing in new generations of semi-whites who are not a threat to the white supremacist power structure and are assimilated mentally and often physically indistinguishable. While bw will carry whatever future we have of the full black race, which due to IR preference will continue to diminish in number. Those who do survive will more likely be fatherless, and as we diminish in number and power, be easy to control and dominate, and continue to remain primarily at the bottom of the socio-economic latter"

YOU AIN'T NEVER LIED!!! THE WHITE MALE USES WHITE WOMEN AS BAIT TO THE ALREADY BRAINWASHED SELF-HATING BLACK MEN. WHITE WOMAN'S EGO GETS STROKED EVERY TIME A BLACK MAN DECLARES HIS LOVE FOR THE WHITE WOMAN WHILE PUTTING DOWN BLACK WOMEN, ESP. REAL BLACK WOMEN SUCH AS FANTASIA, MISSY, VENUS, OPRAH, WHOOPI, ETC. AND SO, THE WHITE WOMAN REMAINS ON THE PEDASTAL WHILE THE BLACK WOMAN IS TREATED LIKE TRASH. THIS IS HOW THE WHITE SUPREMACIST POWER STRUCTURE MAINTAINS ITSELF.

Stephanie
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Shemika
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Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 11:17 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Thank you Stephgirl.

And all that talk about ww being pushovers and easy, etc. is something a lot of bm say to excuse preferencing them over bw. That's where bw get it from, I hear bm say that all the time. But I don't see ww that way. I think they are cunning and know exactly what they are doing. It is the bm who is being duped. The bm I've seen with them were often acting like some whipped puppy with his tail between his legs. -Even afraid to look up for fear of offending his ww. But they put up this front to impress bw and wm. White women have told me themselves that they preferred bm because they were more attentive then wm. And I've seen that over and over.
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Fortified
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Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 09:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Why persistently complain about the issue? It isn't going to change anything.
You can give a million and one reasons why black men choose to date and marry outside of their race and you are not going to change the statistics, you are not going to make black men feel bad about their choices, or make white women look inferior in their eyes. So what's the point? If it is brainwashing, self-hatred on the part of the black man, do you really want to deal with someone who is so "weak" to begin with?
The majority of black men are still with black women, so stop giving into media sensationalism. Interracial relationships are not destroying the black community as much guns, drugs, and lack of a proper education are. Black women should direct their anger towards those issues first and foremost...
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Shemika
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 12:52 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, we won't have a future without a healthy foundation of the family unit. Bw can't do it all by themselves as individual powerless units or even as a group of women who will simply keep dying off and eventually have no offspring to pass it on to. Blacks are allowing themselves to be dissolved mentally and physically. I've noticed bm/ww unions as well as the black side of the family take pride in their children's lack of blackness.

Someone showed me a picture of her bi-racial grandchildren recently, and had she not informed me I would have thought they were white/oriental although they were black/white. There’s something wrong when blacks are most proud when their offspring resemble them or their African heritage the least. Bm have abandoned the black community by going outside the race. I doubt bm are marrying bw most (although regardless, the IR magnitude is problematic) - at least not in my area. Around here bm loathe bw. And no I don't want someone who hates bw, but I do care about the future of our race. Those traitors are contributing to our demise. If we die off as a people there is nothing left to fight for.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 01:11 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Only 7% of married African American men are married to white women. Approximately 1% are married to Asian women. So, up to 92% of all married black men are married to black women...
How many black men are incarcerated, exposed to drugs, receiving sub-standard education? Do you think it is less than 7% of all black men?

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Nels
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 02:30 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Smemika --

"although regardless, the IR magnitude is problematic"

Utter nonsense. At least smoke some better shit and then come up with some better nonsense.
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Nels
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 02:31 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Smemika --

"Shemika --"

My bad...
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Shemika
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 10:35 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Fortified

I don't know where you got your stats. Either they are outdated or erroneous. One thing about stats is that anyone can find some source quoting numbers supporting their opinion. All they are is samples.

