| Author |
Message |
    
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1016
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:16 am: | 
|
The show is supposed to be about interracial relationships between black women and white men. Should be interesting. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 4139
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 03:35 pm: |
|
I missed this show, Moonie, but I will catch the re-run tonight and I am really curious about what will be revealed about this subject. I have heard that black dudes get really steamed about this situation, apparently not being able to see the "turn-about-being-fair-play" irony of it. If this becomes a trend for the future, the mixed complexion of America will be a big set-back for the "authentic" advocates. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1019
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 05:19 pm: |
|
Cynique,
It was a decent show. Sanna Lathan (sp?) and her co-star (Something New) were the guests. Though I'm familiar with certain statistics, I've never heard them discussed on a show that has the influence that Oprahs does. Sanna was sharing the stats for unmarried Black women, the percentage that interdate as well as the stats for Black men who interdate. The Black men they interviewed regarding black women interdating didn't approve. The couples seemed to be everyday kinda people--which is nice because I think most couples, regardless of color, are. They had tads of commentary in between the interview that were a bit comical--some things I could relate to. Although I don't consider interracial dating to be a "trend", I do hope in the future people continue to discover and experience love without color boundaries. I know that the "authentic" advocates, regardless of color, won't like it, but if it's not what they don't want to do with their life--they don't have to. But they have to respect that others have the right to live, love and worship as they choose.
|
Babygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Babygirl
Post Number: 275
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 05:46 pm: |
|
Moonie, I don't know about you but I felt like the tone of the show was purposely kept very low key and light-hearted, in line with the tone of Sanaa's movie. No "serious" cultural conflicts were ever addressed and even the commentary from the Black men who were interviewed was exceptionally calm.
Sanaa said not to quote her stats but during filming said she learned that some 11% of black men are involved in inter-racial relationships, while only 5% of black women were which would seem to indicate black men were very comfortable moving through the global doors while black women were still waiting for good black men to step up to the plate.
I also could appreciate that the couples there were very average people and they all seemed to be genuinely in love, and appreciative and respectful of each other's differences. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 4146
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 06:39 pm: |
|
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, Ladies. The re-run comes on in my area tonight at 11:PM and I'll be checkin it out. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4454
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 04:09 am: |
|
Babygirl,
Sanaa conveniently left that fact that although there are more Black men who have non-Black wives the rate of Black women marrying non-Black is INCREASING at a faster rate than that of of Black men and if the trend continue more Black women than Black men will be in interracial marriages within a generation.
All,
Question 1: Would Sanaa's college-educated professional, uppity middle class, go-get-yo-money gurl character have even thought once - much less TWICE - about dating and knocking boots with a landscaper who bummed around in a dirty, manure-strewn pickup truck with a flea-ridden mutt if he were BLACK?
Question 2: And Sanaa mentioned that "Something New" is the very FIRST film that was produced, written and directed by Black women to be financed/released/distributed by a major movie studio. Think the subject matter of the film - a beautiful, successful Black woman going booty-up to "Joe Average" White dude - have ANYTHING to do with WHY this film is the first of its kind? |
Babygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Babygirl
Post Number: 276
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 08:10 am: |
|
Valid points, ABM and I think a number of "facts" were conveniently left out. If Sanaa hadn't offered the few facts she did there wouldn't have been any at all.
As I said, the show was "soft". There was a deliberate attempt to keep the whole issue light-hearted and "fun" so that none of the more relevant, serious issues could be addressed. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4456
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 08:38 am: |
|
Babygirl,
I actually LIKED "Something New". I always love Sanaa (though, I don't know, she seemed a tad thinner than I recall). The White guy came off okay.
But I'm thinking in the sequel to "Something New" we see Sanaa's character within a year or so REALLY lament chosing dude over Blair Underwood's character.
