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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 2266
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Monday, November 07, 2005 - 09:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I received the most interesting fan letter today from a Black Woman who is mated with a Mexican/White boyfriend. I wondered what others here would think about what's saying...so I wanted to post it.


Hiii Ms, Boof

My name is Sheena Epps and I just got finished reading your book and I must say that I feel like I learned a WHOLE chunk of my history that has been long forgotten...Everything was so true about it especially of how black Americans view themselves and others and Its such a sad revelation to realize this, but even I have been caught up in this hype at one time or another. My boyfriend happens to be Mexican/white and when reading this book I questioned myself of why I'm truly with him....Is it because I really like him or is it because he so different from me? Have I given up on my own men? But then I remembered that I've always been a person to give anyone a chance as long as they treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I've dated just about everything under the sun and I'm not into the hype of marrying another race for so called "good hair" which is such bullshit, but to me men are men no matter what color they are, but I cant dismiss black men for being accustomed to believing that light is right. I feel such confusion at times for my choice in who I date b/c I sometimes feel like I'm betraying my own b/c I found happiness with a man whose not black, but I do care for this man deeply and I truly believe that beyond anything else a black woman deserves to be happy and loved. I might not be making any sense anymore.ha ha......The point is I LOVED THE BOOK and I think that it should be placed in all high schools as mandatory reading; this book needs to be heard!!!!! I definitely will recommend it to everyone I know. I think I would fit best as a Sula woman cause I'm all for WOMAN POWER!!!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha........My dream has always been to find a Love like in the book, a Love that is destined to be together, eternal and everlasting....Soul-mates and true love do exist....I KNOW IT.......Sorry for babbling on I'm just excited about the book!!!!!!...The truth must be told!!!!

Sheena Epps

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Blaklioness
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Username: Blaklioness

Post Number: 95
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Monday, November 07, 2005 - 10:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

She's confused. Your book made her think about her own motives for dating outside her race. It sounds like she's part of the TRULY ignorant who needed exposure to the other side of the matrix. That's why I keep saying how important it is for you to keep your voice out there...and ask the ancestors how to get going on those children's books for Black girls!!
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Roxie
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Username: Roxie

Post Number: 303
Registered: 06-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 12:17 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Perfect place to post this:

Whether some of you want to accept this or not, there are

still dark/-skinned black women in the US who (through childhood conditioning) are ACTUALLY

convinced that their dark skin and african

features are ugly (like Pecola in TBE). Some of

these women end up having a light-skinned (or

good-haired) child and single out the child in

mistreatment, venting their anger out on the

walking reminder of what they don't have. In

turn, the light-skinned child grows up harboring

bitter feelings towards his/her darker

counterparts and starts to alienate him/herself

from the darker-toned part of the community.As

that LS person becomes an adult, they learn the

advantages that comes with their skin and non-

african features, further distancing themselves

from the darker AA's as revenge for the treatment

he/she recieved as a child. But soon the light

skined person gets hit with the truth when they

find out that they are "Too black" for some

avenues and "not black enough" for others.

It's a cycle.We're the puppets and whites are pulling the strings.
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Kola
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Username: Kola

Post Number: 2268
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 02:00 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I totally agree Roxie.

Although I got the distinct feeling that Sheena is probably not a dark skinned sister.

I could be wrong. But she sounded like the cute lightskinned type IMO, and out of all my girlfriends who are married to non-black men, 3 quarters of them are light to high yellow.

I truly believe that even though Light Women GET black men--they tend to be just as colorist as darker women or more. I mean really, just listen to the things they say in the course of a conversation.




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Moonsigns
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Username: Moonsigns

Post Number: 765
Registered: 07-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 02:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If she is a strong, secure, grown woman who REALLY believes what she wrote (that "men are men"), she would never have written such a B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T letter...that includes her *real* name!



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Tonya
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Username: Tonya

Post Number: 820
Registered: 07-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 03:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm sorry. There is nothing like an authentic black man. Men of other races are men, yes, but black men, to me, are more than just men. I don't mind dating outside my race (especially Asian) but if, for some reason, black men stopped existing and I had to marry outside my race.. I'm certain I wouldn't be happy and I'd feel I'm settling for less. When I think about my future with anything other than a black man I get really, really depressed. I think other races of men are second best and that's not where I want to be.

Tonya
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Kola_boof
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Username: Kola_boof

Post Number: 858
Registered: 02-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 03:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'm interested to know,

why MOON thinks her letter is "bullshit"?

I got the feeling that she was just being honest about the "mixed feelings" one gets in this society about these types of relationships.



And I think most people who send fan letters/emails use their real name.


I'm not saying that MOON is wrong. Just wish she'd expound on what she's saying.



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Libralind2
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Username: Libralind2

Post Number: 266
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 03:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Tonya writes: I'm sorry. There is nothing like an authentic black man. Men of other races are men, yes, but black men, to me, are more than just men. I don't mind dating outside my race (especially Asian) but if, for some reason, black men stopped existing and I had to marry outside my race..

LiLi ponders: Where are there "authentic" black men..? Most men in this US are mixed in MOST (98.9) cases with other races..So unless they are STRAIGHT from Africa..Im just saying..
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Tonya
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Username: Tonya

Post Number: 822
Registered: 07-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 03:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sorry, Lili... I didn't know you were mixed.
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Blaklioness
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Post Number: 100
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 03:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lili:

There are plenty of genetically authentic Black men in the U.S. ... don't confuse Samuel Jackson (physical plantation) with Mario Van Peebles (mental plantation).
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Blaklioness
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Username: Blaklioness

Post Number: 101
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 04:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

What was YOUR thinking on the letter?
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Kola
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Post Number: 2271
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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 08:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hi Lioness,

I sort of agree with a little of what all of you said about her letter.

But I felt she wanted me to "understand" her choice---and I do.

One thing I liked, was that she admitted that she's often asked herself all the questions that my book raised.

But I still felt she's a little deluded. But not beyond FINDING HERSELF.

Her letter and her embracing of the book's message shows that there's HOPE.

And that's what I meant by black females reacting so differently to the issue of colorism and self-hate.

Why is it that the females are not as "In Denial" and are more open to exploring the issue instead of running and saying it's not true?









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Blaklioness
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Username: Blaklioness

Post Number: 106
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 09:02 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Primarily because males tend to think their manhood is at stake if they can't inconsequentially sleep with anything moving; many believe that they have some sort of universal "right" to dismiss the female story. That happens because we don't demand respect and spend WAAY too much time competing with other women over certain males who often don't deserve the attention of a freakin' flea let alone humanity.
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Blaklioness
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Post Number: 107
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, November 08, 2005 - 09:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If you deny the existence of something, then you don't have to do anything about it.
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Roxie
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Username: Roxie

Post Number: 304
Registered: 06-2005

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Posted on Wednesday, November 09, 2005 - 02:56 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

--"but I cant dismiss black men for being accustomed to believing that light is right."--

Let's not forget,women are equally guilty of the same afflicion,and they are the ones who RAISE the black men.

Anyway,
Give Sheena time. If she's smarter than she sounds in that post, she'll have the smarts to understand what her experiential boundaries are and will further start to accept the reality of her life.
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Anonymous
 

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Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 07:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

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