Bm not only marry ww, but Hispanics, Asians, etc., everyone but bw, including each other. If not married they are involved with non black females. My eyes don't deceive me nor does my experience and that I see many other bw going through. I hardly know any bm/bw married couples anymore except a couple older church leaders who make a living as pastors.

One woman I know who was married was doing everything for him, including paying all the bills and driving him around the entire marriage. He only worked p/t on occasion throughout the marriage because he didn't drive. She purchased two homes during the marriage then he divorced her and took one of them although he never contributed a thing.

I say that to point out that the few who do marry black often do so to use them. But when successful they tend to almost always go white.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 11:20 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^^Where are you getting your information? You are going only by what YOU see, which is colored (pardon the pun) by emotions. The fact is that the majority of black men are married to black women.
An example of this is seen in the NBA. The media will focus on the Kobe Bryants and Charles Barkleys who aren't married to black women, when the VAST, and I mean VAST majority of these married players are married to black women including Shaq, Alonzo, Dwyane Wade, Ben Wallace, LeBron James' girlfriend Savannah is black, Gary Payton, Eric Snow, RIP Hamilton's girlfriend is black, and the list goes on...

Interracial dating is not even one tenth the threat as violence, drugs and unemployment to the black community. You're speaking purely out of emotion. Speak out of logic or fact and maybe then you can see the matter for what it is...
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Moonsigns
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 03:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good post, Fortified!
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Cynique
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 03:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Race is not so much an issue as appearance is. You can believe that none of these black, high-profile jocks and professionals hook up with average-looking black women. They go for the trophy types with movie star looks. And "movie star looks" is a phrase that's interchangeable with ethnic beautification.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 04:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^^^Give me a break. If you are talking about light-skin, long hair, straight nose as the trophy type, you obviously haven't seen the wives and fiancees of these athletes:

Ron Artest
Ben Wallace
Dwyane Wade
Eric Snow
Doug Christie
Vince Carter
LeBron James
Robert Horry
Jim Jackson
Allen Iverson
Antawn Jameson
Gary Payton

These wives are attractive, but they don't possess "movie star" looks, and guess what? They're ALL BLACK!
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Va_sis
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 04:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Are we really counting A.I?

All jokes aside, I'm with you Fortified, we've got far greater issues in our community that threaten our children and survival.
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Cynique
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 04:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Trophy types are women who are attractive enough to be movie stars Not all movie stars have long hair, fair skin, or straight noses. But they are eye-catching and well-stacked.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 06:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^^My point, exactly. The women I listed above look like everyday sistas you see at work, in your neighborhoods. The only difference is they may be wearing better weaves and better make-up, and these brothas who snatched them up make MILLIONS playing ball and filling up stadiums. But the media will never show you that. They don't make money showing black love. They make money sensationalizing Kobe Bryant, his white/latina wife, and his alleged rape of a white girl in Colorado. That sells papers and drives up Neilsen ratings and web site hits.
Getting pissed about seeing Tyrone with Becky isn't going to solve our unemployment issue, lack of socio-economic power, HIV rates, lack of proper education and violence.
Yes we know that quite a number of black men are dating and marrying interracially, but the fastest growing interracial relationship is between the black woman and the white man. The numbers are still very low, but it is growing. The media and the hiring practices of corporate America are pushing for this to happen...

