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Post Number: 463
|Posted on Friday, April 01, 2005 - 04:49 pm: |
Moonsigns is a White woman who used to post on the other board before I had my own.
We had a terrible FIGHT for weeks, and unfortunately, ABM made the mistake of trying to come to her defense.
It was VERY ugly, painful and (for me) cathartic. But of course ABM came back to his senses and MOONSIGNS casually slipped away.
She had come in here to DICTATE to us black women how we should feel about her PERFECT Black West Indian husband who had FOUND TRUE LOVE and salvation with her and their Beautiful World-Saving Bi-Racial Dalmations....oops, I meant children.
Of course, I never actually hated her as much as I pretended to, and to be honest---in the beginning, I really liked her. Until she started with the White Woman Saving the Black People bullshit.
AS for REAL LOVE with men, ASHERAH....I think that a huge part of my problem is that I don't believe in it.
Not in the conventional sense.
I believe that ALL HUMANS can only love to certain degrees and that love is an experience than grows and sometimes fades out and falls out like worn teeth.
I feel that I have had TRUE LOVE with one man---my children's father----and that we still love each other, but in a less passionate way. Our love now is more SENSIBLE and centered around our children and we know each other inside out and realize that we cannot change each other. I also think that personal "flaws" are like pimples on the face of TRUE LOVE.
Just because people are flawed doesn't mean that they don't feel real love for you or WANT to be what you want them to be.
I used to have a MAJOR problem with hating men....and one way that I STOPPED hating men.....was to stop having any EXPECTATIONS of what they should be---to just encounter and experience them as they are and to be prepared for the likelihood that the vast majority of them are going to disappoint or disrespect me in some way.....and that as a Black Woman who LOOKS BLACK....there are many in this country who will be prejudiced against me and not acknowledge me just because I'm black, both black and white.
But you're right. I do like being the submissive one in sex. I really do like to tease, seduce and exploit DOMINANT, macho men. I'm really turned on by men who DESPERATELY WANT to nail me. I love men's bodies and I love getting fucked by them and licking all over them. I can't deny it.
I'm sort of a "Fruit Cocktail FEMINIST with Whipped Cream on Top".
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