REALLY!!! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 4149
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 10:16 am: |
|
I agree that Oprah's low-key show cetainly left a lot to be desired. I was disappointed that there wasn't a face-to-face discussion between the black men who disapproved of interracial dating and the black women who were dating white men. And as far as the BF/WM couples who appeared on the show went, the men were a second-rate bunch. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4458
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 01:55 pm: |
|
Cynique,
It definitely appeared as though the sistahs were NOT getting the creme de la creme of White manhood. Which is sort of funny, seeing as Black men who date/marry White women are also often accused of bottomfeeding.
And regarding the brothas who appeared on Oprah: It would be interesting to know the races of the women they've proposed to (assuming they've ever been serious enuff about ANY woman to bother to do so). |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1021
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 03:41 pm: |
|
Cynique:
"And as far as the BF/WM couples who appeared on the show went, the men were second-rate bunch."
Moonsigns:
I didn't want to be the first to write that, but that is what I thought as well. I thought the women were much more attractive than the men. However, they weren't drop-dead gorgeous women, either. And I don't think most couples together, regardless of color, are "10's" when it comes to looks. Most couples are just average.
Although the show was "soft", I thought it was good because it definitely showed everyday people. And surprisingly, not every interracial coupling has "racial" issues/conflict in their relationship and with their extended family members. I noticed the couples shared a few stories about their family parties, funerals, functions etc. For me, to see such couplings portrayed in a "normal" light is refreshing.
Abm:
"But I'm thinking in the sequel to "Something New" we see Sanaa's character within a year or so REALLY lament chosing dude over Blair Underwood's character."
Moonsigns:
This is shallow, but based on looks alone, Blair would be the first choice. Blair Underwood is so fione--I loved when he was on Sex and the City for those few episodes! It was delicious viewing
|
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 4162
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 05:36 pm: |
|
Sometimes we expect too much from celebrities; we want them to take risks even if it means endangering their future bankability. When they venture out onto the slippery slope of an interracial love story, they may have to take baby steps. And, after all, Sanaa and her female posses were making a romantic fluff movie, not "War & Peace". I recently saw "Guess Who" with Bernie Mack and Ashton Kutcher and I thought it was a charming movie that did a pretty good job of handling this subject, although to me there was not a lot of chemistry between Ashton and his black female co-star whose name I can't recall. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2054
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 06:01 pm: |
|
Abm:
"It definitely appeared as though the sistahs were NOT getting the creme de la creme of White manhood. Which is sort of funny, seeing as Black men who date/marry White women are also often accused of bottomfeeding."
Tonya:
No argument here brotha! From what I see it's all a pot of self-hating gutterball niggerdom, black men and women. As for your questions (which none of the other sisters on this thread seem to be touching):
Question 1: Would Sanaa's college-educated professional, uppity middle class, go-get-yo-money gurl character have even thought once - much less TWICE - about dating and knocking boots with a landscaper who bummed around in a dirty, manure-strewn pickup truck with a flea-ridden mutt if he were BLACK?
HELL NO.
Question 2: And Sanaa mentioned that "Something New" is the very FIRST film that was produced, written and directed by Black women to be financed/released/distributed by a major movie studio. Think the subject matter of the film - a beautiful, successful Black woman going booty-up to "Joe Average" White dude - have ANYTHING to do with WHY this film is the first of its kind?
ABSOLUTELY. BECAUSE IT'S BELIEVABLE; AND WHY NOT?
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE, NIGGERDOM.
|
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1022
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 07:00 pm: |
|
My opinion about Abm's first question.
I think it would depend on the type of man and how he presented himself. Just as Sanaa's character wouldn't be impressed with a white man who talked like a countrybumkin or a surfer-type guy who used "like" and "um" every other word, I don't think her character (or a woman similar to her character) would be impressed by a black man who uses ebonics constantly, either. It's all about the complete package. If a man is a landscaper--but is also honest, reliable, kind, attractive, and has social skills that he knows when and how to apply--he wouldn't have issues finding someone decent to be with.
|
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4460
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 11:30 pm: |
|
Moonsigns,
I think Black men and women are often much more critical of each other than they are of non-Blacks. So some things White men and women do would be more readily accepted by many of us than if other Blacks did much the same thing.