Face it, just because a brotha isn't dating YOU or your friends, it doesn't always mean that he hates black women!
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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 09:17 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Whether any of them look like movie stars is questionable, but the women named in the previous post do not look like the majority of black women, whom are inarguably still authentic looking. Does most of the women posted look like black women? Yes. Are most of them authentic looking? Not even close. Not to some. And to downplay what some of us see is ignorant at best. A medium complexioned or light skinned black may only see race and not color thus to them colorism may not be problematic. But to a dark-skinned woman, the amount of colorism she sees will affect the way she views race, and, IMO, allows her to see both color and race more clearly, which should not be taken as more "emotionally"; how condescending and absurd. The women who are married to the 92% of black men that--indeed--married black… may be black women, and nothing else, in a medium/light skinned AA’s eyes. In a darker woman's eyes, however, these females may be black women, no less, but ones who also represent something else, something more revealing perhaps. And, when/if she concludes this, she is more than capable of doing so with her eyes since it is something that doesn't take any "emotion" or much else to see. What's funny is, ironically, the only emotion that gets involved is usually that which erupts after confessing what one has witnessed. On a similar note, it is amazing how so many can't see the connection between black people's self esteem regarding blackness and socio-economic power, HIV rates, education, violence, drugs and other issues concerning black folks--this is incredible. Maybe it’s because some are limited to what their experiences allow them to see; not because of their emotions, their inability to connect, or anything like that--maybe it's just that simple.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 09:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't make a habit of chasing down celebrity pictures but here are direct links to pro basketball players and their significant others. Then you can tell me how "authentic" looking these women are:

Ben and Chanda Wallace
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3031/2dc39sb.jpg

Dwyane and Siovaughn Wade
http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/6105/f4c21ls.jpg

LeBron James and Savannah
http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/764/d6365je.jpg

Robert Horry and his wife
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/7422/481b8nb.jpg

Tracy McGrady and his wife
http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/2522/99326mi.jpg

I don't know what these women are supposed to reveal about their husbands, but they sure as hell look like authentic black women to me.

Just a question: if all the black men who were dating and married to black women were with black women who are light to medium complexion, then where are all the dark-complected children coming from? How are there still dark-skinned black women in existence?
I am not denying the existence of colorism--it is prevalent in the black community, among East Indians (watch a Bollywood flick and you'll see) and Asians. But the bottomline is that an attractive woman who is well self-loved and emits positivity won't be single for long. I have seen SCORES of DARK-skinned black women end up in loving relationships--my best friend being one of them...

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Tonya
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 10:14 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You may think you understand "the existence of colorism" but the first thing you probably should understand is that colorism doesn't have a thing to do with beauty, just like racism does not. And if you think that more than one of those women you just posted look like authentic black women, your SCORES of DARK-skinned black women account and/or your idea of loving relationships could very well be different than others. No biggie; just a matter of opinion.

"…where are all the dark-complected children coming from? How are there still dark-skinned black women in existence?"

I think 87% of black children reside in fatherless families. I'm not suggesting that they don't get born; from what I see they are not valued--(as much)--that‘s what I‘m saying.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 10:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Please define to me what an authentic black woman looks like. I didn't know there was an authority on "authentic blackness" in the esthetic sense. If the average African American is ~15% white how many really dark-skinned Blacks are out there as compared to the medium toned ones? Yes, we have slavery to blame for that...but if the majority of us fall in the "middle" of the spectrum, then the probability of married black women who fall in the middle of the spectrum will be higher than those at the extreme ends of the spectrum (Gaussian distribution).

Hence if 87% of black children reside in fatherless families (I would like to see the source of that stat, I have read more along the lines of 67%), then the majority of these children's complexions will lie in the "middle" of the spectrum as well...
I have no relationship with my father and I'm the same complexion as Sanaa Lathan. My friend has a solid relationship with her dad and she is as black as Alek Wek.

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Renata
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 11:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm with Shemika.......I don't know of too many black men younger than 40 who are married to ANYONE, or black women for that matter. The married people tend to be older people.
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Fortified
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Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 11:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^^So then the issue we should be discussing is the decrease in MARRIAGES in the black community. And interracial dating preferences are NOT solely to blame for that...
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Femrenoir
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 01:15 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So what is the deal with the decrease in marriages? I know lots of married older couples. Are younger men less likely to marry because of economics/costs? Two can live (almost) as cheaply as one, so that's probably not it.

I see 'beautiful/radient' married women in every shade. Rather than make comparisons of 'shade' and 'grade' (of hair); grooming, sense of style, a healthly diet and exercise regime, a joyful attitude towards love and work, a sharp mind and good education are better yardsticks to use when comparing women and how they are faring in the world.

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Va_sis
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 10:14 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

*whew*

Thank you Fortified, for making that easy for me! I was too lazy to even TRY to find all those pictures.

Anyway, all those women looked like "round the way girls" to me...but they all are the same, or lighter, complexions. Remember that DMX video from a few years back, "What They Really Want From A..."? ALL those chicks in that video were the same complexion, caramel to light.

Does that mean the athletes have colorist mindsets?

Or are they ALL geniunely attracted to just a certain complexion of women?

Or are they attracted to all shades of black women, and they just so happened to fall for a certain flava?

Or better yet, DOES IT MATTER? Can you, I and an army of us MAKE them put us dark-chocolate sistahs on their arm?

No.

And because of this, I'm still confused as to why this topic, along with IR, gets certain people more fired up than the more pressing issues at hand.
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Va_sis
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Post Number: 76
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 10:18 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"So what is the deal with the decrease in marriages?"

Fem, IMO, younger men are trying to either:

1. Have ALL the fun they can have bedding every woman that come their way, before (and if) they even settle down to marry. I say "if", because a lot of men are very happy as bachelors.

2. Or looking for "that perfect dimepiece" to marry. Outward appearances come first (what the REAL criteria is unknown to me, but I can just about guess), and she must have her game tight in her career, in social circles, in the kitchen and in the bedroom.
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Tonya
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Post Number: 2524
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 11:25 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Fortified, almost all of the females you posted are plain, average, “round the way" looking as one poster put it. BUT THEY ARE NOT AUTHENTIC. We've gotten into a careless rut where we lump the appearances of average and unattractive looking females with Authentic looking ones--and nothing could be further from the truth; there is a distinct difference.

Lebron James' wife is an authentic looking African American female.
http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/764/d6365je.jpg
She has the eyes, the cheekbones, the complete facial structure of an African woman; infact if she were LeBron’s complexion she would look pure African.

The rest of those females are just plain/average looking. Notice the difference between them and LeBron‘s wife. Equating the two - though probably not intentional - is somewhat of an insult.

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Fortified
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 12:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya, dear, I still don't understand what an "authentic" black woman looks like! Can you show me some pictures? If you are going to show me a pic of a beautiful native Rwandan woman, I am then going to ask you how many African-American (diasporatic) woman actually do look like a native African versus those that look like Chanda Wallace, Savannah or Siovaughn Wade.

I have a feeling I am going to feel slightly offended not being considered an authentic black woman. Because regardless of my skin tone, I feel that I am one.
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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 02:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Girl, what are you talking about?? lol. I just showed you a picture of what an Authentic Black Woman looks like--Savannah was a perfect example. And, IMO, a great many AA females look like her, just a few shades darker in most cases. Some are perfectly sculpted like she is. Many are as beautiful as she is. Some are more unique, more sculpted, and more beautiful--some are less. But most share similar qualities, at least the ones that I've seen. Does this mean that females who look differently are automatically less attractive--of course not. We all do not look authentic--despite the fact that we all may feel that way--but there is ABSOLUTELY no reason to be offended because many of us are beautiful in different ways. None of it is meant to offend. Black women are all beautiful in so many ways.

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Fortified
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 03:56 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So Savannah is authentic, but Siovaughn Wade isn't? I don't get it. Savannah has high cheekbones, that's about it. There isn't that many differences (in terms of blackness) between her and Siovaughn or Chanda...
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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 04:56 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think Savannah's eyes, cheekbones, nose, lips all come together to make the difference. As I said earlier, if she were LeBron’s complexion she would look pure African. Her beauty is still intact and it’s extraordinary. She shouldn’t feel guilty about honoring it. I think all women should be able to celebrate their beauty without being viewed shallow. Siovaughn's features look like they've been diluted. There is a difference.
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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 05:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