Moreover, we Blacks have certain expectations of each other that we don't have for Whites. So, often, and ironically, it's easier for us to relax and just BE ourselves with others.
Now I say "ironically" because many of us would argue that it's easier for us to be ourselves amongst other Blacks. And it is, to a degree. BUT...a lot of that stuff is either quite superficial (e.g., minor cultural effectations) or quite burdensome (e.g., the ubiquitous drumbeat of duh White debil - the hazards of which were incitefully touched upon in "Something New"). |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 949
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 02:31 am: |
|
I have not seen the film yet. Wasn't the male lead's character a landscape architecht? W/a masters degree and owned his own business or something? No point, really, except that--if true--he does not sound so "joe average."
Also, I know many of my Black, single well-educated female friends who date Black "joe averages"--city bus drivers, unemployed but trying to start my own business type guys, a janitor, a guy who works at a factory... It doesn't seem to be (automatically) so uncommon. At least not in my wider friendship and acquaintance circle. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1023
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 01:15 pm: |
|
Abm:
"I think Black men and women are often much more critical of each other than they are of non-Blacks."
Moonsigns:
You are sharing your perspective as a black man--which is (obvioulsy) natural. Therefore, you will see one side of the story. However, though I'm not a black female, I am a female--and I think this has nothing to do with whether black men and women are "more critical" of one another or not. Just as a "college-educated professional and uppity middles class" white women wouldn't think twice about "dating and knocking boots" with a white man who is broke down, I don't think black women should have to settle, either--just because they fear they are being too critical of a "brotha(s)".
For a college-educated professional women, a broke down man is what an ugly, fat women is to a fit, wealthy and handsome man--useless for the long run.
|
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4467
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:09 pm: |
|
Yvettep,
I hope what you describe is, indeed, widespread. But if it is, then why are there so many professional, college-educated women who lament their struggles to find men who are socio-economically comparable to them?
Moonsigns,
Who's suggested that Black women "settle" for a dayam thing? Not I.
But you cannot seamlessly equate White male/female relations with those of Blacks. They have very different historical, social and economic frames of reference. And, because of our unique place on this planet, there just simply are some things that go down between Black foks that White foks (even those with White spouses) will NEVER fully understand and appreciate.
I am a 40-something Black man. I have (and have had) Black mothers, daughters, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, female lovers companions, mentors, subordinants and employees from age 0 - 100. I've lived with, loved and even loathe Black woman at virtually every strata.
No disrespect. But I don't think you're qualified to debate me about whether Black men and women are especially critical of each other. 'Cause, babe, that's a party that you will NEVER receive a FULL membership pass to attend. |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 954
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:44 pm: |
|
I dunno, ABM. I was thinking more about these instances after I wrote that. In two cases, the women knew the men for a long time prior to them getting together. In another case, the man was in college (where they met) but dropped out. In my case (a looong time ago, pre-marriage lol) the guy just struck me as a good person and I took a chance.
In a few of the cases I thought of, the brothers still made as much or almost as much as the sistahs even tho they were "working class" profession-wise. In one case where this was not so, they had many many difficulties due to his high debt load and inability to manage what money he did make...
So. I do not know. I cannot speak about the race thing. In the three cases I know of in my friend/acquaintanceship circles of Black women with White men, the men are all very highly paid professionals.
I, too, wish folks didn't have to worry so much about such status things, but I know it's hard. In some cases it's almost a cross-cultural thing--even within the same "race." I think well-paying, working class jobs are harder and harder to come by so I think such hook-ups may be even fewer and farther between. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4470
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:07 pm: |
|
Yvettep: "I dunno, ABM. I was thinking more about these instances after I wrote that. In two cases, the women knew the men for a long time prior to them getting together. In another case, the man was in college (where they met) but dropped out. In my case (a looong time ago, pre-marriage lol) the guy just struck me as a good person and I took a chance."