As for Chanda, her looks, IMO, have been diluted as well.
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Fortified
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 07:58 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't see how their looks are "diluted", but anyway...what is being argued here is that black men are marrying everyone except for black women when statistically that is not the case. The Black women who have a problem with IRs don't have to "get over it" if they so choose, but all the constant complaining isn't going to change the current state of interracial relationships involving black men. It just makes these black women look bitter in the eyes of others.
If we are so concerned about the breakdown of the black nuclear family we should focus more on reducing the number of out-of-wedlock births, education and proper money management.
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Tonya
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Post Number: 2529
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 12:03 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Not true. We are simply expressing different opinions. And the way I see it, black women should have a problem with what ever the hell they damn well please. We are the ones that'll be running things for the foreseeable future--BY OURSELVES. Half our men are in prison. The other half are unemployed, underemployed, out of luck, and into nothing but the rhythm & blues. You think we shouldn't discuss that? Why shouldn't we discus that along with anything else that may have an impact on our future as a nation of women responsible for carrying the world on her shoulders?--why--because it's our fault that the nuclear family has broken down?? We're solely responsible for out-of-wedlock births? Education and "proper money" has eroded under our management? You say it like WE caused THE BIGGER PROBLEMS to fix. When the truth of the matter is.. we have no choice but to fix EVERYBODY’S mess. I say we discuss what ever the fuck we want and however the fuck we want to. And fuck what anybody's eyes got to say. How 'bout our eyes--what about the shit we see? How 'bout the shit we got to say?

The black woman should be bitter.

Damn what everybody else got to say.

Fuck 'em.
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Shemika
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Post Number: 63
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 02:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I agree with Tonya.

Also Fortified,
There is more to solving the problem with the black family then reducing the number of out of wedlock births. In this society marriages are no more stable then non committed relationships. Most married men still cheat and often end up fathering children with their paramours. A lot of them also leave their wives almost as quickly as they will a casual lover. That's why the divorce rate is so high, and many people separate without even bothering to get a divorce. The end result for those children born in wedlock is often no different then for those who aren't.

I think marriage could be the remedy if society respected it in the manner it was intended and it were the sole place for male/female sex or sexual intimacy of any kind. However, since sex is recreational and people engage in all sorts of sexual activities before marriage, they are not likely to change their patterns afterwards, especially males. There are quite a few women who practice celibacy due to their religious beliefs but males doing so are practically unheard of. So if such women marry a sexually undisciplined male his infidelity will have the same negative consequences as in other unions.

The problems in crime, incarceration and unemployment are also related to racism and are worse for the black community when the best and the brightest of our males marry outside the race and bw end up with nothing to choose from except those who refuse to commit or don’t respect or care about them enough to be supportive.

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Grind
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 05:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya, calm down. In no way was Fortified trying to pin the ills of the black community on black women. She simply pointed out that there are MUCH more pressing issues in our community than interracial relationships.
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Abm
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Post Number: 4620
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 06:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

GOD! I LOATHE what has happened to this website.

Why don't Troy change the title of this site from "Thumper's Corner" to the "Bitching Corner" and just get that shyt over with?
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Tonya
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 06:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I bet you Troy loves the diversity. Who wouldn't...?
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Tonya
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 08:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Grind: my hostility wasn't towards Fortified--she hasn't done anything. I was referring to the "Angry, Clueless White guy" and the people whose perception she suggested we take serious. But thanks for clarifying what she meant. :-)
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Fortified
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 08:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LOL!!!! Thanks Grind, I know Tonya's not angry at me. I honestly understand where Tonya and Shemika are coming from. I don't think that black women are bitter if they have a problem with "losing" the available pool of black men to non-black women. It is a valid concern--in no way am I diminishing the importance of this issue. My opinion is that the energy devoted towards this issue is better served at preserving the black male-black female relationships we DO have. I think it's pointless to cry over spilt milk, focus on what's left in the carton, or on getting some more milk elsewhere.
Black women aren't to blame for all the problems in the black community--we shoulder about 50%. For out-of-wedlock births, for example, we can take contraception and/or refuse to have sex unless the man wears a condom. We can control the number of children we bear, especially if we are single and living below the poverty line, etc., etc.
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Yukio
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Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 09:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

abm: Thats funny, but unfortunately true!
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 - 10:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It is not so much that white ppl are experiancing an excess of women it is that BM are taking out their "genetic trash". And white men love to see that the BM especially the authentic ones are not reproducing themselves.
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Renata
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Post Number: 1071
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Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 12:48 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I love you, SS.
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Yvettep
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Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 12:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BW can't do it all by themselves

Well, we can if we choose to. Black women with good heads on their shoulders, stable incomes, and good educations are increasingly not waiting on "finding a man" in order to raise up the next generation of Black children. More of women who fit this description than ever before are adopting children from the foster care system and even using IVF. They are forming communities with kin and friends--including father figures.

Say what you will about statistics, by and large Black men's outmarriage rates are not a huge factor--definitely more Black men are in the criminal justice system than are hooking up with white women. But it is moreso the perception issues with interracial dating/marriage that can be so spirit crushing to many Black women.

There are likely things that we can do to increase positive Black female (and male) imagery in the popular culture. But in the meantime, don't let Black men's choices (or perceptions of Black men's choices) keep you from exerting where you may have the most power: as a mother or othermother to Black children.
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Brownbeauty123
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Post Number: 245
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Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 03:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya,

How come Ben Wallace's wife is not an authentic Black woman? She looks very African to me.

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Tonya
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Post Number: 2568
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Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 04:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Skin color.

I think if she was darker she'd look authentic to me too. LeBron James' wife looks very authentic despite her skin color, because she looks VERY African. Keep in mind, I'm only saying who does and doesn't LOOK authentic. They are probably all culturally authentic AA's; infact they all look like they are.
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Tonya
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Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 05:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The movie Soul Food, the sitcoms Family Matters, The Cosby Show, Good Times, and Girlfriends are all media images that come to mind when I think of CULTURALLY AUTHENTIC African Americans.
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Misty
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Username: Misty

Post Number: 134
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Posted on Friday, June 02, 2006 - 12:58 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

something i dont understand is what does a white man have to do with black womens view of interracials. he needs to mind his own dam business and preach to his own white brothers who still to this day commit violent acts agaisnt blakc men who are with white women.

what a hipocrite
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Misty
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Post Number: 135
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Posted on Friday, June 02, 2006 - 01:05 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

he also needs to preach to white women who think of themselves as gods gift to the world. a lot of them are the same way when it comes to interracials jsut watch how they react when their brother or best friend brings home a black woman
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Sigmaman3
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Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 12:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The man is right, yall do need to get over it! All your bitching, complaining, whining, PMSing, acting like snarling angry bitches and obsessing over this issue has accomplished what? NOTHING! Get a life and stop bieng such miserable losers!
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Jmho
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Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 01:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"Half our men are in prison. The other half are unemployed, underemployed, out of luck, and into nothing but the rhythm & blues. "

If this is true then why would Black women want to be involved with Black men?
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Tonya
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Username: Tonya

Post Number: 2660
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Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 09:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I don't know. But they need to talk about it. Maybe if they talk about it long enough, they'll come to that very realization... either that or, as Kola puts it, they'll "give birth to a new son," (which, IMO, makes the most sense). Meanwhile it's not the position of some white man, or any man, not even a black man, to dictate what they should be saying, thinking, or feeling... (especially since nil one of them are cutting the right check).
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Clymenestra
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Posted on Thursday, June 22, 2006 - 01:23 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Black men hook up with white women for the very same reason that white men hook up with hispanic and oriental women. The idea is that white women are more feminine to the black men just as hispanic and oriental women are more feminine to the white men. Femininity is just code word for submissive.

I have no problem with interracial dating or marriage, if the guy has never made a point of dating outside his own race and just happened to meet "Miss Right but Different" by accident and fell in love by happenstance.

I do have major problems with men who go outside the race expecting a woman of another color to be any different from the women he grew up with. That old saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is ture. Once she figures out, you're just another man, she is going to be bitching at you to put the damned toilet seat down, too.

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