Okay now THAT is very different from the scenario in "Something New" where the sistah and Opie meet via that most wretched of social machinations: The blind date.
And the part about your male acquaintances earning as much as their better educated women is HUGE. I mean, it's kinda hard for a sistah to show that uppity a$$ of hers when the mortgage is in her blue collar HUSBAND'S name as well.
I agree that as high paying wage gigs emigrate to China, India and Mexico, these White/Blue collar couplings will likely strain...and wain.
Or maybe Black foks will - Ripley's Believe It Or Not - realize they'd better start building and supporting their OWN businesses, employers, etc. if we're to ever have a chance to survive and thrive.
Maybe... |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 956
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:24 pm: |
|
I am having some fond (and not so fond!) memories of my cross "social class" encounters since participating on this thread. I remember one big blow-out argument btwn me and a working class fella: the issue of saving and reusing cooking grease and aluminum foil!
Sounds like a little thing. But like the male-female "toilet seat" wars, it was apparently a major indicator of our vast differences.
Interesting... |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1024
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:43 pm: |
|
Abm:
"Who suggested that black women "settle" for a dayum thing? Not I."
Moonsigns:
Abm, you suggested that a black woman wouldn't even think twice about "dating and knocking boots" with a black man who had similar traits as did the white, male character in the movie--I disagreed--on the basis that it is all in how a man presents himself. Which I think is critical to all college-educated professional women--regardless of color. You went on to write (paraphrasing) that, Blacks have certain expectations for each other that they don't have for Whites. Which definitely implies that she seemed to settle for a "joe average", white landscaper (because of his white skin), however, she'd be too critical of a brotha therefore she wouldn't "settle" for him. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But that is my persepctive.
Abm:
"No disrespect. But I don't think you're qualified to debate me about whether Black men and women are especially critical of each other. 'Cause, babe, that's a party that you will NEVER receive a FULL membership pass to attend."
Moonsigns:
No offense taken--because I don't view Blacks like some exclusive group that is a secret society that, on a whole, I want or need to be a part of. I live and let live and accept people as individuals who happen to be part of a particular culture and/or faith backround, not the other way around. There will always be ways in which we understand one another and ways in which we don't. It's a part of life that I accept. The human experience will always be one of turmoil and joy. And no one is exempt from either.
|
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4472
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 06:36 pm: |
|
Moonsigns: "Abm, you suggested that a black woman wouldn't even think twice about "dating and knocking boots" with a black man who had similar traits as did the white, male character in the movie--I disagreed--on the basis that it is all in how a man presents himself. Which I think is critical to all college-educated professional women--regardless of color. You went on to write (paraphrasing) that, Blacks have certain expectations for each other that they don't have for Whites. Which definitely implies that she seemed to settle for a "joe average", white landscaper (because of his white skin), however, she'd be too critical of a brotha therefore she wouldn't "settle" for him. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But that is my persepctive."
I was commenting on the movie, not what Black women would and wouldn't do in REAL life. I think in REAL LIFE it's UNLIKELY Opie ever would have gotten the time of day from Sanaa's character, no matter how he "presents himself"
Moonsigns: "No offense taken--because I don't view Blacks like some exclusive group that is a secret society that, on a whole, I want or need to be a part of. I live and let live and accept people as individuals who happen to be part of a particular culture and/or faith backround, not the other way around. There will always be ways in which we understand one another and ways in which we don't. It's a part of life that I accept. The human experience will always be one of turmoil and joy. And no one is exempt from either."
Uh...okay? Well. At least you have a good reason for calling yourself Moonsigns. |
Shyfox
Newbie Poster
Username: Shyfox
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 09:18 pm: |
|
I come from a working class background and am now a professional- an attorney. I don't exclude blue collar black men as potential mates. |
|
Email This Page